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Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? - Romance - Nairaland

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Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 5:13pm On Jan 19, 2012
I saw a cute 2 yr old boy today. Chances r he may be up for adoption cos his parents and grandparents are considered unfit. Heart strings were pulled.
Wondered what NLanders think.

Unmarried with no children woman with an adopted son:::

(I hope to have my own children by the way.
No fertility issues either.)[color=#770077][/color]

That's sure to drive away any potential suitors.

He's so cute.

Wl appreciate the 9ja take on this.
Pls serious comments.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by 25omega(m): 5:20pm On Jan 19, 2012
sure you can as long as you can prove that you will be financially able to. you also have to prove that you would be emotionally available and fit to adopt a child as a single person. Im sure there are other criteria but the two i know are financial meaning career, home, savings etc emotional meaning caring, mental balance, etc
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Nobody: 5:21pm On Jan 19, 2012
if your mind says do it c'mon do it as long as it is done in a proper way May be you are adopting the future Chiarman or Lady of a company but make sure record is available for it incase
goodluck
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Mynd44: 6:26pm On Jan 19, 2012
I intend to.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 7:11pm On Jan 19, 2012
Thanks for ur reply.

@Mynd_44.
Permit me to ask,
Why would u want to
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Tosinville(m): 7:14pm On Jan 19, 2012
Why not?
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 7:18pm On Jan 19, 2012
@ bandiejay,

What records r u talking about?
Assuming that you mean paperwork, not some illegal baby smuggling / home for unmarried mothers that was rife a few years ago

Definitely, there wl be records. His paternal grandparents r also in contact presently, as he's with fosters. So no underhand dealings going on. Shame his family can't be there for him.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Arosa(m): 7:20pm On Jan 19, 2012
I urge you to, please.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Cuddlemii: 7:21pm On Jan 19, 2012
I can't.

Though, I can help and assist a child like welfare, humanitarian support etc but not adopt whilst unmarried. If I am married, yes I can adopt with the joint consent & support of my hubby.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Mynd44: 7:23pm On Jan 19, 2012
doe-eyed:

Thanks for your reply.

@Mynd_44.
Permit me to ask,
Why would u want to

I don't know why but I have that idea for a long time.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 7:24pm On Jan 19, 2012
@ Tosinville,

Simply asking why a young man would want to adopt a child when he could have his own if he wanted to.
The way guys go on NL, they don't seem to have a lack of offers.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by slimyem: 7:29pm On Jan 19, 2012
i cant only because It might send a wrong message to prospective suitors and peeps i look up to wont probably sign on it.
I can always help from a distance though.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 7:31pm On Jan 19, 2012
@ Cuddlemii,
I understand ur stand. But u need to have seen this little boy, simply so cute.
Knowing his history considering his short time on earth, its mind-baffling. Parents toss him around from friend to friend. Spends most of his time glued to a TV with no interaction. Parents r alcohol n drug abusers. Presently, his older sister's whereabouts is unknown. Wl u wait till marriage to help that little child out of his misery. Such an intelligent cutieee.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 7:35pm On Jan 19, 2012
@ Mynd_44,

What r your reasons though??
I've got friends who either run orphanages or heavily involved in their administration.
So I can understand helping out like others have said.
But why go as far as adopting?  ?
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Tosinville(m): 7:47pm On Jan 19, 2012
I think its really good when you already married with ur own kids for suitors to NOT to think otherwise, the best u can do for now is to always give the infant parents ur financial support for child upbringing.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Nobody: 7:50pm On Jan 19, 2012
Not a good idea! An unmarried lady taking care of a baby she is not "mentally" ready for? You want to do this out of impulse and pity, but the stress and strain i dont think you are ready for! He's just 2! Have you thought of changing diapers, his feeding pattern, your job. . .etc? There's more to a cute baby than catches the eye. . . wink
It's a good idea when you are married. . . very!


Hey, but if you've put every thing into consideration and it's cool by you, fine! smiley
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Tosinville(m): 7:53pm On Jan 19, 2012
Parent are alcohol & drug abuser?eh, you can still adopt the child & always let every suitors know the good reasons why you adopt the child.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 8:10pm On Jan 19, 2012
Thanks guys,

You're right, sexkillz. Need to take in the fact that there wl be 2 of us not just me.
And the consequences thereof.

But he's so cute,, yeah changing diapers r not so cute.
I simply worry about him being tossed from home to home.

The facilities arent simply there to provide support as an interested observer:
otherwise that may have been a suitable alternative.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Nobody: 8:53pm On Jan 19, 2012
doe-eyed:

Thanks guys,

You're right, sexkillz. Need to take in the fact that there wl be 2 of us not just me.
And the consequences thereof.

But he's so cute,, yeah changing diapers r not so cute.
I simply worry about him being tossed from home to home.

The facilities arent simply there to provide support as an interested observer:
otherwise that may have been a suitable alternative.
I know the feeling! But then, that's life. There are some things you have absolutely no control over, just count that sweet innocent cute chubby cuddly little baby boy, as one of those things! Maybe, you could actually monitor and see who finally takes him home, and then support him in your own way. And then, when you have gotten married, and the boy is still been tossed from home to home, then you can intercede! smiley

You have quite a heart!. . . Commendable! smiley
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 8:57pm On Jan 19, 2012
@ sexkillz,

Thank you for both the advice + compliment.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Mynd44: 8:59pm On Jan 19, 2012
doe-eyed:

@ Mynd_44,

What r your reasons though??
I've got friends who either run orphanages or heavily involved in their administration.
So I can understand helping out like others have said.
But why go as far as adopting?  ?
Perhaps because my aunt did after her husband died. But I am not going for a kid below 5
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Nobody: 9:11pm On Jan 19, 2012
Why limit your chances for potential suitors?
You can adopt after u marry.

And try not to do stuff based entirely off present feelings (I know, you're a woman, but try harder). Apply some forethought to your actions.
Adopting a child is not like adopting a puppy. If u realize u need more freedom later you can't just give it away or sell it.

you can "sponsor" the child, but adoption is something else.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Nobody: 9:11pm On Jan 19, 2012
doe-eyed:

@ sexkillz,

Thank you for both the advice + compliment.
You welcome! smiley

**In your bf's voice** Now what the hell were you thinking? angry

Just kidding! cheesy
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Cuddlemii: 9:12pm On Jan 19, 2012
doe-eyed:

@ Cuddlemii,
I understand your stand. But u need to have seen this little boy, simply so cute.
Knowing his history considering his short time on earth, its mind-baffling. Parents toss him around from friend to friend. Spends most of his time glued to a TV with no interaction. Parents r alcohol n drug abusers. Presently, his older sister's whereabouts is unknown. Wl u wait till marriage to help that little child out of his misery. Such an intelligent cutieee.

I will help such an intelligent cutiee without adopting him. Whether you like it or not, those are still his parents. At least his parents are still alive and he is not an orphan.

I can pick him up often, take him out, make sure he feeds well, clothe him, ensure he goes to school and have all the basic things other kids have. I can ensure he sleeps in my place from time to time just to ensure his security. I will also be his confidant, friend & guardian. I can go a step further to see if I can tidy his parents up either by threatening to report them or going an extra mile to help them through an healing process. Its better to unite a family than to take a child away from them, later on they would come for their child and the child would want to return to its real parents later.  Just make him your responsibility.

So just be there for him and make sure you put a smile on his face all the time, I am sure all would be well. At least hope everything would be fine.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 9:18pm On Jan 19, 2012
How did ur aunt cope though
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Mynd44: 9:22pm On Jan 19, 2012
I will take that question as mine. Well she was married and all her kids were in school or NYSC or abroad so coping was not a big deal but in your case, you really have to think hard. And to those who think it will scare away potential suitors, they need to stop think backwards.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 9:26pm On Jan 19, 2012
@ Cuddlemii

The services r already involved. That's why he was taken off his parents n grandparents in the 1st place. There is already an alert out for his older sister who has been declared missing.
I'm not breaking the family up. It's been done by the authorities. I can't stand around n be involved via the foster family (thru whom I knew him). It will be frowned on by the authorities.
You see the dilemma.!!!!!
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 9:29pm On Jan 19, 2012
@ Sexkillz,

Abeg, Wetin is,  what I'll say if the situation was to present itself
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Nobody: 9:35pm On Jan 19, 2012
^^^
Errm, excuse me! Is that supposed to be pidgin english?

Laugh wan finish my fuel o. . . grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Cuddlemii: 9:36pm On Jan 19, 2012
doe-eyed:

@ Cuddlemii

The services r already involved. That's why he was taken off his parents n grandparents in the 1st place. There is already an alert out for his older sister who has been declared missing.
I'm not breaking the family up. It's been done by the authorities. I can't stand around n be involved via the foster family (thru whom I knew him). It will be frowned on by the authorities.
You see the dilemma.!!!!!

Ok good. Do all u can for him then. Best of luck.
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by Mynd44: 9:38pm On Jan 19, 2012
doe-eyed:

@ Sexkillz,

Abeg, Wetin is,  what I'll say if the situation was to present itself
Hilarious
Re: Can U Adopt A Child Whilst Unmarried? by doeeyed: 9:42pm On Jan 19, 2012
@2buff,
I understand the Xmas puppy syndrome.
But the authorities wl b on my back to keep an eye on things. Of course, the legal implications abound.
But to be able to step out n give this child a chance when he could potentially benefit seems like giving up on an awesome opportunity. We read n hear of pple who bemoan their states, leaving us often wondering why nobody stepped in before they became damaged beyond repair.

@ M44,

Following up on what I said earlier, a child over 5 yrs has his or her character set to some degree compared to that of age 2. Still not as dependent as a baby but of a gentler spirit hopefully wt less damage from prevailing circumstances.

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