my very brilliant boyfriend (first class) just failed a professional exam. He is totally shattered now cos he wasnt expecting to fail. As a matter of fact we were expecting him to win a prize as usual (he always wins academic prizes).
He is also sad that he is a disappointment to those who look up to him.
He has refused to contest the result maybe due to fear of victimization.
How do I comfort him and tell him to throw this experience into the past?
I want my baby back!

tell him to go and hunt for money instead of crying like a baby over an exam. . .

He'll get over it. Just show him support and care in the mean time.
He should soon realize that's how life rolls and you don't always get what you want or what you think you deserve.

^ she s spoken

I know the feeling, when one feels like they've let people down. but we all have to fail at one time, what was he expecting? these days I like to look at it from an angle I deem somewhat funny (to me that is), I tell myself "if one lives his life always succeeding, impressing, never f'ing up, one day when he's old, he would look back and discover how boring his life has been"! and I guess we all have to fail once in a while to remember how good it feels to win!
tell him it's just one of lifes trials, and he needs to stage a comeback!

IbroSaunks:

I know the feeling, when one feels like they've let people down. but we all have to fail at one time, what was he expecting? these days I like to look at it from an angle I deem somewhat funny (to me that is), I tell myself "if one lives his life always succeeding, impressing, never f'ing up, one day when he's  old, he would look back and discover how boring his life has been"! and[b] I guess we all have to fail once in a while to remember how good it feels to win![/b]
tell him it's just one of lifes trials, and he needs to stage a comeback!

i love that

Op this isnt about you wanting your baby back. Its about him.

He should retake the exam- end of.

And he can try using a different venue.

1. He needs to stop associating his goals with other people's expectation of him.

2. Perhaps, he was too overconfident and didn't prepare well for the exam. You said he's "brilliant," "he wasn't expecting to fail" and you (his friends and family, I assume) "were expecting him to win a prize as usual." He could've gone in thinking he would ace the exam without giving 100% into the preparation. Something must've gone wrong for him to fail. If he had prepared well, he should not have failed. Just a thought.

3. Just because he failed once does not make him a failure. This was his first time failing. Even if he has failed a couple of times, he would still not be a failure. Many of the great inventions in history were not accomplished on first attempt. He should retake the test. It is not the end. A real winner is someone who has failed and still does not give up. He should not be discouraged and should try again.

nous:

my very brilliant boyfriend (first class) just failed a professional exam. He is totally shattered now cos he wasnt expecting to fail. As a matter of fact we were expecting him to win a prize as usual (he always wins academic prizes).
He is also sad that he is a disappointment to those who look up to him.
He has refused to contest the result maybe due to fear of victimization.
How do I comfort him and tell him to throw this experience into the past?
I want my baby back!

He is no more in Private uni naaaa, he isn't ready for the real world. . . . If u no read, u go FAIL!!!!!

OP tell your boyfriend to relax jare,even the greatest scientists failed so he's not the first to fail an exam, I bin fail my nursery 1 exam too.

Be supportive more than ever before,encourage him to conquer his fear and be there for him.u can even take it upon urself to follow him to his lesson once in a while n also do a bit of topic brush up together. Anytime he wants to b -ve remind him that fallin isn't failure bt remainin there is failure. And remind him of his past feats. With that u re buildin ur relationship wit him as well as helpin him overcome his present challenges.

awww

for one he's an overacheiver so only God knows how he's gonna feel. Demand he contests the reqsults to swell his head small and indicate that your sure the exam board have made a mistake.

you'll get him back he just needs to get over it, and being a man that will take time.

At least he has you there to care for him

It aint OK to date a girl who just don't know how to console a man, check my address on here to see that quote.

IbroSaunks:

I know the feeling, when one feels like they've let people down. but we all have to fail at one time, what was he expecting? these days I like to look at it from an angle I deem somewhat funny (to me that is), I tell myself "if one lives his life always succeeding, impressing, never f'ing up, one day when he's old, he would look back and discover how boring his life has been"! and I guess we all have to fail once in a while to remember how good it feels to win!
tell him it's just one of lifes trials, and he needs to stage a comeback!

edit, then copy/paste dis on his facebook wall, case closed!

He is no more in Private uni naaaa, he isn't
ready for the real world. . . . If u no read, u
go FAIL!!!!!
@kpolli: I dont remember writing anywhere that he attended a private university. He went to a polytechnic and graduated with a distinction before proceeding to the university through direct entry. He graduated as the best student in his department.
He reads to a point that almost affects our relationship.
I am sure you are one of those people who beef private university graduate not because you dont wish to attend a private university but because you cant afford it even in your dream. My word to you today: dont worry, God will provide, ie go beta.

@ every other person: thank you for your advice. He is begining to brighten up.

I guess you would not be needing my advice then

ICAN is not child's play. You cannot approach it the way you approach university work. That is why a lot of first class students fail.

I don't think anyone mentioned ICAN here na

He will be fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dnt be deceived d guy was never brilliant,

^^^
Are you trying to say he bribed his way through school?

exactly,

Na wa o wetin I no go read for nl,poster tell ur bofy to chillax joo over-confident dey run belle.He went in feeling like Fadeyi oloro and he came out with pangolo,listen all u can do is comfort him and encourage himto try again.Tell him to bear in mind "Deres no finality to ability and no end to success.Goodluck!!!!

OP: Just give him a little more punny and he'll be right as rain

hornipipe:

exactly,

Na you talk am ooo

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-850424.0.html

lol @ sexkillz

forget how to use the "modify" button bro?

It is ICAN na. She said professional exam and ICAN result just came out yesterday.

But she did not mentioned ICAN so lets leave it there

@op, if it's an exam of ORACLE/Java's callibre, then your boy isn't as intelligent as you think. I fit throway face if na CISCO. Well, i'm just kidding. Just let him know that failure presents one with the opportunity to begin afresh more intelligently.

Been there before. (Last year actually)
It was difficult. I just tried to remain upbeat and strong and made sure he had the necessary time and tried to plan things to do together that would lift his spirits. The motivation and drive have to come from him.