bukatyne:


A number of Churches request for these tests during counselling and the couple gladly obliges them.

I don't know the hullabaloo with the father's request.

Especially since it is a virtual relationship, the guy (who would be more mature here) should have said they go for those tests as soon as he thought her eligible for marriage.

The OP needs to lead his relationship and take initiative.

I thought this is only done in my church. Lol, these people will investigate everything even a member's tithe card to ensure both couples are financially okay for marriage.

Lol, you won't even need a father or mother to request for such tests before you tender them yourself.

pocohantas:


This was never in contest. I guess you replied the wrong post.

So what's the debate here Poco.
That the father shouldn't have requested for it? You are confusing me.

Persephone1:
I thought this is only done in my church. Lol, these people will investigate everything even a member's tithe card to ensure both couples are financially okay for marriage.

Lol, you won't even need a father or mother to request for such tests before you tender them yourself.

Persephone1:
So what's the debate here Poco.
That the father shouldn't have requested for it? You are confusing me.

pocohantas:


That it is normal for him to be afraid/hesitant to put it to her. Very normal.

Oh I get it, I apologize for misunderstanding you Poco. Of course you may be but for some of us lol we won't be

Church things

Persephone1:
Oh I get it, I apologize for misunderstanding you Poco. Of course you may be but for some of us lol we won't be

Church things

bukatyne:


I sight my fellow RCCG member.

Then the pregnancy test two days to the wedding at a hospital of their choice.

Some pastors even vet the house the couple intend to move to & they have a age band; 21yrs for women & 25yrs for men. Though I don't know if they would make exceptions sha.

Wahala won po!

Lol how did you get that?

Oh they can be very serious with weddings.
On house I think t they encourage couple to live in at least a room and parlour not a single room and there is age band. I remember when my big sis got married, the fact that mum was pastoring a church then and sis was getting married to someone from another denomination the vetting no be here

But it's a good thing though

bukatyne:


I sight my fellow RCCG member.

Then the pregnancy test two days to the wedding at a hospital of their choice.

Some pastors even vet the house the couple intend to move to & they have a age band; 21yrs for women & 25yrs for men. Though I don't know if they would make exceptions sha.

Wahala won po!

Persephone1:
Seconded!

The fact that the father requested the test from his son shows he has no bad intentions here.

With what some ladies are into these days, I will request same if I'm a guy.

pocohantas:


How about you pay an investigator to find about yourself? Majority of you diasporans will use your hand to come for homebased partners, then peace of mind would depart them. Save yourself the stress and marry there.

The guy is 38 and SINGLE, but na the girl you wan pay to investigate. So the OP hasn't visited another woman's house since he was born? Diasporans always claiming spotless by virtue of foreign citizenship. Na all these girls wey fit die to marry abroad guy una fit do this one for. Bunch of narcissists!

cococandy:
She’s even doing him a favor. Small small he will clock 45 and still wait for his dad to tell him what to do.

Persephone1:
Seconded!

The fact that the father requested the test from his son shows he has no bad intentions here.

With what some ladies are into these days, I will request same if I'm a guy.

pocohantas:


Hahahaha. He has a blue passport na. They are untouchable and perfect. Person wey we suppose investigate for the girl sef.

oldienavie:

Are you saying the church asks for fertility tests for intending couples ?

If not that Nigeria is a lawless country, the church would have been closed down in a sane society.

Peoples medical history is not anyones business and the fact the church is demanding for it is against the law as your medical record should be confidential.

Why is the church not conducting virginity tests instead of pregnancy test if they are not hypocrites?
So someone who is pregnant and chose not to abort will be denied wedding but someone who aborted is worthy of marriage.

You see the hypocrisy in that action ?

ednut1:
lol the volunteer to pay part na joke o. To me any guy wey don pass 35 and never married na red flag too 🤣🤣. Poverty and hardship dey the land many people both men and women dey find who to use for japa. Me I expect a 38 years old guy who don tey for usa which is one of the divorce capital of the world to be wiser o , girl wey you never see 🤣

Persephone1:
Lol how did you get that?

Oh they can be very serious with weddings.
On house I think t they encourage couple to live in at least a room and parlour not a single room and there is age band. I remember when my big sis got married, the fact that mum was pastoring a church then and sis was getting married to someone from another denomination the vetting no be here

But it's a good thing though

cococandy:



What are some ladies into these day’s that’s so different from the past or even worse than what men are into?
Only asking because I’ve seen a few comments talking about what the ladies are into. Anyway it’s a rhetorical question. You may not mean anything by it but I just know how threads like these slowly devolve into Nigerian women insult fest even if it’s unintentional.

That being said, fertility test for women is not as simple as that for men. A man’s sperm count and hormone levels can easily be checked via blood sample and a sperm specimen in a jar. Female hormones can be easily checked too and they’ll tell you all is well. But the Egg count may or may not be easy to check depending on location of the lady. What about structural integrity of the uterus and fallopian tubes? Also depends on her location. And those are even more important than hormone level because you can achieve fertilization all you want due to normal hormones level but implantation will never occur due to conditions in the fallopian tube and uterus that you can’t see in a blood test. Sometimes invasive ultrasound is the only way to check for those. What if she doesn’t want to go that far?

You are right, the lady should do some investigation too ( nobody holy pass) for the father to even request for his son fertility self raises eyebrow. Why did he do that? Is op struggling with any sickness? But I decided to input my thoughts from the males perspective because he created the thread, he needed the response. Don't worry Coco this thread won't generate into insult for women , op get too much for body. Lol First he will have to explain to we council of elders what he was doing till 38 before he could get a woman and why he is reluctant to ask his online lover for necessary test and also why he is eager to marry an online lady without meeting her physically first.

You explaining it this way gives me shivers, scary. She has every right to reject the request but I believe intending couples should be plain with each other to avoid unnecessary issues. It's the same way I will investigate the death of a widower's wife if I consider getting hitched with one. The past is just as important as the presence of a person.

Persephone1:
You are right, the lady should do some investigation too ( nobody holy pass) for the father to even request for his son fertility self raises eyebrow. Why did he do that? Is op struggling with any sickness? But I decided to input my thoughts from the males perspective because he created the thread, he needed the response. Don't worry Coco this thread won't generate into insult for women , op get too much for body. Lol First he will have to explain to we council of elders what he was doing till 38 before he could get a woman and why he is reluctant to ask his online lover for necessary test and also why he is eager to marry an online lady without meeting her physically first.

You explaining it this way gives me shivers, scary. She has every right to reject the request but I believe intending couples should be plain with each other to avoid unnecessary issues. It's the same way I will investigate the death of a widower's wife if I consider getting hitched with one. The past is just as important as the presence of a person.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

Gerrard59:
Another fairytale from Seun and his boys. So, a 38-year-old man does not know that fertility tests are important prerequisites to be married? That he needs to make it known to a public forum.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.

Klass99:
@ Beekind,

I am genuinely surprised that you are dragging your feet about this test and being reluctant about it. I expect you to be the one taking the initiative here and not your father!

Even as a lady I have always had it at the back of my mind to initiate, suggest and insist on this kind of tests for a potential spouse. And if a man drags his feet or displays any funny behaviour about getting tested I will be gone like the wind because I am not desperate for marriage.

Additionally, I will not accept just any test results he presents to me, people have be known to fake results. You will either go to a hospital of my choice or a doctor friend of mine, where I know a bribe won't be accepted and test results can't be tampered with. Test results will also be presented directly to me by the hospital not you, my expectations will not be one sided as I will submit myself to the same rules of scrutiny too. I like myself too much to be joking with my life and well being the way you want to.

When I was in University an older guy who wasn't a student wanted to take his relationship with a certain lady to the next level (I don't know if that meant sex or marriage) but he wanted her to get tested for HIV first. Three times she failed to show up for the scheduled test/appointment at the hospital, it's possible she already knew her status or she was afraid to find out. People with nothing to hide or fear will always make themselves available for medical tests of any kind.

PS: Kindly note that my post is not about your girl being in Naija or being a Nigerian. If she was from Kinshasa or both of you were in obodo or Naija, I would still say the same thing. And if I were her you will get tested too by my hospital of choice, it won't matter if you've lived in US for 50 years.

Gerrard59: