Men should not allow their egos to get in the way of family progress. Both of you are in this institution of marriage TOGETHER and it is this notion of togetherness that should influence your decision. Two issues are salient about this situation:

1) It's a slam-dunk positive for your wife (career-wise and income-wise)
2) The move will be relatively hassle free for you career-wise because your skill-set is in high demand anywhere and you won't have any difficulty finding another job

In this situation, the best thing for the FAMILY is to move with your wife. Depriving your wife of a great career move without any good reason will only breed future resentment and marital strife. Men need to start seeing marriage as a true partnership between two individuals with perfectly aligned interests. You decision-making process has to progress from being "husband-centric" to being "family-centric". You should always make decisions based on what's good for the family as a combined whole because what's good for your wife is also good for you and your children. In this particular case, given the facts provided, the OP should move with the wife.

PS - I recently ran into an old friend who quit his engineering job last year to go be with his wife who is completing a cardiology fellowship at a top-notch hospital. He found a new job after a few months of searching. They are both very happy and the wife is particularly grateful for the sacrifice. That family is probably one of the happiest young families I have ever seen and I look forward to seeing them emerge as a top power couple.

Gaggi: This is a potential divorcee in d making. U would relocate even if ur husband doesn't approve. U shld have remained single. Marriage is for those who knw what it entails.

Most likely a very unhappy home at the moment. I guess some women let the illusion of success get to their heads until they get to the point of marriage be damned.

I'm sure her husband is just worried about getting an equivalent or better job should he have to relocate because of his wife. The same women crying foul would be the first to relegate the man to the background should they end up the breadwinners.

moremi2008: Men should not allow their egos to get in the way of family progress. Both of you are in this institution of marriage TOGETHER and it is this notion of togetherness that should influence your decision. Two issues are salient about this situation:

1) It's a slam-dunk positive for your wife (career-wise and income-wise)
2) The move will be relatively hassle free for you career-wise because your skill-set is in high demand anywhere and you won't have any difficulty finding another job

In this situation, the best thing for the FAMILY is to move with your wife. Depriving your wife of a great career move without any good reason will only breed future resentment and marital strife. Men need to start seeing marriage as a true partnership between two individuals with perfectly aligned interests. You decision-making process has to progress from being "husband-centric" to being "family-centric". You should always make decisions based on what's good for the family as a combined whole because what's good for your wife is also good for you and your children. In this particular case, given the facts provided, the OP should move with the wife.

PS - I recently ran into an old friend who quit his engineering job last year to go be with his wife who is completing a cardiology fellowship at a top-notch hospital. He found a new job after a few months of searching. They are both very happy and the wife is particularly grateful for the sacrifice. That family is probably one of the happiest young families I have ever seen and I look forward to seeing them emerge as a top power couple.

you've said it all... Daresh would take heed to read this before reading the riot act to her husband.

davidylan:

Most likely a very unhappy home at the moment. I guess some women let the illusion of success get to their heads until they get to the point of marriage be damned.

I'm sure her husband is just worried about getting an equivalent or better job should he have to relocate because of his wife. The same women crying foul would be the first to relegate the man to the background should they end up the breadwinners.

Ok now you really don't understand. This is a hypothetical situation based on a tv show! First of all I have no plans to relocate anywhere. Secondly my husband doesn't have a "job" he runs a company and I DO NOT expect him to relocate anywhere at least not now. If thing change and the situation requires I move and dt will be the best move for the family then I expect him to put his ego aside like moremi suggested and do what is best for us all. Marriage is a partnership not a dominion of one over the other Thirdly my home is far from unhappy. In marriage I have come to realise dt his upbringing is totally diff from mine, and so he doesn't really see things from my point of view but small small sha. Pls as I said it is hypothetical o! It is not happening in my home pls!

Gaggi: This is a potential divorcee in d making. U would relocate even if ur husband doesn't approve. U shld have remained single. Marriage is for those who knw what it entails.

You take heed to ur own post. Do you know what marriage entails?

These men! no sacrifice at all for your wife then una go dey form better husband.

Johndoe100: @OP
I have spent many yrs away frm my family. It's not easy but you do it for the good of your family.

My God! Are you married? Like seriously? With all the negativity you vomit here, i never pegged you for a married man. Na wah ooo.

Since you said this topic is only for the men

Hmmm, Dafidi and Gaggi "mean" well. Its well known Davidylan can be "deep" but you woulda knocked me down sideways with a feather that the vacuous Gaggi was anything but

davidylan:

the OP has not provided enough information for you to make this baseless conclusion to be honest.
1. Is the husband established in a business that is easily transferable to another location? How far is the new location to where they live now?
2. How old are the kids? Are you willing to move them out of school all of a sudden to a new location and start searching for a comparable school for them?
3. Any job opportunities for hubby in the new location?
4. Is the move necessary financially or career-wise or is this just another lateral move that is no better than what she presently has?
5. Cost of living? Lower or higher in new location? How does this affect the family budget?

So many issues the husband has to deal with... and you've already labeled him a selfish brute? No wonder the likes of Johndoe and Richvkunt are so harsh in their assessment of much of what passes for "advice" in this section.

I agree with much of what you posted.

A lot has to be considered, friends in the vicinity, schools for the kids, a place of worship.

Moving isn't easy, adaptation is another thing to be considered.

It'll be easier if there were no kids involved. But if kids are involved, rooting them around from school to school will be detrimental to their long term academic prowess.

Basically, sacrifices will have to be made.

@op, next time please give us a clearer picture.

[b]

moremi2008: Men should not allow their egos to get in the way of family progress. Both of you are in this institution of marriage TOGETHER and it is this notion of togetherness that should influence your decision. Two issues are salient about this situation:

1) It's a slam-dunk positive for your wife (career-wise and income-wise)
2) The move will be relatively hassle free for you career-wise because your skill-set is in high demand anywhere and you won't have any difficulty finding another job

In this situation, the best thing for the FAMILY is to move with your wife. Depriving your wife of a great career move without any good reason will only breed future resentment and marital strife. Men need to start seeing marriage as a true partnership between two individuals with perfectly aligned interests. You decision-making process has to progress from being "husband-centric" to being "family-centric". You should always make decisions based on what's good for the family as a combined whole because what's good for your wife is also good for you and your children. In this particular case, given the facts provided, the OP should move with the wife.[/b]

PS - I recently ran into an old friend who quit his engineering job last year to go be with his wife who is completing a cardiology fellowship at a top-notch hospital. He found a new job after a few months of searching. They are both very happy and the wife is particularly grateful for the sacrifice. That family is probably one of the happiest young families I have ever seen and I look forward to seeing them emerge as a top power couple.

GBAM!!!

100% co-signed. I have a deep sense of respect for such men that put their fragile egos aside to ensure they do what's best for their family.The wife is blessed & i hope she continues to hold that man in very high regard, becuase such men are rare.

Busy_body:
Since you said this topic is only for the men

Hmmm, Dafidi and Gaggi "mean" well. Its well known Davidylan can be "deep" but you woulda knocked me down sideways with a feather that the vacuous Gaggi was anything but

Like seriously, sometimes keeping it shut does a whole lot of good ehn...busybody.

Gaggi:

Like seriously, sometimes keeping it shut does a whole lot of good ehn...busybody.

Like seriously, what is the opposite of good, e wan worse pass worst ni see you shoving my compliment back in my face

And how can I keep my fingers shut. And I am the one in yabaleft, pssssft

Busybody, would u go back and get that cake ready

Where d party at o? Me neva chop for 3 days o

Tgirl4real: Busybody, would u go back and get that cake ready

Where d party at o? Me neva chop for 3 days o

ha ha tt,u still dey dis thread?abi u don turn to man ni?

Busy_body:


Like seriously, what is the opposite of good, e wan worse pass worst ni see you shoving my compliment back in my face

And how can I keep my fingers shut. And I am the one in yabaleft, pssssft

bb baby, i just couldnt help it,i ad to eavesdrop on u n tt conversation, me likey cake wella wella,pls can i av some

Daresh:

There is no laying down the law. We all have choices to make in life and if I decide that is the choice for me I expect him to understand. If he doesn't want to come then I will go without him. Case closed!

Like you Rightly said we all have choices to make as long as we don't make the ones we will spend the rest of our life regretting! That is why before you get married you have to spend some good time truly knowing each other and discuss how you would handle difficult situations... Your husband has the mind set of "I married you and not the other way" I dont think such mind sets can be changed over night.. If he sees it as a taboo to move with his wife, then you have a lot of explanations to do so he understands he is not just following his wife but for the betterment of the family and if he doesn't understand, will that be enough reason to throw away the marriage? ..Then again it will depend on how solid the marriage is in the first place?... But are there any guarantee that the next marriage or relationship will be better than this one? So many things to think about when we make difficult decisions ... Bless

Tgirl4real: Busybody, would u go back and get that cake ready

Where d party at o? Me neva chop for 3 days o

taryour:

bb baby, i just couldnt help it,i ad to eavesdrop on u n tt conversation, me likey cake wella wella,pls can i av some

Haba, see awon wobias Well, maybe things have changed for you youth of this generation, but in my own time back in the days, year 1920 to be precise, na you pipu suppose buy me cake oh

Taryour please tell me it is those dense rich wedding cake you like too, not those fluffy cotton wool ones wey dey always fall apart oh. Chei why am I suddenly hungry

Busy_body:




Haba, see awon wobias Well, maybe things have changed for you youth of this generation, but in my own time back in the days, year 1920 to be precise, na you pipu suppose buy me cake oh

Taryour please tell me it is those dense rich wedding cake you like too, not those fluffy cotton wool ones wey dey always fall apart oh. Chei why am I suddenly hungry

bb,if na for cake i be correct wobia of d highest order o,na joke u think say i dey do cake to make money ni, i dey bake correct correct,infact at d moment i get correct solid delicious cake on my kitchen table. Eida fluffy,dense,strong, brown,pink,e.t.c e.t.c cake,all na cake. Wait i dey come,make i blutooth cake reach ya side......

U don open ur mouth soo....

I leave in a building where two of my neighbours one a married woman whose husband is abroad and comes once a yr and the other a man who lost his wife early last yr have been fucking hell out of themselves for some months now.
If you don't want your wife to be a public property keep her close to you, women are all the same, easy to convince when you use the right formula.

it depend on the two of them, they have to agree on maybe she should go or not,
it all depends on the husband..

I will agree if she lace her punany with the powerful "magun" to prevent chua chua. she must buy different vibrators to service her self when in need

taryour:

bb,if na for cake i be correct wobia of d highest order o,na joke u think say i dey do cake to make money ni, i dey bake correct correct,infact at d moment i get correct solid delicious cake on my kitchen table. Eida fluffy,dense,strong, brown,pink,e.t.c e.t.c cake,all na cake. Wait i dey come,make i blutooth cake reach ya side......

U don open ur mouth soo....

Chei!!!

Taryour, are u in lagos? can I come for some cake I don dey salivate already

https://www.nairaland.com/951586/happy-birthday-honeric01-busybody-e.t.c#10973745


Daresh,

you just painted a clearer picture.

If the job pays very well in dollars or pounds. She is free to go!

if my wife gets a great job somewhere and i can easily transfer or get another one we will move with her but if i cant easily get another one, i will think thrice!

If my wife goes that far for a job then i'll have to consider getting a divorce. I need my wife to be around to do wifely duties before man go go commit sin.

midpoint: if my wife gets a great job somewhere and i can easily transfer or get another one we will move with her but if i cant easily get another one, i will think thrice!

thats more like it! Men willing to support their wives to be all that she can be and not just living in his shadow!

It's something I would do without any hassle.
I love and respect women who are career-driven.

I just want to comment becos of this Daresh lady. Madam, I thump up for your hubby. The example you gave shows he is managing u right, else u would be out there hating marriages.

I have a working wife. Her salary is for her, pocket money. My pay slips are everywhere in d house. Hers is sacred, unseeable. I take every conceiveable bill. Rent, electricity, food, kids uniform etc. Mind u, I have a good wife. But her goodness does not extend to sharing her income. So u are saying I should move with her to say Abuja assuming she is transferred with a pay of #500k that is twice my pay. You are sick

Did she marry me? David captured my thoughts, d OP needed to have provided more information, for meaningful advise.

God forbid that I depend on woman for anything other than intimacy

My wife has no business working in a town separate from where I live. Plain and simple. Marriage is meant for couples to live together, and no amount of work can separate that. That is why I got my wife to resign from her previous job and set up a business for her which is paying her well.

funny question if it me i would tell that wife to sit her ass down or shes on her own.the question is money and family which comes first,or better still i take a second wife that way we are all happy

Following up from this post, I know a couple. Man working as a lecturer in one town, holding himself, wife transferred to Abuja, holding herself.

Few months later. My guy, sex-starved, started seeing all the undergrad girls in his school and it was like scales had fallen off his eyes. Started enjoying himself. Wife, seeing Abuja money in action, started banging an Alhaji.

It is better I have my wife around and not suffer the thought of going to prison, because I will surely decapitate any man that even tries to touch her with a chain saw. I know myself and what I can do, so it is better not to tempt the devil or allow the devil to tempt you.

onoja12: funny question if it me i would tell that wife to sit her ass down or shes on her own.the question is money and family which comes first,or better still i take a second wife that way we are all happy

You honestly think you can be happy with a second wife ?