deturla:
Have you ever felt like committing suicide based on depression before?

You'd just draw blank, after sadness has enveloped you for so long.

You'd not be able to think of anything else. Just within your shell, you'd grow cold.

The pressure of the pain, the hurt reaches a high, one that only you can feel. No one else can.

Then...

The thought of suicide filters in, and you'd come to make peace with yourself.
Shebi, death will make all the pain go away.

The peace that that comes with the realization of dying will be overwhelming that nothing else will matter at that point.

That's why it's never easy to pull someone from the throes of suicide.

For those who have won suicide, you are the real MVPs.

How did you deal with it?
How did you help yourself?

Can we learn from you?

cc: lalasticlala, mynd44

Just think about the effects it would have on ur parents.. Then u will abolish the thoughts

deturla:
Have you ever felt like committing suicide based on depression before?

You'd just draw blank, after sadness has enveloped you for so long.

You'd not be able to think of anything else. Just within your shell, you'd grow cold.

The pressure of the pain, the hurt reaches a high, one that only you can feel. No one else can.

Then...

The thought of suicide filters in, and you'd come to make peace with yourself.
Shebi, death will make all the pain go away.

The peace that that comes with the realization of dying will be overwhelming that nothing else will matter at that point.

That's why it's never easy to pull someone from the throes of suicide.

For those who have won suicide, you are the real MVPs.

How did you deal with it?
How did you help yourself?

Can we learn from you?

cc: lalasticlala, mynd44

Yes I have dear. But I thank God for making me to rise above it.

Merry Christmas to you deturla

And I wish you the best of years so far in 2022

I once did and thought about it but I started using alcohol, drugs and sex to pass those feelings until I focused on career, Career and responsibility made everything better. A sense of true purpose and prayers work

deturla:
Have you ever felt like committing suicide based on depression before?

You'd just draw blank, after sadness has enveloped you for so long.

You'd not be able to think of anything else. Just within your shell, you'd grow cold.

The pressure of the pain, the hurt reaches a high, one that only you can feel. No one else can.

Then...

The thought of suicide filters in, and you'd come to make peace with yourself.
Shebi, death will make all the pain go away.

The peace that that comes with the realization of dying will be overwhelming that nothing else will matter at that point.

That's why it's never easy to pull someone from the throes of suicide.

For those who have won suicide, you are the real MVPs.

How did you deal with it?
How did you help yourself?

Can we learn from you?

cc: lalasticlala, mynd44

.




Had it about 3-4 times on my life .. believe me it took a lot to fight it back ..

Time,Family and prayer

deturla:
Have you ever felt like committing suicide based on depression before?

You'd just draw blank, after sadness has enveloped you for so long.

You'd not be able to think of anything else. Just within your shell, you'd grow cold.

The pressure of the pain, the hurt reaches a high, one that only you can feel. No one else can.

Then...

The thought of suicide filters in, and you'd come to make peace with yourself.
Shebi, death will make all the pain go away.

The peace that that comes with the realization of dying will be overwhelming that nothing else will matter at that point.

That's why it's never easy to pull someone from the throes of suicide.

For those who have won suicide, you are the real MVPs.

How did you deal with it?
How did you help yourself?

Can we learn from you?

cc: lalasticlala, mynd44

How did it go? Well I died and I am typing this from hell

2018 was crazy.
Got disillusioned with work, lost interest and resigned from my 80k monthly brand developer job.
Girlfriend disappeared into thin air when she heard i resigned.
Had my first major debt, after getting an omen laptop, close to 400k and i had 2 months to pay.
Fell back into drinking and smoking habit.
Lost someone i respect so much.
Got kicked out of my apartment as money wasn't forthcoming.

I remember wanting to poison myself, get hit on the express or drown myself.
Being 22 and Atheist didn't help either. Religious folks at least have some imaginary force to draw courage from or cry to.

I asked myself what would happen to my dad or my lil sis if i went away.
I hadn't even achieved half the things on my goal lists. Family and progress is the only thing that kept me going. To be a man, no be one day job.

Never for once.. maybe cos I'm contented, always grateful for life and have learnt not to rely much on people.

If you don't do more than yourself, don't womanize or visit bet shops, then suicide thoughts might never cross your mind.

this is a true life experience
My big brother is in Europe and since he left my father has been threatening to do terrible things to my family, We are 6.4girls and 2 boys.
I am the 2nd son, so I love fighting like mad and I once fought my dad due to bad attitude towards my mum.
I've attempted suicide several time.
1. When I was in jss1 back then in the late 2016s
My parents were financial stable like comfortably stable to provide family needs, so I decided to steal some money, I stole during school days around 18-25k and my mum observed it and started complaining and I denied all allegations against me.
There was my big bros classmate that always persuaded me to get money and at last we'll eat the money and we bought bicycle, gameboy, ps, etc
My big bro was aware of my lavish spending but seems like he didn't want to expose me.
So one day I was going to school, i was searched thoroughly and they got some money from me and i felt like crap that day, i was flogged, beated mercilessly.

When I got to school that day I joined scripture union by force and prayed to God from the bottom of my heart to keep my parents mouth shut(cause I didn't like public disgrace). Later that day I felt disgusted that he told the entire world and I felt like the ground should open and swallow me.


So I decided to do something terrible by pressing my eggs till I die but I couldn't help it was so painful so I try stabbing myself and it was worst so I lived on
I'm grateful I overcame that painful experience.
P.S:the haunting of stealing still follows me till now
The still think I steal especially my dad but I'm over theft since a year and I'm proud of myself.



2.and3. This one is different from others as I was ready to kill during this heart breathing moment
Firstly, It was due to public embarrassment, bad grade in school and fatal physical, mental, physiological and spiritual harassment.
I tried hanging but my room's roof is too small to size me so I searched painful ways to die on Google and I got a stupid message say please call someone and talk about it, so I then researched about drug abuse.
The same hour I went to a pharmacy and bought pain killer 2packs and paracetamol 1pack and I drank it all.
So the same day i went to school and started vomiting and I rushed home having severe headache and pain all over.
Before that I made a suicidal video on my iPhone 7 and wrote a suicidal message writing my phone password on it so that when I'm dead my big bro will see the video and avenge my death.
But u suppose know as a black Nigerian man, drug overdose no de gree kill person.

Naso I overcome this one




4. The last but not the least
It happened this year and this particular month precisely 2nd Sunday of this month around to9
When my dad told me to wash glass cups and I was busy so I told him to send my junior sisters and he refused to send them and insisted that I wash it, so I refused and he gave me a hot slap 3times and I stood there looking at him in public, I was so embarrassed if knife was close I would have stabbed him but I holt myself and enter to my room and locked it.

Few minutes later I needed some to talk to and cry about it and my mum sent a man to meet me after the whole advice he gave me, I wept and wept and decided to commit the suicide of my life.

I quickly got a strong rope that could lift me and decide to try death my hanging, after knotting the rope I went to places with high elevation from the ground and couldn't find a quiet place to die
So I moved to a small kitchen inside my family house, it was small but I say make I manage am.
Then I tried the rope around my neck and was ready to push out chair I uses to stand.
Then I started thinking and crying about what my mother and siblings will feel when I die, so I proceeded to pushing the chair and bam I started choking and was looking for where to balance and later supported myself and regained consciousness after some minutes.
I thank God that I'm still alive today
The thing that saved me that day was the thinking about my mum and siblings reaction when I pass away, I'm 16 years and then I calculated, If I die then 16 yes in wasted,resources, food and everything wasted and most importantly time wasted on me, so I could not just die a shameful and poverty death when my mum is still alive so I said no and the main thing that saved me is the chair I used to get balance if not I no for the tell you my experience
Kudos to you all reading
You can reach me via nzubechi2005@gmail.com
I'll really appreciate anyone that helps me with something cause now I'm a proud owner of a startup business
I thanks God for life and please if you feel like talking to someone chat me on nzubechi2005@gmail.com cause no one will ever give u an advice as I'll give you cause I've escaped suicide more that 10 times, I just gave u ppl some of my attempts that I remembered.
Thanks

Yes. Infact, it takes courage to live this life. Whosoever that thinks living this is easy, that person is very stupid. Behind that smile could be filled with unexpressed pains, agony and sorrow.

For me I have never tried to commit suicide . Not that I have not gone through any hard time but anytime I pass through difficulties I say to myself "Esther, the same way the good times came and was replaced by the bad times so also this bad times will pass, yes it will pass" And after praying and even shedding tears I get ready for the next big thing.
The truth is that they is nothing you are passing through that others haven't experienced but you can win if only you can stop seeing your bad experience and start seeing Jesus and the amazing and beautiful life you want to live. You can be a part of something bigger. Incase no one have told you these" You are loved, indispensable, blessed and highly favored". They all pass, it will pass too

MisterKennedy:


Yes I have dear. But I thank God for making me to rise above it.

Merry Christmas to you deturla

And I wish you the best of years so far in 2022

Same to you, broda.
Do we know one another outside NL?

qtguru:
I once did and thought about it but I started using alcohol, drugs and sex to pass those feelings until I focused on career, Career and responsibility made everything better. A sense of true purpose and prayers work

wow!

We thank the heavens.

redstaarx:

.




Had it about 3-4 times on my life .. believe me it took a lot to fight it back ..

How did you fight back?

Negroid001:
2018 was crazy.
Got disillusioned with work, lost interest and resigned from my 80k monthly brand developer job.
Girlfriend disappeared into thin air when she heard i resigned.
Had my first major debt, after getting an omen laptop, close to 400k and i had 2 months to pay.
Fell back into drinking and smoking habit.
Lost someone i respect so much.
Got kicked out of my apartment as money wasn't forthcoming.

I remember wanting to poison myself, get hit on the express or drown myself.
Being 22 and Atheist didn't help either. Religious folks at least have some imaginary force to draw courage from or cry to.

I asked myself what would happen to my dad or my lil sis if i went away.
I hadn't even achieved half the things on my goal lists. Family and progress is the only thing that kept me going. To be a man, no be one day job.

Family is everything!

Zubby2005:
this is a true life experience
My big brother is in Europe and since he left my father has been threatening to do terrible things to my family, We are 6.4girls and 2 boys.
I am the 2nd son, so I love fighting like mad and I once fought my dad due to bad attitude towards my mum.
I've attempted suicide several time.
1. When I was in jss1 back then in the late 2016s
My parents were financial stable like comfortably stable to provide family needs, so I decided to steal some money, I stole during school days around 18-25k and my mum observed it and started complaining and I denied all allegations against me.
There was my big bros classmate that always persuaded me to get money and at last we'll eat the money and we bought bicycle, gameboy, ps, etc
My big bro was aware of my lavish spending but seems like he didn't want to expose me.
So one day I was going to school, i was searched thoroughly and they got some money from me and i felt like crap that day, i was flogged, beated mercilessly.

When I got to school that day I joined scripture union by force and prayed to God from the bottom of my heart to keep my parents mouth shut(cause I didn't like public disgrace). Later that day I felt disgusted that he told the entire world and I felt like the ground should open and swallow me.


So I decided to do something terrible by pressing my eggs till I die but I couldn't help it was so painful so I try stabbing myself and it was worst so I lived on
I'm grateful I overcame that painful experience.
P.S:the haunting of stealing still follows me till now
The still think I steal especially my dad but I'm over theft since a year and I'm proud of myself.



2.and3. This one is different from others as I was ready to kill during this heart breathing moment
Firstly, It was due to public embarrassment, bad grade in school and fatal physical, mental, physiological and spiritual harassment.
I tried hanging but my room's roof is too small to size me so I searched painful ways to die on Google and I got a stupid message say please call someone and talk about it, so I then researched about drug abuse.
The same hour I went to a pharmacy and bought pain killer 2packs and paracetamol 1pack and I drank it all.
So the same day i went to school and started vomiting and I rushed home having severe headache and pain all over.
Before that I made a suicidal video on my iPhone 7 and wrote a suicidal message writing my phone password on it so that when I'm dead my big bro will see the video and avenge my death.
But u suppose know as a black Nigerian man, drug overdose no de gree kill person.

Naso I overcome this one




4. The last but not the least
It happened this year and this particular month precisely 2nd Sunday of this month around to9
When my dad told me to wash glass cups and I was busy so I told him to send my junior sisters and he refused to send them and insisted that I wash it, so I refused and he gave me a hot slap 3times and I stood there looking at him in public, I was so embarrassed if knife was close I would have stabbed him but I holt myself and enter to my room and locked it.

Few minutes later I needed some to talk to and cry about it and my mum sent a man to meet me after the whole advice he gave me, I wept and wept and decided to commit the suicide of my life.

I quickly got a strong rope that could lift me and decide to try death my hanging, after knotting the rope I went to places with high elevation from the ground and couldn't find a quiet place to die
So I moved to a small kitchen inside my family house, it was small but I say make I manage am.
Then I tried the rope around my neck and was ready to push out chair I uses to stand.
Then I started thinking and crying about what my mother and siblings will feel when I die, so I proceeded to pushing the chair and bam I started choking and was looking for where to balance and later supported myself and regained consciousness after some minutes.
I thank God that I'm still alive today
The thing that saved me that day was the thinking about my mum and siblings reaction when I pass away, I'm 16 years and then I calculated, If I die then 16 yes in wasted,resources, food and everything wasted and most importantly time wasted on me, so I could not just die a shameful and poverty death when my mum is still alive so I said no and the main thing that saved me is the chair I used to get balance if not I no for the tell you my experience
Kudos to you all reading
You can reach me via nzubechi2005@gmail.com
I'll really appreciate anyone that helps me with something cause now I'm a proud owner of a startup business
I thanks God for life and please if you feel like talking to someone chat me on nzubechi2005@gmail.com cause no one will ever give u an advice as I'll give you cause I've escaped suicide more that 10 times, I just gave u ppl some of my attempts that I remembered.
Thanks

Amazing stuff.
I sincerely hope you have gotten over this.

deturla:


How did you fight back?

Well thinking of the aftermath neutrally really helps
Thoughts of how my family will miss me .. I'm a role model to my two younger brothers .. they really love me and look up to me
My mum .. it could kill her
My dad too
My sis will cry her eyes out .. I'm the one person she links up with most
My close friends
And even God will be dissapointed in me because it's a huge sin to take one's life

Then you think of being strong and face whatever made you think suicide was the solution

Music also helps



That's how I conquered such thoughts even last year November * that was the 4th time it happened to me *

But actually the more it happens the less harder it is for me to stop such thoughts

deturla:


Same to you, broda.
Do we know one another outside NL?

No dear

But I just saw your beautiful profile pic and I was impressed. And I just thought to say hi

My dad messed up my life right from my early age, always treating me with disgust, always fighting with my mum and picking on stuffs that's not making sense. Damn, if I should count, I attempted suicide more than 6 times, I was a bright kid in primary school till junior secondary, but experiencing this shit turned me to a beast, I literally gave up on life and was living recklessly, not scared of death. As I grew older, I became more stronger, no suicide but entering the journey to be a man, My experiences made me older than my age, infact I have been moving with guys older than me and they seek advice from me.
As long as the heart keep beating, You are still capable of doing things to move your life either positively or negatively.

It happen in August 2020

I finished my nysc 2019 only to find my self doing security work at my church. And this was the church i grow up from so imagine seeing my childhood friends and other little kids seeing me as a security, I needed money but it would have been better if i had the security work somewhere else and not in my church.

On that very day i develop cold and stomach upset, every second i want to use the toilet (people who have gone through depression will understand this symptoms) I talk to a deacon in a church who advise me and refer me to a therapist. Right now am grateful to God for allowing me go through that security work because it though me lot of lesson and i have a story to tell. "Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life". KJV provebs 4 vs 23

Firstandonly:
It happen in August 2020

I finished my nysc 2019 only to find my self doing security work at my church. And this was the church i grow up from so imagine seeing my childhood friends and other little kids seeing me as a security, I needed money but it would have been better if i had the security work somewhere else and not in my church.

On that very day i develop cold and stomach upset, every second i want to use the toilet (people who have gone through depression will understand this symptoms) I talk to a deacon in a church who advise me and refer me to a therapist. Right now am grateful to God for allowing me go through that security work because it though me lot of lesson and i have a story to tell. "Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life". KJV provebs 4 vs 23

Thanks for sharing this.