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We Quarrel Because Of Sex - Family - Nairaland

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Woman Who Slept With Male Best Friend Following Quarrel With Husband, Seeks Help / My Wife Slaps & Beats Me Whenever We Quarrel, Denies Me Sex. I'm Fed Up! / Some Damaging Words My Wife Said During A Quarrel (2) (3) (4)

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We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Gobdddd(m): 9:37pm On Sep 09, 2021
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

116 Likes 11 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:40pm On Sep 09, 2021
have you ever taken the time to ask her what she desires/likes in the bedroom?! did you guys dated before marriage? how was the sexual part then? was she ever enthusiastic about sex or was it always like that?

if you could manage for 9yrs then..... hang in there bro!

whatever goes through your mind, unless you wanna divorce the babe or get a second wife, anythging else isnt worthy!

188 Likes 9 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by longetivity(m): 9:43pm On Sep 09, 2021
Me fight over sex this era of pussy God forbid

122 Likes 11 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by shawante(m): 9:46pm On Sep 09, 2021
Pastor nobody is perfect.. You of all people should know that.

If low libido is her only problem then I think you can at least bear with her on that cuz am sure you have your own shortcomings which she overlookes.

At least thank God she is not cheating on you

344 Likes 14 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by 1Outreach: 9:47pm On Sep 09, 2021
Ok

1 Like 1 Share

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by ayomilore: 9:48pm On Sep 09, 2021
Bro. Don't spoil your marriage because of what you can fix. I heard there are some recipes that improve libido, try it, you can watch some adult films together too, try serious romance prior to your lovemaking, I believe there should be improvement...
But your wife will be good for all these abroad hustlers ooo that are scared of all these local predators..

174 Likes 13 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Kobojunkiee: 9:49pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.
.....
So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.
Alot of things have been going through my mind.
I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.
Pls is there any known solution?
I need help.
1. What exactly are you confused about ? What is it that you really expect your wife to do in this case? undecided

2. You claim the marriage is dwindling but from your explanation, the problem is not the marriage but your sudden expectations that is the issue... undecided

3. You claim you are a pastor but it seems you are suddenly letting your body pull the strings as far as your decision making. You married a virgin and it turns out she is not as enthused about sex as you are, what do you want? For her to turn into a porn star in bed after 9 years and 4 kids? undecided

295 Likes 20 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Botking: 9:49pm On Sep 09, 2021
Retired man , 4 kid already, 9 year of marriage

Retired in peace

Fucus in other things in life

Sex is not food

That's how the body of women become after many kids,

Sex will be sweet to her again when she gets to her 50th

200 Likes 7 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Gobdddd(m): 9:50pm On Sep 09, 2021
Time without number.
She doesn't even know what she desires or likes about sex.

If found out that there's pre marital sex, my Church will cancel the marriage and make it look very dishonorable.
So,I can't risk that.

From the first day, she was afraid of it.

Never showed any interest afterwards, despite spending our honeymoon at Obudu cattle ranch.

Our last babe is 2. We have closed childbearing.

We are supposed to be catching fun.


MrBrownJay1:
have you ever taken the time to ask her what she desires/likes in the bedroom?! did you guys dated before marriage? how was the sexual part then? was she ever enthusiastic about sex or was it always like that?

if you could manage for 9yrs then..... hang in there bro!

whatever goes through your mind, unless you wanna divorce the babe or get a second wife, anythging else isnt worthy!

24 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Kobojunkiee: 9:51pm On Sep 09, 2021
ayomilore:
Bro. Don't spoil your marriage because of what you can fix. I heard there are some recipes that improve libido, try it, you can watch some adult films together too, try serious romance prior to your lovemaking, I believe there should be improvement...
But your wife will be good for all these abroad hustlers ooo that are scared of all these local predators..
Improve whose libido? The woman is not the one complaining that she doesn't have a healthy enough libido.. the man is. So unless you are trying to exacerbate issues, stop it! undecided

11 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by godliman: 9:52pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

If I were you, I will make the most of it. Like it or not, not every woman is sexy. If she doesn't deny you your conjugal rights, if she doesn't cheat, if she is not frigid or complain about your poor performance, why should you bother when she is not complaining. Satisfy yourself and let life go on. Sex is even over rated. I consider you lucky. Many homes are in crises today over wives complaining of husbands not satisfying them forcing many men into taking sex enhancement drugs.

136 Likes 5 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by delzbaba(m): 9:52pm On Sep 09, 2021
After four children her libido must have reduced, you self pipe low on the sex issue haba theres more to life than sex.

53 Likes 4 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by godliman: 9:55pm On Sep 09, 2021
ayomilore:
Bro. Don't spoil your marriage because of what you can fix. I heard there are some recipes that improve libido, try it, you can watch some adult films together too, try serious romance prior to your lovemaking, I believe there should be improvement...
But your wife will be good for all these abroad hustlers ooo that are scared of all these local predators..
Adult movies is a no go area, it will utterly ruin your marriage. Don't try it!

100 Likes 2 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by godliman: 9:55pm On Sep 09, 2021
ayomilore:
Bro. Don't spoil your marriage because of what you can fix. I heard there are some recipes that improve libido, try it, you can watch some adult films together too, try serious romance prior to your lovemaking, I believe there should be improvement...
But your wife will be good for all these abroad hustlers ooo that are scared of all these local predators..
Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Davash222(m): 9:56pm On Sep 09, 2021
A married pastor with 4 kids and you're still bothered about sex

With this Buhari economy, you still thinking about the quality of sex from your wife after 4 kids?

Your main concern shouldn't be about the quality of sex as a man of God. You have 4 kids, concentrate more on them and how to convert many souls to Christ. Leave quality sex for worldly people, Sir.

126 Likes 7 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Kobojunkiee: 9:56pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
Time without number.
She doesn't even know what she desires or likes about sex.

If found out that there's pre marital sex, my Church will cancel the marriage and make it look very dishonorable.
So,I can't risk that.

From the first day, she was afraid of it.

Never showed any interest afterwards, despite spending our honeymoon at Obudu cattle ranch.

Our last babe is 2. We have closed childbearing.

We are supposed to be catching fun.
1. You married her a Virgin.. probably sought her out for exactly that reason too. So what do you expect she will know of sex or what there is to want of it. undecided

2. A woman is not a dog that you teach "tricks" to. And honeymoon is not meant as a period to teach sex lessons to a wife but instead a time for both to enjoy each other.. undecided

3. You closed childbearing - she delivered on that end- and now you expect to have fun and you expect the woman to now automagically deliver on that now too? undecided

28 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Gobdddd(m): 9:57pm On Sep 09, 2021
It's not sudden expectation bro.

It's something av been enduring for long.

Besides, when you have a situation that seems deteriorating with your lover, just for a day, it usually seems it has taken decades.

Kobojunkiee:
1. What exactly are you confused about ? What is it that you really expect your wife to do in this case? undecided

2. You claim the marriage is dwindling but from your explanation, the problem is not the marriage but your sudden expectations that is the issue... undecided

3. You claim you are a pastor but it seems you are suddenly letting your body pull the strings as far as your decision making. You married a virgin and it turns out she is not as enthused about sex as you are, what do you want? For her to turn into a porn star in bed after 9 years and 4 kids? undecided

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by crackhaus: 9:58pm On Sep 09, 2021
Since you say you're a pastor, my usual kind of professional advice in a situation like this cannot apply to you.

However, let me burst your brain small...

You see this problem you say you have? It's not a big problem at all.

As long as she's still opening her legs for you and she does not deny you sex anytime you need it, then you can survive.
Forget about whether she's enjoying it, or if she's enthusiastic about it. Just do what you went there to do, cúm your cúm and sleep afterwards.

Maybe she didn't expect that a pastor sef will have so many kinks about love-making.

71 Likes 3 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:59pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
Time without number.
She doesn't even know what she desires or likes about sex.

every person knows what they desire about sex, you just havent ask the right questions and/or open the right door to her fantasies. here is a clue: you have done the same things for 9yrs unsuccessfully, what about going into another direction?!?!? do things differently, approach the issue in a different manner.

If found out that there's pre marital sex, my Church will cancel the marriage and make it look very dishonorable.
So,I can't risk that.

then i suggest you blame your church, and not your wife...

From the first day, she was afraid of it. Never showed any interest afterwards, despite spending our honeymoon at Obudu cattle ranch.

... and did you take your time to let her open up to you, or just mount her regardless of her fears/insecurities in lovemaking?!?!? probably your wife was emotionally damaged for good as the result of not taking your time to understand her.

We are supposed to be catching fun.

how can you catch fun when you dont even know what turns your woman on? the fun your are talking about is ONE SIDED. thats selfish to think that because its fun for you, it should automatically be fun for her too. brotha, you have to put yourself in your wife's shoes and try unlock the blockage that she gets. communication, care, time, understanding... and more communication is what is needed here.

here is a simple clue: after 9 years, you still dont know this woman (aka stranger).

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by OKOATA(m): 9:59pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
Time without number.
She doesn't even know what she desires or likes about sex.

If found out that there's pre marital sex, my Church will cancel the marriage and make it look very dishonorable.
So,I can't risk that.

From the first day, she was afraid of it.

Never showed any interest afterwards, despite spending our honeymoon at Obudu cattle ranch.

Our last babe is 2. We have closed childbearing.

We are supposed to be catching fun.


If church finds out, will the church open your stomach or mouth to know you guys had sex? I think the problem with most people is that when they tend to be too holy and allow some form of people to have control over them they start feeling that they can't do their own thinking without the higher authority calling the shots for them.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Kobojunkiee: 10:01pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
It's not sudden expectation bro.

It's something av been enduring for long.

Besides, when you have a situation that seems deteriorating with your lover, just for a day, it usually seems it has taken decades.
Look, according to you, she hasn't changed since you married her, so she is not the problem here but your expectations of her is. These things aren't magical in nature.

So, what you should be asking yourself is how do you continue to live with things as they have always been. You claim it is deteriorating but your own words say what has been deteriorating is instead your patience. undecided

12 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Kobojunkiee: 10:03pm On Sep 09, 2021
crackhaus:
Since you say you're a pastor, my usual kind of professional advice in a situation like this cannot apply to you.
......
Maybe she didn't expect that a pastor sef will have so many kinks about love-making.
Abi oo!

ROFLMAO
grin cheesy grin cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy grin cheesy cheesy

8 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by godliman: 10:05pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.
I envy you frankly, I wish I have this kind of wive. Sex is over rated, it is not worth skinning a man for. This problem will fizzle out by itself as you age and your libido falls. Don't destroy your family over what will pass off with time.

32 Likes 2 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by SUPERPACK: 10:05pm On Sep 09, 2021
Gobdddd:
Time without number.
She doesn't even know what she desires or likes about sex.

If found out that there's pre marital sex, my Church will cancel the marriage and make it look very dishonorable.
So,I can't risk that.

From the first day, she was afraid of it.

Never showed any interest afterwards, despite spending our honeymoon at Obudu cattle ranch.

Our last babe is 2. We have closed childbearing.

We are supposed to be catching fun.

what's the name of your church? I think I need a wife from there ASAP. Wetin I dey find for Sokoto don land for Shokoto like this.
Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Polynek(m): 10:08pm On Sep 09, 2021
This is why courtship is very important b4 marriage, but wait oo U said 9yrs? And u haven't complained in d early stage of d marriage, why now?

6 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Kobojunkiee: 10:11pm On Sep 09, 2021
Polynek:
This is why courtship is very important b4 marriage, but wait oo U said 9yrs? And u haven't complained in d early stage of d marriage, why now?
How in the world could courtship have helped in this case? undecided

9 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Polynek(m): 10:15pm On Sep 09, 2021
Kobojunkiee:
How in the world could courtship have helped in this case? undecided
Really!! so someone can ask me such question? If your fiance is displaying such attitude during courtship, it is in your hand to accept or move away from the relationship. If the Man observe Her attitude towards sex in there courtship day's and He didn't say anything, then He has Himself to blame.

7 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Taich(m): 10:23pm On Sep 09, 2021
This is the answer. "9 years four kids". The rate at which you are going, you are gunning for 10years 5kids and the prenancy toll on the poor woman's body is making her to close her legs. I think you should have a discussion with her about family planning options first.
That's the problem pastor.
Every year since you married this woman, is either she is pregnant or visiting labour room. Get a hobby like football, lawn tennis or other out activities that will take your mind off sex.

16 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Kobojunkiee: 10:23pm On Sep 09, 2021
Polynek:
Really!! so someone can ask me such question? If your fiance is displaying such attitude during courtship, it is in your hand to accept or move away from the relationship. If the Man observe Her attitude towards sex in there courtship day's and He didn't say anything, then He has Himself to blame.
You assume that everyone's definition of courtship includes sex games, right? undecided

And you didn't expect me to ask you this question to ascertain the mindset with which you approach the issue of courtship? undecided

Newsflash, just because a woman acts like a IndecentStar during your courtship periods does not mean she will act the same way through marriage.. so be careful that you are not easily deceived by that too. undecided

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Ahmed0336(m): 10:36pm On Sep 09, 2021
Oga manage her like that. Naso we too dey manage our own

10 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by Polynek(m): 10:40pm On Sep 09, 2021
Kobojunkiee:
You assume that everyone's definition of courtship includes sex games, right? undecided

And you didn't expect me to ask you this question to ascertain the mindset with which you approach the issue of courtship? undecided

Newsflash, just because a woman acts like a IndecentStar during your courtship periods does not mean she will act the same way through marriage.. so be careful that you are not easily deceived by that too. undecided
A real man will b able to know what His fiance is capable of doing with ur experience during counting, courtship is a period of examination of ur partner consciously and unconsciously

2 Likes

Re: We Quarrel Because Of Sex by ezugegere(m): 10:40pm On Sep 09, 2021
I don't know why this is a problem to you. You have a good woman. You have 4 kids. Your wife gives you sex but you're not satisfied the way she gives you. I guess you have eye on one sister outside. Be careful before you destroy you home man! What if you marry a woman that denies you sex? Would you kill yourself?
As a Christian, please pray for the spirit of self-control

36 Likes

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