Hello, fam.
Today, we’re going to mess around with Nigerian
hip hop. You know, I used to be one of those so
called ‘hip hop heads.’ If it wasn’t Methodman,
Redman, Scarface, Rakim, Pac , Biggie,Big Pun,
S laughterhouse or some underground rapper that
98% of the population didn’t know, I wasn’t
bumping it. We were the hard kids in baggies
dissing the skinny jeans kids.


Then with the
emergence of rappers like Modenine, M.I and the
Terry tha Rapman, I decided to give Nigerian hip
hop a chance. I remember hearing Modenine’s
‘Pentium IX’, my mind was blown. I remember
staying up all night to hear M.I’s ‘Talk About It’
over and over again.


More so, as I grew older, I realized that music is
essentially about the melody. So any musician
that could make me nod my head and move my
feet is cool with me. All those hard rappers
talking about how they kill people and smoke all
day have no claim on me no more. Don’t get me
wrong, I still appreciate talent. I still invest my
data more on conscious and underground music
than the mainstream ones. I’m just not as stiff as I
used to be. No more forcing myself to hate an
artiste just ‘cause he has lots of fans. poo, I’m into


Wizkid now and I think Solid Star is probably
Nigeria’s most underrated artiste.
I enjoyed my relationship with Nigerian hip hop
for a while. Then the money started coming and
they started running out of Ideas. Witty
punchlines were replaced by watery ones. When
you try and raise this, the rappers will call you a
hater who’s just hating on their success, like Mr
Incredible said in his latest single, ‘Chairman,’
“have you eaten today? Then why are you hating?”


This piece is just to let them know that
we the fans are disappointed in them for putting
in far less time thinking of intelligent punchlines
than they do drafting lists of rich men to praise in
their next single (refer to M.I’s ‘Chairman’ and
Iceprince’s ‘Northerner’). Ladies and gentlemen,
Nigerian hip hop is the
new Fuji.


If your favourite rapper is herE, please don’t be
mad at me. I’m not saying they’re wack, i’m just
saying that particular line is. And if you feel these
aren’t wack, please forgive me, I have high
standards. If you feel you have heard wacker
punchlines, feel free to use the comment section.



10. “Life is not fair, I’m thinking of how to bleach”
– ICEPRINCE, NIGERIAN BET CYPHER, VARIOUS
ARTISTES
The amazing thing is that people actually think this
is clever. Like what the Bleep does this even
mean? How does your bleaching help life get fair?
This looks like something I would have written at
age ten when my now rested dream of being a
rapper was just conceived, definitely not what
you want to put on BET cypher where ‘killers’ like
Modenine and X.O Senavoe will be on. Yeah,
everybody loves Iceprince but it’s not because of
his clever lyrics, it’s because he comes out with
monster hit songs……… once in three years.



9.“You leave me messed up, now I’m feeling like
a fart” – VECTOR, ‘TICKLE ME’ ft Chuddy K We all
love Vector. Nigga has mad tracks under
his belt. Raise your hands if you still bump ‘Get
Down’. The Bar-Rack mixtape had its highs and
lows. It boasts of ‘Stay Scheming’ ‘Intro’ and
‘Tuwo’. But most of the tracks were just fillers. I
think he’s trying too hard with the metaphors. I
blame the people around him who tell him “men,
that poo is drugs!”
Like really?! Messed up and feeling like a fart?
Apart from the fact that it’s generic, it’s plain silly.
We love you Vector, but not all tracks should be
released.


8.“I really wish we last long, Anaconda.”
ICEPRINCE, ‘MORE’
Here is our beloved Iceprince again. I find it
difficult commenting on this one because the
stupidity speaks for itself. Dude, you don’t have
to come up with corny Bottom punchlines like this
just because you want to rhyme. Truth is, this
whole list could have been made of bad lines
from this song alone, but I’ll just use this one as a
point of contact. Brother Iceprince should have
just written a love letter to the babe jeje instead of
infesting our airwaves with this song.


7. “ I’m so
fly, my plane never lands. Like Michael
Jackson’s park, Neverland” – PHENOM, ‘OMO
NAIJA’
I actually love the ‘Omo Naija’ track, mostly
because of its infectious hook. Maybe I’m just
hating on this line because I expected more from
Phenom.
First of all, ‘i’m so fly, my plane never lands’ was
wack, then dude had to go on and explain
‘Never land’ to us. Who the Bleep did you make
the track for, five year olds? If this was a
freestyle , I wouldn’t mind but I’m sure this was
written, and so he must have been pretty
impressed with the line for him to release it.
Let me kick a rhyme for Phenom.
Dear Phenom, this is sad,
Like Michael Jackson’s death, sad.



6. “Na jollof music, no be rice and stew” – LYNXXX,
‘EZIOKWU’ Ft Various Artistes.
I poo you not, brethren, Lynxxx actually said
that.
I think he should join Nollywood. His nice
physique will be a welcome replacement for the
pot bellied, mid-fourties lead actors we have.
Because, truth is he’s bleeping up the music
industry and his looks is the only thing giving
him any sort of buzz. The nigga has never
impressed, either intentionally or otherwise.
Some might say he was just having fun but I say
this is lazy writing. If you want to get away with
lines likes like this, make highlife music.
With lines like this, little wonder there’s nobody
looking out for any new Lynxxx music.



5. “IF YOU’RE SLEEPING ON ME, IT MUST BE
UNDER-
COVER/ GET IT?”- X.O SENAVOE-TAXI MUSIC
The only thing worse than this punchline is the fact
that X.O actually had the nerve to repeat the
line then asked “get it”?! What in the actual
Bleep?
This line is TOO BASIC to even repeat or even ask
us if we get it!
Music lovers are not retards,STOP asking us if we
get silly and corny lines!
He just had to mess up an otherwise good track
with a line like this…..please,no more punchlines
that sound like you’re rapping for an autistic
audience.



4. “LIKE A CALENDAR, I’VE GOT DATES”- PHYNO
FT OLAMIDE. – GHOST MODE
Wait…wait…wait, can you feel your brain cells
dying already?? Fam, this here is just a shame,
let’s work with this punchline and provide phyno
with more punchlines…
“Like a toolbox, I’ve got tools” (._.) Oga Sarz,oya
gimme one mad beat, I’ve arrived!
Bonus dead punchline by phyno- “my beat is the
killer-serial” WTF ??


3) “I’M MILK IN THE GAME,
NO TEA HOMIE”- ICE
PRINCE, JUJU
And its a hattrick for the rapper everyone loves!
I’m starting to suspect Iceprince is dating a
kindergaten chick….nothing else can explain
these kind of sappy lines. Please call the
pallbearers…there’s a deadline
here waiting to be buried. Iceprince is really great
at outdoing himself…
If you still have a brain at this point, I
congratulate you,proceed to the last two lines
with utmost caution…


2) “THESE NIGGERS SPASTIC
RHYME, MIKE TYSON”-
REMINISCE, OMO NAIJA REMIX
I’ve played this line like 50million times and it still
makes absolutely no sense.
So,I’ve been forced to conclude that in the
struggle to rhyme, Reminisce just coined one of the
stupidest punchlines ever.
To be fair to be him,he seemed to be totally out of
depth throughout the song…still, its unfair to pry
our ears with totally senseless poo cos you
wanna prove you can spit punchlines in English.


1) “WHEN YOU HEAR TO-TO, TONTO DIKE”-
ERIGGA FT OLAMIDE, PAPER BOI
I swear to God I didn’t make this up…a Nigerian
rapper actually said this!! Wait let’s play this
again….
“When you hear to-to, toto dike”
Fam,are you still waiting for a punchline deader
than this?
His name’s Erigga, Mr. “The gbana wey I dey
smoke big pass ur fan base” (._.)
Y’all better get out of here while you still have
brain cells….
And if you’ve got punchlines deader than these,
feel free to drop a comment….

Read Erotic Stories here www.86wiz.com

Ice Prince - EFCC come chase my guy

Hahahaha, these rappers are really awful! Meh, Nigeria producing sh-tty rappers since 1914.

The thing is unless you're looking to rap along you won't even notice the lyrics. It's mostly about the beats

Hmmmmm you havnt talk idris abdulkareem

My dumbest of all time remains 'JUST LIKE RICE AND BEANS, EVERY MAN AND WOMAN MUST MIX.....wtf! I can't really place the artiste now.

There is a difference between word play and punchline... Op, please note
Some of the lines up there are good. If you fault them , then i think you have plenty of lines to take down.
My opinion though.

Lol.
Hip hop has changed a lot since the 90s and early 2000s. It was wonderful, when it spoke about the societal ills, then it became manageable when it spoke about violence and guns, then it became barely tolerable when it started talking about nothing but money and bltches. And then it became Nigerianized. The End

Hialrious!!

i dont understand this. what of Pasuma and Obesere

Otey u dey dere dey hate....punchline ko headline ni...ma lo wa ise se

SPEEDEPITOME:
My dumbest of all time remains 'just like rice and beans, every man and woman must mix...wtf!

Some of the lines up there are good. If you fault them , then i think you have plenty of lines to take down.
My opinion though.

I need 2 packets of paracetamol.. Gush!

i gety money for My briefcase oh oh #by our very own OBO..... Very wack and stupid...
(2) draw ur face for My HEART who de do TATOO, if the manchine no de shey Dem fit use CASHEW #by Eriiga....... ........

(3) the only time i de draw na when i eat okro #by BLack maggic ........

(4) i no they let them pass me like party rice, erigga you too bad you be anti-Christ! #by erriga ......

(5) i they like girls with big booty, CHuK am for DICCK call am CHUKWUDI #by Eriiga again...

(6) baby yu de drive me crazy, continue with ur speed of 190 #by erigga ..

(7) My punchline bad pass like wen needle enter ur prick hole #by erigga..

(8 ) My flow sweet pass when you the spy who they fvck #by erigga......

(9) na Clarence peters de shoot video, we no manchine gun we de shoot #by erriga.

(10) one second this, one second that, i no they write this so you gaz record that, #by OLamide, very wack..

(11) you know we started from the ghetto, now we get oh, shey una know,#by patoranking.......... ....

Make i stop for here now, when the thread mak FP i go add more, i never even start...

It shouldn't be just copying and pasting but copying,pasting and editing.

More reasons I aint concern about the lyrics,I would rather dance to the beat.

Nigerian rappers,saying rubbish since infinity.

rubbish or no rubbish, dumb or no dumb the fact remains that they get paid. #owo wo le wa

StevinMorgan:



I need 2 packets of paracetamol.. Gush!

Headache? Sorry.

SPEEDEPITOME:
My dumbest of all time remains 'JUST LIKE RICE AND BEANS, EVERY MAN AND WOMAN MUST MIX.....wtf! I can't really place the artiste now.

Some of the lines up there are good. If you fault them , then i think you have plenty of lines to take down.
My opinion though.

Sound Sultan n Tubaba....Enter the place

Aint a fan of any

mondob2k:

Sound Sultan n Tubaba....Enter the place

Thanks. That was Sound Sultan's line.

lol....naija rappers be like...
Baby you a lizard? kos AGAMA eyes on you! rubish!

Profcamsey:
i dont understand this. what of Pasuma and Obesere

Are pasuma and Obesere rappers?

Do they sing in English?

Are u kidding with this silly question?

Or are just plainly dumb?




Kweshions for the gods

Neldrizzy:
i gety money for My briefcase oh oh #by our very own OBO..... Very wack and stupid...
(2) draw ur face for My HEART who de do TATOO, if the manchine no de shey Dem fit use CASHEW #by Eriiga....... ........

(3) the only time i de draw na when i eat okro #by BLack maggic ........

(4) i no they let them pass me like party rice, erigga you too bad you be anti-Christ! #by erriga ......

(5) i they like girls with big booty, CHuK am for DICCK call am CHUKWUDI #by Eriiga again...

(6) baby yu de drive me crazy, continue with ur speed of 190 #by erigga ..

(7) My punchline bad pass like wen needle enter ur prick hole #by erigga..

(8 ) My flow sweet pass when you the spy who they fvck #by erigga......

(9) na Clarence peters de shoot video, we no manchine gun we de shoot #by erriga.

(10) one second this, one second that, i no they write this so you gaz record that, #by OLamide, very wack..

(11) you know we started from the ghetto, now we get oh, shey una know,#by patoranking.......... ....

Make i stop for here now, when the thread mak FP i go add more, i never even start...

Lwkmd. Who d hell is this Erigga? Did he actually said "My punchline bad pass like wen needle enter ur prick hole #by erigga.." And all d oda lame arzed lines?, then he should be banned from entering the studio ever again. Wtf,

This rappers got no deliveries like blackberry on s.o.s...Lol...phenom comparing rap delivery to s.o.s since 1940..
I throw my money in the air..skye bank-iceberg slim.
I stii shine in the dark,so all they do is luke like the chapter after mark-yung6ix
you fit play monkey post with monkey?-Lynxxx

Neldrizzy:
i gety money for My briefcase oh oh #by our very own OBO..... Very wack and stupid...
(2) draw ur face for My HEART who de do TATOO, if the manchine no de shey Dem fit use CASHEW #by Eriiga....... ........

(3) the only time i de draw na when i eat okro #by BLack maggic ........

(4) i no they let them pass me like party rice, erigga you too bad you be anti-Christ! #by erriga ......

(5) i they like girls with big booty, CHuK am for DICCK call am CHUKWUDI #by Eriiga again...

(6) baby yu de drive me crazy, continue with ur speed of 190 #by erigga ..

(7) My punchline bad pass like wen needle enter ur prick hole #by erigga..

(8 ) My flow sweet pass when you the spy who they fvck #by erigga......

(9) na Clarence peters de shoot video, we no manchine gun we de shoot #by erriga.

(10) one second this, one second that, i no they write this so you gaz record that, #by OLamide, very wack..

(11) you know we started from the ghetto, now we get oh, shey una know,#by patoranking.......... ....

Make i stop for here now, when the thread mak FP i go add more, i never even start...

[img]http://media2./media/775s7pb4DxJtu/200_s.gif[/img]

.

Nigeria rap ain't even rap and they all rap alike,American rappers rap different styles,Snoop's style is entirely different from Gucci Mane's Jeezy's from Chief Keef's Oj Da Juiceman's rap is entirely different from E-40's hyphy style,Canibus scientific lyrics makes him stand out,Big Pun's multi syllabics,Freck Billionaire's punchlines are so tight that you'd think he got his lines from aliens,Rakim rhymes brilliantly that you would think he did 10 years of research to make an album,2 Chainz way of rhyming like life is so easy makes him totally stand out and always have fans laughing,Fabolous soft steady rhymes are so beautiful that you'd want to hear something new from him,everybody knows Meek Mill for shouting and rhyming about struggling and trying to make it big,been hungry for success and they way he yells it makes you know how much he needs what he wants and that inspires hustlers,makes us love him,countless of them,they all have their own styles and are really smart about it,but Nigerian rappers and singers always rap about silly things and always over-compliment girls like they're seeing girls for the first time,i see that as ways of filling up songs they have no lyrics,they just have stupid fill ups,and talk about same subjects all the time

Profcamsey:
i dont understand this. what of Pasuma and Obesere

lol i dnt understand this too,pasuma and obesere ke

Wiggle wiggle wiggle.

Also,ive noticed Nigerian rappers and singers are always talking about "I be fine boy" lol,that shit is just funny like wtf? I've never heard the likes of Nas,French Montana,Jeezy or even white male popstars saying things like that,is it like our entertainers are feeling insecure or is it that they're not exposed? Nigerian music sux

phynos line....like a calendar I got all your DATES is actually a lil creative, its double edged with two meanings.........a la.....date......girls....got it?.....strike it from that list