it is not to be

hey not everything can go my way,right?

it just happens that,this particular thingy has never gone my way

am not pissed,funny neither can i say i have resigned to fate

i am just of the opinion that fate is throwing me on a loop

how can one not be lost yet doesnt know where he is?

life is such a twist of mysteries i am not sure i like it

and i am not so sure i would like it if it were not

i feel out of depth yet not entirely consumed

i feel i am on the edge but yet no fear of tipping over

i feel alive,with rekindled hope

mine would be that of not just a happy ending

but a happy journey towards the end too

Moi is confused here o

why the confusion?

A quality engineer married an average girl,

After a tough life with her for two years, he ended with his patience and finally wrote a note to his father in law,

Your Product Not Meeting my requirements. .

The smart father in law replied,

Warranty Expired, Manufacturer not responsible.

ariblaze:

A quality engineer married an average girl,

After a tough life with her for two years, he ended with his patience and finally wrote a note to his father in law,

Your Product Not Meeting my requirements. .

The smart father in law replied,

Warranty Expired, Manufacturer not responsible.

ariblaze:

why the confusion?

your 2 rants b4 this last one got me

dont worry you cant understand it all

go blazeman

its your birthday

we gonna purty

cos its my birthday

we gonna sip barcardi cos its my birthday

you know i dont give a f@#k cos its MY BIRTHDAY!

yep its official for all ya that thought i wasnt human or born of a woman

sorry to dissappoint ya, its a party after work

hit me if you want to mingle

am a lil short of friends

and the love of mi life

well the love of mi life seems to be in the moon right now

but she will be back

and she will pay in cash and err. . . . . . . (i dint say anything o)

Happy birthday, Blaze!

1) Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2) Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3) If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that, one actually enjoys it?

4) There are 3 religious truths:
1-Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah
2-Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith
3-Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

5) Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

6) Why is the man who invests your money called a broker?

7) Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If lawyers are disbarred & clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked & dry cleaners depressed?

9) Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

10) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

11) If American mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons & forks, ever wonder what Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

12) Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

13) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

14) You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Ari, i think it's funny rant we are seeing this year ehn . . .

[size=18pt]Happy Buffday[/size]


Where is d party at?

Subject: Worlds Shortest Fairy Tale



Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said, 'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles
and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and
drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up.

THE END

I can see you are truly clueless or is it boredom now

whatever happened to/at your party?

I like #13 best.

Too bad i missed Ari's birthday
Happy belated Birthday

The below is awesome. I love it, love it, love it. I drop by to say this

Peace

ariblaze:

empty stage

emptier heart

cold world

where has the warmth gone?

where has the lush gone?

why is the light harsh?

why is the fragrance gone?

where is the love?

where is the promise?

what becomes of my heart now?


^{doesnt make eye contact with anyone as he walks out of the arena}

Practice Safe Fax


Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax
complete strangers every day.

Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger?
A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their
phone number.

Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only
allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do you think
someone should be before they can fax?
A. Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure.

Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind?
A. Certainly not. As far as we can see.

Q. There is a place on our street where you can go and pay to fax. Is this legal?
A. Yes, many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and must pay
a "professional" when their needs become too great.

Q. Should a cover always be used for faxing?
A. Unless you are really sure of the one you are faxing, a cover should always
be used.

Q. What happens if I do the procedure incorrectly and fax prematurely?
A. Don't panic. Many people fax prematurely when they haven't faxed in a long
time. Just start over, most people won't mind if you try again.

Q. I have a personal and a business fax. Can transmissions become mixed up?
A. Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but so long as you use a cover with each
one you won't transmit anything you're not supposed to.

Q. Is getting faxed by one person the same as with another?
A. No. Even though many people (especially lawyers) would like you to believe
that the longer they are faxing you the better you will like it. In reality
the best fax is short, of high quality, and very graphic.

Q. There is a man I'd very much like to fax (I've tried several times) but he
can't seem to keep his equipment up long enough. Is there any thing I can do
to help him?
A. You could suggest that he contact a good fax therapist, such as Canon or
Mitsubishi. If he refuses to take the suggestion, it would be best if you just
wrote him off.

Where did u cook this from ari

Wait a min . . . is this suppose to be a rant

no it is not a rant

i am rather derailed at the moment

i am mad at everything now

its frustrating because i am not mad at the world

and i don't have a reason to be mad

i am just mad,it isnt healthy anymore

i know i have mad drive

but what is drive when you aint got direction?

have i said i am mad about being mad?

i am mad because for the life of me i don't know what i excel in

my work can be done by everyone and anyone that has a degree and has being trained

i can't remember what used to give me thrills

i am mad because i haven't identified my talents yet

i am not getting any younger and i seem at a loss

this situation is indeed maddening

but what i know for sure is i am not mad to think this

i am just a mad man for not thinking about it earlier in life

like say when i was 10

This is real abi

No rants for today

Where are all you rantalots

Our dear ariblaze has gone on a romantic visit

I hope he comes back soon

lol

decided to explore the world lol

am very much here

And to think i fasted and prayed for you pipu

I must have been connecting to the wrong god!!

abeg o its 2009, let the rants cease!!!

Lmao!! Welcome back from the prayer ground or is it mountain you went?

Happy New Year oooh!!

Gamine is back. Yippee!

As per the rant, i guess u went to the wrong mountain cos while Sisijinx is willing to pipe low, ari has just begun. Lol

School 1977 vs. School 2007










Scenario 1: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles phones with evidence of fight are confiscated. Both are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Mobile phone video shown on 6 internet sites.


Scenario 2: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and never disrupts the class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Jeffrey drops out of school.


Scenario 3: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper.

1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normally, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.


2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.


Scenario: Mark brings cigarettes to school .

1977 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area. (Not in Naija)

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario: Mohammed fails GCSE English.

1977 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.

2007 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally, insisting that making English a requirement in school is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1977 - Ants die.

2007 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly with American airlines ever again.


Scenario: Johnny falls during playtime and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1977 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy; becomes gay.


------------ --------- --------- --------

And Nigeria.

1977 - Someone plans a coup and takes over the government. Steals all the money. Nothing Happens

2007 - We get to elect government into office. They steal all the money. Nothing happens.

Well at least, things stay the same in Nigeria

U.

the crusty sun

2days no bath

skin scorched

lips cracked,starched uniform almost glued to skin

body looking sullen,eyes big and bulging but ever alert

thats the life of a class 4 boy in nigerian military school zaria

that boy i was once,and the worst day of my life happened during that period

dodging i was,a senior boy caught me

hey you,go to Charlie company and get me . . . . . .

off to charlie i jogged(you aren't allowed to walk as a junior boy)

at charlie,company after the errand on my way out.

hey you another senoir called me

excuse me sir, senior. . . sent me

i bellowed,his soap came flying caught me in the lips

blood sprang out.soap fell into the murky water coming from the toilets

you bastard,he shouted start rolling,into the water i went head first,the grime absorbing itself into my being

i got to him blood and grime staining me,a flying kick from him sent me sprawling back into the stagnant water

that was just the beginning of my worst moment

your mother is a prostitute, yessir

your father is a bastard ,yessir

you are a pig,yessir. . . . .it went on and on,my response yes sir

you have bleeped up my soap

pick it up,the said soap was lux or used to be lux,it was all soak with grime had to feel for it within mud,fungi and water

out it came,you have wasted my soap he said LICK IT YOU BASTARD!

ok,i can take many things but this,lick the soap am not sure

my breif moment of hesitancy caused me a flurry of pain rained from him

my nose bleed, my lips bled

and the soap came to my mouth,the whole bar had to go it

God i cried,the pain from him dint bring tears to my eyes,but the humiliation the diminishing

i cried,hot sobs,stinging salty sobs,as he guided me to suck on the soap

my mouth tasted like ash and sud. . .he made me later get him another soap

i vowed in my heart to kill him someday

i cried to God to kill him for me

he is still alive

his name i have forgotten now

his face i cant remember now

but the pain is still fresh

if not why would i have tears dropping on my keyboard when writing this

God i hate him

i want him to lick soap wherever he is

i want him to be beaten till he cant move

and fresh fish fed to him

i want to kill him

You make an art of this ranting, don't you now?

What's up, house? I'll be back!

Ari,

I don't know what to make of that.

Some people are just plain wicked

the party of the weekend!
the illest shite to be going down!
if u dont go, ur a sucka!
on and on they went
hell the sistah needed some excitement in her life amd the possibility of meeting cute brovas wasnt one she'll pass by,
so off she went, thinking
"what am i wearing for this party?"
she got the shoes that everyone woulda killed for,
the outfit molded itself around the shoes
she was ready!
last minute bailing by a friend did nothing to dash her hopes
scarcity of taxis hyped her up the more
finally! she got there,
paid for her ticket,
walked in,
music so sweet that she started swaying her hips immediately hit her
she was in heaven
cute brother offered to open the last door for her
flashed him her billion dollar smile
walked into the arena. . . .
less than 10 people on the dance floor!!
she asked around, they said the crowd would come
30 mins,
1 hour,
still waiting,
finally, they began to trickle in, rejects of other clubs,
ladies of the night,
highly intoxicated gentlemen,
the remaining "sane standers" like her began to trickle out
bye to the cute guy that had been checking her out since she walked in,
bye to the friend she had been checking out since she walked in
the shoes she adored had become her shackles!
she couldnt make them move fast enough!
back to the house,
sitting at her computer,
writing the story of her worst night out

I knew it would happen
I was ready since last Sunday
I knew the haters would come out in droves
and since I had a target on my back, they are coming for me
Well, I only have one thing to say about it: Just bring it on babes
I was ready when I made him my best friend, I was ready when I made him my boyfriend
I was even ready when all the mud slinging made it to my house, and trust me, I got mad a lot
but now I took a page from my father, when the haters hate, laugh at them, make them hate you more
Nothing you can say to me, nothing you won’t steal my joy! This is what I've been waiting on, so come with your best
and see if you don't get batted down! No matter how you feel about it, ticked and cussing everyone out around you
the point is my clear: You like everyone else must call me the MRS.

@epi

you are a woman with an agenda

i respect that

@bluespice

lalalalalalalalalalalala

you were dancing alone

with all them strangers staring

a warm drink a warm drink

you went back home

you went back home

I'm angry

What is all this love thingy
today, u are in love
tomorrow u are out of love. lol

U fall in love
fall out of love.

Fall in love,
fall out of love.

Fall in love,
fall out of love

Why don't u stay fallen in love
Or just stay out of love

How many times would we fall in and out of love before we eventually settle down.

I hate it when I'm in love and i have to get out of it cos of some circumtances.

Prolly, I should just stay a nun.