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My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Chaulay1: 4:12pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
I was very happy when I realized that I was pregnant, though I didn’t initially go for Doctor’s confirmation, I was quite sure even though I was just 3 weeks gone then. I shared the news with my hubby and he also was excited about the news of our very first baby. As the weeks progressed, we decided to go to the clinic for confirmation and it was no longer a surprise when I was confirmed pregnant. At about 7th/8th (2months) weeks, a very observant person could see the changes in me, I was adding a little wait, eating more, bust getting bigger and all that. Well, as for morning sickness, I was quite lucky as I didn’t undergo any stressful pregnancy symptoms. Even throughout , I was quite strong and my colleagues kept guessing whether I was pregnant or not. By week 10, some of my fitted cloths/shirts were getting a bit tight on me. I recall the first shopping towards my pregnancy, myself and my husband went looking for more comfortable clothing and even bought some I expected to wear in 4/5/6th month of pregnancy. At this time, my Doctor told me to start Antenatal at 12th week (3months) and I eagerly waited for this time. Then came the 12th week, I was happy to have gone through the first trimester without stress. On that Saturday, I prepared to attend the first antenatal (in the company of my husband sha). After much question and answer preamble, the time came for me to be scanned. The scan result indicated that the baby was smaller than what it ought to be. I was referred to another test centre recognised for their expertise on scans, there it was also confirmed that the baby is too small for 12 weeks, looks more like 7wks and moreso her heartbeat could not be felt. I was advised to watch the development by coming for scan at regular intervals. On Monday morning at work, I started seeing traces of blood and later in the evening it was coming just like a menstrual flow. On my way from work, my hubby and I visited my Doctor who advised us to abort the baby as it seems it is not growing well from all indications. We refused to buy his suggestion and decided to nurse the pregnancy. The flow continued and by Tuesday night it became very heavy and that night the flow came with serious cramp. I saw hell, the stomach pain was killing and I could not sleep all through. At day break on Wednesday; the flow became very heavy, rushing out as if a tap was let loose. I was rushed to the hospital. After another scan, I was told the baby has been partially aborted and the remains had to be evacuated otherwise I would continue bleeding. That was how I lost the baby at 13th week. Our hope and expection just slipped away like that. I could not go to work for a couple of days and when I resumed, my colleagues started congratulating me. They thought my absence was due to pregnancy/morning sickness thus confirming their suspicion. But then, how could I explain it was a miscarriage? It’s been a week now, |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Nobody: 4:20pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
I am so so sorry for your loss my dear. I cant imagine how you must feel. Tell your collegues the truth, no need hiding it from dem. Just take your time and grieve, you dont have to keep up any appearances. You lost your baby, dont be worried about what pple will say, that is not an issue now |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Nobody: 4:24pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
I am sorry for your loss. You will get pregnant again as for your colleagues its up to you if you want to share or not. I know sometimes colleagues become like family so you may not know where to start from but really the choice to share or not is yours and sharing with them may just make you feel lighter. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Outstrip(f): 4:31pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
I personally would not tell them anything. You were not feeling well so you stayed home. End of story. Don't let this get you down. It does not diminish your worth. You will have babies. Focus on other things. Good luck |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by tessybaby(f): 4:32pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
am sorry about dat just be strong and stya positive in no time u will get pregnant again and keep it till nine months God is always with you |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by ronkebp(f): 4:34pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
My dear, so sorry for your loss.!!!! |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Nobody: 4:41pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
Awwww . . . . it's so sad! I wouldnt worry about your colleagues now if I were you. You should be more concerned about recovering from your loss. God is your strenght! |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by ada24: 5:40pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
So sorry for your loss. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by 2mch(m): 6:17pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by soapdish(f): 7:25pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
I'm sorry for your loss. Cheer up you will get pregnant again in no time. A piece of advice though, when next you are preggy,see a gynea earlier say from the time you suspect you might be pregnant. God is your strenght. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Outstrip(f): 7:37pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
2mch: I know you are trying to help but I don't think she has gotten to the stage of reading about infertility. She is not infertile. She most likely does not need any medical intervention. I wanted to send a PM but it is not enabled on this forum. I am only saying it because I am sure she is already considering going through unnesasary medical procedures and I doubt that she needs to. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by 2mch(m): 8:54pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
Outstrip: So you mean all those other women are infertile? That seems like a more adequate medium for her to meet people who have been where she is. She will be better advised there. Madam, look at that link and you never know what you can learn and not learn to do. Cheers. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by slimyem: 10:10pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
^^hello? She only needed to pour out her pain and have people comfort her on here. She didnt say she has a problem. Respect that! 1 Like |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by 2mch(m): 10:23pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
slimyem: Hello? And who are you? . If you have no comment or nothing to contribute. skip my posts. . OP 2mch: |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by erimma86(f): 11:30pm On Feb 03, 2012 |
@ chaulay 1,im deeply sorry,well its a painful thing ull surely take in again,my wife was a victim , was very paainful,u nevr believe d news,d fun of going for scaanning,all turned zero,d joy of being a fada,but dear take heart,ullmsurely take in again and avoid much stress,ask ur doctor d best lying position,use q stool in d bathroom,avoid bikes and take lots of fruits and once u notice ur heavy see ur doctor,my wife 5 mths pregnant and i dnt allow her do ny tedious job and pleaase u go to market dont over burden ur cf wit loads maadam,ull surely overcome.aand pls see aa gud gynacolosst gud nit |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by femmy2010(m): 7:57am On Feb 04, 2012 |
@Poster, all would be well,believe. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by slimyem: 10:02am On Feb 04, 2012 |
2mch:i'm a member of this forum like yourself and if i dont agree with your opinion,i'm free to point out what i think. Deal with it! |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by ipio(f): 12:29pm On Feb 04, 2012 |
So sori 4 ur loss. It's well & u'll smile again. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by ada85: 2:39pm On Feb 04, 2012 |
@chaulay,m so sorry for your loss.your expectations and all.But one thing is for sure,u'll surely take in again.don't b anxious.the miscarriage wasn't your fault in any way.the fact is that the 1st trimester(1st 12weeks)is the most sensitive part of pregnancy and that's when miscarriages are more commonthats why some GP's advise patients not to share the Ǧ☺☺ϑ news2every one till that stage is over and a scan has been done.In your next pregnancy.make sure u don't stress your self and get registered@an antenatal clinic as early as 6weeks.As for your colleagues,there's no need You hiding the truth from them.they ought to understand and u don't owe them anything.just tell them the truth and get it over with.I wish u all the best. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by babydol: 4:24pm On Feb 04, 2012 |
@Chaulay, I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand what you have been through and I pray that Almighty God will give you and your husband strength to pull through. I said I understand because I have gone through that same experience three times all at second trimesters. I won't wish it on an enemy as it is very emotional. But by the grace of God today, I can joyful share that I am a mother to a beautiful baby boy after four years of ups and down. I can write pages and pages of what those times were. I will encourage you to be strong, as this time will pass. Be patient, don't entertain fear (it easier said but try) and be positive. Please note this that whatever can't kill you, should make you stronger. Finally, you don't owe anyone explanation if you don't want to discuss the matter. If you are someone like me that don't like people feeling sorry for you, then you can keep it to yourself. But if your colleagues are understanding and won't start asking too much question, then you can share it with the condition that you won't like it to be a subject of too much discussion and you not going through many details. My prayer is that God will answer you soon. Be strong and be of good courage. God bless. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by victorazy(m): 5:20pm On Feb 04, 2012 |
Sorry |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Ivynwa(f): 10:39pm On Feb 04, 2012 |
Accept my sympathy dearie, you will definitely get pregnant again. It will be nice to share ideas with other women and be sure that you were not doing some things you were supposed to go easy on while pregnant like wearing high heels, pounding things in mortar, rough rides in roads with bumps and potholes etc. Some women have had miscarriages through such. Do take care of yourself while chilling from it all and remember the need for you to fortify yourself with folic acid (through vit c tablets and meals that contain spinach etc) when you do decide to make a go at it again. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by maclatunji: 11:39am On Feb 05, 2012 |
OP, sorry about the loss. It is okay to grieve over it, but you need to take positive steps to maintain good health and avoid such in the future. Obey your doctor's orders on healing and don't worry your mind. You don't have to tell anybody at work anything except for official purposes. If your colleagues ask, tell them point-blank you lost the baby. Accept moderate condolences and switly move-on. I hope you are not freezing your husband out, let him support you as it will only make your bond stronger. Try and be positive because unfortunately what happened to you happens to many many women as well. God willing you will bear your children and enjoy the joys of motherhood. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Chaulay1: 2:16pm On Feb 05, 2012 |
Thanks everyone for your comforting words. Yes, I am trying to be strong and be positive despite the incident. @babydol, tanks for sharing your experience. I believe God knows best. Tank u all. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by maclatunji: 3:32pm On Feb 05, 2012 |
^You are welcome! |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by blank(f): 3:37pm On Feb 06, 2012 |
God is your strength. You will pull through and have as many kids as you desire. Continue to be strong. Don't give a sh*t what your colleagues think. I had a friend that had 3 miscarriages. She got married about 18months ago. Everyone kept asking her what she did as a young girl that God will punish her like this. She has the most sunny personality i know. She would just brush off their criticisms and move on. I noticed that it was mostly her unmarried friends (ex now) and colleagues that asked such st*pid questions. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by chioma134: 4:55pm On Feb 06, 2012 |
Poster,I'm so sorry about ur loss. God will give u d grace to 4get. I saw my menses at 5 weeks after testing positive to pregnancy. It was a Sunday, n I cried so much in church dt my husband asked why I was crying like someone bereaved. I told him I was bereaved;I'd just lost my baby. God saw my tears,n I conceived d next month. For everyone who has gone thru dt,u'll yet smile again in Jesus' name. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by mutter(f): 12:24pm On Feb 07, 2012 |
Chauley, so sorry to hear about your loss. What you had is called a "missed abortion". The heart just stops beating and yet there are no signs that something is amiss. The best thing is to have a d and c done because eventually after some weeks the heavy bleeding and cramps come and you end up having to get one done. There is nothing you did wrong and neither could you have prevented it. I have had three consecutive missed abortions in the past it is traumatic but I still went on to have healthy babies without complications. God is your strength. Take care of yourself. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by mutter(f): 4:52pm On Feb 09, 2012 |
What Makes A Mother I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today I asked "What makes a Mother?" And I know I heard him say A Mother has a baby This we know is true But, God, can you be a mother When your baby's not with you? Yes, you can he replied With confidence in his voice I give many women babies When they leave it is not their choice Some I send for a lifetime And others for the day And some I send to feel your womb But there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this God I want my baby here He took a breath and cleared his throat And then I saw a tear I wish I could show you What your child is doing today If you could see your child smile With other children and say "We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear My mommy loved me so much I got to come straight here I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me I learned my lessons very quickly My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy oh so much But I visit her each day When she goes to sleep On her pillow is where I lay I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear Mommy don't be sad today I'm your baby and I am here" So you see my dear sweet one Your children are okay Your babies are here in My home And this is where they'll stay They'll wait for you with Me Until your lessons are through And on the day you come home they'll be at the gates for you So now you see What makes a Mother It's the feeling in your heart It's the love you had so much of Right from the very start Though some on earth May not realize Until their time is done Remember all the love you have And know that you are A Special Mom 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Nobody: 6:18pm On Feb 09, 2012 |
Sorry for your loss, God will definitely compensate you. I know a lady who had a miscarriage after going through serious morning sickness. Guess what, she got pregnant again n gave birth to twins. 1 Like |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by ryom(m): 7:20pm On Feb 09, 2012 |
@Poster- please take heart and be not discouraged. Often when pregnancy is lost its nature's way of indicating something may have been badly wrong (for example congenital anomaly). So please do not worry much, as long as there is life, there is hope. Just a brief advice- as this is a 2nd trimester loss, do see a gynaecologist next time you are pregnant especially to exclude cervical incompetence. |
Re: My Story- I Came, I Saw And How It Ended by Tobiegal(f): 11:11am On Feb 10, 2012 |
So sorry for your loss, I have a colleague who also suffered d same thing, 3 different times, and each time, she bounced back even stronger n more determined. She has a baby girl now, just slightly over a year old, wen she took in, she was simply on bed rest for d better part of d pregnancy, And despite all d ups n down, even during her preg. stages in d hosiptal, she pulled thrugh. You also will pull true ijn. Remain strong. |
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