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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? (39926 Views)
Please Guys What Advice Do You Have To Give On This Issue / What Advice Do You Have For A 35 Year Old With No Job, No Skill, No Wife . / What Advice Can You Give to Somebody About To Get Married? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by happykidArotiba(m): 1:44am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Xilsbridalhouse:May God bless you abundantly � 2 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Ademola121(m): 1:55am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Pray without ceasing. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Solve issues amicably. Love yourself, love your children, love for spouse will come easy. Fear God. Work hard. Invest for your children. Start building a legacy you would love to be remembered for. Always tell God how you feel. Pray without ceasing 3 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Shokoloko(f): 1:58am On Jun 15, 2021 |
prettyheart: Know why you decided to get married in the first place: 1. Do not marry a man/woman that Is lower your league. Forget I will brush him/her up. I will open a business for him, I will send her to school. Only a small percentage of those relationships are successful 2. Do not marry a man /woman that you are not attracted to. Do not say love will grow. 95% of the time it doesn't. People just resign themselves to fate. If during the date of courtship you do not always feel like (I said feel like, not actually jumping them) jumping your fiance/fiancee backout. 3. Do not marry a foreigner except you have decided that you end your days in a foreign land. If you want to retire in Nigeria do not try this. The spouse and your kids will not come back with you. You will die here alone 4. Do not marry a man/woman that Is disrespectful to househelps, artisans, and less-privileged 5.Do not marry a person whose mother or elder sisters do not like you. That person is a sibling first before a spouse. Na you go tire. 6. Discuss how many children you will have before marriage. Some people will be impregnated until they die and the other spouse is free to remarry their actual choice who will only have 1 or 2 kids. 7. Do not do a total joint account. You are a team and not Siamese twins 8.Set your boundaries. Boundaries determine the level of respect you get in marriage. Do not pretend. If you do not like cooking, say that you do not like cooking but you are willing to do it from time to time. If you do not like to wash say it. If you smoke weed, say it. If you have a child somewhere, say it. If you plan to not let your spouse work, say it. Do not disclose body count 9. Do not try to change your partner. Work with what you see or leave. 10.If you have a misunderstanding, do not decide not to talk about it. Even if you bury it , it will surface 10 years later. Talk about it every night until its sorted out 11. Men, Pregnancy and childbirth stress a woman. Be kind. 12.Find out your spouse's love language. There are five love languages. If you are not loving your spouse in the love language he or she understands. You have done nothing. The love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service and quality time. Because my spouse associated gifts with love, I had to learn to give expensive gifts to him. My spouse bought me a very good SUV before we married, but it didn't mean as much as the two of us in the kitchen: I am washing plates and he is rinsing or we are cleaning the plugs of our generators together. That, to me is more than a car. So find out your spouse's love language Check your love language here https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ 12.Pray, Pray, Pray. There are forces specifically out to destroy marriages 13.God hates divorce, but he prefers you alive and divorced than dead because of domestic violence. You can leave 14. Forget that talk about not bringing in a third party. I and my spouse could not see eye to eye about an issue for 9 years until we brought in a third party 29 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by ibedun: 2:07am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Eriokanmi: What’s the point! I am single and having the best time of my life. |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Nobody: 2:07am On Jun 15, 2021 |
I have been married for few years now. My ADVICE goes to the Hardworking Guys out dia, PLEASE AVOID WOMEN at all cost. IF you detect any trait of STUPIDITY please DUMP straight away, don't negotiate, don't pardon. As a MAN, you can settle for BABYMAMA, It favours you more by ensuring you retain your RESPECT and Freedom. MARRIAGE engulfs your freedom and exposes you to tantrums. Some may misinterpret it. D MOMENT u land a bad woman which is likely in dis era, u start seeing ur siblings as enemies. A single BAD WIFE can destroy every ancient heritage ur great grand fathers built in ur family. Imagine if FLAVOUR & TIMAYA had married, by now we would have been Hell. D BEST remains get dem pregnant & take up d responsibility of ur child. With dat no woman born of a man will limit ur aspirations. THIERRY HENRY did it & got it right. EBUOE of Arsenal failed & he lost it all. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Sorsilo4life(m): 2:16am On Jun 15, 2021 |
1 marry someone who really fears God. 2 marry someone whom to some extent understands the scriptures. 3 Marry someone whom u see as a friend. whom u can just be with and not think of having sex. dat kind friend wen be say una two fit talk story from morning till night. that person wen u dey urge to see so that una go just dey gist. romantic love fades with time, that ass and boobs go soon become used to u. after consecutive banging everyday u go loose interest. At this point u go start to dey notice other girls outside.(YAWA GO SOON BURST 4 YOUR LIFE). At this point regret will start setting in. u go kon dey notice some bad characters wen u been nor notice, at this point u will start spending more time with friends. b4 u know children don come and u start living for them.(YOUR TIME DON DEY PASS). b4 u know u don dey old. if u and your spouse are not besties, u wont enjoy your marriage to the fullest. once romance and good looks fade all u will have is friendship(this one hardly fades) 12 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by SoNature(m): 2:17am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Flier: Please this is FALSE 6 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Sorsilo4life(m): 2:19am On Jun 15, 2021 |
1 marry someone who really fears God. 2 marry someone whom to some extent understands the scriptures. 3 Marry someone whom u see as a friend. whom u can just be with and not think of having sex. dat kind friend wen be say una two fit talk story from morning till night. that person wen u dey urge to see so that una go just dey gist. Romantic love fades with time, that ass and boobs go soon become used to u. after consecutive banging everyday u go loose interest. At this point u go start to dey notice other girls outside.(YAWA GO SOON BURST 4 YOUR LIFE). At this point regret will start setting in. u go kon dey notice some bad characters wen u been nor notice, at this point u will start spending more time with friends. b4 u know children don come and u start living for them.(YOUR TIME DON DEY PASS). b4 u know u don dey old.if u and your spouse are not besties, u wont enjoy your marriage to the fullest. Once romance and good looks fade all u will have is friendship(this one hardly fades) 1 Like |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Loverboy3333: 2:21am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Lamanii22: That's where a second wife should come in 1 Like |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by ubola: 2:21am On Jun 15, 2021 |
It's 2 different things. Dating her as a single dude and marrying her. As a single guy you can take unilateral decisions, manage 1k for 2days and stay at your lane to avoid trouble. Whereas in marriage, your spouse may decide to originate problem either by using abusive words on you, comparing you to her ex who's doing better and even calling you a lazy ass, thereby facilitating your death unconsciously. If you don't have a good shock absorber, you may have High Bp and die young. As a man, always hustle hard so as to call the shots, don't depend on her money to avoid tantrums. Also examine her libido level, if it's higher than yours, just run away cuz you'll die trying to satisfy her in bed. This is one of the reasons we have more widows than widowers. Be guided! 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by CHoccolaTE: 2:30am On Jun 15, 2021 |
My advice is to the ladies, Marriage to the modern crop of Nigerian men is crap. 80 percent of them are selfish and self centered and don't want to provide for their wives but they expect her to be obedient, submissive, to answer their surname, to ruin her beauty and physical appearance with childbirth and the children will also answer their papa surname too. You will literally spend the rest of your life cooking and cleaning and keeping his damn house in order but they don't want to give back anything in return to their wives. If they do it's with reluctance and they want to be praised and worshiped for it. You girls reading this, better open your eyes and don't be deluded, majority of males are selfish and all your romance fantasies you watched on your Zee world and Korean drama can never work in real life marriage. Don't expect too much from men, many of them literally think women were created for men and not the other way round. There is a real and very high risk of your husband cheating on you so don't go into marriage with overly high expectations, males know they can get away with cheating on ther wives so they do it with impunity. Also get a source of income to make yourself independent of your husband so you will not have to take maltreatment from him because he's the one providing everything for you. Regardless of what societal or religious laws teach, males DO NOT like to provide for their wives for the rest of their lives after marriage, they resent the idea of providing for a woman all the days of her life so if you depend fully on them, they will take that resentment out on you if they can. And do your best to marry a kind and compassionate man. Many men are evil and wicked but women love deceiving themselves that men are saints so when you face reality after marriage you go begin dey cry as if the truth was not staring you in the face all along. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by ChiefSweetus: 2:31am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Xilsbridalhouse:Actually lovely 1 Like |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by abike12(f): 2:31am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Ladies, stay single until you find someone that respects you, respects women in general and understand his role as a husband in the Bible (if you're Christian). Don't ever marry a stingy man, there's no love without giving, especially with men. 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Kaybae(f): 2:31am On Jun 15, 2021 |
prettyheart:. Marriage sometimes is sweet and sometimes the other way round. Huuuu, married for almost 10years and everything was going smoothly and just few months ago my husband started some behaviors, fast forward to recently I picked up his phone and what was their was so disgusting, and this is a man that behave like a saint and sometimes castigate his friends that do cheat..... You can never predict what will happen next in marriage. How I wish I can write it up on nairaland. 9 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Kaybae(f): 2:38am On Jun 15, 2021 |
todaynewsreview:. Huuuu, no matter what, some men will still cheat, imagine a man saying he only does it on phone but don't have physical contact..... Anyway some married men still value their marriage and will always protect it. All men are not same, just that it's hard to see one that is 100% faithful and honest. May God makes it easier for all singles. 2 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by CHoccolaTE: 2:42am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Kaybae:So sorry about that, many of them are like that. Don't let him ruin your happiness, try to find joy in other things. Many married men don't know what fidelity means apart from say na name of bank. 5 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by cunny88(m): 2:45am On Jun 15, 2021 |
If u don't have money, neva delve into marriage |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by kevwemike: 2:45am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Marry ur best friend, I mean ur very best friend, and a woman that love the things of God because of ur children. 3 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Kaybae(f): 2:52am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Eriokanmi:. Are you telling me men are saint, yes we have small percentage that are, but why is it that it's only women people do point accusing fingers at..... I have been married for almost 10years, my husband is not staying where I stay, being faithful, loyal, sincere, respectful, just name it, going through each pregnancy all alone, but despite all this he is still cheating, always on his phone chatting with different girls, he will leave me alone, pretending to be tired and go to his room to sleep but check on him later, u will meet him on the phone. When he wakes up, he will first send good morning massages to all his girlfriends, and always behaving like an innocent. This is the only man I use as pray point whenever I pray, sometimes, I don't even pray for my children and myself........ This is the man that will always tell me, he doesn't understand his health so we should stop having sex, which I agree cos I don't want to hurt him but caught him with condom of recent and lied he just took it out without any intention..... So many...... Don't always blame women alone in marriages, I have never reported him for any one in the last 10years of marriage but I was forced to do so to his parents recently cos I feel betrayed. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Nobody: 2:54am On Jun 15, 2021 |
You are GUARANTEED to likely lose your peace of mind immediately after marriage. GUYS be wise. So Love carefully. The 1ST thing a bad wife attacks is ur FREEDOM. The 2ND she offers is disrespect. The LAST you experience is mental torture... Then peace of mind would have eluded you. 13 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Kaybae(f): 2:55am On Jun 15, 2021 |
SimplyFacts:. God bless you, some just laugh outside but it's hell inside, am a typical example..... 2 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Abujason: 3:01am On Jun 15, 2021 |
IF YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE, WHY BUY THE WHOLE COW? STAY SINGLE! prettyheart: 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Kaybae(f): 3:04am On Jun 15, 2021 |
CHoccolaTE:. Thanks so much, it's been hard honestly cause, because of marrying him I stop having friends because he never wanted it, despite the fact that he works in another state, I will be all alone with my kids after work and even weekend, all because I want to satisfy my husband.... It is well, he already told me he never sign agreement of only me ..... Can't believe all these after years. 2 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by Nobody: 3:07am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Abujason:I'm a married man but I don't attend weddings again. I prefer 2 grace Birthdays & oda occasions. Each time I see MEN being lured to the altar, I start weeping. The chances of landing a Good woman is slim. Meanwhile, as a single man with 2kids from any willing lady, you will prosper beyond measure. It takes only ONE BAD WOMAN to destroy all the bridges built across families ties & lines. Just ONE is enough. It's only a woman that can soil the formidable relationship between Male identical twins. 10 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by CHoccolaTE: 3:15am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Kaybae: Oh he told you he didn't sign agreement of only you? Did he sign agreement of going behind your back to cheat before you married him? Nigerian men na their way be that, they cannot own up to faults and apologize when they get caught cheating they will either try to deny it or blame you the woman. Find happiness elsewhere like your kids or your hustle or hobbies don't let him get the idea that his actions are making you sad, live a happy fulfilled life and ignore him, na that one go pain am pass when he sees that you don't give a shit about him. Anyway just use your intuition and do what you think it's best, I was giving advice based on how I would act in similar situation. I can never let a selfish man spoil my happiness. 5 Likes |
Re: Married People: What Advice Do You Have For Singles? by ojonugba2014(m): 3:22am On Jun 15, 2021 |
Belial06: Alaye go and sleep . U talks too much |
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