tobechi74:


no,i will make a terrible husband,
i am not emotional. Wont give her the love she wants

You ain't emotional, that means you won't scream at her, talk down to her or even give her the upper cut she occasionally deserves...

Dude, you'd make a perfect husband

kandiikane:
@TV01
If you actually read my post instead of quoting to argue against, you will see where I specifically wrote modern marriages, op is to referring love and hurt. And I specifically referred to the history of marriage. I am sure you went to school and can differentiate when someone speaks of history and when someone speaks of modern.

I did read you post actually - and again just now before responding to this one - just to be sure !
And no, I didn't quote you merely to argue against you, but because, I disagreed with your publicly aired statement. Although I whole-heartedly affirm I always find you worth "debating" !

kandiikane:
The modern day idea of marriage, the idea many people have even by non-Christians has its origins from the bible, involving love, etc. The idea has been bastardized for so long that it has turned into a fairytale, people should be happy and grateful that they can actually now freely marry for love and not just for some contractual reasons enacted by men to further their interests. You should read up on the history of marriages, maybe even try your own culture. Ask a Nigerian about marriage and see whether he won't quote bible.

Firstly, we'd have to agree on what the biblical presrciption for marriage really is - sas opposed to what people may believe it is. Then we'd have to see if it had been correctly adhered to, in correctly implemented or bastardised.

And believe you me - I am the "marriage man". I understand it in it's raison d'etre, it's dynamic and it's benefits, anthroplogically, religiously and culturally. None of that changes the true essence of marriage and it's purpose. I champion it "aspirationally"

kandiikane:
Can you please explain to me how it benefits women more?

Primarily as it means she and her children are invested in by a man commited to their well-being. In a sense, women have more to lose given what they contribute to child-bearing and the fact that even after birth the burden of child-raising typically falls unevenly on them.

kandiikane:

what because she won't be called names anymore?

Like I said aspirationally. I am not distracted by ill-founded cultural norms. Nor do I lose focus on marriages true essence due to abuse of it.

kandiikane:

Because she can have a child since women are the only humans who want children?

A proper understanding of marriage will enbale one to see the centrality of children to it's existence and childrens benefit from it.

Like I said, I focus and champion marriage on it's true essence - you appear to be railing against abuses. Hence my earlier comments. You also seem to be pursuing a male vs female line - although that may be in reaction to OP.

kandiikane:

What benefits will marriage provide for her after achieving everything she needs for herself?

Marriage is not primarily about the self-actualisation of the two individuals within it - more the synergistic outcome of the two and any offspring.

kandiikane:
The op and I are quite different as I do not hate marriage, I just don't see how women benefit more from it or why it is being painted as a "heaven" where women should aspire to be, especially in these times when single women are achieving more than they ever will if they were married. You make it seem like men are doing women favours by getting married to them.

My take is that you both yourself and OP fail to understand it, it's benefits to both sexes, or appreciate it for it's beauty and simplicity.

I'd love to see you well married !


TV^MIC

5minsmadness:

Same with the females in this forum. A lot of angst and unnecessary poison against the male gender.


There should be some sort of forgiveness/healing session or something.

TV01 can moderate it

...humbly at your service - in pursuit of better marriage and flourishing societies.

First up; They (men,women) are not the enemy - "seek first to understand then to be understood"


TV^MIC

njokusboy:


see this one, who sleeps in church when they turn 29 =women
who spends all their money on olive oil from marriage prophets= woman
who spends their time reading on how to catch that perfect husband = women
who blames men for all their problems = single frustrated NL women

Mostly lies and exaggerations.


Abeg, I have made my point already, this is not going to turn into men vs women

TV01:

I did read you post actually - and again just now before responding to this one - just to be sure !
And no, I didn't quote you merely to argue against you, but because, I disagreed with your publicly aired statement. Although I whole-heartedly affirm I always find you worth "debating" !


Firstly, we'd have to agree on what the biblical presrciption for marriage really is - sas opposed to what people may believe it is. Then we'd have to see if it had been correctly adhered to, in correctly implemented or bastardised.

And believe you me - I am the "marriage man". I understand it in it's raison d'etre, it's dynamic and it's benefits, anthroplogically, religiously and culturally. None of that changes the true essence of marriage and it's purpose. I champion it "aspirationally"


Primarily as it means she and her children are invested in by a man commited to their well-being. In a sense, women have more to lose given what they contribute to child-bearing and the fact that even after birth the burden of child-raising typically falls unevenly on them.


Like I said aspirationally. I am not distracted by ill-founded cultural norms. Nor do I lose focus on marriages true essence due to abuse of it.


A proper understanding of marriage will enbale one to see the centrality of children to it's existence and childrens benefit from it.

Like I said, I focus and champion marriage on it's true essence - you appear to be railing against abuses. Hence my earlier comments. You also seem to be pursuing a male vs female line - although that may be in reaction to OP.



Marriage is not primarily about the self-actualisation of the two individuals within it - more the synergistic outcome of the two and any offspring.


My take is that you both yourself and OP fail to understand it, it's benefits to both sexes, or appreciate it for it's beauty and simplicity.

I'd love to see you well married !


TV^MIC

Lecture them, make I finish my work
I see you have added a microphone to ur list of e gadgets

kandiikane:


Mostly lies and exaggerations.


Abeg, I have made my point already, this is not going to turn into men vs women

Lies Hell no
Replace exaggerations with humour...

Yes,it won't turn to Men vs women

njokusboy:


or even give her the upper cut she occasionally deserves...

You don't even know who he will meet in future but you're sure whoever she is will occasionally deserve to be hit.


I prophesy healing into your life.

May all the violence leave your heart henceforth.

cococandy:

Hmmm going for looks unlike me.

I did that for the eccentric essence

Maybe cut my hair and pierce my nose next. Still thinking about it

Oya lets turn this woman-bashing-as-usual thread into something sensible. Everyborri bring your own discussion to dinner. I'll start:

@cococandy don't pierce your nose unless there's a jolly good reason for it. I had an additional ear piercing (with a good reason) but it scared the living daylights out of all my christian-naija aunties and roommates, so I took it off.
But where you place jewelry on your body matters. In Bini culture, only slaves wore upper arm bands. So our parents never let us wear them. Cutting your hair is seen as some as a shaming ritual (colonisation encouraged it in females, said it made them look "clean" ).

Anyhoo how do I convince le hubby to let me display my antique Brass statues? He says my love of antique Nigerian art is too close to loving Juju.

cococandy:


You don't even know who he will meet in future but you're sure whoever she is will occasionally deserve to be hit.


I prophesy healing into your life.

May all the violence leave your heart henceforth.

Lolzzz, I have like 3 sisters, I havnt hit any yet...
And yes, most of the girls I have dated have earned an upper cut at one point or the other..
I just cool off somewhere with a bottle of orijin. that they deserve it, doesn't mean, I give it..

Nd please, I don't need ur kind of prophecies.. ur definition of healing hovers around turning me to a zombie.. I no want

TV01:

I did read you post actually - and again just now before responding to this one - just to be sure !
And no, I didn't quote you merely to argue against you, but because, I disagreed with your publicly aired statement. Although I whole-heartedly affirm I always find you worth "debating" !


Firstly, we'd have to agree on what the biblical presrciption for marriage really is - sas opposed to what people may believe it is. Then we'd have to see if it had been correctly adhered to, in correctly implemented or bastardised.

And believe you me - I am the "marriage man". I understand it in it's raison d'etre, it's dynamic and it's benefits, anthroplogically, religiously and culturally. None of that changes the true essence of marriage and it's purpose. I champion it "aspirationally"


Primarily as it means she and her children are invested in by a man commited to their well-being. In a sense, women have more to lose given what they contribute to child-bearing and the fact that even after birth the burden of child-raising typically falls unevenly on them.


Like I said aspirationally. I am not distracted by ill-founded cultural norms. Nor do I lose focus on marriages true essence due to abuse of it.


A proper understanding of marriage will enbale one to see the centrality of children to it's existence and childrens benefit from it.

Like I said, I focus and champion marriage on it's true essence - you appear to be railing against abuses. Hence my earlier comments. You also seem to be pursuing a male vs female line - although that may be in reaction to OP.



Marriage is not primarily about the self-actualisation of the two individuals within it - more the synergistic outcome of the two and any offspring.


My take is that you both yourself and OP fail to understand it, it's benefits to both sexes, or appreciate it for it's beauty and simplicity.

I'd love to see you well married !


TV^MIC

oh so now, it's beneficial to both sexes, so why exactly did you state otherwise before? Why didn't you just say so in the beginning?

My initial post wasn't about what the bible says about marriage but what marriage was about in history.

My post was never intended to be a case of men vs women, you made it to be that way. From my post, a reasonable man won't see it in such light as all the things I wrote were mostly beneficial for him. He could marry off his child to secure assets for example, this is a positive for him, not a negative so I don't understand how you deduced that it was just a male vs woman issue I raised. It's just facts and nothing to do with the feud that is going on between the men and women on this forum.

....
Yes, children benefit from marriages, this still hasn't answered my question on how marriage is more beneficial to women. This is not about the children.

Now that most men don't use their children to secure assets, the benefits are based more on individuality rather than the sexes but it still doesn't change the fact that it was made for the benefit of men.

njokusboy:


Lolzzz, I have like 3 sisters, I havnt hit any yet...
And yes, most of the girls I have dated have earned an upper cut at one point or the other..
I just cool off somewhere with a bottle of orijin. that they deserve it, doesn't mean, I give it..

Nd please, I don't need ur kind of prophecies.. ur definition of healing hovers around turning me to a zombie.. I no want

Mtchew

cococandy:


Mtchew

tobechi74:


astrologically, i am the air type who deal with reasons. I am not emotional and see no reason for marriage

I see

Still you have not answered my questions.

njokusboy:


Lolzzz, I have like 3 sisters, I havnt hit any yet...
And yes, most of the girls I have dated have earned an upper cut at one point or the other..
I just cool off somewhere with a bottle of orijin. that they deserve it, doesn't mean, I give it..

Nd please, I don't need ur kind of prophecies.. ur definition of healing hovers around turning me to a zombie.. I no want

If most of the girls you've dated earned uppercuts, then it speaks volumes of your choices.

Erm

I so love nose rings on other women. Always have. The tiny ones though. So I figure why not try it?

I know folks attach too much symbolism to stuff like that.

Ankle chains
Waistbeads
Whatever babes.

I love all those things and hubby is cool with whatever I want to do with my body so nothing stopping me now.

It was my mom that used to get in the way. She would say it makes one resemble mammy water and ungodly.

But now guess who's not a mommy's girl anymore? Ces't moi!

Maybe I'll even color my hair a soft honey blonde when I cut it.

Onegai:


Oya lets turn this woman-bashing-as-usual thread into something sensible. Everyborri bring your own discussion to dinner. I'll start:

@cococandy don't pierce your nose unless there's a jolly good reason for it. I had an additional ear piercing (with a good reason) but it scared the living daylights out of all my christian-naija aunties and roommates, so I took it off.
But where you place jewelry on your body matters. In Bini culture, only slaves wore upper arm bands. So our parents never let us wear them. Cutting your hair is seen as some as a shaming ritual (colonisation encouraged it in females, said it made them look "clean" ).

Anyhoo how do I convince le hubby to let me display my antique Brass statues? He says my love of antique Nigerian art is too close to loving Juju.

njokusboy:

Repent

Most of the girls deserving upper cuts with you as the common denominator means you're the one with temper problems.

Every human being can't be at fault with you being the right one all the time.

Besides people annoy others each day. It Is normal.
Don't your fellow men annoy you sometimes?
You don't think of beating them because you see than as a match for you.

I'm quite sure you annoy some folks around you too. Imagine if every one of them thinks you deserve to be beaten for it just because they are stronger than you.

tobechi74:


will the certificate get you job?

It will get you a tax relief, actually.

Timbuktou:
I'm sorry you feel that way. The truth is I see women for what they are, it's nothing personal. You'll never hear me call women fish-brained, they are what they are and, as men, we have to deal with it from a place of understanding and tact not malice.

I'm just against "pedestalising" women except anyone who has personally shown me unconditional love. All I'm saying is any man expecting his love interest to be shittting roses will weep in the end. Just be real

Be real, I agree with you as nobody is perfect.

However go back to the post you quoted/agreed with

cococandy:
OP comes and says women are disposable (like tissue or styrofoam) and he's being hailed as wise and true.

Most of you guys on this forum have woman issues. I hope y'all find healing.

I doubt most guys on NL follow What they say

tobechi74:


no,i will make a terrible husband,
i am not emotional. Wont give her the love she wants

Good you have come to the place of self realization

cococandy:


Lol

But gay guys don't hate women sha o.

That reminds me, I need me a gay best friend.

U like trouble pass me

TV01:

...on the contrary, gays are the worst misogynists. Any pallying up with women is purely "strategic". They are also extremely racist and ageist, as would be expected given how [i]narcisitic[/i]the lifestyle is.

This is also coming from the person that has never met a happily married feminist. I just can't stand when someone says complete rubbish with so much confidence. Don't you have a baby to take care of? Go change diapers and wash baby bottles!

bukatyne:


I doubt most guys on NL follow What they say

Maybe they do. I don't want to believe folks who see men that respect women as wussies abi pansies (what's the favorite word again) will do otherwise in real life.

Wouldn't that be strange?

I was going to make this thread my b1tch but I see it's the same ol' women bashing sh1t.

.......Just some butt-hurt "kneegrows" crying as usual.

cococandy:


Maybe they do. I don't want to believe folks who see men that respect women as wussies abi pansies (what's the favorite word again) will do otherwise in real life.

Wouldn't that be strange?

You can't remember the thread of one lady who complained her bf was a saint offline and a devil online?

That is the story of most of them.

Initially I was always pissed when I read Some posts and see same people doing the exact opposite and I realized oh well, it is NL afterall and anybody foolish enough to pick absurd advices when What he/she was currently doing is clearly working is in O.Y.O state

So let's keep getting entertained.

cococandy:
who escaped albino?

I will kee you o.

Shollypopzz:
This is also coming from the person that has never met a happily married feminist. I just can't stand when someone says complete rubbish with so much confidence. Don't you have a baby to take care of? Go change diapers and wash baby bottles!

...do you have facts to the contrary. Gays are notorious for their all round bitchery - and well known for being violent, racist, misogynistic and ageist. They are probsbly the worst homophobes to boot

Are you a feminist? Are you happily married? End of story

And yes, I do have a baby to take care of - just fed and winded her - unlike some here who don't understand why they possess wombs, others who specialise in making imprecatory prayers in the hope that it wouldn't happen, and yet others, whose psychosis drives them to spam the whole place with pictures of children who obviously aren't theirs. Which one are you, and what's your point exactly?

Are you adding Fagg-hagism atop your crytpo feminism. Come, are you BananaBender - the one I sent packing


TV

kandiikane:

oh so now, it's beneficial to both sexes, so why exactly did you state otherwise before? Why didn't you just say so in the beginning?

I have never stated otherwise - not in this thread or any other. How could I? I am a marriage advocate

kandiikane:

My initial post wasn't about what the bible says about marriage but what marriage was about in history.

Albeit you still managed to get what the bible prescribes absolutely wrong and mistook some of the things marriage may have been used to do with what marriage was for. I gave you the "papers" example already

kandiikane:

My post was never intended to be a case of men vs women, you made it to be that way. From my post, a reasonable man won't see it in such light as all the things I wrote were mostly beneficial for him. He could marry off his child to secure assets for example, this is a positive for him, not a negative so I don't understand how you deduced that it was just a male vs woman issue I raised. It's just facts and nothing to do with the feud that is going on between the men and women on this forum.

Again, you did exactly what you claim not to have done - all the benefits you listed for men denied or somehow compromised the agency of marriage. Hence making marriage oppressive of women. And they are hardly the core benefits or aims of marriage per se.

kandiikane:

Yes, children benefit from marriages, this still hasn't answered my question on how marriage is more beneficial to women. This is not about the children.

Read again. And yes, children are central to the coming into being of marriage. Otherwise it's just men and women flenturing, for which we need no such institution and which could be ordered exactly as each couple wanted.

kandiikane:
Now that most men don't use their children to secure assets, the benefits are based more on individuality rather than the sexes but it still doesn't change the fact that it was made for the benefit of men.

You are still groping on the darkness here. I've repeatedly pointed out that what marriage may or may not have been used to accomplish does not change it's essence. And you persist in setting men against women by claiming marriage was made for mens benefit.


TV^MIC

TV01:

...do you have facts to the contrary. Gays are notorious for their all round bitchery - and well known for being violent, racist, misogynistic and ageist. They are probsbly the worst homophobes to boot
Are you a feminist? Are you happily married? End of story
And yes, I do have a baby to take care of - just fed and winded her - unlike some here who don't understand why they possess wombs, others who specialise in making imprecatory prayers in the hope that it wouldn't happen, and yet others, whose psychosis drives them to spam the whole place with pictures of children who obviously aren't theirs. Which one are you, and what's your point exactly?
Are you adding Fagg-hagism atop your crytpo feminism. Come, are you BananaBender - the one I sent packing

The same ol' balderdash year after year. Even kids won't make you any smarter or mature.

I am going to ignore the blatant generalization but where in the world are gays known for being racist, violent or misogynistic? Do you walk around with blind folds on or do you surround yourself with fellow foolish people who create jargon about people with different sexual orientation?
The rubbish you're saying is not even a stereotype, so I can't call you ignorant. You are just a liar! Please keep your malformed opinions to yourself.


YES!............LMAO @ "sent packing". A christian who specializes in lying, no surprise there.

Shollypopzz:


The same ol' balderdash year after year. Even kids won't make you any smarter or mature.

I am going to ignore the blatant generalization but where in the world are gays known for being racist, violent or misogynistic? Do you walk around with blind folds on or do you surround yourself with fellow foolish people who create jargon about people with different sexual orientation?
The rubbish you're saying is not even a stereotype, so I can't call you ignorant. You are just a liar! Please keep your malformed opinions to yourself.


YES!............LMAO @ "sent packing". A christian who specializes in lying, no surprise there.

Get out of here with your bogus SJW'ish and delusional ideological leaning ....first gay site I pulled up
http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html?t=11185048#page:showThread,11185048

And why ignore the "blatant generalisation na"

Faag-haag


TV

TV01:


Get out of here with your bogus SJW'ish and delusional ideological leaning ....first gay site I pulled up
http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html?t=11185048#page:showThread,11185048

And why ignore the "blatant generalisation na"
Faag-haag

TV

Jesus! You are even more of a weirdo than I thought. So, because someone made a thread criticizing the attitude of gays in a particular forum, therefore gays are violent, racist, misogynistic and b1tchy?!!

How is that link a proof of an existing stereotype?? Seriously, go back to daddy duties and stop talking with your a*ss.

tobechi74:


whenever she mentions marriage,run

Lol. I don't know if it's marriage phobia you have or it's commitment phobia. Assuming the girl doesn't mention marriage and you don't dispose off her till the end of your days, isn't the life long relationship between both of you akin to marriage?