There I was in a car with four interesting individuals. It had been a long hot day and going back home was such a relief. I was sandwiched in the backseat of a very modest car, the Kia Picanto (a contraption designed as a cross between the local ‘keke NAPEP’ and Hitler’s Volkswagen Beetle). Counting the driver and passenger upfront, we were five inside the mobile matchbox. My fellow occupants all had one thing in common; they had become cynical about the chances of Nigeria ever being a nation one could be proud of.

At the wheel was Cynic A, who was greatly disillusioned about the organisational structure upon which Nigeria was built. According to him, he had grown weary of trying to change Nigeria and was only waiting for an opportunity to defect to the money-making political sector. Next to him was Cynic B, who came across like one who was never quite a believer in the Nigeria project. Unlike Cynic A, Cynic B was born a Cynic. Cynic C sat to my right and he seemed to echo what all the other cynics had to say; it appeared nothing quite interested him in the talk about reforming Nigeria. He seemed more interested in how much, in Naira terms, our beliefs would bring us. To my left sat ‘Cynimus Prime’, the biggest cynic of them all! He had this long-suffering look on his face that troubled the looker; the look of a man who was still upset with the Late Gen. Ojukwu for losing the 1967 Civil War. He was a man of very few words but when he spoke, I sensed the weight of his words make the car swerve. Yet, inside this potpourri of cynics was I, the unrepentant optimist.

Me: So what do you guys think of the Malian coup? I believe that the weakened government at the centre deserved what it got. It should have acted more decisively against the Touareg uprising in the North…

Cynic A: A coup is a coup and there is nothing good that can come out of it.

Me: Sometimes I wonder if a coup could happen in Nigeria, a revolutionary coup that would cleanse the land of all these mischievous politicians.

Cynic A: Be careful what you wish for, the class of people that currently have that capability to carry out a coup in Nigeria have all been corrupted, so there really would be no going forward, just a brutal retrogression.

Cynic B: I will only support a coup if I personally know the person carrying out the coup... at least I can get a top political position in the new government.

(All laugh except me and Cynimus Prime, who is scowling and looking at his blackberry.)

Cynimus Prime: So you want to tell me that you are still one of those who believe in the Nigerian dream? Do you have money? Don’t you know that to effect a proper change within the polity, or even carry out a revolution as you call it, you need good money? Don’t go and use hunger to kill your family because you want to be an activist o!

Cynic C: Abi o… What is important is the tummy! I am sure that Nigerian woman who tried importing half the Columbian heroin stock into the US understood the importance of the tummy.

Cynic B: Seriously, the best thing to do now is to enter into the big political parties. That is the only way we can effect any form of change in the polity. Me I cannot join sha, I have a son who calls me daddy.

Cynic A: The risk is that one would get corrupted by the system. I mean, take a look at Reuben Abati!

Cynimus Prime: And what is wrong with him? The man has done the right thing for his future. Everyone who has ever done any form of selfless act for this country has been ridiculed. I mean, can you even remember anybody we can truly call a national hero? This country grinds and destroys every iota of heroism in one. I believed in the struggle for a better Nigeria a long time ago, (looking straight at me) and I once had the kind of infantile optimism you have now, until the harsh realities of the peculiar Nigerian situation hit me hard. If you want to be Jack Bauer, suit yourself. When the betrayal and hunger come, I hope it won’t be too late.

Cynic C: You have said it all. Ol’ boy better face the truth and quit this “I will reform Nigeria by force”. Everybody in this car was once like you. Even the youth are no better now. Where is the group that was shouting about light? They have vanished and yet the light is still awful. Do you think they just decided to go underground by themselves? I suspect they were monetarily convinced to abandon their project.

Cynimus Prime: (once again looking at me) there are only two types of activists here in Nigeria; those that have been compromised, and those that have not been fortunate enough to be compromised. Clearly you belong to the latter group. Just keep making noise, you will have your shot at compromise.

At that point, I felt like a big hole had been uncovered in my heart. It was terrifying just hearing these young men (Not the PDP defined ‘youth’, but real young men in their 30’s) talk so gloomily about Nigeria. As I alighted from the vehicle, I knew my belief had been trampled upon. They had made me realise I was a broke noisemaker, and that Nigeria would most likely not change from my efforts. It was a disheartening experience. For a second, the evil side in me wished the oncoming BRT bus speeding like a maniac because it was on ‘its lane’ would take out these four ‘wicked’ people.


http://www.dailytimes.com.ng/opinion/cynical-quartet

there are only two types of activists here in Nigeria; those that have been compromised, and those that have not been fortunate enough to be compromised.
This is so so true, every bloody noise maker out there is only waiting for his chance to dig his paws into the national cake also

Very interesting article, i like the humour.