I made a post in my blog concerning the lack of emotion most men show. The question is, why are we men so ashamed to show our emotions. Is it because we're scared of being called gay when we hug our fellow man, kiss his cheek etc or do we just . Just wondering.

azuka see thers no two ways about it. its only in this day and age when everyone thinks like americans that wherever u go u have to watch ur actions cos the next person to u might think different of u. tell me when all we were growing up in naija was there ever a question about giving a guys a hug et all

@zahy are u afraid to show ur emotions?

No -- I do show my emotions all the time but not to the extent of kissing or hugging for long periods of time. I have to say I envy you girls -- your relationships with each other tend to be very close. With us boys, we try to keep it down so that we aren't called "gay."

haha you can always become a gurl
i think that men show their emotions when they really have to, u know when it matters

Definitely not! No offense intended but I wouldn't like to be a girl for lots of reasons. Let's get back to what we were talking about:

Glad you think men do show emotion. Any other opinions out there about men's relations with fellow men?

thats just the nature of men, God made them that way

i like how guys are, honestly, i like hanging out with guys more because they talk about each other
and they dont get mad.crack jokes about each other, and even when they get mad , they cool the next day, but women noooo, our stories are different,

exactly

. . . .they talk about each other
and they don't get mad.crack jokes about each other, and even when they get mad , they cool the next day, but women noooo, our stories are different,

That's a bit true but we men are very good at hiding our feelings -- you don't want to look petty so you hide your emotions by joking. From time to time the real [bad] feelings you have for the other guy surface. Anybody concurs?

its good ya'll hide ya emotions sometimes
i dont want a man who show their emotions always, thats what makes a man,

yeah, the only time we are allowed to show emotions is in sports, and when u trying to land a chick

I'll confess I'm completely inscrutable and a demented introvert so you always see me with the same expression. I'm used to studying human nature. I just started this topic [and will start others] to explore some "normal" behavior humans exhibit -- why is it normal, etc. Call me crazy but I'm also curious.

Speaking of emotions I hardly ever show my emotions to anyone -- boy or girl [not even when I'm trying to land one -- and sorry, I hate sports].

Well, I am emotional in a sexy, sexy way!

Seun:

Well, I am emotional in a sexy, sexy way!

Bah. No self-promotion here, Seun!!

From TFA, I presume by emotional you mean physical contact with other men. Look, I'm as modern a man as you're likely to find. I'm heterosexual, and that kind of behaviour, like you said on your blog, just screams gay. Sure if I haven't seen a friend for a while I could hug him, but it's a BIG, STRONG, MANLY hug, y'know? Kissing another man? Totally gay.

Disclaimer: To all the gay people in the house, I'm cool with you guys o! Love you!! Peace!

i beg to disagree! Boys are farrrrrrrrrr closer to each other than girls. Girls spend more time talking to each other sure but guys do more of soul to soul discussions while girls simply gossip! Not all sha

And as per men being emotional, abeg come experience emotions for my end! i dey cry well well if anything hurts me and that does not make me any less than a man. i cry when i shld and hug when i want to!

Men have blood flowing in their veins and therefore are just as emotional as the women. The difference is that women tend to show their emotions more than men. A lot of men erroneously believe it is better to hold it in. Most men think it is a sign of weakness to show emotions like crying when something bad happens. A man will prefer to be referred to as a warrior ( hard guy) rather than as soft and emotional. If you want to see how emotional men (Nigerian) can be go watch a soccer match with a group of guys and you will see what I mean.

Hey people, please read the post in the blog he's referring to. He's not talking about crying.
OK, for everyone's benefit,
From TFA (any /. reaers here?)

I guess it’s unconscious but I tend to think women do have closer closer friendships than we men seem to have — for example, there’s absolutely “nothing” wrong with a woman comforting her fellow woman by holding her in her arms. How many men have you seen hug for long periods of time — or kiss each other’s cheek? I’m sure you’d presume they were homos.

I guess men don't show their emotions in that respect
They have their own thing, you know the dap, and society(well where I am,at least)it's frowned on even though I think men have way better relationships with their friends than the females though, there's always that silent competiton and envy going on with the ladies. I've always envied the way Men make friends so easily whereas with the ladies we must study character first before we even attempt a conversation.


Seun na wa ooh! who told you there was anything sexy about you?lol just joking

I have to say I envy you girls -- your relationships with each other tend to be very close.

Hmmm, don't be fooled! Women entertain too much bs and that is the reason why so many friendships sour. There's always something- - drama, drama, drama for no reason. Mind you, I'm speaking of the immature ones who have yet to understand the true meaning of friendship.

_{notice the bold faced words}<<<<<hard to find these days

I wonder why you girls are so eager to condemn yourselves. I like girls [or I won't be normal  ].

I'm very sure if my post had featured something like "Why do girls never form true friendships and are such pretenders?" there'd be a salvo of woman-ammo directed at me as mamaput, hot-angel,  outkast and all the ladies in the house come to defend the woman-pride. Yet you insinuate exactly that. Women? 

That's what separates the girls from the women! I have no reason to be artificial--what I say is what I mean. Condemnation, never that- - it's the TRUTH!

Keep living young man and you will see

Besides, I never said "true friendships" could not be formed.

Note:

Mind you, I'm speaking of the immature ones who have yet to understand the true meaning of friendship.

notice the bold faced words<<<<<hard to find these days

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^read the bold italicized words^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Coz we weren't built that way.

I don't know why men aren't emotional. . .but about a year ago I read this academic paper/book excerpt and it was about how some psychologists think that men use women as their emotional "outlet". . .that's prolly not the right word for it but the thought was that when (some) men can't show emotions, they go to women who can. For example, if a man is disrespected at work and feels helpless the "natural" reaction might be to cry, but instead of doing that, he'll go home and treat his wife/gf like shit and she'll feel helpless and eventually start crying and will say something like "Why are you acting this way? I just want to make you happy. . .tell me how. . ." By her being explicit w/ her helplessness and tears his feelins can evaporate or lessen. The book explained it better than I have.

But stoic men can hurt women or significant others w/ their stoicism. I mean when you're trying to be *real* w/ someone and they refuse to "crack" or let you in, what are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to feel? Most of the time, women turn their feelings of isolation/failure in on themselves, at least for a little while. . . but, when it comes to suffering, a little while feels like a lifetime. Feel me?

Zahymaka:

I wonder why you girls are so eager to condemn yourselves. I like girls [or I won't be normal ].

I'm very sure if my post had featured something like "Why do girls never form true friendships and are such pretenders?" there'd be a salvo of woman-ammo directed at me as mamaput, hot-angel, outkast and all the ladies in the house come to defend the woman-pride. Yet you insinuate exactly that. Women?

Very astute observation. I'm impressed. But, don't be fooled there are sisterhoods among us. What can I say? As the Queen of Denmark once said, "Happy ppl have no story to tell" so you don't hear about any of the good things btw women only the drama. I once knew this beautiful young woman (not well) and somedays she was smile-y and nice and the other days she'd have a smile that would scare the Devil. She once said, "See that's why I don't Bleep w/ bitches, too much drama!" and true to her words drama always found her. What I mean is, the storm we prepare for, always comes. If you look for the sisterhood "dramatic" ppl will think you're "corny" and keep moving, thereby leaving you alone, etc. But exclusivity is also the key. If Jesus only had 12 disciples, why would a girl have 15 "best friends"?

can someone please define the word "emotional"? i don't like sterotypes and i like being me. hugs are something i scarcely do because i think its a white man's thing which we are just adapting. as for crying - i have done so once this year and again it depends on the circumstances and environment. i think we africans originally because of our culture and astute moral values did not engage in such sentimental expressions.

men are more emotional than women they just learn to hide it better

Seun:

Well, I am emotional in a sexy, sexy way!

give me a break

I think Men are more practical than emotional.
if i am in pain will crying stop it?
If i have not seen my buddy for some time why hug him 4 an hour when we could use the time to catch up on missed bottles!

Of a truth i tell you men don't usually express themselves.
But the occassional hug here ahd there some can give moi
inclusive but a kiss? Naw! We aint French men! And it's not
traditional.
Maybe, as the years roll by, our next generation can do them
hugging and kissing without people necessarily feeling the guys
are gay.

because when it comes down to it, guys in this society have to always be in control.

A woman can cry after not getting a promotion, and still get it the next year. If coworkers saw a guy crying. . . . hahahaha. . he's just dead-ended himself.

Men are supposed to be reasonable - try explaining to a guy why exactly he should cry over a broken nail. . . it totally does not make any sense.

i'll leave this for now