Mollytee:

Thanks Nairaland Forum for your contributions so far .
Few tried to make a joke out of a depressing life term sentence of guilt and despair . I do appreciate the mentality and thinking of people who think 29 years is so long ago to be harbouring hate and grudge over your abuser . So also the group that think that women should calm down and enjoy a violation section .It is always a matter of free speech in a free country . Thanks for your contributions so far .Just an update after I sent the email to my abuser , He fired back an SMS to me that " Look ,this daughter of Darkness, the good Lord will surely destroy your evil spirit because i don't know what you are talking about .You are a 419 and you will soon understand that you are dealing with top brass military man( Sic, funny this low level street wise crack head never had the intelligence or ability of going to military academy . It is just a ruse ) I never had any contact with anyone like you ever in my life "

After that message I decided to contact another elderly person that worked with us at same time called PO . He made a call to him and ask him did you say you never know Miss TF ? He then opened up to this man and confessed that Yeas he did it . But the man should just keep on begging me and my husband for forgiveness . I'm confuse by this bipolar dual line of action by this evil man is taken . He is confrontational with me and he is sending emisary for forgiveness in the other .

dayokanu:

OP,

let his family and circle of friends know what he did 29yrs ago

ronkebp:

I really don't believe in revenge sometimes, but i won't lie, revenge is sweet in a case like this.

@ Poster, what do you want to do now, do you want justice or what


Because if you do, just organize guys that will trail him, get nice hookers about 10, look for a field and let them r/a/p/e him too on the bare floor without condom. then it is ''checkmate''.

Real person: Dear Poster,

I read your letter with keen interest. I will like to share my own story as well. I have a bad past... I have molested girls in my student days. We did it for fun and for 'rep' . We never knew the damage we were causing to these girls lives or infact there was no consequences as other people have stated. the girls just kept quiet. Now that I’m older and live in abroad, I now know that the actions i took were barbaric and i alongside other guys should have been banged up. i know it is not an acceptable defence but we did not know what we were doing: we thought if girls said NO they really meant Yes. On my own part, it is impossible to apologise to every girl i molested but i have sought forgiveness from God and now I’m guilt free. Now when i visit Nigeria, i talk to young boys on how to grow into respectable men. We made mistakes but they don’t have to follow the same path. When i look back at the things i did as a young boy: stealing parent's money, drink-driving, trying to get girls drunk so we can get into their pants etc i realise God is indeed merciful.
On your ordeal, what you need is closure. Either by approaching him to let him know the hurt he caused 29yrs ago. You may be surprised that he may even be a Pastor of a church now!. But my advice is that your closure should come from walking closer to God.

To our sisters that have been molested by young men (Paedophiles not included), i apologise on our behalf, we did not know the consequences of our actions. Young men need to be educated on these issues

Real person: Dear Poster,

I read your letter with keen interest. I will like to share my own story as well. I have a bad past... I have molested girls in my student days. We did it for fun and for 'rep' . We never knew the damage we were causing to these girls lives or infact there was no consequences as other people have stated. the girls just kept quiet. Now that I’m older and live in abroad, I now know that the actions i took were barbaric and i alongside other guys should have been banged up. i know it is not an acceptable defence but we did not know what we were doing: we thought if girls said NO they really meant Yes. On my own part, it is impossible to apologise to every girl i molested but i have sought forgiveness from God and now I’m guilt free. Now when i visit Nigeria, i talk to young boys on how to grow into respectable men. We made mistakes but they don’t have to follow the same path. When i look back at the things i did as a young boy: stealing parent's money, drink-driving, trying to get girls drunk so we can get into their pants etc i realise God is indeed merciful.
On your ordeal, what you need is closure. Either by approaching him to let him know the hurt he caused 29yrs ago. You may be surprised that he may even be a Pastor of a church now!. But my advice is that your closure should come from walking closer to God.

To our sisters that have been molested by young men (Paedophiles not included), i apologise on our behalf, we did not know the consequences of our actions. Young men need to be educated on these issues

Mollytee:
Below is the Email I wrote to the person who violated me 29 years ago .

Dear G
Finally I was able to track you down Thanks to facebook .
You will never believe this letter is coming your way because you seem to have planned and executed a perfect crime and got away with it for 29 years . But the victim ( name witheld ) still remember it vividly like yesterday . Cast your mind mind back to 12.30am Friday October 7th 1983 and here is my reflection of the day .
" I was a virgin till I was about 18. the reason was that in my thinking , I will only loose my virginity to the one I marry, but alas, when I finished high school, I got a freelance job at OSRC and dated a guy called (KA) I told him I was a virgin and he was proud of it and boasted about it with his friends. One night , As we finished night shift, one of his friends G O ( G- funk ) Who was then 32 year old Station DJ and my friend's boyfriend offered to take me home and He violated me on the way. It changed things for me for good " I could not tell anyone as people would asked what was I doing in his car . It would become a cultural embarrassment and a victim would be victimized more and more and called name like slut " There is the pervasive culture of silence on issue of girls intimate abuse by the strong , powerful and well connected elite in Nigeria

You GO fall in the category of the well connected that abuses young and innocent girls . Even though you did not have any personal achievement or qualification at working in OSRC but you have a well connected uncle

Congratulations on getting away with violation .I have been told that you said it was consensual and that you were really drunk and this was your excuse. You are only lucky that Nigeria is so behind the times and that the criminal justice system doesn't work to make person like you to go to jail .

We all know what happened. You lured me away from my friends by pretending that you are giving me a ride after work at OSRC, You convinced me to get into your car. You knew that you were going to Be Intimate with me whether I wanted it or not. because It would be a trophy for you to have sex with a virgin . You brutalised me ,savaged my body so much that I couldn't sit down for days without pain. You bruised me . You did all this while I begged you to stop over and over again. You knew you were hurting me, in fact the more you hurt me the more excited you got. I pulled a muscle in my pelvis trying to get away from you so don't pretend that I wanted it.
I tried to get you off me but It's your time of madness and your bruit force prevails .
Remember when you stopped for a second after ages of begging and looking straight into your eyes , you just pushed me back down on on the ground and continue your evil did.
You knew exactly what you were doing. Tell me, how is it that you are able to leave with this guilt over this years without seeking atonement of your transgressions ?
You have no idea the pain you have caused me, my family and friends.Who has to tolerate my unstable mind set for 29 years.You killed my joy ,my happiness and you simply killed my soul that day


I hope one day you are in fear for your life, then will you have some idea of what it was like for me that night . You should face me and explain yourself. You should face your coward action You treated me like I wasn't even human, you wouldn't treat an animal the way you treated me , but it's you that isn't human, I'm is more of a person than you will ever be.

You may think that you have gotten away with it but someday it will come back on you ten fold and you will get what you deserve to be in jail . I'm not afraid of you again and your puerile connection . You can not hurt me anymore.