Kachisbarbie:


how do you handle an abusive girlfriend?

iamchiddy:
The woman who can abuse me verbally, physically, emotionally, spiritually or otherwise is NOT yet born

Laeroy:
Being married for a month now....There's not been any abuse of whatever kind....so imma say God reigns in my house....HALLALUYAH.....

alutacontinua:


I dunno if it's your eyes or your brain that needs fixing!
Or maybe you're just the product of sub-standard education
Separation! As in send the woman away for a while (a re-training actually), just so she knows that it's not accepted for her to be behaving like a bush-goat in her husband's house. All these begging and negotiation don't work for women who have reached this point.

why don't you understand simple English?

kazlaw2000:

You are a very patient person. Kudos. I may not be able to withstand such brazeness from my wife. I would be firm but stop short of raising my hands on her. But i would let her know i wouldnt stand for such rascality. But going to the extent of locking yourself in a room to escape? Nah. Thats too weak.

Laeroy:
Being married for a month now....There's not been any abuse of whatever kind....so imma say God reigns in my house....HALLALUYAH.....

ruuudboy:
We have always heard about husband abusing their wives. How is it always like, the other way round? I have never laid my hand on any lady before not to talk of my wife and i don't think i can do such.

As a husband how do you handle it if your wife lay her hand on you either by slapping,punching,biting or rough handling? As a wife, how did your husband handle the situation?

I have been married to my wife going to 4yrs now and yesterday was the second time we had misunderstanding that led to serious confrontation.....Initially when it all started around 9pm, i kept quiet and didnt respond to her ranting. When she realized i wasn't responding, she moved close to me, started punching me, bit me and somehow slapped me in the process with serious ranting "you'll kill me today."

I tried as much as not to retaliate and removed myself from her, ran to the visitors room and locked myself in there....she continued talking and started hitting the door with a stick, after which i realized that with the way things are going, neighbours on the next flat might want to come and asked what was wrong, which i do much detest.

I started begging her from inside after which she calmed down and i opened the door.....we talked it through till late in d night and settled our differences which she later apologised for raising her hand on me and promised never to do that again no matter what happened.

The issue now is, i put myself in another man's shoe that how do people handle things like this in marriage as a husband?

As a wife, how did your husband handle issues of misunderstanding? The first thing that came to my mind yesterday when she hit me was the word of my boss who always say, AT THE HIGHEST POINT OF PROVOCATION, ALWAYS EXERCISE CAUTION.

Married peeps, how do u handle this?

zeb04:
"this point"....which point?
You just so pained op has forgiven his wife.its understandable...you were probably not brought up in that kind of family.btw I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up your asszzzz.

damiso:
What she did was soo wrong on all levels..well done for having the self restraint not to retaliate and being the bigger person.

I think you need to have a heart to heart Frank Mature Firm Talk with her.Tell her you will not tolerate assault from her and let her know you mean it.

You have to nip that kind of behaviour in the bud ASAP. Is this the first time she has reacted in such a manner?

***Modified*** just read you have been married for 4 yrs and this is the second time.

Let her know if it EVER EVER happens again you are gone.

mencade4:
even if u r wrong dont beg any woman.....

Edusouls:
men's abuse to women is mainly shouting on the woman and at worst beating her up.,and this is done to correct some ill behaviours from her.but women's abuse, extreme nagging, damaging lies,poisining the mind of those that likes you, and at worst that of your own kids turning them against you, when you meet hardship instead of comforting you they add misery on top, unsatiable demands, unprovoked verbal attacks, soul killing insalts,she remembers for you many better suitors that would have married her instead of a nobody like you, appreciates nothing u do no matter what,it eats up the man like cancer until he dies slowly without bleeding, thats why most of the untimely death we hear today are men, when women start they dont stop until you divorce her, run or endure and eventualy die a miserable death..

alutacontinua:


Sometimes, I forget all kinda of things are allowed to roam on NL and I start posting like I'm posting with normal people. Tell me the sick person now: just read the above post and tell me who has a worm in the brain.

You can never see things from my POV, it's obvious you lack the common sense! Just swerve-i don't do your type.

zeb04:


Normal?....you are far from normal
You taking panadol for the op while his busy cuddling with his wife
You quote me to insult and rant when I didn't even notice you here in the ist place.

Get a life missy.

alutacontinua:


Oh yeah, you over-noticed me!
And then instead of you to quote me, you decided to do the snide style
Bad thing is I wasn't in a good mood then, I mostly would forgiven your sorry arse
Anyways, I'm done with ya
Next time, when you have a point, say it like a good girl and don't try to insult people with opposing views (aka sick in the brain)....
You can have the floor now

hensben:
i smell something from comments here...you know urself

Ummm...what do you smell?? HYPOCRISY from the female comments

aisha2:
Poster please please please dont keep quiet about this or feel ashamed to report this ugly incident to both families abuse never stops. Abusers will always use " I was provoked" as an excuse. I am sure she found a way to make you feel guilty for her actions she made it seem as you caused it somehow pushed her to act like that


My advice dont keep quiet, this is not a sweep under the carpet issue, she will either turn you into a co abuser or she escalates the abuse.

Call your families this is a serious issue. Let her get help if she wants to, you asked what I would do if it were me, the day I raise my hand on my husband is the day I will pack my load on my own and leave. There is no excuse for that.

Xsolutions:

Ummm...what do you smell?? HYPOCRISY from the female comments

lilreese:
No women can abuse me, that why i'm a man.

EfemenaXY:
Where is SirShymex? He loves violent stories.

Shymex...

Shymex...

Shymex...

Oya come and give us your view. What would you do if you were the husband in question here?

ruuudboy:
 
my wife had married working class male as friends and brothers before we got married and most of them do runs out of their wedlock which she was aware of all their antics. According to her way back then, some of them dated her friends then. So, that has always been at the back of her mind and she always make reference to it sometimes (karma things).
 
This week has been a very busy one for me at work, i came home late than usual. Yesterday (one of the few craziest day i had at work) was so late that i came home around to 9pm unlike my usual 5-6pm. She close from her own office around 4pm. I only picked her call around afternoon which i told her i was a bit busy and i couldnt talk to her later and i never bothered to call as i was so tired.
i came home and she gave me attitude which i ignored even while i tried to greet her and assumed its normal. I had some report to send to my boss that night cos that was the excuse i gave before he allowed me leave office. I realised i should have explained somethings and why i came home late but i jst concentrated on my fone trying to sort out my report on my ipad. She was just ranting all around saying the one i did outside was not enough, i came home and still continued with my phone chatting with some i.diot girls whereas i was chatting with my boss and colleagues.
i later went outside to buy recharge card after i couldn't recharge with my mobile banking app. I was on the phone with my boss which made me stay a bit more outside but i guess she has been trying my number which was busy..........This got her infuriated as she locked the door and started, i was just looking at her trying to explain things but she wouldnt allow me....saying it was friday and i was definitely  with someone while she was calling me and i claimed i was in the office and ignored her.....wat i did in the office was enough  that i still went outside to make calls, i just kept quiet as shstarted talking. Her ranting  got to me that i felt if i should respond with how boiling i was, it will definitely  be something  else cos of the day stress , i had to keep quiet for her as we cant ve ralking at the same time.......i didnt know my being silent will lead to attack...

Sormeh:

Good submission. But family intervention doesn't work in most scenarios especially if one of the families is hypocritical of the issue. Some parents actually architect the problems bedeviling their daughter's / son's marriage without even realizing it.

Laeroy:
Being married for a month now....There's not been any abuse of whatever kind....so imma say God reigns in my house....HALLALUYAH.....

aisha2:
Poster please please please dont keep quiet about this or feel ashamed to report this ugly incident to both families abuse never stops. Abusers will always use " I was provoked" as an excuse. I am sure she found a way to make you feel guilty for her actions she made it seem as you caused it somehow pushed her to act like that


My advice dont keep quiet, this is not a sweep under the carpet issue, she will either turn you into a co abuser or she escalates the abuse.

Call your families this is a serious issue. Let her get help if she wants to, you asked what I would do if it were me, the day I raise my hand on my husband is the day I will pack my load on my own and leave. There is no excuse for that.