Kids can be very annoying.

You all say well...but children are wonderful and chèerful...but can b funny sometime in their character..my 1 yrs plus babe did sometin dat i learnt a lesson of my life..we left him for a week+wit a family friend and when we came back my child attitude&character change 2ward us..1st he refuse 2 accept food frm her mum but he will accept food frm her mum friend.so+it+was by little smark by her mum that he adjust and now he accept food frm her..but it nt a easy tin o.

perhaps your were a brat @ his age, jst ask ur mama how u turned good dat may help. Cos monkies dont give birth to sheep

@OP, Saw this post just before seeing yours and felt i should share with you. I'll post the link soon. It's something from Bible Gateway and i hope it helps lighten the situation.


March 15, 2012

I Don't Want to Raise a Good Child
Lysa TerKeurst

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6 (NIV 1984)

My daughter, Hope, is a senior this year. And she decided her senior year should be adventurous and a little out of the "normal" box. A lot out of the box actually.

She withdrew from traditional school. Applied with the state to homeschool. Enrolled in online college courses that would allow her to get both high school and college credit simultaneously. And planned to spend the month of January serving in Nicaragua doing missions.

This didn't surprise me really. Hope has always liked charting her own course. This thrills me now. But it didn't thrill me so much in the early years of raising this strong-spirited child.

When she was really little I was scared to death I was the world's worst mom, because Hope was never one to be contained. And I honestly thought all her extra tenacity was a sign of my poor mothering.

One day I took her to the mall to meet several of my friends with toddlers to grab lunch. All of their kids sat quietly eating cheerios in their strollers. They shined their halos and quoted Bible verses and used tissues to wipe their notes.

Not Hope.

She was infuriated by my insistence she stay in her stroller. So, when I turned away for a split second to place our lunch order, she wiggled free. She stripped off all her clothes. She ran across the food court. And jumped in the fountain in the center of the mall.

Really, nothing makes the mother of a toddler feel more incapable than seeing her naked child splashing in the mall fountain. Except maybe that toddler refusing to get out and said mother having to also get into the fountain.

I cried all the way home.

Not because of what she'd done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.

I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good.

But God seemed so slow to answer those prayers. So, over the years, I changed my prayer. "God help me to raise Hope to be who You want her to be." Emphasis on, "God HELP ME!"

I think I changed my prayers for her because God started to change my heart. I sensed He had a different plan in mind for my mothering of Hope.

Maybe God's goal wasn't for me to raise a good rule-following child. God's goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along.

Today's key verse reminds us we are training children so that when they are old they will not turn away from Biblical principles, but rather implement them in their life-long pursuit of God. Remember, the things that might aggravate you about your child today, might be the very things when matured that make them great for God's kingdom tomorrow.

I've certainly seen this in raising Hope.

I don't know what mama needs to hear this today. But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with three simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:

1. Don't take too much credit for their good.
2. Don't take too much credit for their bad.
3. Don't try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.

@op
You neglect the times the boy makes you so happy abi?as a matter of fact dere is no dull moment with kids if yu handle them well except they are asllep. I love them so much especially from that age range.

To handle his excessess is very simple beat him hard when he misbehaves afterall the Bible says "spare the rod and spoil the child"after which you pet and explain why you. Had to beat him becos you love him so much. Who says kids don't know who loves them,even animals know.

@OP
Well as someone who has a wonderful boy of the same age and a wife who complain all the time about how the boy is too much to handle for her, I can relate to your concerns.
I will tell you what I tell my wife on how to handle him and you will see a change.
Control the urge to smack him at will.
This would not make him change but in my opinion could do more damage than good. Also you don't want to raise a child that only knows how to communicate by hitting someone. It will also make him want to always “annoy” you and you will end up smacking him the more which make you more frustrated.
Listen to him
We always make the mistake that kids at this age do not have opinions .My observation is that they do and they want to be listened to. This does not mean you will do what they ask but it means you are willing to listen to them and doing this would make them communicate more with you rather than be “difficult”.
Be truthful
If something is not possible let him know and if possible explain why. Their attention span is very short and he may have forgotten your previous explanation. Just repeat the same explanation again and he will “understand” Do not get into the habit of lying to him.
Most importantly, be assertive
Though you communicate with him, he is still your son not your friend and when he is out of line, assertively tell him no when it is needed and he will fall in line. Children this age know how to sense weakness on the part of the parent and they always try to push the envelope. Be friendly with him but at the same time firm.
Reward him when he does something right
Try to commend him when he does something right and call him out when he does wrong.
Please don’t get frustrated with your child he is God gift to you and all the cute kids people talk about are not better than your own son. Just be patient with him, this is part of development for him.
Wish you the best of luck.

eremy: How can I feel good about a child that constantly misbehaves and annoys me? He is a boy and will turn 4 in August this year. Have any experiences that will be of help?

Only serious minded contributions are needed please.

Thanks all.

Just take things easy with him. He's still a kid and he knows nothing. Remember that you might have been more troublesome when you were like him. So, try deriving fun in everything he does, even those things you think are crazy and you'll form a better perception of him.

You deserve what you are getting.

You sound like a funky parent.

My child or even nephews will talk back to me when I am disciplining them? She ni ma for ori da nu (I would break his/her head).

You are setting the trend that will give you trouble in future. Your type plenty for UK. Raising kids one can not help but have a little disdain for.

I don't do funky parenting.

Jawn: Dont warn him at all, the best and last solution is pouring hot water on him while he is asleep.

Shuoo!

op. Sometimes it could be frustrating trying to handle a very disobedient child. I must tell you it requires very stern measure. I once visited a friend who has a girl of about 4yrs with wild wild attitude and i advised the mother to allow me stay with the girl for sometimes. First she would never go back on whatever she wanted eg. she must open d door for visitors and where it was opened by someone else, the visitor wd either go out and come in or there wont be peace. And i said no! the first day i dealt with her, i opened the door for my visitor and she cried like hell, throwing everything away and i got angry and she got the smacking of her life. I insisted she should never open door for a visitor without my permission. Within 1 month, her mother was asking how i was able to get her right and today she is my foster daughter.

You can take him to a trusted friend for sometime and believe me he wd come back better, sometimes such children undermine parents cos of initial over pampering. 2. Don't let your child get used to one pattern of punishment or your reaction. Above all I dont know your religion but take him to children's fellowship and insist he participate fully.

just pray and follow the good advise

remember we are talking about old folks[ reincarnated back] way way wiser than when u were their age. So no baby issue here, treat them as mature person or soon as early as 11-year-old will be challenging ur decisions if not fighting u

well...i normally do not like commenting on issues but this is like my field. just to add to whats been said already.
i teach kids(i wont say im an expert but at least iv got some years of experience.
kids that age usually learn better and replicates what they see rather than what they hear. worse still, as a friend of mind puts it, they tend to hear from only the second word in evry sentence(command0 issued at them..example "dont go out"...they only hear "go out"..
it helps to address them by their names...and like we all know, our names are the sweetest word in the english dictionary, thus even when u are very angry, u may sternly pronounce all other words but do not forget to call his name with some respectful tone.
i also tell people that kids understand times if they see examples. for example, if ur always asking ur child to go read his books(im talking bout children generally now), and they never see u do some reading, it will be one herculian task to get them to do same.
no method works as a blanket solution for all kids..thus u'ld have to find out what works for ur child..
again, kids are angels. be Firm but Patient..(i work with kids whose parents confess that they dont have the patience to go at that speed).
might not be exciting now, but keep at it, and it'll definitely pay off.

I advice that u take it easy with ur son. He's just 4yrs old and that's still a small boy. Here kids start school at 3yrs so u should undstd this is the right time to mould him. Smack him when u need to, talk and frown also when the need arises. But u can't expect him to know when and when not to do thgs...He's just a child.

I pray the good Lord grants u the wisdom to train ur child and also the patience. My son is just 17mths and he already knows when i'm angry and if he still persists, i spank him (even though his dad doesn't like that). At the end of the day, a spoilt child would be his mother's headache while a brilliant child is trully the father's (yoruba culture).

Pro 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly. (KJV)

Pro 20:30 Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways. (GNB)

Pro 20:30 A good thrashing purges evil; punishment goes deep within us. (MSG)

Pro 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. (KJV)

Pro 13:24 If you don't punish your children, you don't love them. If you do love them, you will correct them. (GNB)

Pro 13:24 A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them. (GNB)

In implementing, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. that is a humble and honest heart. it will help you control your temper. I am (was) hot tempered. i needed that. i once spanked my son so hard i nearly wounded him.

God Bless!

I think it has to do with understanding and early communication,I have a two and half year old daughter. my wife complains of her being stubborn,spank her and shout at her but I dont do any of those but my daughter knows when I say stop and mean it.
I use my eyes and fingers to send any message across to her and she doesnt hesitate
You dont beat a child to correct him as beating a child is direct entry to waywardness,try to understand him then develop a better way of transmitting your message to him but never apply force.
you should start now because children build thier characteristic partern from the of three and your son is already four,its race against time but with patient you can tame him
Good luck.

I think it has to do with understanding and early communication,I have a two and half year old daughter. my wife complains of her being stubborn,spank her and shout at her but I dont do any of those but my daughter knows when I say stop and mean it.
I use my eyes and fingers to send any message across to her and she doesnt hesitate
You dont beat a child to correct him as beating a child is direct entry to waywardness,try to understand him then develop a better way of transmitting your message to him but never apply force.
you should start now because children build thier characteristic partern from the of three and your son is already four,its race against time but with patient you can tame him
Good luck.

@ all
contributions carefully noted. Thank you.

@largie
your idea is fantastic. I'll try it. Thanks

The most annoying thing about little children is , without any doubt , their taking far too long to grow. And I believe they do it deliberately to annoy adults. Certainly to annoy me!!. The little rascals.

Jawn: Dont warn him at all, the best and last solution is pouring hot water on him while he is asleep.

Do want to kill the child? Is that how your mum pour hot water on you while you were at that very tender age?If you don't have a reasonable advise to give why can't u keep mute.

@OP
like someone posted earlier, keep warning him, over and over again, especially for those plain rebellious and disobedient moments. Just keep warning him, then on the D-day, calmly, get a good cane or bet, straddle him on ur laps and give him some good ol' spankin. You dont even have to say anything. 7 hours latet, give him his favourite ice-cream. A boy is a boy. Once in a blue moon caning cant kill him. All d best.

Shame on all you the ladies strategising the best means or i would rather tag it 'The Worst means' of chastising a 4yr old child that knows little or nothing about life.

That's child abuse should incase you dont know, and as for you poster, i dont think that child is safe with you, if i'd known you in person i would've began legal proceedings agains you, cos you dont seem capable of taking care of that child.

Aluta continua!

Hmm...kids are fun to be with, but when they start getting naughty, call them to order!
For you to be an effective and influential parent, you must possess a trait of psychology. I'm a teacher in a school, so i deal with children everyday. How well do you understand him?
Smacking, spanking and all other disciplinary acts may not pay off if you as a mother don't know him very well(psychologically). Kids are spontaneous! don't forget his teacher in school also contribute to his upbringing, character wise and social wise. And they, children, spend more time with their teachers in school than their parents!
Also see it as a phase he must pass through, he behaving that way doesn't mean he will be like that forever.
Kids at that age tend to be stubborn and stiffnecked most times.
Lastly, know his temperament. His he a phleg, choleric, sanguine or melancholy, WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO by Time lahaye will broaden your knowlege on that. Knowing the temperament of a child is a strong and influential tool for effective child upbringing. All the best!

It's gud to train a child than to bend an adult. So don't buy d idea dat wen he grows, he wld drop off dose annoying stuffs. No! Talk to him & discipline him (not by canning alone, pls. A child of this age should know when you are happy @ him/frown @ him. You can easily instinct into d heart of a child before he is 5years! Once he s past 5, canning becomes one of dose things 2 him; meaningless, he'll even beg u to beat him so he can be free from your noise. So never you take him as a child, but an individual.

So if the foundation is destroyed, wat can d righteous do? May be you were once like dat man! (U might need 2 ask ur Mom; how was my childhood like? Was l stubborn, ...? This is becos ur child is ur replica in many ways u know.


Pray for him. For with God all things are possible, effective stress free parenthood inclusive.

Ask the Holy Spirit for help.

Kids are BORN TO BE ANNOYING. . .Just 'HOLD' yaself o!
Or you will just commit murder!

I have one that starts 'stripping' off her clothes in public when UPSET!
Hmmmmmmm!!!
I don't know where the hell she picked up such a habit. . . .

Belzebub!