Marry Her And Be Disowned - Family - Nairaland
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I Saw Her Through School; Now I'm No More Qualified To Marry Her / Man In Court, Says Wife Must Refund N1.4 Million He Spent To Marry Her / 8 Year Old Girl Raped, Disowned By Family. (2) (3) (4)
| Marry Her And Be Disowned by wabterry(m): 3:58pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
Am having the worst time of my life now, i reside here in SA, and i met a Cameroonian girl and we fell in love, in short we have a daughter together, and i love this girl and i told my family about my plans to marry her, and they told that over their dead body will they allow that, that if i insist in marrying her, that they will disown me. They give flimsy excuse that Cameroonians are promiscuous and have low moral upbringing, even as much as i try to explain that this girl is a nice girl(a doctoral student), they still dont give ground. they told me to tell the girl to go with the child and i should come home and marry a Nigerian. I told them i cant throw away my daughter and behave as if she never existed. Am really worried here, am confused on how to handle this issue. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Nobody: 4:19pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
Lived in Bakassi for a couple of years and came into close contact with Cameroonians. While I do not want to stereotype any one,got to admit your people have a point about them being enjoyment people who love the good life. How ever if you love this girl and she already has a kid for you,I suggest you follow your heart. Nobody is going to live with you,so nobody should choose for you. If she pleases you,go ahead and marry her. You can not throw away your kid! |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Nobody: 4:21pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by ronkebp(f): 5:12pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
^^^^ Am sure they would change their minds on seeing their grandaughter, they might not change their minds though on the mother. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by horny4u(f): 6:02pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
I say parents are definately blessingss to us and we must love and cherish them , thats what we owe them, love , cherish, prosperity, respect not worship or adoration this we forward to our Creator. Oh boy live your live and when they disown make you get their bank account no to enable you fulfill what you owe them, when they are ready to have the joy of being with their grand kids they must be welcomed, until then NEVER give up your free will. marry your babe if she is promiscous na you go suffer am, no one else and if you are making a good choice na you again. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by tpia5: 6:05pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
^True that. Fact is, some people have to live, while others have to learn from how some people lived. Yorubas call it arikogbon ie you live and learn or see and learn. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by freecocoa(f): 6:12pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
I really can't imagine anyone giving me such orders,your parents definitely have a say in your life but not like this,how do they expect you to just forget about your child?hah! I also agree with what a poster said,take your kid to see them and if they still refuse you go ahead and do your thing,with time they may come around. How can parents even choose a partner for someone when they aren't the ones who would live with the chosen one? It kinda annoying. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by dayokanu(m): 6:51pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
^^ Do you think your parent would reject me when I come to visit them? if you think so then lets have triplets before going and leave them with little choices |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by freecocoa(f): 10:59pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
^ Hahaha,nah my dad's very enlightened and respects our opinions\decisions especially since we are adults,he would only have you investigated and everything would be fine if you are worth it. Btw I'm already taken.  |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by dayokanu(m): 11:18pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
taken for where Abeg dont tell me that cos I get temper o I fit broke bottle for the guy head, So go back and tell him that you forgot to tell him initially that you get husband make he go marry someone else |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by freecocoa(f): 11:27pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
^ The guy is an air marshal o,I'm sure you wouldn't wanna mess with him plus he's the one dad collected bride price from,dad doesn't know you.  |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by dayokanu(m): 11:41pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
Air marshall ko, Road safety marshal ni or is it Wasiu Ayinde marshal Abeg how much be the brideprice let me change his whole salary to coins  Ordinary Air marrshal dey follow me drag woman. This life don spoil oo |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by freecocoa(f): 11:56pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
Hahaha,Chei DK you won't kill me o. Okay the official bride price is #1000 and you'll be given a balance of any amount dad dims fit,but balance must be given. Air marshal is ordinary?please what's your occupation?I'm already thinking of going with you if you can out do him. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by dayokanu(m): 11:58pm On Jan 10, 2012 |
^^ Air marshal is ordinary where I am talking Dayokanu is talking, Air marshal say he get idea? Nonsense and ingridient I am his employer BTW |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by freecocoa(f): 12:05am On Jan 11, 2012 |
Wow interesting,so are you coming to refund the dowry to him? Abi you just dey buga for here?mind you he'll demand compensation for his time wasted and emotional trauma I'll cause him if I decide to marry you.  |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by dayokanu(m): 12:10am On Jan 11, 2012 |
Shebi compensation na money? As long as there is a price tag let him bring it. I would refund his dowry put change on top Who born am for this land? |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by freecocoa(f): 12:16am On Jan 11, 2012 |
DK DK,yes compensation go be money but wait o,what if he says the only thing he'll take as compensation is me giving him a child,would you agree to that?  |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by dayokanu(m): 12:49am On Jan 11, 2012 |
Say wetin happen? Which kain demand be dat? he should better respect himself or he would end up getting nothing |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by moremi2008(m): 2:34am On Jan 11, 2012 |
What exactly are the implications of being disowned? Do your parents feed you and send you pocket money? A little child is involved here and you love this woman. Bros, it's time to man up and live-up to your responsibilities. At the end of the day, your parents are not the ones living your life for you and they are certainly not the ones bearing the consequences of your choices. Your parents are setting you up for a lifetime of unhappiness because abandoning your daughter and her mother now will be sowing seeds of bitterness that will bear fruit in unexpected ways in the future. What is even the guarantee that the Nigerian they want you to marry won't be the biggest w'hore in town? This is the one case where I would recommend ignoring parental wishes. PS - Dayo and Freecocoa, you guys need to stop derailing this thread with your foolishness. Your banter is not remotely interesting to anybody and both of you come across as a little bit mentally challenged. Just saying. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Nobody: 3:32am On Jan 11, 2012 |
I have lost interest in this thread already  |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by moremi2008(m): 3:37am On Jan 11, 2012 |
jennykadry: Why? The silly banter between dayo and freecongo? |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Outstrip(f): 4:35am On Jan 11, 2012 |
Okay for me things like these are black and white. When a parent tells a child that they should abandone their own child then nothing that parent has to say is worth listening to. I know it will be hard for people to swallow but I do not consider someone who says a thing like that to be the one you listen to when you need to make a honorable decision that you will carry for the rest of your life. When they threatened to disown you you should have told them that you were disowning them for asking you to throw away your child. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Nobody: 4:42am On Jan 11, 2012 |
@moremi Yes, I really was very interested in this thread before now. I agree with you outstrip. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by freecocoa(f): 6:17am On Jan 11, 2012 |
moremi2008:You must be seriously high on craze when you typed that,why can't you just waka pass abi na you get thread? After all its still about marriage,mind your frigging business.nansense. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by thatchic: 6:52am On Jan 11, 2012 |
Honor your mother and father, but some of them have no honor and that’s why they advised you to abandon your own flesh and blood. Your role as a father is to love and protect etc,let them disown you, its their loss not yours. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by 2mch(m): 5:38pm On Jan 11, 2012 |
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| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Genius100: 4:08am On Jan 12, 2012 |
Your parents are unreasonable. Call their bluff and marry the girl if you are sure she's the one for you. Just know that marriage is certainly not a bed of roses and you will have marital issues with this girl just like you would any other girl. Don't run away and think your parents were right at the first sign of marital issues, Good luck |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Nobody: 3:28pm On Jan 12, 2012 |
Isn't it amazing, in this day and age, to find parents (who should know better) playing the "disown" card? @ Watberry, you're a grown man, you have a daughter, planned or not, it doesn't matter. The fact is she exists and isn't going away. I think your parents are being unreasonable in their request that you ditch the girl and your child, their grand daughter. How any parents can encourage their son to run away from his responsibilities is beyond me. And their dislike of your girlfriend goes way beyond her country of origin. If that's all it is, they don't like Cameroonians, then I would say their stereotypical stand here is unjust. Like all Nigerians are of good character, c'mon! If I were you, I would try to reason with them, appeal to their better nature. It may mean a trip to Nigeria, because this isn't an issue that's likely to get resolved from a distance. You need to be there in person. At this stage, I wouldn't even consider taking your daughter to Nigeria. Whilst your parents may come to accept her, there's every chance they won't accept her mother, your girlfriend. They could actually refuse to let your daughter return to South Africa, once they "stake a claim" to their grand child. There would be little the mother could do if this happened. They could also see it as a way of keeping you from your Cameroonian girlfriend. Making you choose between your child and the mother. I've seen this happen time after time. If they refuse to accept her, then you're in the unenviable position of getting married without your parent's consent. It may bother you, but left to me, I would still marry the girl and get on with my life. Good luck! |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by Nobody: 3:33pm On Jan 12, 2012 |
Outstrip: I agree whole heartedly. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by ikamefa(f): 10:30pm On Jan 12, 2012 |
horny4u: omo carry go you've said it all |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by agiboma(f): 2:51pm On Jan 17, 2012 |
I say marry the girl if its truly what you want to do. |
| Re: Marry Her And Be Disowned by mutter(f): 5:38pm On Jan 17, 2012 |
Quite honestly I do not see the confusion. Your first responsibility is towards your daughter. If you are confused then you do not care enough because it is your duty to stand to your child and offer her the best. I do not even consider it correct that you have to convince your parents. They owe you an apology when they come back to their senses. |
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