HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Well said

Timbuktou:
But why do women loves lies and self-deceit so much? All these women screaming marriage is not compulsory are the very same ones who'll say a guy dating them for four years is "wasting their time". What exactly do you want women?

Women loooove getting married. Fact. Yet they want to get married strictly on their own terms, forgetting that they aren't getting married to themselves and as such need to account for other elements in the equation.

Tobechi20, do you really want a society filled with single mothers and fatherless children? What sort of foolishness has seized your faculties? You think having a solid family is a luxury? Dude, you should not be dabbling into things you know nothing about. I can bet my left ball that you're not even in a serious relationship not to talk of being married or even having children. Men who carry responsibility don't have such funky(forgive me Saga) ideas and definitely don't go around spreading prescription for the degeneration of society.

First things first, Tobechi20, get a girlfriend in the real world, get laid and stop looking for cheap puzzy on nairaland. You are marked, mister. Some of us will not tolerate foolishness from "men" in these parts.

elantraceey:
Nice one op


The pressure they put on ladies sometimes is too much , forgetting that marriage is just just a day affair.

Marriage should be a lifetime affair. Wedding is the one-day ceremony.

elantraceey:
Nice one op


The pressure they put on ladies sometimes is too much , forgetting that marriage is just just a day affair.

marriage a day affair! How?

deavicky:
marriage a day affair! How?

boolet:

Marriage should be a lifetime affair. Wedding is the one-day ceremony.

typo , corrected.

Obinoscopy:
But husbands are scarce. Same goes for wives, but that of husbands' is a much worse.

Husbands and wives are not scarce, Good people are just generally scarce. There are enough males to go round the females. Our preferences just brings about the scarcity. Everyone wants to settle down with mr \mrs perfect. I have scores of male friends who desperately want to settle down, these are guys who can get a girl to marry them in 48hours, but they all have preferences and unrealistic expectations, hence the wife material scarcity and lamentation. The same applies to my female friends. A lady lamenting of husband scarcity probably has 2men disturbing her for marriage, but for one reason or the other, be it genuine or unrealistic, she is not interested and she keeps looking for husband in sokoto when he's just in her shokoto.

...But I must say that in as much as people, both genders have unrealistic expectations when searching for spouses, one should NOT be forced to settle for any human just to bow to societal pressure.

Being single isn't a bad thing. But being a single parent (especially if it's by choice) is very bad for the child.

Lamentation of a frustrated single lady

I think the op is right... as a single working class, I get the " when are you getting married question" left, right and center... like my life depended on it.. and it makes me uncomfortable sometimes.
I have also noticed that the questions comes more from guys too.

I've heard this b4.

cytochromeC:


Husbands and wives are not scarce, Good people are just generally scarce. There are enough males to go round the females. Our preferences just brings about the scarcity. Everyone wants to settle down with mr \mrs perfect. I have scores of male friends who desperately want to settle down, these are guys who can get a girl to marry them in 48hours, but they all have preferences and unrealistic expectations, hence the wife material scarcity and lamentation. The same applies to my female friends. A lady lamenting of husband scarcity probably has 2men disturbing her for marriage, but for one reason or the other, be it genuine or unrealistic, she is not interested and she keeps looking for husband in sokoto when he's just in her shokoto.

...But I must say that in as much as people, both genders have unrealistic expectations when searching for spouses, one should NOT be forced to settle for any human just to bow to societal pressure.

Your post in bold summarises everything I said. A good guy is every girl's dream husband while a good lady is every man's dream wife. Good husbands and good wives are scarce. However, the reason why getting a good husband is much more difficult than getting a wife is because most girls can't woo a guy even if they discovered he'll make a good husband.

Yes, I agree there are unrealistic expectations. I also agree that no one is perfect and that we can still marry someone despite his or her flaws. But my brother, there are some things that are "non-negotiably" needed before a guy or a lady can get married. Whether good guys/ladies are scarce or not, we must marry good guys/ladies. It's non-negotiable. Else, we will be wretched for the rest of our lifes.

Obinoscopy:
You post in bold summarises everything I said. A good guy is every girl's dream husband while a good lady is every man's dream wife. However, the reason why getting a good husband is much more difficult than getting a wife is because most girls can't woo a guy even if they discovered he'll make a good husband.

Yes, I agree there are unrealistic expectations. I also agree that no one is perfect and that we can still marry someone despite his or flaws. But my brother, there are some things that are "non-negotiably" needed before a guy or a lady can get married. Whether good guys/ladies are scarce or not, we must marry good guys/ladies. It's non-negotiable. Else, we will wretched for the rest of our life.

Lol. I agree. And that is why i am of the opinion that people should just take their time and not rush into this institution that can either make or break someone for life. Too many bad marriages these days due to lack of good foundation.

Nice write up from OP but I disagree the fact that this problem is only happening here in Nigeria alone. I hate when I see us painting our beloved country black and also labelled our culture as a boundage. The problem here is everywhere and no country is excluded.

Marriage is not a do or die affair.
There are still good men and good women in the world,don't believe that satanic BS.

Personally speaking,I would marry when I am ready no matter how long it takes to get ready.
10years of a beautiful marriage before I die,is better than 40years of domestic abuse in whatever form.

But girls are d ones championing the idea of "no sex till marriage". Dey stay hor.ny all nite and instead of going out dia to get laid and moving on weda it leads to mariage or not, dey start manipulating a guy 4 mariage to avoid d so called "sin"

Only God knows what women want

If you guys want to get married on your own terms put your vibrator in a suit and marry it

The truth is a lot of women don't want to be submissive or sensible and this is where their problem arises from

Why should a woman trap me with pregnancy? Why should I impregnate a woman I don't love?

Seriously after reading this I lost more respect for women. The Op is a woman and I think she reasons like a fish.

zeb04:
Marriage is not a do or die affair.
There are still good men and good women in the world,don't believe that satanic BS.

Personally speaking,I would marry when I am ready no matter how long it takes to get ready.
10years of a beautiful marriage before I die,is better than 40years of domestic abuse in whatever form.

Not all men are abusive.


Why must you reason like ewu gambia

babs01:
make una no marry again sebi e no compulsory, useless ppl, den don dey Bleep since age 16, who wan marry una self.

Marriage is this,is that...
whoever wishes to should either marry or remain single ....and keep shut for life

pure feminist rantings

scribble:



Not all men are abusive.


Why must you reason like ewu gambia

are you just being stoopid? Didn't see where I wrote there are still good men/women in the world.

If you don't like what I wrote just read and move ahead

zeb04:
are you just being stoopid? Didn't see where I wrote there are still good men/women in the world.

If you don't like what I wrote just read and move ahead

Not all men are abusive

If u attract abusive men then the problem is you

Try mfm school of deliverance

I read only the first paragraph

















































And I still don't get it.












































Oh wait! Oh I get it.







































Nah, just kidding. I still don't get it. ;DI read only the first paragraph

















































And I still don't get it.












































Oh wait! Oh I get it.







































Nah, just kidding. I still don't get it.

scribble:



Not all men are abusive

If u attract abusive men then the problem is you

Try mfm school of deliverance

I thot I was talking to someone with a brain.

As regards advice,take your sisters there.

zeb04:
I thot I was talking to someone with a brain.

As regards advice,take your sisters there.

One sister. Happily married. One boy. One girl.

You on the other hand are still struggling with what part of your body to show on nairaland

My sister go to mfm sooner than later

NaijaOptimist:

Marriage is this,is that...
whoever wishes to should either marry or remain single ....and keep shut for life

on your own

I so much detest that Number 2

scribble:



One sister. Happily married. One boy. One girl.

You on the other hand are still struggling with what part of your body to show on nairaland

My sister go to mfm sooner than later

Oh, your sister got her husband after her mfm delivrance? Now, I understand where you coming from.

Hahahaha and you had to check my profile? You are more stupid than I thought.

you have issue with single happy ladies....I dont blame you much, you might be a product of a dysfunctional home or your mum didn't teach you well.

It's not a must to get married and anyone who allows another manipulate him/her into marriage should blame no one but themselves, simples.

scribble:



One sister. Happily married. One boy. One girl.

You on the other hand are still struggling with what part of your body to show on nairaland

My sister go to mfm sooner than later

Oh, your sister got her husband after her mfm delivrance....is that how old and unlucky she was anyways Now, I understand where you coming from.

Hahahaha and you had to check my profile to so you could make yourself feel good..... You are more stupid than I thought.

you have issue with single happy ladies....I dont blame you much, you might be a product of a dysfunctional home or your mum didn't teach you well.

Its not just mentality, Its culture and philosophy.

You want to be like the white pple in black pple's world.

zeb04:


Oh, your sister got her husband after her mfm delivrance....is that how old and unlucky she was anyways Now, I understand where you coming from.

Hahahaha and you had to check my profile to so you could make yourself feel good..... You are more stupid than I thought.

you have issue with single happy ladies....I dont blame you much, you might be a production of a dysfunctional home or your mum didn't teach you well.

stop being delusional homegirl...just like u assumed all men are abusive...there are actually loving, caring, doting and well to do guys out here...even on Nairaland and there are good women attached to these men...

I checked your profile to learn more about you...not to feel good about myself and I saw what may potentially be an attractive and good woman but bogged down by stereotypes...like men are abusive in nature...

im glad you're happy and single and if you're so happy that you want to die that way good for you...I could not be perturbed.

I also have some single male happy friends who maybe you should meet...since u guys have so much in common...

Stop assuming im from a dysfunctional home or dragging my mother in this...is it cos of this your bad mouth that youre "happily single"?

Dont let us go to that extreme because my mouth can make you reason your life my dear

happy sunday and pls go to church...u may find a suitor there...if you care for one.

carefreewannabe:
Nice one OP.

The best are the religious hypocrites who will cite the Bible to judge and condemn others forgetting these passages:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged."



I remember one thread about Genevieve Nnaji. It was about a dress she wore. The ladies commented on the dress, and 80% of the MALE posters asked why she wasn't married, yet. Are men more desperate to get married?

Men are, but