davidylan:

.Trust me, i know the difference. the "independent" ones are generally loud.

Nope. The loud abrasive ones you describe arent independent. They are the typical ghetto chicks on welfare. That's dependent right there.

lmao

that was a good one

So now its ok to whale on hood rats?

Didn't it got so interesting while I was away!

@poster
Your title is your title, not mine.

I did not read into it, just took it for face value to show the impossibility or futility of such a debate. Maybe that's how you feel, maybe that's what's in your head, but I don't read minds, and would only stick to the data presented. I tried to show you the problem with your title in earlier post, but you want me to assume that there are no black women that say they are strong and 'independent'

Independent of of what, whom and where?.

Even solitary 'independent' animals like leopards become 'dependent' of the opposite sex just for procreation.

If you think you're so independent, why bother with a Nigerian man?

I have read your previous posts, and I agree that there's nothing wrong in bringing up topics for discussion or debate, especially if they serve a therapeutic purpose in ones life.

On that note, I tell you again, and without mincing words that a feeling of independence in a man or woman is ininmical to long term plans of living together as partners. You can post it or discuss under what ever heading you like, but the facts remain unchanged--- men depend on women, women depend on men.

naijaking1:

If you think you're so independent, why bother with a Nigerian man?

For once i agree with Naijaking1 100%. If women are so independent why dont they just visit sperm banks and spare us these threads that are aimed at nothing but an opportunity to bash Nigerian men?

Its not as if Nigerian men were literarily dying to marry them anyway.

@almondjoy

Girl, which raw nerve did I touch? Phrenic, obtutator, vagus, accessory, or radial?

You secreted so much epinephrine that I thought you were going to have an MI or pop one of the artries to your brain. Are still hyperventilating? That's what happens when you miss my point, or read my post standing on your head.

Unfortunately, you are unable to debate without going personal. Please update your skills.

@Davidylan

If I crack a rib secondary to your posts, I will send you the bill for therapy.

i was just thinking the same,

The Topic of debate is why are are Nigerian men 'intimidated' by the 'Strong' 'independent' black woman it obvious by some of the responses that this thread is becoming a reality.

other areas of debatetable controversial areas 'baby mothers' or in english women with children single mothers ,working mothers ,or married/living with partners  have come into this discussion  

lets  stay with the debate/discussion with  intellectual answers  

@poster
If you meant: Why Nigerian men are intimidated by strong, successful, and career women; I would have no qualms with that. I'm only responding to your title.

If you try to reverse the title with black men being strong and 'independent' you will understand its absurdity.

britgirlee:

The Topic of debate is why are are Nigerian men 'intimidated' by the 'Strong' 'independent' black woman it obvious by some of the responses that this thread is becoming a reality.

We are not intimidated at all!   There are just too many women out there to worry about those who have suddenly decided to describe themselves as "strong and independent".

It would be much more appropriate to say that men AVOID "strong and independent" black women. Its not because they are afraid of them, it probably has to do with the fact that no one wants to spend the rest of his life brawling over who is boss with his wife.

Remember the example I gave about independent leopards.

Why would a normal man(Nigerian or not) bother about a woman who comes proclaiming her independence only to find out that the reverse is indeed the case?

I understand how this paranoia in certain Nigerian women's age group could be misinterpreted and even misunderstood as independence, but guess what?

Who's fooling who?

naijaking
as it is 'niaraland' i headed the topic  with 'nigerian' men it could of read why are'men' diffrent cultures percieve things in diffrent ways

what i wrote i my intial transcript one can dicifer that the woman is a career woman etc

britgirlee:

naijaking
as it is 'niaraland' i headed the topic with 'nigerian' men it could of read why are'men' diffrent cultures percieve things in diffrent ways

what i wrote i my intial transcript one can dicifer that the woman is a career woman etc

My dear britgirlee, I think I know what you're saying, but for the sake of not second guessing you, it think it's better to say what you mean, and not leave room for us to decipher what you mean.---- unless there is some sort of problem with self expression.

britgirlee:

what i wrote i my intial transcript one can dicifer that the woman is a career woman etc

na wa o.   this one na typo too?  

naijaking1:

I understand how this paranoia in certain Nigerian women's age group could be misinterpreted and even misunderstood as independence, but guess what?

Notice how most of the "strong, independent" women are clocking 35 and above already.

Independence and peace co-dependence are mutually exclusive.

naija king

you do know what im saying your articulate enough to understand this topic,

people will always pick out words what they believe to understand and tailor to
thier own needs no matter how i would of worded. Its human nature

britgirlee:

naija king

you do know what im saying your articulate enough to understand this topic,

people will always pick out words what they believe to understand and tailor to
their own needs no matter how i would of worded. Its human nature

Jeez you're annoying. All these talk about "debating intellectually" and "articulation" and you have trouble spelling.
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF YOUR THREAD? You keep accusing people of not understanding your point BUT we can only go on with what you put up as the topic. We cant live in your mind and suddenly understand what you intend to convey.

Funny how the only people who "understand this topic" are those who say what you want to hear.

Sorry if men are intimidated by "strong independent black women", just find men who are not intimidated by YOU and move on. Frankly this charade masquerading as a "debate" is getting boring.

naijaking1:

@almondjoy

Girl, which raw nerve did I touch? Phrenic, obtutator, vagus, accessory, or radial?

You secreted so much epinephrine that I thought you were going to have an MI or pop one of the artries to your brain. Are still hyperventilating? That's what happens when you miss my point, or read my post standing on your head.

Unfortunately, you are unable to debate without going personal. Please update your skills.

All of the above----I hope you get put out real sooooooooooooooooon! Only Epinephrine?  You made me an "adrenaline junkie too"  I will be wearing a nicotine patch for the next one week.   Thanks to you. While I am updating my skills---you take some lessons on how to interprete topics without adding on your primitive concerns to them.  We are not in your village here ok?

naijaking1:

Remember the example I gave about independent leopards.

Why would a normal man(Nigerian or not) bother about a woman who comes proclaiming her independence only to find out that the reverse is indeed the case?

I understand how this paranoia in certain Nigerian women's age group could be misinterpreted and even misunderstood as independence, but guess what?

Who's fooling who?

I see you have a problem witht the word "independence""  Don't ever worry about hooking up with anything in skirts at all--just buy a "goat" and tie it to your "picket fence"!  You are fooling yourself because many Nigerian guys are hopefully turning out for the better--after being "straightened out" by many "independent" femles at home and abroad.  Don't let that cultural mess fool you. I have had many debates without getting personal--I just get pissed when "toddlers" run around and disrespect their "elders" on Nairaland.  Just trying to teach "some" younglings a few lessons or two before they get "put out "of the houses in the future.

I would have put you out a long time ago!  Don't know what they are waiting for.  I would be surprised if you ever had the opportunity to be "put in" in the first place.  That would be 8th wonder of this world.

For the last time--no one goes about proclaiming independence--it is not a hostage or colonial crisis.  That is a state of mind that shows and is not broadcast! Gosh!

britgirlee:

naija king

you do know what im saying your articulate enough to understand this topic,

people will always[b] pick out words what they believe to understand and tailor to
their own needs no matter how i would of worded.[/b] Its human nature

You understand perfectly.  Try reasoning with "typical" Nigerian dude--does not matter level of exposure---one track mind--no room for compromise.  What a wasted education.

davidylan:

Jeez you're annoying. All these talk about "debating intellectually" and "articulation" and you have trouble spelling.

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF YOUR THREAD? You keep accusing people of not understanding your point BUT we can only go on with what you put up as the topic. We can't live in your mind and suddenly understand what you intend to convey.

Funny how the only people who "understand this topic" are those who say what you want to hear.

Sorry if men are intimidated by "strong independent black women", just find men who are not intimidated by YOU and move on. Frankly this charade masquerading as a "debate" is getting boring.

I beg to differ.  All of you except a few practically deviated from the topic.  Some of us actually want men that "attempt to intimidate" us, so we can teach them a permanent lesson--that they would never try anywhere else if they survived the psychlogical mayhem.  Who is afraid of you guys?  I say come on.  Some of us actually relish the thought of a worthy marital adversary if ever you choose to go that route.   

We got plans for your kind.  Not to waste my money after inviting all those guests/depriving myself of generous registry gifts, I personally would wait after the wedding/honeymoon--if we happen to get that far--it definitely will be show down in the gulf---all gloves are off.  Just do not play dirty and decide to kill your wives before she finishes dealing with you guys like most of you do in Nigeria and outside Nigeria--that is A "FOUL".  Just stand tall and take a few lessons from the "independent black woman". Let me help you guys out.

*********Your main problems as guys is that you refuse to accept the notion that the concept of an independent black woman exists despite the several definitions given to you. Instead you come up with your own "Misnomers and Synonyms" as you eruditely put it.  Crock!!!!!

*********Most of you as members of the Nigerian cultural and religious theater of the absurd and dance groups think this notion is unhealthy and have decided to vilify it just to suit your primitive cave men-George of the jungle bunny mentality. Like we are living in some Arewa-Oduduwa-Ohanaze- Biafra-Obong-Erediawa-Ibru kingdom or something? Take your freaking chieftancy titles and shove it!

**********You also refused to accept that most Nigerian men are really intimidated by such women like it is not a reality.  If anyone deviated from this "debate" which started off well enough--you davidylan, naijaking1, Debosky and Arnold1 did just that. Brought in your humongous egos in here and started running around.   Oh, how can I forget the one called Cyclone5?  Infact[b] "britgirlee"[/b] was taking a beating from you guys.

You guys need to take some courses in "language comprehension" for you collectively leave much to be desired in that area especially, and one wonders how you guys get around in life without being quarantined by Dr. Watson.  Your days are numbered and your days of reckoning way past due if not already experienced.  About time someone taught you guys a serious lesson.

You cannot get away with this kind of slanted reasoning for too long--that is if it has not caused you a lot already---long dealt fate with miserable bachelorhood with the ability to function daily only with the help of your "pastors" or some form of "anti-psychotics".  Goodluck with your "village brides"!!!!  Please feel free to visit Nairaland's "Family or Cultural Sections" to give us updates while lamenting over your ordeals!  That is if you do not surf from "Fox River Penitentiary" first for murdering your "independent black wives".  We will gladly hand you the kleenex to wipe your nostrils. Your privacy will be protected for you are still our brothers and we love you dearly.

For the very last time, get it into your skulls:

A strong independent black woman anywhere in this world is one who realizes that she is an "EQUAL" partner in a relationship with any man she is involved with.  Never a surbodinate.  One that commands and fosters mutual respect and consideration from a "partner" without tolerating the abuse most men are so ready to dish out based on some learned cultural or religious hangover!!! -------GEDDITT

almondjoy:

You understand perfectly.  Try reasoning with "typical" Nigerian dude--does not matter level of exposure---one track mind--no room for compromise.  What a wasted education.

We got plans for your kind. Not to waste my money after inviting all those guests/depriving myself of generous registry gifts, I personally would wait after the wedding/honeymoon--if we happen to get that far--it definitely will be show down in the gulf---all gloves are off.  Just do not play foul and decide to kill your wives before she finishes dealing with you guys like most of you do in Nigeria and outside Nigeria--that is A "FOUL".  Just stand tall and take a few lessons from the "independent black woman". Let me help you guys out.

*********Your main problems as guys is that you refuse to accept the notion that the concept of an independent black woman exists despite the several definitions given to you. Instead you come up with your own "Misnomers and Synonyms" as you eruditely put it.  Crock!!!!!

For the very last time, get it into your skulls:

A strong independent black woman anywhere in this world is one who realizes that she is an "EQUAL" partner in a relationship with any man she is involved with. Never a surbodinate.  One that commands and fosters mutual respect and consideration from a "parner" without tolerating the abuse most men are so ready to dish out based on some learned culture or religious hangover!!! -------GEDDITT

All these over what? We are not interested in marrying strong black women . . . please find a sperm bank.

Abi na by force?  Kai menene!

You'd think Nigerian men where all abusive! go marry your western men and leave us ALONE o jare! Most of the successful black men who would marry you are busy with white women anyway . . . i doubt if they are listening to the monotonous rants here.

davidylan:

All these over what? We are not interested in marrying strong black women . . . please find a sperm bank.

Abi na by force? Kai menene!

I thought it was supposed to be a "debate"? Just helping "britgirlee" here--not that she needs it. Which force? No flatteries please!  Just trying to do some insomniac education here.   So some of you can learn.  You have given your own "thesis", please let me give mine.  Or Independent black "baby mamas" do not qualify?

Glad we can agree on something.  Thank God for reproductive science.  "Blond hair, blue eyes are in"!!!!  No nappies from Africa--- Just might get a chance for "the" petri-dish offprings to escape the "scourge" of Dr. Watson's theories.

almondjoy, male or female? Anyway, how now? What of MaJ?

Ndipe:

almondjoy, male or female? Anyway, how now? What of MaJ?

My gender is seasonal.  Male in the summer and female in the winter.  We are fine as you can see.  I am sure MaJ is fine too.

@Almondjoy

If you're not psychotic already, I'll bate this topic surely pushes you in that direction. Bringing your past ugly experiences in this type of debate makes it hard, painful and disorienting for you.

My advice, try to forget your past sad experiences for 1 minute if you can.

How you just go off topic, and continue going, going, going, going in the wrong direction.

Even the poster knows that the title of this thread lends itself to misunderstanding, but you, no. You just keep going, and going!

naijaking1:

@Almondjoy

If you're not psychotic already, I'll bate this topic surely pushes you in that direction. Bringing your past ugly experiences in this type of debate makes it hard, painful and disorienting for you.

My advice, try to forget your past sad experiences for 1 minute if you can.

How you just go off topic, and continue going, going, going, going in the wrong direction.

Even the poster knows that the title of this thread lends itself to misunderstanding, but you, no. You just keep going, and going!

Why not!  It is supposed to be a debate not your "Igwe's palace"!!!! If you gat something to write do so and keep stepping.  Have no time for your childish games!
Who is going off topic? So we should all shut the hell up cyberly because the "Igwe" of Nairaland has had his final say?  Does this feel like a tribal thread to you when all speak with one voice?   I say na your village you go prove that one not for here oh!

My Sad experiences with you I presume? .  Please give me a break! You are not even qualified to make an Illama sad not to talk of a human.

You are not serious---Jo---MOVE and give others the space to write something meaningful here instead of your "closed-ended arguments and colloquial thought processes".  Who be you?   You do not have to make this a personal matter between you and I ok?  If you feel I am psychotic or whatever, you can jolly well keep A-stepping like others.  See trouble oh?

naijaking1:

@Almondjoy

If you're not psychotic already, I'll bate this topic surely pushes you in that direction. Bringing your past ugly experiences in this type of debate makes it hard, painful and disorienting for you.

My advice, try to forget your past sad experiences for 1 minute if you can.

How you just go off topic, and continue going, going, going, going in the wrong direction.

Even the poster knows that the title of this thread lends itself to misunderstanding, but you, no. You just keep going, and going!

My brother, come see me see trouble O! We've been here trying to examine the issues yet noise keeps bursting in from the streets.

I wonder why it is that all of a sudden, it ok for one person to turn this into an assault on life in the village. We have even seen some quite unprecendented abuse of village gals. To call them savages and uncouth is really just a case of a superiority complex. I guess being strong and independent preclude the need for solidarity and due consideration.

Maybe there are issues with some Nigerian men. But why dont we examine the culture a little bit more closely. IT will reveal that the issues have a root and a cause. And you will will also find there are issues with relationships and women too. It is the nature the dance for all to bring their own rhythm.

No matter what some people think, the guys here are still trying to make reasoned points. Even if they are confrontational and controversial. Lets focus on the discussion and keep from trying to scratch eyes out.

Cyclone5:

My brother, come see me see trouble O! We've been here trying to examine the issues yet noise keeps bursting in from the streets.

I wonder why it is that all of a sudden, it ok for one person to turn this into an assault on life in the village.

We have even seen some quite unprecendented abuse of village gals. To call them savages and uncouth is really just a case of a superiority complex. I guess being strong and independent preclude the need for solidarity and due consideration.

Maybe there are issues with some Nigerian men. But why don't we examine the culture a little bit more closely. IT will reveal that the issues have a root and a cause.

And you will will also find there are issues with relationships and women too. It is the nature the dance for all to bring their own rhythm.

No matter what some people think, the guys here are still trying to make reasoned points. Even if they are confrontational and controversial. Lets focus on the discussion and keep from trying to scratch eyes out.

Hmmmmmmm!  Thank you for finally investigating the difference between "wisdom and intelligence". Please stop speaking in "village proverbs" and state your point.   Next please!

Sometimes you wonder what almondjoy is talking about. It certainly cant have any relation to the topic.
Oh well what d'ya know.

"A strong independent black woman anywhere in this world is one who realizes that she is an "EQUAL" partner in a relationship with any man she is involved with. Never a surbodinate. One that commands and fosters mutual respect and consideration from a "partner" without tolerating the abuse most men are so ready to dish out based on some learned cultural or religious hangover!!!"

So Beautifully!!. Hugs dear! . Permit me to quote you

This is what I will plaster on my door for Prince Charming to see when he eventually comes

David dear, goodmorning

this is what she is talking abt

"A strong independent black woman anywhere in this world is one who realizes that she is an "EQUAL" partner in a relationship with any man she is involved with. Never a surbodinate. One that commands and fosters mutual respect and consideration from a "partner" without tolerating the abuse most men are so ready to dish out based on some learned cultural or religious hangover!!!"

davidylan:

Sometimes you wonder what almondjoy is talking about. It certainly can't have any relation to the topic.
Oh well what d'ya know.

Personally, any woman would place a man worth respecting as head in a relationship or marriage. All we brothers need do is to earn ourselves as much respect as possible. Respect being relative would differ from persons to persons and for the ladies who have out of this world expectation of a man, then a humanoid will do them well.