Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? - Family - Nairaland
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| Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 1:48pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
So, you’ve been called a LovePeddler, you’ve been labelled “cheap or finished goods”. You’ve been told either directly or indirectly; by words and/or action that you could never possibly attract the man/woman of your dreams. There’s this nagging voice inside of you which keeps reminding you – especially at those moments when you decide to pick up the pieces of your life and move on – that you’ll never be good enough, that you’ll keep having failed relationships, that Love, no matter how badly you desire it could never happen to you! In your quest for true love, you’ve probably lost count of the number of guys/ladies you’ve dated and or slept with. Perchance, you now subtly consider yourself abominable and unworthy of a good man/woman. I am here to implore you to change that mind-set, change it because Good is about to happen to you, change it because your worth and value could never be determined by your actions. Every condemnation or guilt that you feel within is either from you or the cosmic rebel, certainly not God (or whichever name you know Him by) such thoughts cause more harm than good in the long run. You must reject them. You are whole, you are worthy, you are a perfect representation of all that is good. You are royalty, you are beautiful. What you think of yourself right now is inconsequential as long as the eternal truth stated ^^^ above remains imho, *nodding my head*  you should fall in line Yes, you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over. Yes, you keep doing those things which you know quite well are against your principles and they upset the inner core of your being. More oft than not, you consider yourself a failure having not been able to live up to your set values, principles and orientation. Deep down, beyond your popularity, beyond that killer smile/charm and figure/build you possess, there are those moments when you do some deep soul searching and all you consider yourself as is “One Colossal Mess!” Well, Guess What  [size=14pt]YOU ARE NOTHING SHORT OF THE BEST THERE IS.[/size] There are those times too, when you know – deep within, that you’re one priceless treasure who’s just getting most of his/her priorities wrong. Sometimes you feel you have it all together, only to realize you’ve been living an illusion. Listen Sweetheart, there is hope for you, hope for your future and the fact that you’ve read to this length means you desire real change in your life. So, I’m going to ask two questions: 1.In as much as you desire a package deal for a Husband/wife, considering your flaws, do you really believe you can attract a man/woman that noble/virtuos in your lifetime? In other words, when it comes to romantic relationships, is your head thought in tune with your heart thought? 2.What value do you place on yourself? If your answers to the above questions were in the negative, or quite hazy – You are welcome to read on  .Now, all you need do is make a conscious decision this moment, to take charge of your life and in cooperation with your maker, create the kind of experience you sincerely desire of life. You’ll need a journal with which to write down the things you desire in your man/woman of the future and your life as a whole. You’ll also make a bullet list of positive confessions, which you should recite whole-heartedly at least 2 times daily or as you’re led. Let those words become a part of you, when conversing with people, look for a way to infuse those words in your conversation. If you used to think and say “Love only happens in movies” you could change that phrase to something like – “Love Can and Will Happen to Me”  If you used to think of yourself as unworthy and incapable of attracting AND sustaining anything good in your life, you might wanna cancel that thought process by confessing “I am good, I am worthy, priceless people and things are attracted to me, for I am priceless!” If you continue ^^^ this way, you’ll feel peaceful and stronger, with a sense of direction and perspective. Thank you for taking time to read. While writing this piece, a very good e-friend’s siggy to’ally resonates: “We CANNOT become what we need by remaining what we are It gets better! 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by holatin(m): 1:51pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
nice post but too long. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by spicy244(f): 2:03pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Nice write up. Well done OP |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 2:08pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Godiloveyou I created this thread here again. I thought your original post was in romance section. Dedicated to you. #Bless |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by pickabeau1: 2:17pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
MizMyColi: That post may just be sounding out opinions of NLders Not real I hope How can someone consistently have bad choices in men |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by Nobody: 2:17pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Nice one. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 2:27pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
pickabeau1: I won't rule out the possibility jarey  6 months on NL and I've seen/heard impossible things. I already addressed that in my reply on her thread. Me jus lyk erring on the side of caution tho' Lolz. Y'see........ Babes are going thru' shiii o. #Fact I believe it's a message to every lady on here sha. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by pickabeau1: 2:49pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
ok MizMyColi: |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by Pavore9: 2:55pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Your happiness starts with you. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by crackhaus: 4:02pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Hear hear! Captain MizMyColi, you speech gets a resounding aye from the: Fifteen men on a dead-man's chest, Yo ho ho and a bottle of alomo... |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MrsAwesome: 4:03pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
That thread irks me. She doesn't have bad choices in men rather she was tasting the waters after her virginity was broken. She probably got addicted to sexxxx and had to keep doing it, the men are not the problem... she is. Wish she will cure the lifestyle and quest with a more productive and less mind destructing ones. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 4:16pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Waow! Coming from #DecoratedCaptainCrackhaus I need to goan buy frame. Brb crackhaus: |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by bellong: 4:18pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
MizMyColi: Explain the bolded...  crackhaus: From Treasure Island? I couldn't get to finish reading that book. The owner collected it before I could complete reading it...  |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 4:22pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
bellong: Some ladies just don't deserve the blow they're cut in relationships. More oft than not, it's because they don't know better sha. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by bellong: 4:26pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
MizMyColi: Nobody who is innocent deserves blows in a relationship irrespective of gender. However, ladies cry wolf when they are mostly the architect of their own misfortune. Every lady has the right to quit a toxic relationship but they wouldn't and will keep complaining that their guys are not treating them right. Whatever is self inflicted cannot be categorized as "going through". "going through" is something a person has no control over. Ladies should learn to make good choices than being controlled by ephemeral things. 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by Nobody: 4:31pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
holatin:she's is the mama of epistle na,so it's has to be long. Nice post though. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by holatin(m): 4:43pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Bunsky:hahaha funny u |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by crackhaus: 4:51pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
MizMyColi:More like #DecoratedCommodoreCrackhaus There are at least three ships in my naval fleet... Drink and the devil had done for the rest, Yo ho ho and a bottle of alomo. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 4:56pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
bellong: You make it out to be so easy on screen. Leaving a toxic relationship requires will power and mental strength. Not every lady out there understands ^^^ those concepts. How in God's green Nairaland did they inflict such on themselves, how sir/ma You meet a guy........ You thought you were loved. You thought you understood love. You didn't know better........ You summon virtually every fibre of your being to love him back, fiercely and sacrificially. Even when it's against your values, you had sex. You didn't know better You'd committed your resources (time, treasure and talent) into making the relationship work. Little did you realize you were being manipulated. Little did you realize you were loosing yourself. When you finally did..... You were torn between___ "I've com too far to let go......what will people think, where do I go to from here......yepah! I am finished!  and "Now that I have realized, I can't continue........I'mma take a walk. ^^^ The average uninformed/unenlightened Nigerian lady would stick with the first option, except she has a back-up plan. I beg to disagree on "has no control over"...... I have an exam tomorrow. My books are right in front of me. The course I'm reading for looks like Aramaic. I'm feeling sleepy........ I have a choice. To close the darn book and just scribble whatever tomorrow. The worst that can happen is re-writting. I have the power to make any choice that suits me....... (control) Yet I'm going thru' I'm really not left with much of a choice from the other party involved (examiner) So, somehow.....I have to cover this book, anyhow...... ^^^That's the way it is for some ladies too. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 5:02pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
 crackhaus: |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by crackhaus: 5:02pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
bellong:Lovely book. I'm just in an odd mood for watching the Pirates of the Caribbean film series all over again, hence the pirate's song. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by bellong: 5:02pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
MizMyColi: It is nobody's fault if a lady cannot do her due diligence before giving a player an opportunity. Most of these players use the vain ambition of these ladies to woo them. You summon virtually every fibre of your being to love him back, fiercely and sacrificially. At least, the sex was mutual. The guy didn't put a gun to her head to do it. This shouldn't be a reason to complain. Considering not to leave a relationship because of what others will say is a self inflicted damage. Probably she got into the relationship because of what others will say. Summary of what I am saying is that everybody should take responsibility for his/her failure and not shift blame which most of these ladies do. They are never at fault but the guy. 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by crackhaus: 5:04pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by bellong: 5:05pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
crackhaus: Lovely and crazy movie... |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by UjSizzle(f): 5:05pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
crackhaus:Drink and the devil will come for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of coke 1 Like |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by UjSizzle(f): 5:08pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
@bellong Is seeking love a vain ambition? I know everyone at some point in their life wants that. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by bellong: 5:09pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
UjSizzle: You misunderstood my post. Seeking love is not a vain ambition but the criteria used to achieve it are mostly vain. |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by crackhaus: 5:10pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
MizMyColi:Are you implying that the lady in this scenario is a victim of her own choices, since the choice is/was ultimately hers? |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 5:11pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
Are you (m) or (f)? You know....... I have my thinking cap on. So, I'm able to sift thru' and get your message. And quite candidly, I'm putting myself in the shoes of the average nigerian girl. Maybe trying to garner some Ultimately, it is what it is. You come off as a tad bit insensitive. I take it you're (m). At the emboldened, what saying you now Who nuh go nuh know..............My conclusion is this. Babes be going thru some shiii in their relationships because they do not know better. If they did, they won't last the next nanosecond in there. Knowledge is power. It pays to wise up bellong: |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by crackhaus: 5:14pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
bellong:It's so bad I still can't bring myself to deleting it all from my laptop, I'm hopeless... |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by UjSizzle(f): 5:14pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
bellong:Hmmm okay. @Mizmycoli, Sometimes they do know better. And yet they stay. It's not something I can explain, but yeah sh*t happens. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Devalue And Belittle Yourself? by MizMyColi(f): 5:16pm On Dec 04, 2014 |
| That's what it is to us on the outside. But not to her. Her choice? yep? I have to point out though, that one variable ..... led her to that tight position she got into and ultimately, that choice Now, she gets to bear the brunt alone, maybe crackhaus: |
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