babyosisi:
I feel sorry for the younger girls hearing all these scary stories

Mother inlaw lands slap on a DIL on both cheeks for picture
Mother inlaw tackles and pounds a DIL while refusing to give DIL her baby
MIL wants to breast feed grand baby and makes statements about being the real mother
MIL wants to enter baffroom with DIL
MIL pours soup on DIL
MIL hates Dil for not producing male children

kaboninc:


Lol @ wooing challenge....

So you're tough too? Hmmmm


Yes oh, shiit happens. Personally, I don't think the MIL will just allow this incident to slide especially as she got a scar on her face. Don't know how she thinks but the DIL should be careful. It is well.

babyosisi:


He hasn't told us his wife is crazy,has he?
He just didn't tell you the reasons she thinks the mom would harm her


I don't know where you get all these wild scenarios in stories
Laughing and playing with her
Where did that come from?
That a woman chose to be courteous to her visitors translates to laughing and playing
If they were laughing and playing,how then did the Dil sustain a slap?

By the way the MIL proved she could harm the DIL
She attacked her in her own home

iiichidodo:
Let us reiterate old flea bag, that it is your funeral however you dein to dispose of your mother or throw her into a meat grinder to please your wife..you're merely following the traits of your henpecked father. A bastard should have bigger balls and manhood, to each his own. .

freecocoa:
Did you not read that they were okay as that the time of this incident? What other issue needs resolving na?

Seriously you are asking if I want to compare? Any sane person knows where to draw the line, but being married doesn't mean your family become strangers, mama did no wrong wanting pics, people who love each other take things from themselves all the time, there is no boundary with pictures you can always get back with family, unless someone is very malicious, in which case, the DIL is the culprit, unless you believe mama wan jazz her grandchildren.

Then, I must say, your family isn't close knit if they can live like this.

crackhaus:

Well since you want to personalize it, I'll oblige...

I already know the type, characteristics, and qualities of women my mother gets along with, bringing one to her that doesn't fall into that category means I'm deliberately looking for trouble.

Does that answer your question?

bukatyne:


Except you are living with the OP, I will believe his interpretation of events.

He clearly said that Wife and Mama are not in good terms

And this is not about my family's closeness... It is about us understanding the fact that my brother is now married and there are new rules to play by.

If we doing that and maintaining peace means we are not close knit, we wear that badge with pride.

Thanks

babyosisi:


And you will never know the degree until marriage
Didn't someone share how they hide their laces and wrappers when their MIL come visiting
Imagine

freecocoa:
Now I see why you are sounding this way, if you can't take the woman who contributed to the DNA of your wife and children like your mum, you will never be able to give her the respect she deserves.

Ewuro4:


Too tough sef, had to run around the block 2x everyday

Mama must let it slide oh... Afterall she started the slap fest , even though we aren't told what prompted the slap, could be her ill words towards mama, we don't know. but a possibility. I mean she says mama is diabolic, that's huge. Saying that to mama's face could land her a slap for sure.

I hope the DIL apologize and move on. Finito

Abeg I wan call again

MadCow1:

[s]

Now it's Old flea bag huh? You keep coming up with funnier lines with each response.. Thanks for the jokes kid.

That said, you seem to think my placing my wife above my mother is a matter of pleasing my Wife or displeasing my mother which it isn't. It's simply the natural order of things. A Man, his wife and kids = His Family.. Your Mother, Father, siblings, uncles, village folks, friends, etc = Extended Family, acquaintances and third parties. The day my sons and daughters get married, they become independent and have started their own families, only an insecure parent would leave her home and go into her sons home to assault his wife over the photographs of her daughter in laws child.

I am indeed following the traits of my father and like I have told you for the umpteenth time, I have no shame nor regrets. I sure as hell would be a bastard should I forsake the ways that has served my father and his father well and follow your fathers ways, assuming you have a father that is.

You keep referring to your testicles in your responses and keep using it to equate your manhood. Well, balls are free for all men, Infact we all have two a piece so I guess as far as testicles go, all men are equal, but when it comes to measuring the attributes that makes up a Man, I doubt you would see anything about testicles on the appraisal form.

If your mother knowing fully well that she is also someone else's wife (once again assuming you know your mother and that she was legally married), she would have raised you to understand that what you owe her in your old age is a duty of care and that your primary responsibility as a Married man isn't her but your wife and kids. But I guess your mother (all previously stated assumptions about her remaining the same) raised you otherwise to see your wife as second to her in your family (assuming you have one).

To each his or her own indeed.. I have chosen to measure my manhood by how well I cater for and run my home, you have chosen to measure yours by the size of your testicles and I have no problems with that.

Take it easy kimosabe.. [/s]

bukatyne:


The rule that you treat your MIL like your mom is political.

It rarely plays that way in real life.

Rarely is the operative word

Amybijou:
OP,you need to be strong now.
DO NOT FOR ANY REASON LET ANY FAMILY MEMBER OF YOURS BREAK YOUR HOME, NOT EVEN YOU MOTHER.
You will be surprised that ur mother will leave you with the kids once u ask your wife out, she will not ask let alone care about how you are coping with the kids and work as a single parent.
Ur wife and u became "one" from the day u wedded. If your mum insists, give her space/stop every communications FOR NOW. Am sure the fight started when d attack got to its extreme. Hold ur peace my dear, family members have a way of breaking homes; I don't let them decide for me.
A colleague of mine said, the greatest mistake he made was to send his wife away cos of his family. Now he is lonely and his family members are living their own happy lives. His wife has refused to return due to his weakness of taking sides with his family members.

iiichidodo:
You don't expect us to read this nonsensical empty chest beating,do you,boy?..goes to show the small size of your penice.Shoot! if it wasnt for providence you'd be wearing pigtails jes to please your skank.Buck up son,you heard us? To each his own let the OP handle his biz like a man.

Dheartless:

will you take your advice if your husband beat up your dad for this same reason?

Raymie:
Now, this is just plain wrong. Instead of countering @MadCow's argument with superior points, all yhu do is measure balls and d1cks and denigerate his family. I hope yhu're not married because if yhu really act this way in real life, even yhur mum should be wary of yhu, leave all the NL show of love. That @MadCow has his priorities does not mean he loves his mother any less than yhu do yhurs. I align with his argument and I'm a confirmed mummy's boi. Funnily enough, I showed her this post this evening. She reasons alongside @MadCow's assertion. She even said that if the man dares drive his wife on account of this issue for a day, that he has lost control of his home forever, his mother may as well move in and take over headship of the home. As I mentioned to @Freecocoa, let's remove the hierachy and family ties and treat this case as between two feuding women. Judge it from that angle and advise OP therefrom.

iiichidodo:
You don't expect us to read this nonsensical empty chest beating,do you,boy?..goes to show the small size of your penice.Shoot! if it wasnt for providence you'd be wearing pigtails jes to please your skank.Buck up son,you heard us? To each his own let the OP handle his biz like a man.

Flytefalls:

So, essentially, you believe a man who chooses to take a wife and stand by her in a situation such as this has a lesser pen/s than the one who will follow mama and agree to drop his wife without acting upon any independent opinion he may have on the subject that may not be to mama's taste?

Why would a man need a big pen/s if he wanted his mother to unconditionally have it?

...I mean, yeah thanks mum for creating me and my vag but it does belong to my husband, that much I'm sure of, but I'm grateful still

BigBang666:
Mr op, sorry for your predicament, this is indeed a situation, no man wishes to find himself …. settling a fight btw ur wife and ur mum.
To settle this matter, you need to be objective and must not cloud your sense of judgment with emotional threats and blackmail from either party..(mum or wife)

-1st, ur mum slapped ur wife. (ur mum goofed)

-2nd ur wife retaliated, hence the fight (she goofed as well) .

Your wife has to apologize to ur mum.

then u have to point it out to ur mum that she messed up as well, by hitting ur wife(not in ur wife’s presence though)…asking her if her (ur mum) MIL ever slapped her?

Mr op, its ur family that’s in danger of disintegrating at the moment, so you have to man up and protect ur wife. Except you are of the school of thoughts that will choose ur mum over ur immediate family. (NB ur wife is urs, while ur mum is ur dads[i][/i]).
Goodluck!

iiichidodo:
Sob story of an irritant Woman prick...Better not infect the OP with your disease as his case is far more different and will need balls of steel to resolve.Else his life will be governed by mad women,a condition we observe you're very comfortable with.

iiichidodo:
Trying to put words in our mouths,are we lassie? Let us re-iterate that the OP should give both parties a time out-mum gets the 'hair dry treatment' and a cut off threat while wife takes a break from her matrimonial home-This allows both parties get an independent visceral feeling what they might get to lose with this stand off hanging about and look actively towards ending this mutually and amicably.We don't see any woman wrapping or mums boy here,all we see is a man taking control of his family's destiny and not suckin up to no woman with his fleabag pigtails.

jplay:

Both should apologize to each other. The mother should apologize like the wife. Telling the wife to be the only one to apologize is promoting partiality.

Sophyrocks:


So you are not married and you could point fingers at another person for being single. Nigerians and hypocrisy! Why? Remove the rafter from your eyes before removing the straw from another. I have not seen you point out the fact that the Op's mother was wrong for daring to slap his wife. She was the troublemaker here. What sort of mother goes about fighting in another person's home? Will such a woman get the respect she deserves? You dnt go formenting trouble expecting a pat in the back. Respect begets respect. If a MIL does not have such mentality in dealing with others, she should expect disrespect.

justwise:
[/b]

I hit back even harder.

Askseek:
@OP, I have been married for 15 years and will relate my xperience with my MIL and how my husband handled it. My relationship with my MIL was ok, I was independent and that did not agree well with my MIL mindset. Fast forward to the real story.
My inlaws marriage was over and they were in the middle of a separation for whatever reason one night she left the apartment and asked my husband if she could stay with us for 1 week. He called me and asked me that his mother needed to stay with us for a wk. we lived in a 2 bedroom and had 3 kids. With no hesitation I said yes, it was late and as far as I was concerned my husbands mother needed help who am I to say no. So set the mattress and made space she came and 1 week turned into a month. I realized there was no end to her stay and started to talk to my husband about finding a 3 bedroom apt. He refused, adamant that if we did that she wouldn't leave and he did not want to make her too comfortable. He wanted her to go. I continued to plead and cajole coz I knew if it was my mum I would want her to have her own space and privacy instead of sharing with kids. Eventually after about 4 months he agreed and when d lease ended we moved into a 3 bedroom and furnished a room for her. Let me add here that this move was a significant increase and I took a second job so we could afford it. There were many pettiness which I swallowed and never mentioned a word to my husband. Stuff like telling my kids I did not know how to cook otherwise I wouldn't be feeding them the kind of food they ate. She made her own meals, woke up at 4 am (no exaggeration) to sweep and clean, tell my oldest daughter I sleep too long (after working 16 hrs). No problem it's all good it's my MIL now so I said nothing. Still working on her behalf begging her son to give her house key coz he refused to didnt what her to be too comfortable (his words). One evening we got home late and she was waiting outside, the first thing she said was "what ur wife is doing by not giving me the house key is not good" I was livid but could not blame her, the eye I gave my husband and walked out on them. I don't know what he told her but he begged me for a long time but still refused to give her key. MIL had a relative visit her for 2 wks from England. I and my husband didn't get the curtesy of being told we would have a visitor. I came home and was introduced to this person. Ok no problem. The end came one evening, my husband asked me to come with him to the auto store so I could sit in the car while he went in the store to buy a new battery. Asked MIL if she didn't mind watching the kids especially baby who was just about 7 months. She said ok, baby started crying as usual and we left. Went down and the car refused to start. He tried to get it to start and it wouldn't. All dis time the baby was crying when it was about 20 mins and he still couldn't get the car to start I suggested taking a taxi while I go back up to calm he child down. Our last born unfortunately has a disease and stress an trigger a crisis so I figured the car is not starting let me go up and carry d child and that is where I went wrong. Got back up said to MIL d car did not start let me carry isoken. She did not answer me, I stretched out my hand to carry baby she pushed me(not play push, a real firm push). I said ha, mummy let me calm dis child down she has been crying since she said its her child am I saying she can't carry her child? I said no ma but she has been crying stretched out my hand and attempted to take my daughter and she hit me and pushed me away. At this point I said "see dis woman oh!behave urself now" I called out to my husband while still trying to pick up d child that was still crying. He came up and I told him d issue. He puts me to the side and goes to his mother asked her to give hike the child so he can carry she refuses and gets up going off on me with all sorts of curses. In my head I am thinking this is d person I work 2 jobs to make comfortable for. Her son is by her side trying to cLm her down and get the child next thing she bends down and pulls my legs I hit my head on the hard wood floor and she was on top of me with my child in one hand and hitting me with the other. My other 2 kids by this time came out of their room so my husband is trying to shield them, yanks the baby from her before pulling her off me. I told my husband "I love you and that is the only reason I did not hit your mother back cow I will kill her but she is gone from my house today, now not tomorrow or the marriage is over. Me or your mother chose" he reminded me she had nowhere to go and I said she should have thought about that before. Then she started to cry and beg me It was d devil. She had no where to go. I told her to go the shelter, but she will not stay in my house and her son can go with her or I leave them in the house and go. I left to my room. He told her to pack her stuff, she crossed the line and she spent a wk in d shelter before finding a place to stay. She then got upset insisting I apologize to her bringing up the I am your mother, and then my husband started to tell her in the presence of the people she brought all d things she did to undermine me in my home and how she attacked me. He made it clear she owed me an apology and if I did not want her in d house he would stand by me. My stand since then with my MIL is to be cordial that's it. I owe her nothing. If I am having an event in my house she can come but no visit or sleep over. I didn't tell my parents and so when my mum was visiting she showed up to d house under the pretext of Visiting and planned to spend the night. When my husband told me I said ok and dropped d phone but d man knows me well knew I was not coming home he showed up at my job to pick me up. I was angry. We got home and he called his mom and my mom told my mom the whole story so she could understand the tension she was sensing on my part and made it clear to his mom to stop being manipulative and to leave first thing in the morning. I have always loved this man and my love and respect for him grew exponentially after that incident. He cares for his mother but does not allow that to affect his role as my husband. And that incident defined and put boundaries on my relTionship with MIL. On a side note the other 2 sons for whom she hand picked wives have both divorced, their wives could not deal with MIL interference and husbands who always deferred to her. I won't tell you what to do but will encourage you to be wise.