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5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. - Religion (3) - Nairaland

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Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Seunannointing: 6:24pm On Feb 23, 2015
benuejosh:
really. so you go to church to look at and observes what pastors do instead of listening to what God has for You. no wonder you are still on the same level for years now. please this is a new year, a year of CHANGE.

Abi oo, u can see how ignorant people are o! Op thinks its funny! Its not! It only reveals ur level of ignorance! Until u become one! U cant understand why pastors do so
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Lovexme(m): 6:27pm On Feb 23, 2015
At the end of the day, know God for yourself.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 6:28pm On Feb 23, 2015
CounsellorWise:



Now I can say with all authority that you are demented. All your posts are either hateful, chauvinistic, callow or nonsensical all together. You need sound counselling and true repentance. Sadism and pessimism are a suicidal combination.
Get saved, get well soon!


Your sense of reasoning is demented as well. If not you will counter my present post and stop spewing gibberish. Are pastors not thieves What is the modus operandi of the pastors Is not about the tithes and offerings You need to have ur brain examined. They milk people dry and program them to mugun like u. Religious slave.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Cutehector(m): 6:28pm On Feb 23, 2015
Crixina:
sometimes they say weird things that I can't even turn to my neighbour to say,and I will also keep a face that my neighbour won't even dare turn to say.

Like tell your neighbour "know me now o if you no know me now,you go soon fill form to see me o"
What the f....u.. What!
lol dis got me laffn so hard.. grin grin grin nigerian pastors need deliverance demselves. I dnt even turn to my neighbour sef. All ds dr nonsense compulsive statements dat make u do what u don't want to do. Den if u dnt do it, u wil now be thinkn dat maybe others wil think of u as a pagan or sadist or smth den u r compelled to do it. Well, I dnt blame them, i blame the trend setters.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by felsunseg(m): 6:30pm On Feb 23, 2015
patrickdarlins:
wooow....


H
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A
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....SWERRY!!
nah u knw o
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 6:33pm On Feb 23, 2015
searching4love:



Your sense of reasoning is demented as well. If not you will counter my present post and stop spewing gibberish. Are pastors not thieves What is the modus operandi of the pastors Is not about the tithes and offerings You need to have ur brain examined. They milk people dry and program them to mugun like u. Religious slave.

"Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth" (Proverbs 6:2).
Be warned!
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 6:35pm On Feb 23, 2015
Sarimah:
and they end up baptizing the mic with saliva

"Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth" (Proverbs 6:2).
Be warned!
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 6:45pm On Feb 23, 2015
CounsellorWise:


"Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth" (Proverbs 6:2).
Be warned!


No be only thou, na doughnut. Dey quote unreasonable fallacies instead of using ur brain. Smh
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by mytime24(f): 6:58pm On Feb 23, 2015
jacksparrow1207:


Would it be right if i asked your age?
ask nA, mr troublemakEr undecided
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Jblaiseboy(m): 7:05pm On Feb 23, 2015
isorite....i guess i will waka passs....no bem me nd u o...my cup remain small to full.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 7:11pm On Feb 23, 2015
mytime24:
ask nA, mr troublemakEr undecided

Oya tell me, how old are u? 14? tongue
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by synergycom19: 7:16pm On Feb 23, 2015
Rich4god:
Blowing breeze into the mic... Like say the spirit go come out of him belle, then pass through the mic and out of the speaking...
won't you shut your month what did you know about the HOLY SPIRIT
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 7:17pm On Feb 23, 2015
patrickdarlins:
I

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I don't care who you are, you are atheist.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by synergycom19: 7:19pm On Feb 23, 2015
searching4love:



No be only thou, na doughnut. Dey quote unreasonable fallacies instead of using ur brain. Smh
Did you think you have a brain?if you insults any Man of God Again,a Curse will follow you and your generation,They shall work but others will eat the fruit of  there's labour
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by jayAjoku(m): 7:20pm On Feb 23, 2015
I


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Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by soulfood(m): 7:25pm On Feb 23, 2015
stardom call to djs.....Great Music and djs for Events

1 Like

Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Rich4god(m): 7:25pm On Feb 23, 2015
synergycom19:

won't you shut your month what did you know about the HOLY SPIRIT
.....?
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 7:41pm On Feb 23, 2015
synergycom19:

Did you think you have a brain?if you insults any Man of God Again,a Curse will follow you and your generation,They shall work but others will eat the fruit of  there's labour


Dumb bottom u are no different from a programmed robot. Everyone is a man/woman of God or are you of the devil grin mumu like u be quoting bible verses u don't understand. Jesus was persecuted on earth, abused and nailed on the cross but instead of cursing he prayed for the forgiveness of sins of those responsible. That is the kind of love Christianity preaches not this fanatic and radicalized version you people exhibit. You condem people who questions or disagree with your school of thought to hell and various curses. You have been brainwashed to the extent that pastors are now equal to God in your eyes. I'm not surprised anyways. You call the scammers men of God, we call them God of gullible Men grin. Mumu

1 Like

Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Sabadon(m): 7:57pm On Feb 23, 2015
abejide1000:
What about the new shoes they show, they'll start demonstrating...look at my legs, and Peter walked on water, he took the first step and nothing happened, and he walked and he walked again, and he started walking like this grin grin
hahahahahahaha I laff sotay my phone fall for my ewedu soup...
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by ifeoluwa237(m): 8:09pm On Feb 23, 2015
U better Dnt let d wrath of God fall on u wif wat u are saying
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 8:10pm On Feb 23, 2015
Lionize:

1. Halleluya means "Praise the Lord", simples. So, it should be shouted anywhere, and everywhere, just keep praising God, no tiring.

2. Is it good for the members to sleep or be uninterested? Why did they go there in the first place, to sleep of listen to the word of God?Let him fire them up with that if it would work.

3. See no. 1 above. Let God be praise anytime, no dulling, it is not calling his name in vain. David said, may his tongue cling to the roof of his mouth if he ever ceases to praise God.

4. His ears operate in the 'supersonic' realm then so your small shout was not enough to be heard the way he wanted it.

5. So he shouldn't wipe his face again if he perspires? Please cut them some slack.

Nothing to add, don't criticize your spiritual leaders, pray for them and walk up to them and correct them in love when you feel the need to. Stop criticizing your spiritual leaders!
You know what? We criticize others when we have not taken their place. If you are a pastor tomorrow, you'll do those things you're complaining above more than 100 times your pastor. You'll sweat a river. Encourage them abeg.
leave d guy who is jst anxious 2 mke fp,he's got no idea of wot he jst did
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Wolexdey(m): 8:12pm On Feb 23, 2015
These six things doth the LORD hate: yes, seven are an abomination unto Him. A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. (Proverbs 4:20-21)

Op thanks for your write up but do not forget to take the word of God and advice above very seriously.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Nobody: 8:12pm On Feb 23, 2015
abejide1000:
What about the new shoes they show, they'll start demonstrating...look at my legs, and Peter walked on water, he took the first step and nothing happened, and he walked and he walked again, and he started walking like this grin grin
hohoho funny u,christ embassy pastors r guilty as charged
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by buchichukwu69: 8:18pm On Feb 23, 2015
What about pastors who campaign for corrupt politicians?
Anyway campaigning at the pulpit is not funny sha. It is rather annoying.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by bobisky(m): 8:18pm On Feb 23, 2015
U are not a christian but if u are,u are a disgrace 4 writing this trash.it shows u dnt und the tins God.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Princewell2012(m): 8:47pm On Feb 23, 2015
Actualy i don't know where we (christians) realy gets those slogans from. This is what i called lips service. In the actual sense, when you command me to praise the lord, u actualy want me to perform an actions, such as waving ur hands over the air, role urself on d floor, kneel on d floor, or begin to say something nice, like, you re a wonderful God, hallow be thy name, i cannot do without you, so on and so forth. Thats how to praise God. Not the other ways round. Ask a believer the meaning of haleluyah, he will only tell u it is an heavenly language, thats all.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by femi4: 8:49pm On Feb 23, 2015
starlingleanets:
don't mind the guy dear, little did he know i'm better than him in faith
You are canally minded.......change before its too late
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Polyflexzy(m): 8:49pm On Feb 23, 2015
starlingleanets:
Like play like play these things are becoming unbecoming and more like an outbreak among the pastors in Nigeria. Well as a young scientist i'm born into a world of observation and as an observer i pay attention to minute things. But much more as a Christain it seems good to put into light some bad habit exhibited by pastors of various churches in Nigeria. Below are some of them:

1. Shout Hallelujah: the Pastor will just climb the pulpit and as soon as he does he tells the church "Let somebody shout Hallelujah" and the church will shout Hallelujah though the church don't know why they are shouting hallelujah grin so to them it has become a routine. For a sermon of 15 minutes the pastor go don give hallelujah order like 30 times grin

2. Amen: Pastor sees the congregation is not interested in his formulated sermon so hm go say "Amen somebody" the church go reply Amen like he has just said a prayer.

3. Praise the Lord: while there is nothing wrong in praising the Lord yet everything is wrong on how you call the Holy name of the Lord. The pastor may see a sister sleeping so to wake her up he says "praise the Lord" for the fun of it. You think God will be happy with you ba?

4. I can't hear You: He just said a prayer like this "Before the end of this month you are going to smile to the bank" and so the people respond with a loud Amen, though he heard them he will still say "i can't hear you". Una dey lie for pulpit ba?

5. Wiping of Face: Still under Air condition pastor go still dey wipe face. Picking up and dropping the white handkerchief every minutes and that happens when he is on pulpit only.

If you have some you can drop it Pastors must learn.


senseless post. After yu wonda why muslim dey tek dia religion so serious upto d extent of beheading ur type.
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by elomepee: 9:02pm On Feb 23, 2015
May God help you people in this Naira land.

1 Like

Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by rago(m): 9:09pm On Feb 23, 2015
benuejosh:
really. so you go to church to look at and observes what pastors do instead of listening to what God has for You. no wonder you are still on the same level for years now. please this is a new year, a year of CHANGE.

u shud apologize
wrong
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by Godson201333(m): 9:29pm On Feb 23, 2015
starlingleanets:
Like play like play these things are becoming unbecoming and more like an outbreak among the pastors in Nigeria. Well as a young scientist i'm born into a world of observation and as an observer i pay attention to minute things. But much more as a Christain it seems good to put into light some bad habit exhibited by pastors of various churches in Nigeria. Below are some of them:

1. Shout Hallelujah: the Pastor will just climb the pulpit and as soon as he does he tells the church "Let somebody shout Hallelujah" and the church will shout Hallelujah though the church don't know why they are shouting hallelujah grin so to them it has become a routine. For a sermon of 15 minutes the pastor go don give hallelujah order like 30 times grin

2. Amen: Pastor sees the congregation is not interested in his formulated sermon so hm go say "Amen somebody" the church go reply Amen like he has just said a prayer.

3. Praise the Lord: while there is nothing wrong in praising the Lord yet everything is wrong on how you call the Holy name of the Lord. The pastor may see a sister sleeping so to wake her up he says "praise the Lord" for the fun of it. You think God will be happy with you ba?

4. I can't hear You: He just said a prayer like this "Before the end of this month you are going to smile to the bank" and so the people respond with a loud Amen, though he heard them he will still say "i can't hear you". Una dey lie for pulpit ba?

5. Wiping of Face: Still under Air condition pastor go still dey wipe face. Picking up and dropping the white handkerchief every minutes and that happens when he is on pulpit only.

If you have some you can drop it Pastors must learn.


so you only go to church to observe the Pastors characters...Then Devil is dancing on your head oo
Re: 5 Funny Things Pastors Do On The Pulpit. by deloon(m): 11:06pm On Feb 23, 2015
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