miredia:
He has decided to take you as a replacement

Billyonaire:
OP, I must be frank here. You are the cause of the problem. I do not see anything wrong in wearing a butt-pad. Women use most of these artificial beauty-aids to augment their self-confidence and 'look good', it doesnt suggest she is cheating.

I will like to be blunt here; Your wife has done a lot to put up with a man who didnt plan well before engaging in a traditional marriage. You didnt couldnt even afford your rent after traditional marriage and you went ahead to impregnate your wife. Are you silly ? Now the poor woman helps to buy foodstuff, pay rent, and in fact buy herself cloths and butt-pads which is actually your responsibility as a man 100%.

You are NOT financially and psychologically stable enough to get married. I am sorry, this is just the plain truth.

I see nothing wrong in her actions, except ofcourse the curses and abuse, which are actually caused by your actions and inactions.

CGKing:
I feel you bro. I really feel you and I am sorry for all you have gone through. There so much of this nonsense happening everywhere, it's like end time for marriages. And after what my fiancé put me through recently. I decided its safer and happier not to be married at a all. I practically had to go to the kitchen to hide the kitchen knives. Guy, no need for marriage.

Natasha2:


You can't accept all the blame, anyway thats by the way.


What have you decided to do now?

Rosarie:
first year of marriage has a lot of challenges but dose her words re deep cos as a wife na she suppose dey pray for y n again she hails from a stipud home but in all i blame u cos GOD will nvs ever lead u on a rong path.GOD DDID NOT GIVE A GO AHEAD N AM SURE U HAD PRE MARITAL SEX HE HATES SIN N WILL ALLOW U MAKE UR DESICIONS.MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSE TO B A BLISS

Dragonking:


One thing you have to know is that a man is the head of the house whether you like it it not..any woman that thinks she can control her husband should be ready to become single again...and any single lady that want to be the man in her marriage will be chanced by another lady...FACT!

Check ur bible in Isaiah 4:1

In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, "We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!"

So if you like continue to do shakara, very soon 7 other women will be struggling to marry 1 man for no gain other than bearing his name...we are getting there gradually.

Neplusultra:
Hmmnnn..dis is brutal! Now I know wot dey say abt girls who wear butt pad..who is she still tryin to seduce? See d example Kim K is setting! @Op u sound like a gentleman too,Pls u have to drop ur gentlemanliness and confront dis issue headon! If u dont want to divorce her den u have to be THE MAN in dat rltnshp! Am a woman but I condemn dis in strongest terms! Wah Dah H*#ll!! Also,it seems u don't have pple too cos if u do, she'll at least be afraid o someone in ur family.

onyichick:
I can't believe its butt pad dat is causing all this wahala.if ur wife wants to wear butt pad leave her to wear it abi is it ur body,she feels comfortable wearing it.

nodullin:
Op: pls what tribe is she

Rep042:


I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. [size=16pt]I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo)asked me to hold my peace.[/size] It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.


Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.

She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

Sleekyshuga:
****vexing mood*****

Who the hell does she even think she is? What set of generational women are mothers producing these days? This is too much for 1 man now ..

@OP, I blame you for virtually everything..

Firstly, you dated/courted her for 2years, and you knew she had this tongue lashing mouth, yet, u went ahead and married her? What does that make you? A good guy?

Secondly, there is a saying: "The day you ever allow a woman pay your bills, that day you become her slave". Trust me... She can be all sweet and rosy, and even plead with you to let her do it, and if finally you fall for her charm, and she does it and continously do it, you are in for the worst..

Borrowing from friends, family members etc would have being more responsible, and would have kept your respect in check than dealing with your abusive wife..

Thirdly, you fought with your wife.. You dragged her, and she dragged u!! What a disgusting scenario.. Clap for yourself!! You did well by beating a lady.. There are other better ways of treating a nagging/abusive wife..

Lastly, your wife will never CHANGE.. She is in a world of her own, coupled with the support and encouragement she is getting from her people.. She has sounded it to you.. She wants a DIVORCE.. What are you still waiting for? Until she kills you? It's obvious you don't value your life..

"The shits I keep hearing about marriages keeps me on an alert daily"..

miredia:
Confidently spoken in Nigeria, how about a repetition while resident in the U.S

guass:
Ur woes will triple geometrically if she leaves. U are like a CAPTAIN (controller) of a SHIP, and the woman the engine with which the ship is going smoothly, in a severe weather, STORM, u do not throw away the engine into the sea just because the engine is disappointing. Am coming back let me go tru every posts first.