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Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 6:25pm On Oct 08, 2013
Mynd_44:
The truth is that people can't be trusted to remain the same and a lot of em pretend during courtship.

Thank God for the people who invented divorcegringringrin

I agree.

Every human on earth has both potential to behave as a saint and as a swine. Though which one is actualised is a product of choice and not conditions. But in a world where most people are controlled by just feelings, then it's likely people will change with time afterall their feelings won't always remain thesame.

In summary, a good man can turn bad and a bad woman can turn good.

1 Like

Religion / Re: Do Prayers Actually Work? Be Realistic With Your Response And No Insult, Please! by k2039: 6:10pm On Oct 08, 2013
ajayikayod: Bro, u cant be on d fence. Its either it works or it doesnt.
Whr do u stand.
There are laws that govern prayers, if you must achieve results, then you must be ready to play by the rules.

If you chose to go against the rules and you don't get results, it's not because the rules (in this case Prayer) doesn't work, it's because you violated the principles governing the result.
Go through my whole post again.

k2039: [color=soyouquotedme][b]It's complicated.

Prayer works and prayer also does not work.

If I have to pray for success, I must be certain to work towards the attainment of that success or else fail by default no matter the prayer.

Some prayers are stupi.d and pointless. Example if I pray for God to give me 40million by the end of the year(except I kidnap Finance ministers mother gringringringrin)

The bible talks about praying according to God's will, I will add you must also be willing to work in the will and channel your effort to the attainment of the will or the prayer is just pointless.

Only in rare cases does prayer work without effort from the praying indivdual, Divine Intervention.

For the president, he just being plain silly, he doesn't want to take full responsibility for his actions hence his boycourt is prayer.
The earlier he understand his effort towards making Nigeria better is all that matters, not necessarily prayer, he needs to start using his brain and stop expecting God to come down from heaven to help because it won't happen.

This is more reason I love athiest although I know they are on the wrong part and non of them should quote me. An athiest takes full responsible for his life, actions and decisions, he believes if you have to get something, work towards it but in religion we have decided to put everything on God and devil[/b] [/color]
Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 5:51pm On Oct 08, 2013
Mynd_44: Why fear when I can always opt out?
Marriage done turn molue gringringringringringrin
Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 5:28pm On Oct 08, 2013
notinmege:

May God Almighty pour his grace upon you, strengthens you and bless you with a peaceful marriage simply because of your truthfulness, Amen!
AMEN AMEN AMEN
Romance / Re: Is Kissing And Romancing Before Marriage 'Fornication' ? by k2039: 2:03pm On Oct 08, 2013
Anonymous Heart:

Where does the Bible say so?
Matthew 5: 27-28

Though Jesus made reference to adultery, but then same principle applies to both adultery and fornication.

Secret_Dreams: It depends on your frame of mind, I don't think there's anyway you can be kissing and romancing someone you aren't married to with a clean mind, lust will find a way to creep in. Jesus said if we think it, we have done it.
Policewoman: It is a sin of fornication because all your erotic points are stimulated.

The bible says if u look at a woman lustfully you have committed adultery or fornication already.
Romance / Re: Is Kissing And Romancing Before Marriage 'Fornication' ? by k2039: 1:36pm On Oct 08, 2013
According to the bible yes, Matthew 5: 27-28 made it clear that lust in itself equates to the act afterall God is looking at the mind.
Though Jesus made reference to adultery, but then same principle applies to both adultery and fornication.

Personally for me that's a sin I'm willing to commit.

1 Like

Family / Re: Marriage Things: I Am So Confused, Please Advice by k2039: 1:08pm On Oct 08, 2013
Diamondwriter: fiftly,hw old are you?
Olodo, did you bother to read the post at all or you just skimmed through it.
Family / Re: Marriage Things: I Am So Confused, Please Advice by k2039: 1:04pm On Oct 08, 2013
bellong:

Contrary to popular and erroneous belief about Love, Love is not a feeling or emotions. It is a decision. For the girl to at least get your attention in asking her out, it is obvious there is an evidence of attraction to her. What you need do is to study her and see if you can live with her character and attitude. Assess her overall qualities and weigh what you can live with and what you can't. If your assessment qualifies for what you can live with for the rest of your life, then you can start working on yourself to be the ideal husband to her. With time, you will get to like and develop the feelings missing now.



Yes, I agree that you have a better job that can at least cater for your needs before marrying the girl. I am not saying you have to wait to get a high paying job but one that the pay is decent enough to cater for your household. Meanwhile, it doesn't stop you from building on the relationship.



Comparing themselves by themselves, they are not wise. One disservice we do to ourselves is to compare ourselves with others. Your friends had the means for an elaborate wedding, you do not have the same circumstance and so cannot operate under the same condition. Whenever you are ready for the marriage, do it according to what you can afford. Marriage itself starts after the owanbe ceremony, infact I do not count as too important the celebration celebrated by many.



What I see here is not confusion but an upsurge of hormones doing the thinking for you. Marriage is important but it is not done because others are doing or because I am getting old. You have to be matured in all areas viz-a-viz emotional, financial, anger management to mention a few.
Bro, sit yourself down and think of what you want from life. Map out strategy on how you aim to accomplish it. Look back on where you have made serious mistakes that have affected your progress and make correction for future purpose. Draw out a vision you intend to run with and stick to it with prayers.
Start working on becoming the ideal husband for your wife by reading good books and understudying successful homes. Take time also to identify what you want in a woman and the characteristics you will want to see (realistic expectations). When you see them in a lady, with time your attraction will become strong.

Finally, you need to let this sink into your heart that your life should not be compared with any. Some are early starters while some are late starters. What matters is for you to understand the purpose you are living for and run with it. Write the vision and make it plain upon the tables. The law of overtaking is a universal law. You are in no competition with anybody, savour your challenges and let them mould you to become a better person to your family and society at large. I pray that God settle you and grant you peace round about.
Perfect answer.

You did a great job in addressing all the points raised by the OP.

@Op, my two cent, just reflect on what bellong has written and sink everything into your skull and mind.
Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 10:24am On Oct 08, 2013
ledafaze:

First of all, bend down low....

Get to love the elastic things as that will remove the kids out of the equation... then, think of it as what God hates most... Its Adultery!
PREMISE 1
God hates adultery.

PREMISE 2
Adultery is not the only sin God hates, he hates anything sin.

PREMISE 3
I'm a sinner
Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 10:19am On Oct 08, 2013
Mynd_44: I have none.
I know say you no dey think of marriage at all, abi you get marriage for mynd
Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 10:15am On Oct 08, 2013
ledafaze:

That is something that is so sure... Someone must die first! or together... it is inevitable but our prayer is that the Lord should grant us long life
If they die together, na plane/car crash be that o.

1 Like

Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 10:12am On Oct 08, 2013
pasqal09: Fear of marrying an unfaithful person, its one tin to cheat in a relationship, its another in to cheat in marriage. If I'm cheated on in marriage, I'm might commit mother.
Also, fear of the enormous responsiblities of maintaining a family, bills, school feesa.... And shit. I see what my uncle goes thru and its SCARY!!!
Why not commit FATHER

10 Likes

Romance / Re: What Are Your Fears About Marriage ? by k2039: 10:09am On Oct 08, 2013
My only fear is that I may cheat on my wife and have kids outside of wedlock.

1 Like

Romance / Re: How Can My Sister Marry A Security Man? Tufia! by k2039: 8:07am On Oct 08, 2013
Shaw007: Dude!! . . Ur frigging shallow minded!!!!
This is the right word to describe the op.

The fact that he buys book for the girl is one reason why I don't have a problem with him being a gateman.

I'm sure for him to buy books for the girl, he certainly must be reading also.
Either he is a graduate or not (probably he didn't have money to complete his school) doesn't matter, afterall he is educating is mind.

Going to school only makes one literate, it's investment in literature that matters eventually.

The most dangerous man to under estimate is a man who constantly builds his mind through reading. You can ask Bill Gate and I'm sure if Kiyosaki had his way, he probably won't finish school.

My2Cent: I understand you fears and it's perfectly normal, but I will suggest you get close to the guy, I'm sure you'll marvel at the wisdom that will proceed out of his mouth.

Think about it, if you were to be in his shoe, will you be happy if family members prevent the love of your life from marrying you because you are a gateman.

Learn to appreciate a man who choses to word that steal, one of the UK currency which has the gateman of the bank of England on it, that's a nation that appreciates hard work.

1 Like

Romance / Re: How Can My Sister Marry A Security Man? Tufia! by k2039: 7:47am On Oct 08, 2013
danny301: Guy, your sense of reasoning and value system is terribly bad... What is wrong with someone working as a security man in a bank?.. Is he not receiving pay?... Do you prefer a rich criminal coming for your sister?....Dude, know that there is dignity in labour... If every graduate in Nigeria has a job that pays him or her the equivalent of what a security man in the bank receives , people would not be complaining of unemployment in this country as they complain today. Your sister has found happiness, and it doesn't matter whether, the man is working as a security man or as CEO, what matters is that he is responsible. Everybody must not start big in life. Its not a 'crime' to start small, what is a bad is remaining small... You need a shift in your paradigm, because its people like you that celebrate people with ill-gotten wealth and despise legitimate and honest low income earners , which is the major problem of Nigeria, because we succeeded in creating the impression that the low or middle-income earner is a nobody in the society, so everybody wants to be a high-come earner,either by hook or by crook and tomorrow will turn around and say Nigeria is bad.
Your head is too correct.
Romance / Re: How Can My Sister Marry A Security Man? Tufia! by k2039: 5:35am On Oct 08, 2013
johnwizey: U quoted all dat to say 'K'. Check my signature, u are one of dose dat are mad but nt roaming
gringringringringrin
Romance / Re: He Has Changed After His Family Bought A Car by k2039: 4:57am On Oct 08, 2013
Afam4eva: grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

This is Funny as Hell. Do Nigerians still behave like this?

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Is hell funny?

1 Like

Politics / Re: Akeem Akintunde's Post Before The Crash by k2039: 5:59pm On Oct 07, 2013
mindtricks: Might be mere coincidence but, really weighty words, enough for all to pause and ponder.
The guy just copied and pasted the sentence.

Na Steve Jobs talk am, I still watched that video on youtube recently sef.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 4:12pm On Oct 07, 2013
Mystic Vibe: Interesting topic. I have been attracted to someone before, it was for a long time - about 3 years. I understood the feeling wasn't mutual so I moved on...it was hard but it became easier when I put myself in his shoes. And when I moved away the change of scenery helped. Point is, you cant force anyone to love you. If everyone accepted this basic truth the world would have less pain.
For this comment alone, if you are single, I promise to dump my current girl friend for you.

You just impressed me with this response
Eeja Nla01: K2039 has been impressive in the thread so far wink,
He's been handling the mieldfield of this thread like Arterta and distributing passes(advises) like Xavi.

@topic Even God wants us to love our neighbours like ourselves and not MORE THAN OURSELVES,y kill myself over some1 that dosent love me in return.
This guy is cracking me up. gringringringringringringringrin
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 11:51am On Oct 07, 2013
sunny t: Why wud u love someone who dosnt love u in return or someone who belong to anoda person?

Its d most stupid tin any livingthing will eva do. Live is too short to waste ur time crying ova d height of mt. everest.
gringringringrin @ M.t Everest.
abi o, when one can just ride in a plane that soars into the sky.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 11:49am On Oct 07, 2013
kayClt: Its a normal tin,u don't always eat ur cake n hv it,if u get rejected,take a walk bck to th river n throw ur net,U will catch another big fish.
Must it be a big fish?.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 11:47am On Oct 07, 2013
usermane:

Hmmh,story of my life. But overall,u girls have it easier,u have other guys texting,showering you with praises and flowers,you have other guys to take his place in your heart. If i tell u my unrequited love story, u will understand my opinion better. Sometime ago, you loved someone who was a friend but madly in love with another guy who treat her badly,cheating on her,yet she would choose him anytime,anywhere over u. Yet,u can do nothing. Hoping and praying that one day,u will be considered more than a friend, you will be hers and the future will be the happiest man on the earth, but year after year of day dreaming, it only get worse. U have no better option than to go back to your bedroom and cry yourself to sleep because love in most cases isn't sweet. It is bitter. Because one day,you had to say 'bye',you had to watch helplessly as the only girl very dear to your heart had to finally move on, the girl of your dreams for 5 yrs is finally gone and your heart is completely shattered. 5 good years of your life wasted,5 years of rejection and dejection, an half decade of your existence destroyed. U feel broken, you lost in the end big time and that won't change. Now, you v lost everything, the dream, the hope, the friendship, did i say everything? U clearly are alone in this whole earth, despite all the people around. U 've bcome a downtrodden loner.

The worst university in the world to attend is the 'UNIVERSITY OF HOPE'. Rarely do people ever graduate.

Hoping that a girl who is with another man (good or bad) will finally come back to you is synonymous to waiting for a ship in an airport or waiting for an airbus in a harbour.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 11:39am On Oct 07, 2013
Wu Zetian: I remember when I was a sophomore, I used to crush on this guy called Ryan. He is an Alpha Phi Alpha, Alphas are just cool, period! I'm sure if I post a picture, the ladies would understand the torture I was passing true.

Fortunately or maybe unfortunately for me, we registered to the same class spring semester. He was a senior when I was a sophomore.
Very early into the semester like 2nd day of classes when most people haven't bought their text books, he came to sit down on a chair beside me. I was already dying inside, stealing glances @ the god beside me. My professor then made reference to something in the textbook.

I don't understand the liver I chopped that day, I mumbled something and made gesture to my textbook. He moved closer and I shifted the textbook a little so we could share. Na so liver fail me oo.
My people, I could not move as in, I think I stopped breathing. I just focused my gaze on my professor, I was scared to move a limb. I just sat down glued to my chair, scared to breathe or even cough. I don't think I have ever been so tensed in my life. When the class was over and he said, "thank you", I couldn't say a word. He said it like thrice, I just nodded and focused on putting my textbook in my backpack.
I couldn't look @ him. (No way, he would see right through my melting heart) I was shaking inside, trying to recover and this mofo was trying to hv small talk cry KAI! I hv suffered! cry

I swear when he dropped the class, I was happy ehn, having such hotness around was torture.
That's what some guys have to go through every time they ask a girl out and to think some of those girls (small brats) embarrases them is derogatory.

For me, if I initiate the conversation and she starts acting up, then I'm a gooner, I don't contact her again.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 9:49am On Oct 07, 2013
xoctic: that book is for deception, why nt advice them 2 play calm, if the guy notices you he ll certainly come 4 u. All u av 2 do is let ur sef been seen
Have you ever heard that 'Everything is fair in love and war'. gringringringringringringringrin
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 9:48am On Oct 07, 2013
El Guapo: Havent we grown past this bullcrap?

Dying and crushing inside while the other mate goes around giving his/her partner a hot Bj service! cheesy

Likes repels, you alone dont just have to store up those loves - there should be a 'link' that connects the both of you.

If he/she doesnt finds the need to establish a mutual relationship with you or isnt fond of you, then chances that your proposal would be declined spans from river nile to the atlantics cheesy
Here is someone who sees the world I see.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 9:31am On Oct 07, 2013
wandeykul: I'm a victim...in my case,we were alredy dating n it lasted 4yrs buh I was d 1 loving more,.ds month,he acts gud,nxt month,na anoda thin,I do most of d callin,text etc...ladies,we realy nid to knw our worth smtimes,I'm in anoda raltionshp nw where d luv is mutual on same level,I v learnt my lessons tho
Now you realised you spent four years being unhappy and it was your faultm because you didn't consider your own happiness. In reality, you were just an option in the guys book, their was someone else who was his priority.

I'm happy that you are happy now, wishing you the best in your current relationship.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 9:19am On Oct 07, 2013
Linqsz: here z ma story.
i fell in love wit a girl. I approached her,we talked for a while an she gave me her number....we started talking on phone buh she has never called me b4,so I do all d calling ...problem started when I told her my feelings for her...she hardly pick her calls,she won't flash after seeing my missed calls,she doesn't reply ma txt,msgs on whatsapp and Facebook ....
NAIRALANDERS,make I still dey try?
The worst place to be is the region of friend zone, you are only there to massage her ego. Leave now that your brain is still normal, the more you push the more you will get hurt and the lesser your chances with her. When I mean lesser, I mean negative percent because as it stands you chances of getting her is zero-one percent.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 9:14am On Oct 07, 2013
mayten30: guy when u truly love someone u will put them first,self love na wash sometimes,are u a christian?did u see what jesus did in the bible?he gave his life for you and I,didn't he think about self love?did you see that he put other party ahead of himself?and we are the other party
Be honest.

Can you die in place of your girl friend (not direct bullet to your brain), I mean being crucified in her stead, where you have to go through pain before giving the ghost.

If you are married, I can understand, because I can die in the stead of my wife and that will be based on a lot of considerations, but a girl friend, HELL NO.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 9:02am On Oct 07, 2013
mayten30: do u think love just happens suddenly?many people just spit the word "I love her I love him" without knowing if truly the feelings they get is love,love deserves patience?love is for the strong-hearted people not for the weak
,am not saying anyone should wait but what am saying is that love does not happen suddenly,so when you love someone and he or she is not loving back do not feel dissapointed
Whether suddenly or with time, I don't think it does matter.

Infact when a person loves with time, it's because he discovered something about the other person. In most cases it's intrinsic and he may not be able to pinpoint it for sure.

But then if your life is controlled by feelings, what happens when the feelings fade away?.

The day my life really changed was the day I realised, I'm not my feelings or emotions, I had absolute control over it. If my feelings or emotions controlled me, it's because I abdicated the responsibility to take charge to such emotions.

I can go on loving someone for my lifetime because I realise it's a choice and when it comes to professing love, I have to stay committed to the other party. Infact, the major problem with most relationship is that there is lack of commitment.

A man/woman who is controlled by her feelings and emotions is always likely to get hurt and devastated when the other party isn't treating he/she well. If your feelings control you, you will only empower it.

Now, I understand humans are creation of emotions, but then if they don't control/take charge of it, it will more likely destroy them.

Look at this illustration, what happens if a man catches his woman having sex with another man on his matrimonial bed (worst still it was raw se.x). Are you implying since the love is unconditional, he should just take the woman back wothout considering the pros and cons. Bearing in mind since she is not faithful she could get infected with sexual related diseases and that makes her a killer by default. In that case are you implying the man shouldn't love/consider his own interest first.

If that mad dies as a result of sexual related diseases, then it's simply because he was plainly exhibiting the apex of all stupidities.

You don't have to agree with me, most times we are blinded by prejudice (preconceived mindsets), but then if you take time to reflect on my post, you may actually see a lot of sense in it.

That's not to say I don't get your point, I quite understand you perfectly, but then one is always likely to get hurt than not because your destiny (happiness/joy) now lies with the other party.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 8:27am On Oct 07, 2013
mayten30: love is what you cannot define,when you can define it then it is not love
Bondage to slavery
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 8:21am On Oct 07, 2013
sampitts: what is love?
Based on my experience with people, I realised that love is simply the act of being stupi.d, whereby a man/woman let her happiness and emotions get controlled by the opposite sex.


For someone like me, Love is just a choice and a verb. I love you just because I want to and I'm smart enough to sack you if you misbehave because I love myself first before anyone. My interest first before yours. Afterall the bible says love your neigbour as yourself, you have to love yourself first.

Actually most people lack self love. They put the other party ahead of them and it's alway disastrous.
Romance / Re: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by k2039: 8:11am On Oct 07, 2013
mayten30: And another thing is love grows and not always happening suddenly,someone who u feel does not love you may later love you back,love happens in ways you can't explain,sometimes u say to yourself "I hate this guy or I hate this girl" but after sometime before u know what is happening that same person you feel you hate will become that person you are in love with,love can be crazy at times,love can look stupid at times,love has no reason,when you truly love someone you can't know the reason why you love the person,no one can define love,no one can explain love
,love does not look the colour of her skin,her eyes,her legs,her hair,her mouth and everything on her,love comes from inside the heart,and let me shock u?I have done my own analysis and I feel only very few percentage of people have experienced true love,na true lust many pass oooooo,u see a cute chick and before u know it that feeling start coming in and you start saying to urself am in love,that is not love that is lust or infatuation ,love is when you can't give any reason why u love the person,that moment that you just hate to love her but you can't just control it that loves keep filling ur heart

Any person who waits for love to grow on the others person heart is a loser. In most cases it just like waiting for a ship in an airport.

If a girl/boy doesn't like you, move on, if he/she later comes back to her senses and you aren't engaged to someone else, you can consider him/her.

But never wait for the other party to love you, what if he/she doesn't, you have all to lose.

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