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Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! - Romance - Nairaland

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Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by lurkee(f): 10:35pm On Nov 25, 2011
The language is a bit "frank" but I found it interesting. Guys do you agree?

How do you keep a man? The Ratchet answer would be to give him the best ass he’s ever had. But those who think that are single and currently figuring out what dress to wear to the club this weekend. Women who have locked down men, and I’m not talking about 6 months, I’m talking years, those women brought something to the table much more powerful than good sex.

You think you’re pretty, you think you’re smart, I bet you think you’re the most interesting woman on the planet right? But how do men view you? I’m not talking about does he turn and look when you walk by, let’s go deeper than the physical bullshit girls use as a crutch. Does he think you’re smart? Does he find you interesting? Are you classy in his mind or just another basic broad he’s ran through? Take a moment to think about the last dude you were seriously involved with. What did he like most about you? If it was something like “My smile” or “The way I rode it” you have a serious problem. Are you the type of woman he can spend all day talking to and has a connection deeper than the physical attraction or are you simply Pussy? And by Pussy I mean your only value to that man is to satisfy his physical needs. Your job is to make him cum. Pussy isn’t just the hoe or the slut, it’s also the girlfriend who we have no intention of marrying or keeping around past a year. Men love pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated to dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and becomes the Baby Mama. But he NEVER EVER marries Pussy. All men see women as Pussy initially, but after a few conversations we can decide if she’s more.



Are you the type he wifes or are you just the pussy?

Does he take you out? Stop being the drive thru hoe. Yeah he’s on hard times, his pockets aren’t built like that, but guess what? That nigga has money to buy a $59.99 PS3 game; he can scrape up a few dollars to take you to a restaurant that doesn’t have pictures on the menu. Your homgirls are single and fine dining and you’re taking Wing Stop to go, you’re not winning because you have a man, you’re losing because you have a man who keeps your dumb ass on Dracula duty, buried in the crib, only coming out when it’s time to buy condoms and Dutch masters.

Have you met his family? I’m not talking about his boys at the smoke house who he chills with and you happen to tag along. Has his mother laid eyes on you? I remember sneaking this girl into my mother’s house and she caught me. I was pissed because this girl was dumb as a brick, and my mother is nosey. My mother asked how she was doing and the bitch stood there as if she were asked to name elements from the periodic table. For years she joked me about the “retarded chinky eyed girl”. If he’s feeling you, you’ll meet the people who are most important to him. Being in the car and waving “hi” or seeing someone for a minute isn’t an introduction. Stop being smuggled hoe!

What do you talk about? “We spend all night on the phone talking, we have so much in common”, Bitch please. Do you know how many hours I’ve spent on the phone with girls who I couldn’t stand? I’ve stayed up until 6am more times than I can count, and it wasn’t because the girl was interesting, it was because I wanted what she had and was putting in work. Take away the gossip, the TV show talk, and the sexual flirting; what the Bleep did I talk to you about? We both like the same colors… wow. We both randomly know Chauncey the stick up boy… incredible.  Spending twenty minutes saying “Did You Miss Me” and having a back and forth on who missed who gets played. The number one question a man wants to know, “When can I see you”. Why? Because you’re Pussy and we can’t get Pussy over the phone.

Are You Jeopardy Girl or Family Feud Girl? You’re not the brightest, you can tie your shoe and put your hair into a bun, but that’s where your genius ends. Stop pretending as if you visit CNN.com before you visit mediatakeout.com.  It’s okay to be into basic shit, but be able to put together a sentence. If I say, “So why didn’t you like Black Swan” don’t come at me with, “That was some white people shit”. That’s not a movie review, that’s a woman with poor analytical skills who tuned out as soon as she realized this wasn’t a comedy. There are more important things than Chris Brown’s dick. If I wanted to date a woman with the life experience of a 17 year old I would have become a gym teacher or a stepfather. Stop being afraid to ask questions, research things you don’t understand, have a desire to be the best dressed at the party and the most interesting.



If a man won’t commit then he sees you as Pussy. You were in a relationship for 3 months, and he started acting funny… Did you really break up with him or did he sabotage the relationship after your Pussy expired? Yes, pussy has an expiration date. It expires exactly 3-4 months after we first hit it. The more you smash the faster it expires. It’s not milk, you can continue to hit pussy after it’s long expired, people are married and love hitting expired pussy, it still feels good. But it will never be at the height it was when it was considered new pussy. As a wise man once said, “There’s no pussy like new pussy, and that’s how a nigga feel”. Being extra freaky or dating during the winter months may buy you an extra two months of that new pussy smell, but that’s it. No matter If it lasts 4 months or 6 months, the man will show signs of cabin fever because you don’t have anything real that keeps him tied to you. This man didn’t suddenly become an asshole, that’s not the real reason you’re arguing after months of lovey dovey shit, he’s tired of your pussy and he’s ready to move on to the next girl because you don’t stimulate him mentally. Sure he may come back to hit it after the relationship is over, but no junkie stops cold turkey. The point is he’s now only using you for Pussy, and that reaffirms that from the jump he saw you as Pussy never wifey! There is no such thing as Marry Me Pussy. No matter how good you think your shot is, there has yet to be a vagina built that can make a man throw a ring on it. Personality, charm, charisma > Pussy. If you want to keep a man, not just have someone to roll around in the bed and eat lemon pepper strips with, look in the mirror and ask, “Would I want me?” It’s like a job interview, the strengths are obvious and often times exaggerated. The weaknesses, those are hard to figure out, it’s not because you don’t have any, it’s because we rarely take a serious look at what’s wrong with us. Other than stupidity which we can’t really cure, there are several things that hold men back from promoting women, but here are my top two,

Are You Boring: No one wants a girl who sits around saying “I’m bored”? If you’re a bored female, that means you are boring. I don’t care how pretty you are I don’t want to waste my time with a boring chick who always needs to be entertained by the most basic shit.  I’m bored my phone’s not ringing today. I’m bored nobody’s texting me. I’m bored nothing’s on TV. Guess what? I’m bored after fucking you for a month because all you do is seek attention. Your coochie may be wet, but your personality is dry! There are people that make things happen and there are people who complain that nothing’s happening. Which are you?

Are You Loyal: Yeah yeah you would never cheat physically, but who do you talk to besides him? Who do you flirt with besides him? Men know when a female has an active phonebook. Do you think he’s going to see you as more than a good time girl if you have dudes blowing up your phone? He can say, “cut every other dude off for me” but let’s be realistic, you have excuses to why you talk to these niggas, he’s your brother, he’s your best male friend, you work with him… the list goes on. If you’re not willing to let go of your backup dick then why should he upgrade you from the Pussy to the potential wifey?



If you are a girl who’s tired of the dating game and want something deeper than 9 inches and a text message, then it’s time to get serious and change the way men view you. When you go out on dates have something to say, push the conversation in directions you haven’t taken it before. Show him that you aren’t like the rest of these girls out here; make him feel as if you’re the type of woman he can raise children with… not drop children in. They say that beside every great man there is a great woman. History doesn’t remember women who could do it with no hands; they remember women who could do it with their brains. Stop Being Pussy, that’s how you keep a man.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by lurkee(f): 10:38pm On Nov 25, 2011
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Goldieluks: 10:48pm On Nov 25, 2011
I will need a reading machine for this.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Nobody: 10:52pm On Nov 25, 2011
[size=14pt]I'll be damned if i read this. . .[/size]
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Yorisb: 11:43pm On Nov 25, 2011
@OP

What's the summary abeg?
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by freecocoa(f): 11:59pm On Nov 25, 2011
Op in five sentences please.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by ArQueBusieR(m): 12:10am On Nov 26, 2011
I can't believe I read the whole thing. Darn! Shoot me, somebody!!
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by MrsChima1(f): 12:12am On Nov 26, 2011
sexkillz:

[size=14pt]I'll be damned if i read this. . .[/size]

You read it didn't you? Tell the truth. wink tongue
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Nobody: 12:20am On Nov 26, 2011
Mrs, Chima:

You read it didn't you? Tell the truth. wink tongue
[size=14pt]Truthfully, i'd rather eat very hot yam. . .[/size] wink
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by MrsChima1(f): 12:29am On Nov 26, 2011
sexkillz:

[size=14pt]Truthfully, i'd rather eat very hot yam. . .[/size] wink

Uhmm. You do know hot yam is a nick name for something else right? embarassed lipsrsealed
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by MarcAnthon(m): 12:31am On Nov 26, 2011
Y'all necessarily have to cultivate reading habits, else you might just be guilty of what the man was saying - shallow, unintelligent girls won't be taken seriously by men. No one's intelligent all by himself. It's the body of ur knowledge and experience that sets u apart. That's where reading comes in.
Having said that, I think the whole man-woman thing is overrated. People have been known to be happy all by themselves. Having to constantly do self- assessments all for the purpose of attracting a male or female is really stretching it, IMO.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by seedord247(m): 12:31am On Nov 26, 2011
Sexkillz you suppose fit read am now. . . because them say na Night Albino dey see wellla. grin grin
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Nobody: 12:41am On Nov 26, 2011
Mrs, Chima:

Uhmm. You do know hot yam is a nick name for something else right? embarassed lipsrsealed
[size=14pt]No, i dont know. . . tongue tongue And i dont mean the nick name![/size]
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by MrsChima1(f): 12:43am On Nov 26, 2011
sexkillz:

[size=14pt]No, i dont know. . . tongue tongue And i dont mean the nick name![/size]

You are smoove. grin tongue
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by kelz88(f): 12:54am On Nov 26, 2011
If you read that you should prolly think about getting a life.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by MarcAnthon(m): 12:57am On Nov 26, 2011
^^^wow! So u don't read, articles, newspapers, books. That's serious o.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by kelz88(f): 1:01am On Nov 26, 2011
Not articles about being a wifey or pu ssy, I don't.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by MarcAnthon(m): 1:14am On Nov 26, 2011
I see. But u never know what u might pick up from surfing here and there, even if to buttress opinions u already hold. And like I said earlier I don't agree with the theme of writing either.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by lurkee(f): 1:29am On Nov 26, 2011
MarcAnthon:

Y'all necessarily have to cultivate reading habits, else you might just be guilty of what the man was saying - shallow, unintelligent girls won't be taken seriously by men. No one's intelligent all by himself. It's the body of your knowledge and experience that sets u apart. That's where reading comes in.
Having said that, I think the whole man-woman thing is overrated. People have been known to be happy all by themselves. Having to constantly do self- assessments all for the purpose of attracting a male or female is really stretching it, IMO.

Nicely said. I read a lot so I find it easy for me to do so. I agree about not changing yourself but I think the writer was coming from his own point of view as to why some women would not be more than the girlfriend. So you read a lot too? Nice. . .  wink

kelz88:

Not articles about being a wifey or pu ssy, I don't.

I agree about the language being a bit crude but it is worth a read. The censor here has substituted most of the bad words though.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by MarcAnthon(m): 2:32am On Nov 26, 2011
Yes I do. Used to do a lot more reading when I was young and free, wink. Now the 'pursuit of happiness' leaves one with little time to do those things he loves doing. Ironic, isn't it?
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by neyostica: 6:33am On Nov 26, 2011
Op, you are spot on
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by HISchild: 7:19am On Nov 26, 2011
Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but GOD shall destroy both it and Them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.”- 1 Corinthians 6:13

"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
- 1 Cor 7:1-2

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” - Hebrews 13:4

Humbly, yet firmly stated, like it or not, this is truth.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by slimyem: 7:34am On Nov 26, 2011
ooooooookay.i read this and i'm so unbelieveable!
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by slimyem: 7:36am On Nov 26, 2011
nice read.interesting points!
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by 2kurupt(m): 7:51am On Nov 26, 2011
That's some article with a funny twist to it aside the crude language.

Seriously, most 9ja gals are guilty of this. They hardly offer anything on the table in a relationship side punny (no offence).
@Marc anthony, self assessment is best evaluated by friends, family and foe; and of coz the opposite sex else wats the worth?
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Mynd44: 7:59am On Nov 26, 2011
Arrant nonsense. Read the first three lines and I slept off
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by ElmA1(f): 8:09am On Nov 26, 2011
@Poster: nice. really nice. i like!
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Flashaldrin(m): 8:12am On Nov 26, 2011
slimyem:

nice read.interesting points!
sooo, undecided undecided
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Mynd44: 8:17am On Nov 26, 2011
yeah sooo?
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by mirob(f): 1:39pm On Nov 26, 2011
@poster, interesting write up, so on point.
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by Mynd44: 1:43pm On Nov 26, 2011
^
Birds of a feather
Re: Are You Wifey Or Are You P***y? - For Da Ladies! by freecocoa(f): 1:44pm On Nov 26, 2011
Okay fine,let me read it after all,e no big near novels wey I dey read.

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