dear let the child see the dad.it wont take away your love for the child or the childs love for you either.its his seed and son.the earlier,the better too.

penfold:

people! don't you think one should be a little bit cautious before commenting or advising in this kind of case? forget about the sentiments and all o!!

there are some questions in my mind begging for answers, what is the father's current state now, is it that he is now comfortable and regretting his actions (or inaction) of the years past now wants to make things right? or is it that he is now married and finding it difficult to have a child now feels compelled to claim his child.

Are you sure the guy is not gay, a user, or a general layabout who just wants to use the child as a leverage to try and get back into your life so as to drain you? its good to let the child know his father some had said but the truth is after all things considered, will the boy be better off after the experience.
After all, like the custody courts will say, the child's interest is paramount!!!

That's exactly what I was thinking when I stated for her to be cautious when letting him see the child. I just didn't want to sound harsh or mean about the father whom we don't know his motives. You raised some good points about his possible motives; especially the one about not being able to have a child of his own with another woman. Now, if that's the case, it would wrong and selfish of him to try to claim the child. Like I said before my sister, be cautious and don't let your guards down. good luck. Peace!

The man doesnt suddenly love the child, he's driven by a sense of shame (after he rejected what should have been accepted, he now finds he needs it) or trying to feed his ego ("Me too I have a male child". Let the kid grow up to be a man himself, then he can decide. Parents (especially those in the Nigerian culture) usually make poor decisions when we think we are acting in the child's best psychological interests.

yes.no matter what

Well, a humans it's not going to be easy realising such child to someone who has not been behaving as a caring father, but the ultimate is that the child has a father and he is favored by God to be the one. You will be left with no choice than to release the child for him except if you dont want to care how the child feels without knowing or feeling his father' presence.

If you have concluded to release the child for him, you need to know inner reason for his passion for his child at this moment.

* is his Present wife unable to give him what you gave him?
* Is he just realising his mistakes?
* His decision to accept his child, is it genuine?

I hope it is not for a negative reason. God you to make a good decision.

Hi dear,

I think you should introduce your son to his father and then let the child decide if he wants to build a relationship with his dad or not.

You are doing very well in letting them see each other and eventually knowing each other!! bravoooo!!!

But what's all this crucify him campaign here all about? have we heard from him? or do we know the real story about the two of them? some women even deny some fathers the chance of seeing their kids and after blame them for not being in their kids life.

the kid has nothing to do with the quarrel of the parents and i think it's time to!! in favour of your son and not yourself regarding their meeting of each other and don't be surprised the man as well might habour same feelings for you

i can not condemn any party until i hear from both sides because i have seen things in this life

HAPPY MEETING FOR THE TWO

If your son ask for his father, yeah u should introduce him, he has every right to know who his father his

I am in these shoes too.

Got a girl pregnant when I have my girlfriend with me. But I remain committed to take care of the child to my best. Even with the glaring issues. Baby-mother is really giving me a hard time. But this does not deter me. We have occassional fights that have now turned to regular fire-spitting. I try to remain calm though.

Now she says she needs her space and I need not come see my son anymore! Didn't think she'd really live up her threat. I stayed away for about 4 days and went over to see my son. But alas, I was not let in through the door!!! I couldnt believe it!

Anyway, I'm trying to live with my new situation and move on with my life.

I'm very devasted!