this is kind of funny, but i will try to make it sound ok, i have a fiancee whom i hope to get married to next year, she happens to work in jos while i am in niger state, i have beign here for about two years and i can proudly say despite the nature of my job (i lecture in a tertiary instituition here) i havent slept with any one, about three months ago, i met this very interesting corper who has a great personality and is fun to be with, because of the nature of where i work, and the town , we get to spend time together and do a lot,she is so fantastic to be with and the gist never seems to end , before u start shouting there is nothing intimate between us, she is also engaged but says i spice up things for her around here and she has done the same for me.

i tried to tell my woman about it, but she said she didnt want to know the girl, saying that she does not trust port harcourt girls n all that which is understandbly ok, i tried to explain to her but she said that she knows me and what i can do but does not know the corper or what she is capable of doing, right now the corper is in jos and i wanted my girl to hook up with her and do some shopping with her to bring down to me here, she bluntly refused, she doenst even want to have her number, i have never seen her so brash before. this corper is a fresh breath of air for me, i feel safe with her as in we have been hanging out and doing stuff for three months but there has beign no emotions attached to it, it seems its only me and her that understand our relationship. infact my colleagues at the office think we are sleeping with each other, even her fellow corpers make funny comments to that effect.i just wonder why people think that a guy and a

woman cannot just friends without sex coming in between them?

the last scoop is that she says she can't wait to finish her service for two reasons

to get down to her oga, and make plans for their wedding

to get away from me, because i am becoming a necessary evil in her life, whats the catch?

All this wahala over relationships that may dissolve anytime?
Okay o. let people who have answers say something.

UPDATE: it's simple really. Your new corper friend is a real threat to your current relationship.
Your girlfriend knows it, and your corper friend does too. You, on the other hand, are in denial.

randa:

i am becoming a necessary evil in her life, whats the catch?

. . . . and the Bible warned us to flee every appearance of the (d)evil. It is a matter of time, before you fall, my guy!
You know it. No call dog, monkey for us.

well what i have to say is this. ur girl is scared of loosing u, she believes that the copper friend is a threat to her relationship. so she is doing everything possible to protect her relationship.
come to think of it. what if u happen to be in her shoes? i mean ur fiancee just call u and tell u that she got a male friend and she is hanging out with him and bla bla bla, but wants u to understand that there's nothing more than that. guy be sincere to urself, will u accept it? or what will u think?
so my advice is. If u know what ur fiancee dont like and u know u can not take it from her if it were u. pls stop it.

this relationship just looks like a passing fancy to me. It is not enough to endanger ur relationship with ur fiancee. How does a fiancee take her future husband's enthusiasm to talk about anoda girl all the time? and u are going further to try to get them to hook up. put urself in her shoes.

hmmm watch it
be careful, corpers are hot-hurt
though the intention may be this way and the end result the other way
th tin wey u no wan chop kuku ma no smell am for nose

@the poster, if you are describing this corper friend as a "fresh breath of air", it wont be long before the air becomes intoxicating and alluring for you to abandon your present fiancee. Only you can decide which relationship will work best for you. While you are not yet legally bounded with this fiancee of yours, perhaps, you can call off the relationship now, to reassess your true feelings for her.

lalalalala

haba oga

can u take that from ur girlfriend if u were in her shoes

thats the problem with u guyz wht u cant tolerate, u always want ur girlfriend to tolerate it.

abeg forget friendship with this copper before u loose ur fiancee.

Goodluck

@ poster
women never want to hear about u being close to another woman.
u should never have told your fiancee abt the corper.
thats a mistake real guys dont make

Like play like play one man take leg from Port Harcourt go Lagos. Funny enough the gyl is from PH.
Advice yourself dude.

@ Bennygee

so what vdo real men do? eat their cake and have it?

@ Poster

" abit of fresh air,are mates saying stuffs,ur colleagues thinking there is somethnig up even when u think there is nothing,ur gf not in niger state,etc,all these are enough to push u into the corpers arms.

as for me,the real men are thee wise ones,they know when there is trouble without being told!!!

hi, i just registered and i'm glad to be a part of your fun world. kip it real.

My Guy, let this corper go!!!
I no dey oh!!
It has happened to me. I actually floated a thread here asking you guys how to drop her.
She was becoming a thorn in my flesh
A word is enough for the wise
For the very wise, you no need to talk!

Best back off, the signs are already there. A girlfriend and another girl close to you don't mix. Despite your claims of no strings attached, she sees more than strings. Don't spoil the good thing you have, however 'innocent' your intentions.

Just dont dont loose grip, ur finance no go hear story if u go dey Jones with the corper,

Its obvious your girl is feeling insecure with your relationship with the corper, so i suggest you reduce the intimacy,at least for the sake of your gurl.
Besides,you think there is no strings attached to the relationship right now,but you never can tell what the corper's intention is .So be careful.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Follow the counsel of the wise - don't hurt your fiancee and thread carefully with your corper friend.

The Bawss has spoken

My man, if your lady is uncomfortable with the new kid on the block, respect her and add some distance. If you cant, then it is obvious that the relationship with the corper is not as platonic as we would like.
I wonder how evil this necessary evil is.

Bawss1:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Follow the counsel of the wise - don't hurt your fiancee and thread carefully with your corper friend.

It always starts innocently my brother.
next thing you know Your fiancee will tell you to get closer to some random dude who keeps her company in jos! 

The fact that you are concerned about peoples opinion about the whole situation reveals your true stand [intentions]. You are attracted to this "friend"and before you know it ,
Will advice you to redefine the relationship.

no nigerians are just stupid. they always think if a girl and guy hang out together they are screwing each other. its sooo damn annoying.

i see where ur girl is comin from trust me its not easy and if u were in her shoes u would feel the same way as well. just stop telling her about the other girl chikina.

finemocha:

no nigerians are just stupid. they always think if a girl and guy hang out together they are screwing each other. its sooo damn annoying.

i see where your girl is comin from trust me its not easy and if u were in her shoes u would feel the same way as well. just stop telling her about the other girl chikina.

If you are Nigerian, that means that the statement includes you, if not then that is an insult on Nigerians
When a guy and a girl hook up under what ever name you call it, a seed is being sown, and it depends on where the seed fall that determines whether it germinates. And when you have an over 80% probability of it turning into a full relationship based on previous experience, would you not be forced to believe that assertion

You can only decide who you hook up with, at which point your heart takes over the drivers sit. Remember the song with the line the heart is not so smart. See the only absolute control you have is preventing the hook up

hi,
you just narrated what happened to me during my service year,my dear, I adviced you back off slowly, else you may be surprised where but of you will find yourself,cheers

Well! bro, in as much as I will blame you for letting things go this far I will also like to add this:
I find it interesting to say that ur present predicament may be a reflection of the level of trust that exist in ur relationship with ur fiancee, I believe trust and love are one of the basics of every successful relationship. Your fiancee must learn to give you a little breathing space, she must realise that as ur future wife she must get use to the idea u will come in contact with a lot of people- women inclusive. so she must learn to trust you and trust here should mean trust with wisdom. Same goes for u too as a man cos what is SAUCE 4 D GOOSE IS SAUCE 4D GANDER.

@ poster

this is what you have done. You have presented your fiancée as an insecure, not so trusting woman. And the corper as a perfect companion to be with. This is not 30 years into marriage when things get a little boring and you already finding another suitable companion. And coming at a time your girl should be the only refreshing thing to you. Ask yourself, if your girl is mrs 'convenient to marry' or a 'available and ready' to you. Because your love for her is in question.

finemocha:

no nigerians are just stupid. they always think if a girl and guy hang out together they are screwing each other. its sooo damn annoying.

nigerians are not stupid. a guy hangs out with a girl, no big deal, but to be so close---- smtg must happen. u share a smile here, a hug there---- u read him, the girl is a "a breath of fresh air", what is his future wife? a bretahe of bad air? i think he is already falling sef. na wa o.

To the poster, I may be wrong but women have the capacity to smell trouble ahead. If she is not really digging this new girl-friend of yours and you value your relatioship, maybe you just let it pass;except that is the way she acts with all your new friends!

someone is playing with fire.

otokx:

someone is playing with fire.

and sooner or later he wud get burnt or else he removes his hand.

dear me save yourself the stress,leave the corper alone.

i hear all of you,both the tangible and the insultive and i do agree with a lot of you, i wiill cutl down on my beign with the corper friend since my girlfriend isnt cool with it. itwould not want to hurt her in any way, i love her dearly, we have come a long way and she has being my pillar of strenght from way back when i was earning 15k a month to 80k a month,

she deserves da best from me, thanks for the tutorials, my opinion doesnt not on this issue

U, my friend, r treading on ultra-thin ice. Believe me man, its only a matter of time b4 both u nd ur corper (girl) friend begin to swim in hot water. I wish ur fiancee had taken u up on ur offer to make d corper her friend. Dat way, she'll be able to kip d "enemy" close and monitor her every move. Good thing is dat she appears to trust you. Don't let her down, flee dis trap now!!!!