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Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 1:30pm On Dec 04, 2011
What do you think about a lady who's in a relationship with you and doesn't respect your family angry


Re: Question For Nairalanders by Excelboi(m): 1:36pm On Dec 04, 2011
^^ thatz quite unusual for a girl to respect you and not respect ur family (so far the family are not against ur relationship with her). Maybe you ask her the reason why she doesnt respect them and from her reply you may judge that bt as for me, hmm BRB.
Re: Question For Nairalanders by ismaeel86(m): 1:39pm On Dec 04, 2011
Is it a white lady or a Nigerian lady?
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 1:46pm On Dec 04, 2011
ismaeel86:

Is it a white lady or a Nigerian lady?

shes both angry


Excelboi:

^^ thatz quite unusual for a girl to respect you and not respect your family (so far the family are not against your relationship with her). Maybe you ask her the reason why she doesnt respect them and from her reply you may judge that bt as for me, hmm BRB.

This question got me knocked off as a friend was involved this early sunday morning in a hot heated argument with his girl
and yes his family doesnt see or like the girl anymore cos they feel shes not the type of lady to bring the best of their son, they claim shes evil and shes a flirt and the lady in question knows these things -
Personally i feel shes a flirt though but not sure of the evil path - the dude's rite here reading the responses as i clearly had to direct him 2 the best place for questions and answers (Nairaland)
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 2:57pm On Dec 04, 2011
undecided
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Nobody: 3:00pm On Dec 04, 2011
send her away joooooor
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Amya(f): 3:07pm On Dec 04, 2011
Well,if I was a guy I don't think it would bother me much. Since my own family do not respect her. Respect is reciprocal.
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 3:08pm On Dec 04, 2011
bandiejay:

send her away joooooor
grin  grin
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Mynd44: 3:49pm On Dec 04, 2011
There has to be a reason why she does not respect them and that reason should be given priority. I am of the assuption that the guy does not want to call it quits but if not, bye bye should be in order
Re: Question For Nairalanders by sugardaddy1(m): 5:13pm On Dec 04, 2011
@OP
It's inherent in most naija women but if you make it known by your actions at the very onset that you will not toerate such, the women are usually able to avoid it like a plague.
It made me lose a marriage-bound relationship of over 3yrs because I was trying to be diplomatic by supporting the lady in question, hoping that would make her know I love her and be magnanimous. But unfortunately, it gave her the false impression that she could pick up cane and beat up my younger ones some of whom were her mates & insulted my parents whenever either or both of them tried to intervene on a number of occasions right in the full glare of outsiders on one of such occasions! It was a very big problem for me until I was able to use one of the ten commandments (honour your father & mother so that your days may be long) as a valid reason to put an end to the relationship when the heat became too much on me ( Who doesn't want to live long?).
Re: Question For Nairalanders by dabrake(m): 6:49pm On Dec 04, 2011
Amya:

Well,if I was a guy I don't think it would bother me much. Since my own family do not respect her. Respect is reciprocal.
amya, i wanna beleive you were drunk when you posted that(no offense meant pls). Believe me, guys dont play with their families expecially their mum. That's a secret. @topic, it's either we resolve it or i yield the stick. If na my wife, omo, my family FIT go down oh. Else, . . .
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 6:59pm On Dec 04, 2011
^True smiley
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Yorisb: 7:06pm On Dec 04, 2011
undecided undecided
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Nobody: 7:10pm On Dec 04, 2011
@190
what kind of disrespect are you talking about? if she doesnt say hello to them then i can fully understand why. they have already labelled her evil and bad for the guy, what do you expect her to do: smile like nothing happened?
the GUY is the whole problem here because HE should have made up his mind and act accordingly from there.

- if he wanted to be with this gal regardless of how the family is hating on her then family gathering/dinner are out the door. family and all should be avoided at all costs and i can predict a very lonely future (family wise). why would he even want her around such haters?!

- if he wanted to follow his family then he should have simply dumped the gal and move on with his life until he can find the right gal (for his family lol)

you cant have your cake and eat it too!
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 7:13pm On Dec 04, 2011
MRbrownJAY:

@190
what kind of disrespect are you talking about? if she doesnt say hello to them then i can fully understand why. they have already labelled her evil and bad for the guy, what do you expect her to do: smile like nothing happened?
the GUY is the whole problem here because HE should have made up his mind and act accordingly from there.

- if he wanted to be with this gal regardless of how the family is hating on her then family gathering/dinner are out the door. family and all should be avoided at all costs and i can predict a very lonely future (family wise). why would he even want her around such haters?!

- if he wanted to follow his family then he should have simply dumped the gal and move on with his life until he can find the right gal (for his family lol)

you cant have your cake and eat it too!

angry angry
Re: Question For Nairalanders by pendo89(f): 7:23pm On Dec 04, 2011
She had better make peace with the parents if she serious about settling with the guy. Not talking about his sisters or bros (those can chose to be nasty) but parents is something else.
What made her disrespect the boy's parents? Even if there's a justifiable reason its always good to eat humble pie and ask for forgiveness from older people. Some blessings they carry can last you a lifetime.
Now even these 'parents' need to behave well too so that instead of competing for their son's attention,accept her as a daughter and talk to her instead of castigating her.
But what about the guy? he has the final say u know.
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 7:43pm On Dec 04, 2011
^exactly

he wants the girl to do wat she needs to do buts shes feelin all pumpos and saying wen the rite tyme coms
things would fall back into place
shes not ready to apologize 4 her wrongsundecided
Re: Question For Nairalanders by pendo89(f): 8:14pm On Dec 04, 2011
190_@:

^exactly

he wants the girl to do wat she needs to do buts shes feelin all pumpos and saying wen the rite tyme coms
things would fall back into place
shes not ready to apologize 4 her wrongsundecided


And they expect to have what kind of relationship? Why do the parents want to change the girl's behaviour if the guy found her desirable?
What she needs to understand is that when it comes to old people or parents we don't compete like we are on same level.They may be wrong but some issues are best solved through playing humble not proud.It's for her own good and future anyway not anybody's.
But then its still up to the guy to decide.He has the option of marrying the gal and go live in pagopago far from family influence or just let go cz its gonna be a pain in the neck kind of relationship with the families at crossroads
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Nobody: 8:17pm On Dec 04, 2011
^^^^
i am sorry to say that begging for their forgiveness is WRONG in my book. they should all sit down and discuss whatever issue they have. they ALL should apologize to one another. no point in apologizing if she is going to get the SAME treatment all over again.

@190
what EXACTLY has she done?! and what exactly has the family done to her?
Re: Question For Nairalanders by pendo89(f): 8:25pm On Dec 04, 2011
MRbrownJAY:


@190
what EXACTLY has she done?! and what exactly has the family done to her?

the same question on my mind. why do they call her 'evil' undecided
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 8:32pm On Dec 04, 2011
^The dude in question came across me looking all bothered saying
He needed my sincere advice and that his family were at loggerheads with his girl
cos they found out that shes been cheating on him bla bla bla

To be sincere, he did find out she cheated on him and worked tins out but his family are
still not willing to drop issues and the lady in question despite knowing shes goofed isnt willing
to eat from that humble pie upendo is talking about,
the dude just make tins return back to normal and make his family accept that girl back
but he sure needs the girl to step out from that silly pride she thinks she has and work things out for good

personally i adviced her that she can never be bigger than the family of that dude neither should she expect the best
from that relationship where the dude continues to see his family and remembers the issue on ground, he had laid issue out to his family
but they simply are refusing to accept the girl back and would rather leave the dude whos my friend in question to his own detriment
the lady in question feels sooner or later they would get tired

but wetin be my own for inside, i have said what i know
2mrw he could come and see U guys replies and decide - to be sincere, i dont think the girl in question is humble and meek
and thats something a wife should have. but its his choice not mine undecided
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Nobody: 8:40pm On Dec 04, 2011
i am yet to see where she disrespected the family?! or is cheating on her bf the lack of respect for his family?

the only person she has to apologize to (about cheating) is her bf. . . . . .  and anyone else who has issues about it should refer them to the BF, not the gal.
Re: Question For Nairalanders by pendo89(f): 8:53pm On Dec 04, 2011
Ouch what a way to start with inlaws and the issue at hand is not even a small matter.
I am just sitted here asking myself,who is the girl getting married to?
But this is just my view. If she messed and she made up with the guy, why do the parents still hold on to past forgiven mistakes? How many people make this relationship?
Are the parents not complicating matters for the guy by choosing not to forgive the girl? It scares her off I guess,so she just chooses to play it hard and let it pass.
Whatevr it's up to the guy to decide really and not the parents.
Re: Question For Nairalanders by mykali(m): 9:26pm On Dec 04, 2011
why should she have so much pride? i know she's well educated and intelligent and not some brat picked from a village, but she still has to hav a bit of humility.
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 9:34pm On Dec 04, 2011
mykali:

why should she have so much pride? i know she's well educated and intelligent and not some brat picked from a village, but she still has to hav a bit of humility.
cool cool
Re: Question For Nairalanders by femmy2010(m): 9:45pm On Dec 04, 2011
she us ready for a long time thing then.
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Nobody: 10:01pm On Dec 04, 2011
[size=14pt]Smh @ majority of one sided replies so far. Thank you MBJ, ! I dont know the Kind of Jackshit i've been reading so far!

Respect is Reciprocal. You dont expect respect, if you dont earn it. What if she decides to be a good girl, and then after she becomes his wife, she changes? Duh! He didnt think about that too, right?
The only problem she really has is with her bf. If she's cool with him, that's all! Smh@ a guy's family being greater than his future wife? What happens when she decides to place her family above his family too? Duh! Dumb thinking!
Again, why on God's earth, should a man or woman forsake his/her wife/husband, and focus on individual families? Did you marry your family? Since you want respect so much, pls marry your sister! If you cant, find the next available flight, out of that girl's life, and quit giving her nightmares now that she is yet to get married to you, and QUIT making her have nightmares about what she'll face when she eventually marries you!. . . Hah![/size]
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 10:03pm On Dec 04, 2011
femmy2010:

she us ready for a long time thing then.


Re: Question For Nairalanders by Mynd44: 4:16am On Dec 05, 2011
They need to sit down and iron the issue out simple else there is going to be Storms on their teacups
Re: Question For Nairalanders by Phate07(m): 4:20am On Dec 05, 2011
190_@:

What do you think about a lady who's in a relationship with you and doesn't respect your family angry



Simple, just send her packing. angry
Re: Question For Nairalanders by 195(f): 6:20am On Dec 05, 2011
Phate07:

Simple, just send her packing. angry

Re: Question For Nairalanders by neyostica: 6:57am On Dec 05, 2011
Op, tell your frnd to show her the backdoor, abi he don eat vegetable ni

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