Event : Launching of the New Ultra modern Jokes Section All Jokers Offtopic Bar Joint (Reloaded) Building.
Invited : All The Cream De La Cream Of Nairaland Society.
Venue : Reception Hall,1st Entertainment Avenue,Nairaland.
Special Guest of Honour : Chief Mr. OluwaSeun Osewa.
MC : His Shepke Highness - Chika Odili a.k.a Jackpot.
In Attendance : 820,000 (filled to capacity).


Jackpot : Ladies and Gentlemen without much ado,allow me to make welcome M I K U Z !!>(*The auditorium erupts into an uncontrollable hysteria of Majestic Applause*)
Mikuz : (*Bearing in mind that he has finally become a famous figure - with the warm welcome from the crowd,steps into the podium,clears his throat and . . .*)
Ladies and MentleGen . . . (*pretends as if he has a problem with the MIC,the way he gazed at it as Bright007,Jackpot and the Whole crowd watch on with suspense,but Mikuz continues . . .*)
Ladies and Gentlemen,All protocols observed . . .(* looks more confident now as he straightens out the collar of his €50,000 worth of French suit and shakes off his arms a little so as to reveal his arm and leg costing gold wrist watch,this impels Chi-baby and Efemena_xy to arch their neck!! Mikuz fires on . . .*)
I am honoured to be in this historical gathering this evening and have Nairaland's Jokes Section Best Poster for Year elect - Jackpot!!! To have the torch of the Bartender passed over to me. The relationship between the old members of this section and that of the new ones have become more harmonized today, with my ascension to this enviable position. I would love to say more but unfortunately I have to keep it this brief.
So its about that time again, we get on a state of reunion,with due respect to everyone here present both the old and new members as the case may be. Just wondering how this event could have been ,without your unwaivering support and attendance, I am indeed ungrateful.

Giving much thanks to :
Jackpot (Jokes Section Poster for Year!!)
Bright007 ( Of 'Where is d Joke' Hall of Fame)
Studio Cfr ( Copy and Paste Joker for Year)
Dani1luv ( One and Only Imaginary Best Mod I of Nairaland)
El Guapo (2nd Best Jokes Poster for Year)
Sledge (3rd best Jokes Poster for Year)
Ajibel ( Jokes Section Best Critic for Year)
Element G (Jokes Section Best Old Member for Year)
Efemena_xy (The Effizzy Babe)>Idowuogbo (Mrs Badosky = 'E better Say I no Talk o')
Booqee ( My First Lady)
Recognitions to :
McAdem a.k.a Mike Na Dem
Mustspin a.k.a Mustn'tspin
Chi-baby a.k.a Ifedinaukwu
Kellynoah a.k.a Kelly,you know am?
TonyFred a.k.a Tony the Fried Rice
Tellwisdom a.ka. The Television
Dyt
Donkollione a.k.a E don kolo
Bunmioguns
Bin gbagbo a.k.a Bin crap-gbo
ObiomA
Hamid
Pharoh a.k.a The lost Pharoah
Excellboi
Ben-10
Agybabe
Bad guy
Mykali
Mr. Bones
(*Abeg no vex if I omit ya name oh!!)
(* Over at the new bar in the midst of a huge crowd*)
Seun : This you all now know is the ultra modern 2012 version of the Famous Bar Joint for Jokers. After a boring day at the office just hop in and ask for bottle(s) of anything of your choice and Mikuz would be at your service.
(* looks for the scissors . . . Can't find it . . . So . . . *)
So on behalf of My cabinet members,the mods and what have you ,I thereby commission this Building (* he bites and cuts the ribbon with his teeth as the crowd Dance and wine away with Enyoyment!*)

I hereby close down dis bar for copyright infringement act which is a crime under section2 subsection5 paragraph56 sub parragraph47 in D̶̲̥̅̊ constitution of joke section nairaaland forum. Anything u do or say will b used against u in D̶̲̥̅̊ court of law.

But wait first pass  mε̲̣̣̣̥  alomo mk I high plus 2bottles of suya  ̶̲̥̅̊

*yawwns*

Only wanted Criminals Wine and Dines here

I dont want to be mistaken for a criminal so i gatz proceed to Nicon Hilton Hotel where responsible people wine and dines

**this place is truely magnificent!

@studio u r unda arrest 4 abusing Fed Gov of nairaland joke section property ̶̲̥̅̊


Pls bouncer take him outta here

*where d??
o??
I park my canoe?seems no habour to park my expensive canoe*

FESTIVAL OF MADNESS!!!!



SOOOO MANY BUSH PIGS HERE!



WOUF!!!

hehe, miztook. .aw e go be na, lol, old bar tenancy neva expire, ko

ah oga donkollione our alomo just dey finish now now,but na the two bottles of suya dem be this. Cans of palm wine too dey o,e cold well well.
Shey make i bring two cans too?

miztook, i'ld like ya to correct sumthing, the joker of the year, it hasnt been officially declared, so pls kindly edit

welcome saddler, na the latest all expensive ultra modern bar joint be this o.
We don land to paint the town pink.
Mehn,this ya ferrari canoe make sense die.
Choi,na 2015 model?
Eh . . Em . . E get one small gutter wey dey front.
Just drive go front small,come back again,then pretend like say you want go left,then change to gear 6,then turn to the middle of the center,you go see the gutter:just park ya canoe there.
Thank you sir.

Ah yes baba mikuz bring 2cans of palmwine serve ma frend bin gbagbo one, And help  mε̲̣̣̣̥ show MR dani1luv D̶̲̥̅̊ kitchen let him help in tiding the dishes I mean washing plates

DON. U smoke shit shey, see ya left eye, oboi park well make i see road jare. . . . .otondo

See as person leave road dey enter bush!!
studio,nicon hiton??
Choi, shey una no go hold studio back?
Na like this person dey take dig em own grave o. Na so em go chop for one local fastfood d other day without money,na so dem just pounce on the poor guy. Na bin gbagbo save am that day. If not . . .
Em want start again ,em think say bouncers no dey there.

sharrap, wetin u dey talk?

donkoll
ok oga, *hands bin a chilled Can of palmwine*
mehn,but how you take know say i need dish washers?
You dey sensitive o. And before i forget, me need bar tender assistants sef,ya gf dey available?

^chei, we nor want that him 2-bow legged short.sighted albino babe, bingbagbo babe go fit sha

@dani,
na my world class bar be this and na only me dey call the shots here.
You no go dictate to me wetin i go do. You hear me so?
look at me and look at trouble o,u wan drag the ownership of this bar with me?
Talk wetin you want jor,make i serve u. I no dey for hanky panky.
Other customers dey wait.

**whispers into mikuzs ear** u gv dis guy D̶̲̥̅̊ alomo wey finish I mean dani1luv,  D guy wan change am for ma head oo


** mε̲̣̣̣̥ reaches for broken bottle ready to fyt**  

How dear u talk about  mε̲̣̣̣̥  L♥√ع lyk dah, Abeg mikuz hold  mε̲̣̣̣̥ oo I go jus I go jus change am 4 dis guy oo  

come oh,
So donkoll babe na albino?
Choi! I no know o.
But you sure say bin babe sef get better manchester and they are up front and united? And you know if her arsenal big? You know say those type dey magnate customers sharp sharp. Esp pharoh!!

oga jackpot e dey for fire o,but make i bring hot goalder and digestive biscuit for you? E go serve as appetizers.

*holding back donkoll* wait . . wait . . . wait. . . Give me the money for the 2 bottles of suya and 2 cans of palm wine you order before you break dani head first.
You never pay for ya drinks you want fight here abi?
Today today wey i start business! Pay me jor!!

**just driving $ notices dis newly opened bar**Quickly swerve my escalade to d right $ drive straight into vip parking lot**highlights and stares at d modern facilities portrayed by this bar**talks to himself**Mikuz must have robbed bank to be able to put this bar up to this level**anyway sha, *make I enter motor leave wetin dem write on top motor**

@mikuz Heheheheh, ̶̲̥̅̊


** in D̶̲̥̅̊ process of D̶̲̥̅̊ struggle n huzzle pickpockets mikuz ** ̶̲̥̅̊
** runs outta bar with D̶̲̥̅̊ remaining can of palmwine** ̶̲̥̅̊

*bright enters*
oga welcome o.
How ya family?
Wetin i go serve you?

donkoll,
shuo,see as one can of chilled palmwine just dey high you anyhow.

mikuz:

oga jackpot e dey for fire o,but make i bring hot goalder and digestive biscuit for you? E go serve as appetizers.

digestive biscuits? Lol. you harsh o. Er, don't worry make I wait for my orders jor

Er, oga mikuz
shey you get security for this place?
you've to oh cos yeye elements full for here. I don dey hear pick-pocket na, hope say I'm safe?

Dani dis shud b deleted, we have a rule to follow.if one thread hasn't got d 100pg mark y bother open anoda 1 to bore us alll

yeah,i dey think towards that security line.no mind that donkoll,by the time i install computer-simulated sec. Cameras everywhere dem go hear am.
Btw,that reminds me of agybabe,after the launching, she no come show again o.
I ll like to employ her,that chick back na baghdad.
You know na.

@id
chill!!
Calm down jor!!
Wetin you go take?
Coke?