Hi guys,
I need y'all to rate and vote for my poem on this blog

http://www.poetry.com/voteforme/poemvote1.asp?PID=12661720

WILL YOU PLEASE STOP GOING TO POETRY.COM?!!!

I'll comment if you would kindly place a copy here.

Amidst the tide of lonelyness
Lies an epitome of happiness
The Angel of my time, the angel of my world
Winning and dinning with my cardiac chip,
Confined in my castle of obsession
Throwned upon my glare of passion
Endless emissaries,gem of my life
The Angel of my time, the angel of my world,
In the abstract realm,I am the knight.
Now I unravled the misery,
The Smilling Sun does not wait for her treachery
Amidst so much conquest, emanates a futile bravery


when ur done pls kindly vote for me on the blog pasted on my first thread.[color=#006600][/color]

in my opinion, this is quite superfluous
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
there is no flow to this poem
literary writing is about communication, you should be able to connect with your audience through your words, but most times we make the mistake of crowding our writing with "big words" in our bid to impress the audience.
lonelypal, i must say, you've lost me on this one. but i'll like to see more of your work,

@ colors

I appreciate ur comment though, but I must say u r not being objective enough, it will interest u to know that one of the cardinal principles of poetry is that a poet is equipped with what is called POETIC LICENCE i.e the freedom to use words and phrases with less regards for rules of grammar. I must also add that poetry has different tones and levels. The tone of this poem is high and I will say it takes an audience with sound poetry knowledge to deduce the theme and the various poetic devices employed by the poet.

lonelypal, you asked for a rating and i gave you one. if you cannot handle constructive criticism then why ask for it. besides all that talk about tones and levels and as you said ", audience with sound poetry knowledge to deduce the theme and the various poetic devices employed by the poet", is a bit too far fetched dont you think. from what i've read you are still at the amateur level of any form of literary work, poetic license or not.
i will still reiterate my position on your work, SUPERFLUOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

, u are entitled to ur opinion

Lonelypal, sumhow u were quite complacent on dis 1 but i agree with u on this against colors, analyticaly speaking,the lines were nt forced nor contorted as u did nt lack the elements of an emotionaly inclined verse, Its clever n better yet speaks poignantly though the expression was intricately woven,u were able 2 achieve dat special poetic effect bt if i may suggest,work on simplicity n style, cheerz man,ure gud at it!