How To Handle Jealousy - Romance - Nairaland
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Sex Is Overrated Just Because Men Can't Handle Jealousy / How To Handle Jealousy And Fear Before They Kill Your Relationship / African Women With Big Butts, Oyinbo Ladies Would Die Of Jealousy (2) (3) (4)
| How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 2:09pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
1. UNDERSTAND THE EMOTION OF JEALOUSY I think jealousy is a combination of fear and anger. (fear of loosing someone or a cherished situation and anger that some one else is 'moving in' on the person or situation that is of much value to you. its a destructive emotion guys, nothing good comes out of it! so the earlier you recognise it the better for you. it's your only self defence. 2. KNOW WHY YOU FEEL JEALOUS IN THE FIRST PLACE figure out why you are feeling jealous. jealousy is reliving from one past failure. If you're honest with yourself you'll realise that feeling jealous only rears its ugly head when you feel threatened or afraid of being abandoned. motivators for feeling jealous includes: high level of insecurity anger towards yourself and fear of abandonment and vulnerability. 3. TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE EFFECT YOUR JEALOUSY BEHAVIOR HAS ON OTHER PEOPLE It can be easy to justify your suspicious mind by viewing the defensive responses of others as confirmation to your suspicion. However, defensiveness is a natural response to people who are placed under pressure to justify their actions,whereabouts and thoughts all of the time. Being constantly questioned about what you are doing is tiring and quickly demoralizing. 4. TACKLE YOUR FEELINGS NOW Question your jealousy anytime it emerges. When you begin to question what makes you jealous in the moment, you can begin to take positive steps to manage the feeling constructively,without the cloud of negative emotions that accompanies jealousy. questions you should ask yourself  "why am i jealous over this?" "what's making me jealous?" "why do i feel threatened?".  5. CHANGE ANY FALSE BELIEVES THAT MIGHT BE FUELING YOUR JEALOUSY There are often false, baseless beliefs that underlie reactions of jealously. you can often eliminate the jealousy. Some common believes are: "Everyone is out to get my money" "If this person leaves me, i won't have any friends" In both cases, these are generalizations that could never be applied to any person you know or meet. 6. TAKE NOTICE OF WHICH PART OF YOUR BODY IS AFFECTED Fear is often felt as a dropping or clutching sensation in your stomach, why anger manifests itself as a burning tight sensation on your shoulders and jaw. Noticing bodily sensations can be a telltale signal for you to start changing how you are thinking and to question the jealous feelings. 7. APOLOGIZE Before doing anything else, make the other person feel better if you've gone far enough to expose your jealous emotions around him or her. Realize that by not apologising, you are in actual effect seeking to punish the other person for your feelings. The fact that you apologise will break the cycle. say something like "i'm sorry for asking those questions of you" "I've had some silly jealous thoughts that have cause me to imagine what wasn't there". This is sufficient to give both of you space to discuss what has just taken place. 8. COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS AND DIALOG ABOUT YOUR JEALOUSY PROBLEM TOGETHER Sharing your true feeling with the affected person and talking it through can be a constructive way to start mending the damage done. When talking through please take heed of the following: Stick to the 'I' statements rather than saying "you make me feel..." Avoid passing on blame to the other person. 9. BEAR IN MIND AT ALL TIMES THAT THE FEELING OF JEALOUSLY IS ABOUT YOU, NOT THE OTHER PERSON Any sense that things are out of control means that you need to transfer the intensity of what you are feeling into something constructive instead of continuing to over analyze the situation. Do something that takes you out of yourself and forces you to focus beyond the situation or relationship. its healthier for your emotions.. 10. LEARN FROM YOUR JEALOUSLY you are frightened when a relationship is new and still has some way to go before it feels secure. This is a commonplace feelings in young relationships for many people, and both possessives as well as sense of vulnerability as getting close to someone, can drive feelings of jealousy. ( ...and we are so fond of seducing people; testing our power can be one a very harming pass time ). 11. TRUST YOURSELF Trust begins at home, with yourself. If u learn to trust yourself, you can radiate this trust onto others. Begin by making a list of all your good points. Stick this list up somewhere that you can see it regularly, to remind yourself that you are fully equipped with great talent,skills and features already. Moreover, only compare yourself to yourself, always seeking to outdo your last achievements without worry about what other people are doing. 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Nobody: 2:11pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
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| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Hazardd(m): 2:11pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
fine writeup ....  1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Enegod(m): 2:14pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
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| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Tallesty1(m): 2:21pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
Teacher |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by apholaryn: 2:22pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
ctrl c from only God kno's wia....ctrl v on Nairaland.. God is watching u @op |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by alberto2k(m): 3:01pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
Whoa! Mirexxx you try gan...  May your ancestors increase your wisdom, knowledge and ur backside  |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Nobody: 3:02pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
Nice one op. Thanks!!! |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Nobody: 3:07pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
So people still jealous. Yorubas used to say emi ojowu o kin gun (a life of a jealous man is always short). Say no to jealousy it kills faster than disease. |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:17pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
lucrownt: 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by LewisO: 3:18pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
I think mirexxx is now having sense with her topics. |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:18pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
alberto2k:lol amin 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:19pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
LewisO:wow! u just got a brain! 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:20pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
Tallesty1:student 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:21pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
diddydiva:thanks |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Nobody: 3:22pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
. alberto2k:Alberto!!!!! Hw u take knw say my babe no get enough backside You must be a traitor  |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by ivyT(f): 3:27pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
Sh*t's too long to read * bounces off* |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by TheSonOfMark(m): 3:28pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
I'm tempted to send this link to my girlfriend but in an odd sort of way, I like the fact that she's jealous. She's pretty, social and intelligent and could easily lure a guy she fancies but she's stuck to me even when my naughtiness comes to fore. I LOVE YOU MFON. |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by alberto2k(m): 3:31pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
zick19: Cuz I've always been behind the scene But I'm no traitor bro |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:31pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
zick19:long tym zick..hw u doing? |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:34pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
ivyT:even with those big eyes?? 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by alberto2k(m): 3:37pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
ivyT: *locks door and flings key in the middle of River Niger* Bae you read that shii or u you'll leave here without any piece of cloth  |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Nobody: 3:39pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
mirexxx:I'm cool dear..... aw u? I guess i will stop getting jealous when other guys start chykin u here on NL.... love your thread tho |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by Nobody: 3:41pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
alberto2k:No mind me bro, jez kidding Diz one wey u dey appear nd disappear diz dayz ehn, wetin dey shele? |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:42pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
zick19:thanks boo 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by LewisO: 3:43pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
mirexxx:Mumu girl. |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by mirexxx(f): 3:44pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
LewisO:mumu boy! 1 Like |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by ivyT(f): 3:46pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
alberto2k: Let's c what uve got |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by LewisO: 3:47pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
mirexxx:Your mumu don stop abi? praise the Lord! |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by ivyT(f): 3:48pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
| Re: How To Handle Jealousy by alberto2k(m): 3:50pm On Feb 26, 2015 |
zick19: Bro... Been busy with some serious ish. Come u no dey sell weed again, abi NDLEA don dey trouble u again? |
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