Who is drunk?

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my little bar, and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else...
After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.
Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I’m not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.
And I’m not half as thunk as you might drink.

I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

I dey come make I go piss...

I think I will just repeat ur signature.

Wtf!

LWKMB

OUCH! Now my eyes hurt.

^^ then u need more whiskey.

@tg, i'll tell daddy tani u've been speaking french

A friend of mine bought half a crate of eggs and discovered that there was nothing inside , Just shell he went to where he bought them and broke all the eggs and all was found empty .THen they went to d poultry to complain, some chichkens came out and started lavghing and said ''see these fools, they don't know that we too have started using condom.hahhahahah!!!

executinal: A friend of mine bought half a crate of eggs and discovered that there was nothing inside , Just shell he went to where he bought them and broke all the eggs and all was found empty .THen they went to d poultry to complain, some chichkens came out and started lavghing and said ''see these fools, they don't know that we too have started using condom.hahhahahah!!!

10th century joke.

nitrogen:
10th century joke.

twas very funny I forgot to laff

^^

@kay9. Now dis is some crazy joke! Really funny.....

executinal: A friend of mine bought half a crate of eggs and discovered that there was nothing inside , Just shell he went to where he bought them and broke all the eggs and all was found empty .THen they went to d poultry to complain, some chichkens came out and started lavghing and said ''see these fools, they don't know that we too have started using condom.hahhahahah!!!

c'mon! Dis joke's damn too stale! Wtf??

booqee: @kay9. Now dis is some crazy joke! Really funny.....


c'mon! Dis joke's damn too stale! Wtf??

Get life, if is stale you walk over and stop the silly rant

executinal:
Get life, if is stale you walk over and stop the silly rant

Bro, all u had to do was follow me and drink the friggin' whiskey, did u have to break them darned eggs too??

kay9:
Bro, all u had to do was follow me and drink the friggin' whiskey, did u have to break them darned eggs too??

Sory do not intend to derail ooh.. . but some people always seek attention. I will join you shortly

^^umm, trade?? i be engineer o!

hehehe

Kay9, u don craze finish.

kay9: ^^umm, trade?? i be engineer o!

Were did you see trade

^^u don dey feel like sharp guy ba? I intentionally avoided quoting u, seeing as u've taken some strokes already... Oya beg me before i ope your nyash o

executinal:
Get life, if is stale you walk over and stop the silly rant

nah..you r d one dat needs to go get a life. U came out of nowhere and decided to contaminate a funny thread with ur extremely old and dry yoke! As in dude, can't u create ur own thread?

Hey hey! No fighting on my -hic! - thread o!
The only thing allowed here is whiskey-drinking... and maybe sink and cork counting. In fact before anyone shaysh anythung - umm shorry - shays anything here, he/she must first tell me how myna - hic! - mayn sorks and shinks he/she hash chounted.

Another drunk joke...

One night in a local pub, a man stumbled up to the only other patron in a bar and asked if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," came the reply.
The first man then asked, "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replied the second man. The first man responded, "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replied the second man. Curious, the first man then asked, "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," came the reply.
"I can't believe it, " said the first man. "I'm from Dublin too!" He continued, "Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replied the second man.
Curiosity again struck and the first man asked,"what school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replied the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man said. "I went to Saint Mary's and graduated in '62, too!"
About that time, one of the regulars came into the bar and sat down. "What's been going on?" heasked the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again!"

This one really cracked me up.
-------------------
Superman?
This business man goes up to a bar, located at thetop of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place. He takes a seat at the bar next to another guy."This is a really a nice place. I've never been here before," the first guy says."Oh really?", the other replies, "it's also a very special bar"."Why is that?", the first guy asks."Well, you see that painting on the far wall? That's an, original Van Gogh. And this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic.""Gee, that's amazing!", the first guy says."Not only that, but you see that window over there, the fourth one from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall only about 50 feet before an updraft catches you and you're pushed back up.""No way, that's impossible", the first guy replies."Not at all, take a look", the other man replies and walks over to the window, followed closely by the first man. He opens the window, climbs up on the sill, and falls out. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh! He comes right back up and floats back in through the window."See, it's fun! You should try it", he says."Try it, I don't even believe I saw it!", the first man exclaims."It's easy. Watch, I'll do it again". And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet. Once again, he comes to a stop, and whoosh! He sails right back up and floats safely through the window."Give it a try, it's a blast," he says."Well, what the heck, it does look like fun. I believe I will give it a try", the first man says. He climbs up on the window sill, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10... 20... 30... 40... 50... 60...70...80...90..100 feet, and splat! He ends up on the sidewalk.After watching the first man fall to his death, the other guy casually closesthe window and heads back to the bar. As he sits down and orders another drink.The bartender arrives with the drink and says,"You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk!"

hmmm.....

not so quite funny

^^Yeah... Imagine, Superman egging someone on... on to death! Bad superman, bad!

"Well, what the heck, it does look like fun. I believe I will give it a try", the first man says. He climbs up on the window sill, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10... 20... 30... 40... 50... 60...70...80...90..100 feet, and splat! He ends up on the sidewalk.

But this guy na serious mumu o, reminds me of that kid at the beginning of Kick A$$ who thought he could fly

kay9: ^^Yeah... Imagine, Superman egging someone on... on to death! Bad superman, bad!
But this guy na serious mumu o, reminds me of that kid at the beginning of Kick A$$ who thought he could fly

Kay9, are u talking to yaself? This is sad o

^^its the whiskey talking.

~ ~ I see. . .

Much appreciated

OP.............if i slap you,for dis ur choke

*picks up a black soldier ant*
*puts it inside toygod's boxers*
*picks up another black soldier ant*
*puts it inside toygod's boxers*
*picks up another soldier ant....

*SMH*