one thing i have fund out in my yrs of mariage is that in every home there always sumting to contend with, it's either the children, or the Husband/Wife or inlaws. the thing is as a woman don't rush to take discisions cos in most cases you might regret it, i know it is not easy, but keep praying to God, if you don't have a job get one or get a business going that will keep you company, get some money do shopping and always look your best,in situations like this you need God more than anything get closer to God he will always encourage you and think of how you can enhance you self am sure one day he will come back begging.....

soft girl: one thing i have fund out in my yrs of mariage is that in every home there always sumting to contend with, it's either the children, or the Husband/Wife or inlaws. the thing is as a woman don't rush to take discisions cos in most cases you might regret it, i know it is not easy, but keep praying to God, if you don't have a job get one or get a business going that will keep you company, get some money do shopping and always look your best,in situations like this you need God more than anything get closer to God he will always encourage you and think of how you can enhance you self am sure one day he will come back begging.....

Great advice, G-d will give you strength you never knew you had, You will discover so many things about yourself and as you keep busy you will forget about your hubby and his lifestyle.

jennykadry: Lol, CC we can only dream my sister. There is no harm in dreaming. Kadry said he is still going through post "conception" trauma and cannot believe he is able to sleep well these days without anybody waking him up and asking him to pop a pillow behind my back, on the side e.t.c, what about the cooking part, i craved fresh peppersoup almost everyday and this man will prepare it before living home for his business. What about getting him to scrub back in the shower nko? or buckling my sandals and fastening my snickers laces? or having him open the car door and stand there for 10 minutes whilst I arrange my body well and push it out of the car? These days sef, I have to run to catch up with him if we are going out, no more opening car doors for me o

Nope, he said he does not want to go through all that again.

My hubby did not go through all that stress and he is still afraid of another. my PREG was stress free, i was not throwing up, no sickness, no cravings, nothing, i was just me, the only thing was emotional wahala, i will laugh this minute, the next i am crying profusley, then after the baby, had severe preeclampsia, naa dat one scare the man oooo. though, i always use that preclampsia thing as an excuse for extra resting, any little thing, i would be like, (seems my heart is thumping fast) i need help oooooo, i don't want to go to the hospital againooooo, bla! bla!! bla!!!! and he has not seen through that trick yet (till he comes on NL)i am still getting him to warm-up for 2nd round. this time ''quadruplets''.

ronkebp:

My hubby did not go through all that stress and he is still afraid of another. my PREG was stress free, i was not throwing up, no sickness, no cravings, nothing, i was just me, the only thing was emotional wahala, i will laugh this minute, the next i am crying profusley, then after the baby, had severe preeclampsia, naa dat one scare the man oooo. though, i always use that preclampsia thing as an excuse for extra resting, any little thing, i would be like, (seems my heart is thumping fast) i need help oooooo, i don't want to go to the hospital againooooo, bla! bla!! bla!!!! and he has not seen through that trick yet (till he comes on NL)i am still getting him to warm-up for 2nd round. this time ''quadruplets''.

Pre e is very scary, did you have to take magnesium sulfate after the birth and lay down in a dark room for over 24 hours? I know a lady that got pre e, it progressed to HELLP syndrome and finally Eclamsia, she had to be placed in a medically induced coma to save her life, but she recovered and is doing well. If you got Pre e once you are @ a high percentage to get it again, so please be informed about the risk and buy a blood pressure culf so you can check you bp daily. With pre e its best to be super proactive with your healthcare during pregnancy. Make sure your OBGYN knows about the Pre e in your last pregnancy so you can be followed appropriately or refer you to a high risk doctor. gl baking your next bundle of joy

Op,you are just selfish, if you think you will handle the guy's sugarcane all alone, you must be out of your mind

neyostica: Op,you are just selfish, if you think you will handle the guy's sugarcane all alone, you must be out of your mind

Seeing as you obviously advocate an "Open Marriage", you'll have no qualms with other men "handling" your wife's sugercane abi?

Efemena_xy: Seeing as you obviously advocate an "Open Marriage", you'll have no qualms with other men "handling" your wife's sugercane abi?

Ma'am, it doesnt work like that, this is men's world

neyostica:
Ma'am, it doesnt work like that, this is men's world

Really? Pls educate me:

Why doesn't it work like that? How exactly is this men's world??

Jenny Agun:
This guy works offshore. On several occassions his wife had contracted stds when he came back from PH where he transits through upon going off or returning home to Lagos.
whenever he is at home, he is with his phone chatting away with his girls whether he is in bed with his wife or not.
his friend told this man's wife point blank that "she is not the problem, that this guy has been a multiple sex partner person ever befor they got married and that she should keep praying for him".
She prays but she is getting more frustrated because there seems not trace of changes, rather, he is increasing his fleet of babes.
Amongs these girls, there is one in particular, he started dating before he married his wife and they are still dating.

Everybody please help.

She knew he had other gurls but she still married him cos of MONI. .
.
lest I forget,
-he 4ucks b4 goin offshore
-he 4ucks wen goin 4 pre.spud
-4ucks imediately afta drilling, casing or cementing
-n also likely also 4ucks after completions
-n then leaves his biatch in his hotel room b4 leaving 4 the airport
.
they hardly change, they dnt get enof, their loadz of cash is their driving force. she shuldav taken d exit while they were stil dating bt she chose to marry his moni.
Too bad. . .

OP, if you knew your husband was a serial cheat but went ahead to marry him my word for you is: endure his cheating and enjoy whatever else is left of him.

There is no adulterous man oh... Just take care of urself and enjoy ur children.

YOU AND HIM NEED TO GET SAVED IN CHRIST JESUS! THE CANDID ADVISE I WOULD GIVE TO YOU IS TO JOIN DEEPER LIFE BIBLE CHURCH; BE REGULAR WITH HIM IN THEIR SERVICES AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT WHEN HE IS SAVED: HE WOULD FORSAKE ALL THESE STRANGE WOMEN, GOD BLESS YOU!

This is no news at all.If the woman is comfortable and getting all her needs met by the adulterous husband,then she shouldnt worry.Alternatively,she may choose to divorce him.

~Bluetooth:

This is no news at all.If the woman is comfortable and getting all her needs met by the adulterous husband,then she shouldnt worry.Alternatively,she may choose to divorce him.

this statement can only come from a man ...

kambili190:

this statement can only come from a man ...

So what will a woman say ?

Might I add that all these American minded women pls stay off the topic cuz I knw d nex thing they ll say is divorce him forgetting that d op is in naija

maclatunji:

Sometimes you cannot but think that some women deserve the treatment they get in marriage. Why? They knew their husband to be what he is as a bachelor and still decided to go for him.

Ladies no matter how tough you think you are, if you marry the wrong man, you will be the one to lose out. The same is true for men, the only thing is that he can always move-on without his children clinging-on to him.

as much as i pray for the woman in this problem to be given wisdom by God, i also knw that she knew ds guy is like that while courting, tell me she didn't go for the money?

Hahahaha....dts it. i keep telling u guys here that all married rich guys cheat, u never agreed, u see it now in action?? Hahahaha....that guy is just a victim of being caught! lolz...all married in Nigeria who earn N500,000 & above do same, so don't crucify the young man, he is not alone. men will come here now telling you lies that they don't cheat their wives, blah blah, blah, story! they all do, but maybe with two or three but my guy is increasing his fleets of babes in a geometric progression cos he is an oil guy and who knew what you Nigerian girls did to him when he had no cash or no job? and who knew what his wife did when she was single, maybe running around campus with different rich guys, married and single....now is pay back time, so let her shut up & stay with it or simply seek for divorce, but she cannot still the best cos all rich guys in Nigeria are just like that; promiscuous cos thats what our girls have turned us into by showing us openly that they love money so much more than true love and care just only about our cash, so why is she crying now? she never see anything shaa....the guy cannot stop, simple! he is my type though i am not married, and if God doesn't send a decent girl to change my ideology about Nigerian girls in the next few months or say a year, his case will be less than mine when i marry. so dear, tell your friend that it is a culture of all rich or say middle class Nigerian married men to cheat. and if not for kids, majority of Nigerian men won't marry! simple cos u ladies are just after money, now she hve got the money, y looking for love that she never went for? she is confused! sorry for some of my harsh words, but thats to tell u how serious the situation is and to tell u that your husband is doing same, just that he is too smart u are yet to catch him. some u will never catch them till death do u guys part!

I think the question should have been the opposite, that is how do live with an adulterous wife? because all what you mention here in also applicable to women. A friend of my once narrated a similar story to me some years back and when it persist, he had no choice but to divorce this adulterous lady. Women are the worst adulterer.

@ poster from the way yu told the story I think yu are the woman in question but yu decide to tell us it happened to yur lady friend;All the same I advice yu to go on yur knees as God to change him and devour every Jazebel coming btwn yu guys.married isn't by force also so if it isn't working don't force it pls leave!don't wait till he gives yu Aids..am sorry but I think he's such a dirty man to have infected his wife with STD.Chikina!!

SORRY TO SAY THIS BUT IF MY HUSBAND PUTS MY HEALTH AT RISK THEN I WOULD DEFINATELY DIVORCE HIM, MARRIAGE IS ABOUT LOYALITY, COMMITTMENT, LOVE, CARE, PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE. I THINK AS WOMEN WE NEED TO START LEARNING TO BE INDEPENDENT AND NOT TOO CLINGY TO OUR SPOUSES, CAUSE THEY USE IT AGANIST US

the thing is most men are unfaithful in marriage,be it ur father,ur bro,ur uncle,ur friend even ur son! But am i going to leave the marriage?hell no!i will stay and endure for my kids sake jst the way my own mother endured to make sure we were taken care of.cos like it or not,if you leave,another woman will come and take your place and maltreat your kids.the guy is taking his family on holidays,haba,pepper rest nau!u r blessed!others wish to be in your shoes.enjoy ur self and his money!inflate ur kids fees,homekeeping allowances etc,save all u can,go to spas,go swimming,take yourself and ur kids out for expensive meals once in a while!splurge!!!!! Unless the money no dey.look away frm his runs,e go tire am.since u already have ur kids,bone sex with him unless with protection.no go kill urself for church! If all this fails, babe, go even! Arrange one of ur ex boyfriends,preferably a matured guy who is married!protect ur self though.that na d last resort! Be happy o!no allow one sturborn he goat end ur life bf ur time! Me i no go gree!

the thing is most men are unfaithful in marriage,be it ur father,ur bro,ur uncle,ur friend even ur son! But am i going to leave the marriage?hell no!i will stay and endure for my kids sake jst the way my own mother endured to make sure we were taken care of.cos like it or not,if you leave,another woman will come and take your place and maltreat your kids.the guy is taking his family on holidays,haba,pepper rest nau!u r blessed!others wish to be in your shoes.enjoy ur self and his money!inflate ur kids fees,homekeeping allowances etc,save all u can,go to spas,go swimming,take yourself and ur kids out for expensive meals once in a while!splurge!!!!! Unless the money no dey.look away frm his runs,e go tire am.since u already have ur kids,bone sex with him unless with protection.no go kill urself for church! If all this fails, babe, go even! Arrange one of ur ex boyfriends,preferably a matured guy who is married!protect ur self though.that na d last resort! Be happy o!no allow one sturborn he goat end ur life bf ur time! Me i no go gree!

An holy man is the man that has not been caught in the act. Nobody holy! I'm talking from experience and all the men I've known be eyinbo , dudu, Nigerian etc. But they are like angels to their wives because they kept it away and super discreet. My wife is my wife and I have to respect and be super discreet and dont put her into all the emotional troubles.

But what about all this girls out there. I mean college girls that winks at you every-time. Ok will you just give her money for handout like that without getting a favor back in some way? Pay for her hostel just like that? They wished they was her but dont get it twisted wife is different! mother of the kids, takes care of me and life back up etc. And dont ever call my home phone or call me anytime from 8pm to 8am. Wife time!!!!. Or you get put on block/call barring. I have no feelings for you; thats why I always give money for taxi (Its not for taxi its for the Bleep). So its easy as a click to block you off the phone. Just sidekick when wife not available and maybe those club nights too. But you dont get the ring or expensive stuffs that wife get. NO expensive trips like wifey too. And weekend for the family. What a rant? But true. I hope wifey never signs up on nairaland!

Until women and girls alike start realising that you don't have to be married to live a happy and comfortable life we wil continue to read stories like dis on NL.
I understand d Country's 'norm' and 'traditions',but should we trade our pride and comfort for them?
Whatever U r passin thru ryt nw,my aunt is passing tru 100 times more,and she's been married since '96 now. And she's stl dia,and d fine husband is stl misbehaving.
It boils my heart,boils my inner being,but what can i say?
God help u all.

choncholot: the thing is most men are unfaithful in marriage,be it ur father,ur bro,ur uncle,ur friend even ur son! But am i going to leave the marriage?hell no!i will stay and endure for my kids sake jst the way my own mother endured to make sure we were taken care of.cos like it or not,if you leave,another woman will come and take your place and maltreat your kids.the guy is taking his family on holidays,haba,pepper rest nau!u r blessed!others wish to be in your shoes.enjoy ur self and his money!inflate ur kids fees,homekeeping allowances etc,save all u can,go to spas,go swimming,take yourself and ur kids out for expensive meals once in a while!splurge!!!!! Unless the money no dey.look away frm his runs,e go tire am.since u already have ur kids,bone sex with him unless with protection.no go kill urself for church! If all this fails, babe, go even! Arrange one of ur ex boyfriends,preferably a matured guy who is married!protect ur self though.that na d last resort! Be happy o!no allow one sturborn he goat end ur life bf ur time! Me i no go gree!

choncholot: the thing is most men are unfaithful in marriage,be it ur father,ur bro,ur uncle,ur friend even ur son! But am i going to leave the marriage?hell no!i will stay and endure for my kids sake jst the way my own mother endured to make sure we were taken care of.cos like it or not,if you leave,another woman will come and take your place and maltreat your kids.the guy is taking his family on holidays,haba,pepper rest nau!u r blessed!others wish to be in your shoes.enjoy ur self and his money!inflate ur kids fees,homekeeping allowances etc,save all u can,go to spas,go swimming,take yourself and ur kids out for expensive meals once in a while!splurge!!!!! Unless the money no dey.look away frm his runs,e go tire am.since u already have ur kids,bone sex with him unless with protection.no go kill urself for church! If all this fails, babe, go even! Arrange one of ur ex boyfriends,preferably a matured guy who is married!protect ur self though.that na d last resort! Be happy o!no allow one sturborn he goat end ur life bf ur time! Me i no go gree!

she should enjoy the money ehh. that is d source of her problem. she went for the money not giving a f**k abt his lifestyle,now he is complaining. Would she have stayed with an adulterous man if he wasnt rich. NOOOOOO. Babes wont learn. They are too stubborn to learn.You married him cos of his money so shut d hell up and enjoy being one of the furnitures he acquired.

@ cc
Nice advice. i think u need to open a site or blog where u will advice some of these ur fellow babes. Most of them are just too stooopid.

I say castrate him, while he is sleeping, or she can repeat the style of that Egyptian woman than sliced her husband into pieces and fed him to cat and dogs

ONE DAY HE WILL GIVE YOU AIDS...SHUT UP AND LEAVE THAT MARRIAGE ABI ARE YOU FAT? THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT WILL ADORE YOU, HE HAS DEFILED THE MARRIAGE VOWS SO WALK AWAY NOW AND GET OUT THERE

hmmm....what she asked for is what she got.i strongly believe she knew he was actively engaged in all these acts even before they finally got married,cos thats the way it happens most time.she might be of the opinion then that he would change,bt those kind of changes of extra-sexual activities do nt just occur without person's personal conviction or supernatural intervension.believe me once you are sexualy addicted to multiple sexual pattern as a guy,its going to take some level of comitment to quit,so let her get more close to God and pray about it,that's her only hope 'cos no matter hw financialy bouyant the man is,the family wil stil suffer in one way or the other

aliyumd: I say castrate him, while he is sleeping, or she can repeat the style of that Egyptian woman than sliced her husband into pieces and fed him to cat and dogs

u be mumu. the guy did nothing wrong.he`s been like tht b4 they married.since she had no problem with that then,why is she complaining now.