FynBabe:
You are the same as Fxwarrior. The same person with two different monikers talking thrash.

fyne babe on a serious note our ministry is realy moving make I withold my bride price or move ahead am waiting for ur response oh!

FynBabe:
You are the same as Fxwarrior. The same person with two different monikers talking thrash.

You sound so pathetic. Seriously this is all you can reason out. You don't impress me at all.

Jahblessme:
On page 2 of this thread,saponification mentioned that the man spends 200k per month when he gets back into Nigeria but when hes back abroad he sends 50k.
I'm sure he sat down to do market survey and measured everything before arriving at the 50k.

If this is not a clear case of aradite syndrome, I dunno what else is.
The woman had better go out and hustle so her kids don't end up counting groundnut and grains of rice per meal when they grow up.

The issue of the man spending 200k monthly when he came to Nigeria wasn't part of the original post and as such could not be used as a basis of our argument. Op only stated that later. We shouldn't forget she's a third party and may not be exclusively privy to such info. Its only what her friend told her she could be armed with. Her friend, presently, can be considered as a disgruntled housewife. It would not be entirely unexpected to see her lament about how much he spent on himself. Meanwhile in actual fact, it may may not have been "monthly" as alleged but just for the period he stayed . When you visit home after a very long time in naija, expect to spend something close to that amount. Unless you are going to hide yourself away from family and friends. It would almost be impossible for you not to be unavoidably lavish for the few moment you gonna spend. Especially if u be guy wey been dey always socialise and spend some time out in bars with couple of friends prior to your relocation to the states. Trust my naija peeps, throughout your stay here they'd open both "bar and office" on you.

The lady should keep her cool. She should be grateful to God she's gat a responsible hubby.

She should have a chat with her hubby on establishing a biz for her.

.

Fxwarrior:


Be kind enough to outline their prices.
Our parents raise some of us and were themselves raised on far less.
Are you telling me there are people whose monthly salary is not 20k and are happily married? Its all about adjustments.

Every one must not be scraping to survive, people do have standards. If this man has the money, let him improve the allowance, simple.

OP, please ask your friend the type of work her hubby does. She is demanding not knowing his work or financial status... you never know how he is living where he is so take it easy with him.

armyofone:
OP, please ask your friend the type of work her hubby does. She is demanding not know his work or financial status... you never know how he is living where he is so take it easy with him.

Exactly. And the man should be honest to her as well. If he has the money, of course he would send more to his family. Obviously he doesn't have it. She should accept it and find a business to do. House rent is paid for, school fees too. I mean he has tried.
She doesn't need to drive a car either, nor use the gen everyday. When did Nigerians start using gen like water when you know you don't have the money?
Those that do not work, shouldn't complain.

Since the 50k, excludes school fees and house renT , the woman should strive to manage it, except she is certain the man can afford way more than that.

I have read all the contributions and in my view, 50k can still be enough and still cater for mild indulgence)

i tried to create a possible list, subject to adjustment though)

Fueling Generator/ servicing - 4k

Car fueling /servicing - 7k

DSTV - 3k ( at least kids can watch cartoon networks and other interesting .... )

PHCN /security levie - 2k

Exigencies/ Emergencies- 5k

Toiletries for self - 2.5k

Baby formula/ food- 5k

Pampers - 2k

Potable water- 1.5k (over 15 bags of "pure" water)

basic food stuffs/ soup making - 10k

clothe items for kids/mother on average/month -- 5k

cooking Gas refilling - 3k.

TOTAL SUM--------------------------50K

Caveat: I am not married, there might be somethings i am not seeing that someone else might be seeing, kindly share, do not slander my list.

emiye:
Since the 50k, excludes school fees and house renT , the woman should strive to manage it, except she is certain the man can afford way more than that.

I have read all the contributions and in my view, 50k can still be enough and still cater for mild indulgence)

i tried to create a possible list, subject to adjustment though)

Fueling Generator/ servicing - 4k

Car fueling /servicing - 7k

DSTV - 3k ( at least kids can watch cartoon networks and other interesting .... )

PHCN /security levie - 2k

Exigencies/ Emergencies- 5k

Toiletries for self - 2.5k

Baby formula/ food- 5k

Pampers - 2k

Potable water- 1.5k (over 15 bags of "pure" water)

basic food stuffs/ soup making - 10k

clothe items for kids/mother on average/month -- 5k

cooking Gas refilling - 3k.

TOTAL SUM--------------------------50K

Caveat: I am not married, there might be somethings i am not seeing that someone else might be seeing, kindly share, do not slander my list.

With this your list, hunger will finish herself and kids.
Start keeping a proper list of your expenses as from today. You will be marvelled at wat you spent.

50k can never be enough for a mother with 2 kids and a car to maintain.
Pack car one side or sell it and start a biz ,use gen only wen its necessary, she should just drop that mentality of living big just becos her husband is abroad. Her focus should be on how much is on ground.

chidyhels:

With this your list, hunger will finish herself and kids.
Start keeping a proper list of your expenses as from today. You will be marvelled at wat you spent.

50k can never be enough for a mother with 2 kids and a car to maintain.
Pack car one side or sell it and start a biz ,use gen only wen its necessary, she should just drop that mentality of living big just becos her husband is abroad. Her focus should be on how much is on ground.

So how much does your own husband give you? 200k abi?
Some women who receive lesser and are using it without complaining. Be coming here to claim Dangote wife.

I said a soup for 1 week can be cooked comfortably with 1k and even dared any of these women to ask me how so I can outline the condiments and current prices.

NOW I tell you a stew lasting for a week can be cooked with 1500 naira with enough chicken. I dare any woman here to doubt so I can spell out the condiments with current prices.

Now how many women here have vegetable or fruits garden at home? Do you know you can grow it, sell and make 5k or more from it? It pains me when I go to a family that built their own house and yet not a single plant is there. What you see are weeds and then the madam of the house will cross legs and be sipping juice while watching big brother africa. The hubby will wake up as early as 6am to go to work. He will give her 10k for weekly food. The bags of rice, garri, beans , yam are there.Yet she will be nagging.

The thing with women is never start what you can't continue with. For example you were giving her 100k monthly and then reduced it to 40k. You are aradite to them. Don't they have savings?

Fxwarrior:


So how much does your own husband give you? 200k abi?
Some women who receive lesser and are using it without complaining. Be coming here to claim Dangote wife.

Hehehe
Am just being realistic here
I foot my bills and I know how much I spend on myself, talk more of when car and children are involved.

chidyhels:

Hehehe
Am just being realistic here
I foot my bills and I know how much I spend on myself, talk more of when car and children are involved.

By how much you foot on yourself I guess you mean buying different gold necklasses, ear rings, watches, fast food joints and bars if you drink, cinemas, clothes, exorbitant shoes, costly perfumes etc. These are vain things. Are they wants? Yes
Are they neccesities? NO

Won't you live if you forfeit some of them?

emiye:
Since the 50k, excludes school fees and house renT , the woman should strive to manage it, except she is certain the man can afford way more than that.

I have read all the contributions and in my view, 50k can still be enough and still cater for mild indulgence)

i tried to create a possible list, subject to adjustment though)

Fueling Generator/ servicing - 4k

Car fueling /servicing - 7k

DSTV - 3k ( at least kids can watch cartoon networks and other interesting .... )

PHCN /security levie - 2k

Exigencies/ Emergencies- 5k

Toiletries for self - 2.5k

Baby formula/ food- 5k

Pampers - 2k

Potable water- 1.5k (over 15 bags of "pure" water)

basic food stuffs/ soup making - 10k

clothe items for kids/mother on average/month -- 5k

cooking Gas refilling - 3k.

TOTAL SUM--------------------------50K

Caveat: I am not married, there might be somethings i am not seeing that someone else might be seeing, kindly share, do not slander my list.

Heheheheh, bro where do you stay? PHCN-2K for where? I can't remember the last time i paid less than 8k for monthly PHCN "levy" (levy, cos even if you don't stay in that house for months they'd bring just same amount for you).
That lady should sell that damn car. In Nigeria, cars are not meant to be owned by people without any flow of income.

GetUmad:


Heheheheh, bro where do you stay? PHCN-2K for where? I can't remember the last time i paid less than 8k for monthly PHCN "levy" (levy, cos even if you don't stay in that house for months they'd bring just same amount for you).
That lady should sell that damn car. In Nigeria, cars are not meant to be owned by people without any flow of income.

Well, if the family has a pre paid meter, or better still if d bill is too heavy than expected, she might lodge complain with the apportioned marketer, their mobile numbers are usually on the bill, and in many cases i know, a reduction is effected.

As to d car, it is optional, but it might be useful in transporting kid(s) to school and back for greater comfort., 7k per month will mean the car use is limited in my view., because evidently she must not spend more than 5k in fueling the car and the remaining 2k saved for car service

chidyhels:

With this your list, hunger will finish herself and kids.
Start keeping a proper list of your expenses as from today. You will be marvelled at wat you spent.

50k can never be enough for a mother with 2 kids and a car to maintain.
Pack car one side or sell it and start a biz ,use gen only wen its necessary, she should just drop that mentality of living big just becos her husband is abroad. Her focus should be on how much is on ground.

Maybe, she might have to park the car, but she will need to judge the situation properly, i know a car is an extra baby.

I am the one running myself, so i have a fairly good view of how my expenses go monthly, the real war is the usual urge for indulgence that leads to overshooting budget.

@Getumad
So a man should comfortably lavish 200k on himself just cos he came back from jand? Is he not living above his means and giving the wrong impression to his wife and others? Is it not smarter to put that money to good use by making sure his children's needs are met to the dot?
As far as I'm concerned,it's irresponsible and the needs of your family should come first instead of showing off what you don't have.Please take a look at that list and tell me if it's not very tight for someone with 2 children who doesn't have a job?
Clothes for 5k for 3 people? phcn 2k For a month It's ridiculous.Errrr,the stew for one month,won't it be in freezer?If she doesn't run the gen how will she preserve it? Or is she supposed to be warming it everyday with the 1month kerosene?If she ditches the car,how will the kids get to school?Okada? Is that not dangerous?Is it not more stressful and expensive to be going via public transport daily?(this one I don't know)

As I said,if one isn't struck by abject poverty, it's dangerous mentally to live with this sort of extreme rationing.There always has to be room to manoeuvre Cos of miscellaneous stuff that could come up.

She needs a job/biz asap cos this list is kponkious.


Fxwarrior,no offense meant but you seriously sound like an extremely stingy person.The good thing though is that you are also likely to be stingy to yourself so in this regard,you are better than the man.
There's nothing wrong with someone who can't manage with the 50k monthly as long as they can afford it.Your friends wife with large expanse of land who isn't gardening shouldn't be paining you so much,not everyone cares for gardening.If they complain,its not your biz nawww.Its them and their hubby.
I know you believe yourself to be a realist,but from what you write I feel like your own realism has over stretched.

Please,make sure your future partner is like you or at least knows your rationing power.
I would go crazy if my husband talks this way.I'd only be okay if we are dirt poor and have no other choice.

Meanwhile, make the 50k budget for the family.Emiye has done his own.It might actually be useful for those who truly don't have an option

@Emiye,the pampers won't be enough? for 2k how many will be in a pack.I was in Naija a while back and had to buy wipes for the baby.It was 500 for one which would just last a week especially with a small baby.You forgot recharge cards for phone abi she won't call the 'abroad' husband.What of uniform for the kid?textbooks?school bag and accessories? Kids misplace a lot of stuff, you have to keep replacing.
I don't know the kind of clothes you mean that will cost 5k for three people.That one is pure wretchedness. kids grow out of clothes so quick,you keep buying and buying.

I also dunno the toiletries that will only cost 2.5k? Unless they'll use Shea butter, Vaseline talcum powder and hard tissue.deodorant,perfe,soap,toothpaste,sanitary pad nko?
Won't she at least relax her hair or braid it? not to even talk of fixing a weave?



** modified

Jahblessme:
@Getumad
So a man should comfortably lavish 200k on himself just cos he came back from jand? Is he not living above his means and giving the wrong impression to his wife and others? Is it not smarter to put that money to good use by making sure his children's needs are met to the dot?
As far as I'm concerned,it's irresponsible and the needs of your family should come first instead of showing off what you don't have.Please take a look at that list and tell me if it's not very tight for someone with 2 children who doesn't have a job?
Clothes for 5k for 3 people? phcn 2k For a month It's ridiculous.Errrr,the stew for one month,won't it be in freezer?If she doesn't run the gen how will she preserve it? Or is she supposed to be warming it everyday with the 1month kerosene?If she ditches the car,how will the kids get to school?Okada? Is that not dangerous?Is it not more stressful and expensive to be going via public transport daily?(this one I don't know)

As I said,if one isn't struck by abject poverty, it's dangerous mentally to live with this sort of extreme rationing.There always has to be room to manoeuvre Cos of miscellaneous stuff that could come up.

She needs a job/biz asap cos this list is kponkious.


Fxwarrior,no offense meant but you seriously sound like an extremely stingy person.The good thing though is that you are also likely to be stingy to yourself so in this regard,you are better than the man.
There's nothing wrong with someone who can't manage with the 50k monthly as long as they can afford it.Your friends wife with large expanse of land who isn't gardening shouldn't be paining you so much,not everyone cares for gardening.If they complain,its not your biz nawww.Its them and their hubby.
I know you believe yourself to be a realist,but from what you write I feel like your own realism has over stretched.

Please,make sure your future partner is like you or at least knows your rationing power.
I would go crazy if my husband talks this way.I'd only be okay if we are dirt poor and have no other choice.

Meanwhile, make the 50k budget for the family.Emiye has done his own.It might actually be useful for those who truly don't have an option

@Emiye,the pampers won't be enough? for 2k how many will be in a pack.I was in Naija a while back and had to buy wipes for the baby.It was 500 for one which would just last a week especially with a small baby.

Errrrrm, i dont think, it is every month she buys cloth for every one, that is why i said average of N5,000 per month.
She might not have course to buy any cloth or shoe for 3months, meaning she will have 15k to spend, when she decides to buy such.

I made up the list to show that the 50k is not as bad as many will want us to believe. I also left N5,000 to handle exigencies .

With growing kids,you constantly buy clothes.That's why I know most of you don't have kids.The list is too tight for Mom and 2 kids.
Only way its feasible is if there's no other option cos this is pure suffering

Jahblessme:
With growing kids,you constantly buy clothes.That's why I know most of you don't have kids.The list is too tight for Mom and 2 kids.
Only way its feasible is if there's no other option cos this is pure suffering

You are exaggerating ! "pure sufferring" ? ? ?

How frequent do you buy clothes? daily?,weekly ?, forthnightly?

A recent survey shows over 90% of Nigerians earn less than 70k monthly.

@emiye
Honestly,its suffering to me because there are 2 kids involved.If it was only her,it's different.
Its important for kids to get a decent start in life if possible especially when the man spends 200k when he's around.

I buy clothes when the need strikes..I buy for the kids very often cos they outgrow them pretty fast

Jahblessme:
@emiye
Honestly,its suffering to me because there are 2 kids involved.If it was only her,it's different.
Its important for kids to get a decent start in life if possible especially when the man spends 200k when he's around.

I buy clothes when the need strikes..I buy for the kids very often cos they outgrow them pretty fast

Believe me, when i say the word suffering is exaggerated, except the lady comes from a very wealthy home with exotic taste. I do agree with you if you say the fund is very limited for a middle class lady with 2 kids.

@Emiye,the pampers won't be enough? for 2k how many will be in a pack.I was in Naija a while back and had to buy wipes for the baby.It was 500 for one which would just last a week especially with a small baby.You forgot recharge cards for phone abi she won't call the 'abroad' husband.What of uniform for the kid?textbooks?school bag and accessories? Kids misplace a lot of stuff, you have to keep replacing.
I don't know the kind of clothes you mean that will cost 5k for three people.That one is pure wretchedness. kids grow out of clothes so quick,you keep buying and buying.

I also dunno the toiletries that will only cost 2.5k? Unless they'll use Shea butter, Vaseline talcum powder and hard tissue.deodorant,perfe,soap,toothpaste,sanitary pad nko?
Won't she at least relax her hair or braid it? not to even talk of fixing a weave?

Let me address your earlier comment. average of 2- 3 diapers per day, translate to 60- 90 diapers in a month. 90 diapers * 20+ = 2,000

From the ops given info we are forced to infer that the man handles the formal education needs, so we can only believe textbooks, bags e.t.c, the man has been catered for.

As to toiletries, a good tooth paste of less than 400naira will last more than a month, 5 soft tissue papers will last more than a month (350 naira)

Skin friendly soaps of less than 300naira will last more than a month, sanitary pad (dis one i dont know , may be N500 sha or even less self.) deodorant/perfume of 2000 naira can last for 3 months. ; Baby lotion - N500. She might dip her hands in to exigencies funds occasionally to handle issues like making of her hair, that is why it is there.

A virtuos wife should be good manager of resources, and i believe every spinster aspiring to get married should strive to learn that, cause there might be a "rough patch" phase in the marriage

since majority here says the amount is small. and remembering the maxim..... what a man can do a woman can do better..... she should make it up.
.
in the words of oshomole.... go and die if not ok.
or better still the man should engage other means to make more money, if caught.... jail.
then the woman can remarry........ .

from what life has taught me ,no amount of money is ever enough for a person . the key is to make do with what you have and move on. life is a journey it takes a minimum of 70years.
for me sacrifice and focus are my advice to the woman. the underlying quest in this post is nothing more than inviting temptation......
so be guided.

emiye:


Well, if the family has a pre paid meter, or better still if d bill is too heavy than expected, she might lodge complain with the apportioned marketer, their mobile numbers are usually on the bill, and in many cases i know, a reduction is effected.

As to d car, it is optional, but it might be useful in transporting kid(s) to school and back for greater comfort., 7k per month will mean the car use is limited in my view., because evidently she must not spend more than 5k in fueling the car and the remaining 2k saved for car service

Bro, that 2k is not realistic for PHCN utility bill. Talking about complaining, I am talking of a personal experience here. There's nothing i haven't done . It used to be 13k monthly. I had personally written several letters to their Management. It became worse after the introduction of the new tariff. I have exhausted all my options. 2k might be enough for the prepaid meter, which i also doubt giving the fact she may want to always leave the deep freezer on to preserve her food. Car, i believe isn't a necessity, considering the fact she isn't with any flow of income. She could register for school bus to help transport the kids to and from school. To be paid with the sch fees. Remove the expenses spent on the car monthly(fuel & maintenance) and she'd be somewhat relieved. If the car had a major fault that would gulp like 70k to bring back to use and the man refused to send her money for the repair, wouldn't she ground the car and start living a life outside it? Given the condition of things or realities on ground, some things aren't just necessary.

I am not advocating unnecessary hardship for a housewife, but my point is, she could comfortably manage that 50k. She just needs to cut her unnecessary expenses.

If she was a single mother earning that monthly, would she give up the children for adoption? She should just let go of her ego. She should forget about the fact that she's a wife to a Man in obodo oyinbo. Her grouse may stem from the fact that she believes the guy is capable of doing more than that, now that he's refused to, why can't she just be grateful for the lil' she has and get her thinking cap on. She needs to stop depending on the man for her absolute care/upkeep. The earlier she realizes she has a role in sustaining her home, the better. Ok, what if the man in question suddenly stopped sending any money what would she do?

As i earlier said, no amount is too small nor too much for upkeep. It all depends on your LIFESTYLE. There are several families under similar or worse circumstances, yet you can't see their children and categorize them as "ajepako".

We may talk from now till eternity, it won't make the guy increase the money unless he's personally convinced to. In the mean time, she should just get her big bottom a job or biz to offset the bills.

@emiye
You really don't know anything about kids eh
2-3 daipers per day?That means you are talking about a mature toddler.Babies poo and wee and you are changing them at least 3 hourly to avoid daiper rash.

The man pays school fees doesn't translate to uniforms,text books,school bag,water bottles,lunch box.

You can see I stressed on her getting a job or doing a biz to supplement the 50k.Its not fair to d kids for her to just standby complaining.
Remember the man blows money when he's in Nigeria,that's probably why she's upset.Its more painful when you feel he can afford it but is just being stingy.If he likes,let him not give her too! But the kids,come on! They deserve the best both parents can afford.

I don't know what perfume is 2k.she cannot even buy perfume self with the budget so she has to stick to deodorant.

I agree though that no amount is too big..there are always needs here and there,depends on lifestyle.But 50k is too tight abeg


Err dunno what standard will be used to call anyone ajekpako, from the list all the kids can do is eat and Gp to school,nothing extra like school trips or going to the zoo.All the extracurricular activities that would enrich their childhood cannot be catered for with that budget.
As long as the kids get the very best the parents can afford,that's fine.

GetUmad:

Bro, that 2k is not realistic for PHCN utility bill. Talking about complaining, i am talking about personal experience here. There's nothing i haven't done . It used to be 13k monthly. I had personally written several letters to their Management. It became worse after the introduction of the new tariff. I have exhausted all my options. 2k might be enough for the prepaid meter, which i also doubt giving the fact she may want to always leave the deep freezer on to preserve her food. Car, i believe isn't a necessity, considering the fact she isn't with any flow of income. She could register for school bus to help transport the kids to and from school. To be paid with the sch fees. Remove the expenses spent on the car monthly(fuel & maintenance) and she'd be somewhat relieved. If the car had a major fault that would gulp like 70k to bring back to use and the man refused to send her money for the repair, wouldn't she ground the car and start living a life outside it? Given the condition of things or realities on ground, some things aren't just necessary.

I am not advocating unnecessary hardship for a housewife, but my point is, she could comfortably manage that 50k. She just needs to cut her unnecessary expenses.

If she was a single mother earning that monthly, would she give up the children for adoption? She should just let go of her ego. She should forget about the fact that she's a wife to a Man in obodo oyinbo. Her grouse may stem from the fact that she believes the guy is capable of doing more than that, now that he's refused to, why can't she just be grateful for the lil' she has and get her thinking cap on. She needs to stop depending on the man for her absolute care/upkeep. The earlier she realizes she has a role in sustaining her home, the better. Ok, what if the man in question suddenly stopped sending any money what would she do?

As i earlier said, no amount is too small nor too much for upkeep. It all depends on your LIFESTYLE. There are several families under similar or worse circumstances, yet you can't see their children and categorize them as "ajepako".

We may talk from now till eternity, it won't make the guy increase the money unless he's personally convinced to. In the mean time, she should just get her big bottom a job or biz to offset the bills.

I understand you about the 8k, 13k bill per month, but they seem like extreme cases , and for the car, if it is one "jalopee" with thick heavy smoke and high maintenance cost, she had better park it neatly at home.

Judging from the fact that the man handles house rent and school fees and still sends 50k to her, the total monthly value is not less than 70k.

If she was a single mother earning 70k with two kids, she will still survive, her case is even better since she is stay at home mother.

There are several families under similar or worse circumstances, yet you can't see their children and categorize them as "ajepako".

I perfectly agree with this.

HIA! When I created thread,I never knew it would get dis much attention.I've taken time to go through all d contributions so far and had to refer dat my friend to dis forum(not a nairalander)to read all d contributions.after reading it she was really hurt my what some pple said especially FXWARRIOR. PLS HERE'S A SAMPLE OF HER MONTHLY EXPENSES AS SHE WROTE IT: Fuel for car n gen-6k
Gas-3500
Pampers-4500
PHCN-4500
Cerelac-7500
SMA-7800
TOTAL-37 300
Then feeding,toiletries,makin her hair,multi vitamins for her 2 kids cos they don't always hav appetite for food.

So 50k minus 37 300 is 12 700.from her list,is it not obvious dat she spends almost everytin on d kids especially d 15 months old baby.accordin to her,inorder to make ends meet,she no longer subscribe to DSTV,her car's been parked for some months.d pampers is 2500 for her baby n 1500 for her 3 yrs old son cos he uses it at nite while sleepin,her PHCN is never less than 4500 despite several complaints,d cerelac is 5 tins a month at 1500 each cos dats what d baby agrees to take.d baby would rather starve than take cheaper tins like pap which she hav tried severally.d SMA is for 2 tins of d big SMA for toddlers wit green cover

I know some pple will still accuse her of havin d 'my hubby is abroad'mentality but then its not true cos I know how she behaves n d way she dresses.@JAHBLESSME n @CHIDYHEYS,u both hav idea of what it means to make do wit d 50k.I am also a mother wit 2 kids like dis my friend n I must say it is not easy cos of her 15 months old baby.I tell u,assumin d baby was up to 3 yrs,it would hav been easier to manage 30k than managin 50k wit a 15 months old baby
Mothers in d houz will understand what I am talkin about cos babies r very expensive especially when one is unlucky to hav a baby dat rejects cheaper food like pap for expensive ones like cerelac.is she also showin off wit givin her baby cerelac definitely no cos she does dat in d confines of her home where no one is watchin unless on occassions she is outside.is she also showin off n yet parked her car for now while she carries her 15 months old baby n hold her 3 yrs old son while takin him to skul?definitely no.is she showin off n yet no longer subscibe to DSTV not mindin when her friends can visit n request to watch' E'?of course not
So let's be rational in our analysis cos YES she can make do wit d 50k but it won't be easy.for instance she said their soakaway got filled last month n each flat was asked to pay 5 300.u see,its still from d 50k dat she will foot d bill.so pls let's be rational here

Jahblessme:
@emiye
You really don't know anything about kids eh
2-3 daipers per day?That means you are talking about a mature toddler.Babies poo and wee and you are changing them at least 3 hourly to avoid daiper rash.

The man pays school fees doesn't translate to uniforms,text books,school bag,water bottles,lunch box.

You can see I stressed on her getting a job or doing a biz to supplement the 50k.Its not fair to d kids for her to just standby complaining.
Remember the man blows money when he's in Nigeria,that's probably why she's upset.Its more painful when you feel he can afford it but is just being stingy.If he likes,let him not give her too! But the kids,come on! They deserve the best both parents can afford.

I don't know what perfume is 2k.she cannot even buy perfume self with the budget so she has to stick to deodorant.

I agree though that no amount is too big..there are always needs here and there,depends on lifestyle.But 50k is too tight abeg


Err dunno what standard will be used to call anyone ajekpako, from the list all the kids can do is eat and Gp to school,nothing extra like school trips or going to the zoo.All the extracurricular activities that would enrich their childhood cannot be catered for with that budget.
As long as the kids get the very best the parents can afford,that's fine.

I know you might not agree with my list, i cant really fault you, since you are a nigerian in diaspora, some of your cost perspective will be limited, since you are not resident in Nigeria.

The summary of all my "turenchi" is that a good manager of resources can still utilise the 50k,and you can never say she is suffering, even extra curricular activities can be catered for, there are good and educative children programs on DSTV channels, and then she takes them out occassionally, may be not as frequent as she might want.

@emiye
I was in Naija some months back and was shocked at how expensive things are.I couldn't believe it.So,I'm not that put of touch
Remember the main grouse is that he acts like he can afford more evidenced by his 200k expenditure when he's around.
So he values himself and his expenses at 150k per month then lumps his wife and 2 kids at 50k.

Imagine if he's more frugal and let's say spends 100k per month then spreads the remaining 100 over the year,there would be more to go round.

Its his money though so the wife should bone and find sth to do so she doesn't bring up kids who have a chip on their shoulder.

If the man cannot afford more is it not better to have a discussion with her and come to an understanding?That way she knows he's doing his best instead of leaving her believing he's an aradite who values only himself.

Seems like all the miscellaneous piling up will be more than the 5k you apportioned eh?
@saponification
I understand especially when a toddler is a fussy eater.She really has to get a job and supplement.There's no other option

saponification:
HIA! When I created thread,I never knew it would get dis much attention.I've taken time to go through all d contributions so far and had to refer dat my friend to dis forum(not a nairalander)to read all d contributions.after reading it she was really hurt my what some pple said especially FXWARRIOR. PLS HERE'S A SAMPLE OF HER MONTHLY EXPENSES AS SHE WROTE IT: Fuel for car n gen-6k
Gas-3500
Pampers-4500
PHCN-4500
Cerelac-7500
SMA-7800
TOTAL-37 300
Then feeding,toiletries,makin her hair,multi vitamins for her 2 kids cos they don't always hav appetite for food.

So 50k minus 37 300 is 12 700.from her list,is it not obvious dat she spends almost everytin on d kids especially d 15 months old baby.accordin to her,inorder to make ends meet,she no longer subscribe to DSTV,her car's been parked for some months.d pampers is 2500 for her baby n 1500 for her 3 yrs old son cos he uses it at nite while sleepin,her PHCN is never less than 4500 despite several complaints,d cerelac is 5 tins a month at 1500 each cos dats what d baby agrees to take.d baby would rather starve than take cheaper tins like pap which she hav tried severally.d SMA is for 2 tins of d big SMA for toddlers wit green cover

I know some pple will still accuse her of havin d 'my hubby is abroad'mentality but then its not true cos I know how she behaves n d way she dresses.@JAHBLESSME n @CHIDYHEYS,u both hav idea of what it means to make do wit d 50k.I am also a mother wit 2 kids like dis my friend n I must say it is not easy cos of her 15 months old baby.I tell u,assumin d baby was up to 3 yrs,it would hav been easier to manage 30k than managin 50k wit a 15 months old baby
Mothers in d houz will understand what I am talkin about cos babies r very expensive especially when one is unlucky to hav a baby dat rejects cheaper food like pap for expensive ones like cerelac.is she also showin off wit givin her baby cerelac definitely no cos she does dat in d confines of her home where no one is watchin unless on occassions she is outside.is she also showin off n yet parked her car for now while she carries her 15 months old baby n hold her 3 yrs old son while takin him to skul?definitely no.is she showin off n yet no longer subscibe to DSTV not mindin when her friends can visit n request to watch' E'?of course not
So let's be rational in our analysis cos YES she can make do wit d 50k but it won't be easy.for instance she said their soakaway got filled last month n each flat was asked to pay 5 300.u see,its still from d 50k dat she will foot d bill.so pls let's be rational here

Ah, i am just seeing this, i will respond when i truly look at the list.


Fuel for car n gen-6k
Gas-3500
Pampers-4500
PHCN-4500
Cerelac-7500
SMA-7800
TOTAL-37 300

From the list, it looks filled, and i agree that the fund is limited. I will suggest she looks at cutting off some expenses still, may be i am too much of an ajepako, the 3yr boy needs to stay off pampers now, and needs to be woken up at night to pee, it also helps him to learn fast to stop weeing on d mattress . On the cerelac and SMA , that one i also feel there is an opportunity area in cost saving there, since the baby is now 1yr and 3months old, . Those PHCN idiots must be handled the "nigerian " way, i hope she understands, they are corrupt lots, you will need to service their greed out of the official system.

Lastly, what is she doing about getting another stream of income?

I feel, she should manage d money n keep praying for her husband.am sure d man loves his family u know it's .nt easy to pay school n house rent alone it's alot of money....I don't get up to dat n am fine, pls women let us forget about class.

Trust nlders.. They deliberately ignored the fact that the husband spends not less dan 200k monthly on himself when he is around. yet They expect the woman to be grateful dat he is even giving her 50k monthly for upkeep of herself and 2 growing kids.. smh.

@emiye.Good!now u r soundin fair.she is doin evry tin possible to get a job.buys guardian tues @ times,checks hotnigerian job.infact u can imagine Msc holder sayin she is ready to take up ajob of 30k if she sees one.just dat she is limited to her state of residence cos of her kids.so even when she sees vacancies in places like lagos,abuja,PH,etc she still can't apply cos of relocation

Somepple were askin if her hubby has papers abroad there n if he has a steady job.of course he does.he's been there for more than 4 yrs.d end point is dat d hubby can do more than that if he so wishes but for reasons best known to him,does not want.like I told my friend.she've got no option than to try as much as possible to make do wit d 50k for now.she is not even demandin for increament monthly but for some months when expenses r high like last month she had to pay 5300 for soakaway