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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? (67223 Views)
My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? / Wife Asks Our Son To Beat Me Up Anytime We Quarrel —pastor Tells Court / Re; My Wife Fought With My Mum Following A Quarrel. My Own Opinion. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:32pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
with all these stories DILs are really sufferring in the hands of MILs. the MIL wanting to take a bath with her DIL by force wasn't even a MIL yet, op said she's her "would be MIL", the guy's just her fiance . can u imagine if she had said ok just to make her would be MIL happy , not only is this an invasion of her own privacy but if she goes ahead n marry the man the MIL would be the one running her marriage . seems the MILs' feeling of entitlement n control starts before they get married n will only get worse as long as the wife keeps allowing it babyosisi: |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Ewuro4: 9:36pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
kaboninc: Too tough sef, had to run around the block 2x everyday Mama must let it slide oh... Afterall she started the slap fest , even though we aren't told what prompted the slap, could be her ill words towards mama, we don't know. but a possibility. I mean she says mama is diabolic, that's huge. Saying that to mama's face could land her a slap for sure. I hope the DIL apologize and move on. Finito Abeg I wan call again |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by damiso(f): 9:36pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Double post |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by damiso(f): 9:36pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Double post |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by freecocoa(f): 9:43pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:I don't know what you mean by painting scenarios but don't come here talking down to me,I must not agree with you, I'm talking from what I read in the story, when people exhibit joviality, what do you think it means? How is that the same as being courteous? I asked who thinks that way? Did I call her crazy? You have the right to believe what you want to, you are making conclusions based on the story like you say, so am I. If you don't think a MIL can be a mother figure to you, don't answer this question. Will you think same of MIL due to the slap,if she was your mother? N.B,If you want to have a discourse, you follow up, don't be picking random posts of mine and making snide remarks, thanks. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by MadCow1: 9:46pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
iiichidodo: Now it's Old flea bag huh? You keep coming up with funnier lines with each response.. Thanks for the jokes kid. That said, you seem to think my placing my wife above my mother is a matter of pleasing my Wife or displeasing my mother which it isn't. It's simply the natural order of things. A Man, his wife and kids = His Family.. Your Mother, Father, siblings, uncles, village folks, friends, etc = Extended Family, acquaintances and third parties. The day my sons and daughters get married, they become independent and have started their own families, only an insecure parent would leave her home and go into her sons home to assault his wife over the photographs of her daughter in laws child. I am indeed following the traits of my father and like I have told you for the umpteenth time, I have no shame nor regrets. I sure as hell would be a bastard should I forsake the ways that has served my father and his father well and follow your fathers ways, assuming you have a father that is. You keep referring to your testicles in your responses and keep using it to equate your manhood. Well, balls are free for all men, Infact we all have two a piece so I guess as far as testicles go, all men are equal, but when it comes to measuring the attributes that makes up a Man, I doubt you would see anything about testicles on the appraisal form. If your mother knowing fully well that she is also someone else's wife (once again assuming you know your mother and that she was legally married), she would have raised you to understand that what you owe her in your old age is a duty of care and that your primary responsibility as a Married man isn't her but your wife and kids. But I guess your mother (all previously stated assumptions about her remaining the same) raised you otherwise to see your wife as second to her in your family (assuming you have one). To each his or her own indeed.. I have chosen to measure my manhood by how well I cater for and run my home, you have chosen to measure yours by the size of your testicles and I have no problems with that. Take it easy kimosabe.. 13 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by bukatyne(f): 9:53pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
freecocoa: Except you are living with the OP, I will believe his interpretation of events. He clearly said that Wife and Mama are not in good terms And this is not about my family's closeness... It is about us understanding the fact that my brother is now married and there are new rules to play by. If we doing that and maintaining peace means we are not close knit, we wear that badge with pride. Thanks 4 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by kaboninc(m): 9:55pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
crackhaus: Yes oh. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by freecocoa(f): 9:56pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
bukatyne:He didn't say they are not in good terms, he said they barely got along but they were jovial when he left. We have to agree on the definition of the phrase before we can actually recognize what they argument here, really is. You brought your family into this, I just followed your lead. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by bukatyne(f): 9:57pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: God help us Spouses must learn to place boundaries though |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by bukatyne(f): 10:02pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
freecocoa: The rule that you treat your MIL like your mom is political. It rarely plays that way in real life. Rarely is the operative word 3 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by kaboninc(m): 10:07pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Ewuro4: I pray she's not as tough as you! Am a peace loving, gentle and quite guy who loves no disturbances. Lol Yes oh, I hope they genuinely reconcile. My parents would never want us have anything to do with my paternal home. My dad says, if not for God, them for don kill us finish. So when someone refuses her MIL the pictures of her kids, I'm sure something must be wrong somewhere. Oya, go call again! |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by iiichidodo: 10:21pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
MadCow1:You don't expect us to read this nonsensical empty chest beating,do you,boy?..goes to show the small size of your penice.Shoot! if it wasnt for providence you'd be wearing pigtails jes to please your skank.Buck up son,you heard us? To each his own let the OP handle his biz like a man. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by freecocoa(f): 10:28pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
bukatyne:It does play, it does in my family and we have a DIL no one, I sincerely mean no one in my family and friends circle speak good about, we have another that is loved by all. I don't have to type stories but believe me, there are bad DILS, what we concluded in my house is that, this girl won't bring enmity into our family, her MIL tolerates her, we agreed to tolerate her to an extent and carry her along for the sake of our brother. Now my aunt(her MIL) will rush for pictures just like the MIL in this story, if she ever goes to her son's house, I'm guessing the wife of my cousin,may refuse, believe me when I say, my aunt will rather die there than ignore the fact that her DIL thinks she could harm her grandkids. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Dheartless: 11:09pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
your wife shouldn't have made an issue out of your mom wanting your pictures of your child. i mean how would she feel if she comes back and meet you pounding her dad over the fact that he wanted pictures of her child or you slap her mom back for that kind of silly reason? let's be real, she would have left your house in anger. your wife should apologise if i was in your wife's shoes, as a man i would have not disrespected myself by fighting my FIL over the fact that he wanted pictures of my child, all I have to do is inform my wife about the issue and tell her how I feel, then she will politely pass the message to her dad. that is what she should have done. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Dheartless: 11:16pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Amybijou:will you take your advice if your husband beat up your dad for this same reason? |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by buggaboo: 11:29pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
This excessive respect for elders is killing this country. Respect beget respect. The main reason why we are supposed to respect our elders is because they are supposed to look out for us first. If an elder consistently displays selfish behaviour, you have every right to put them in their place. Between the mum and the wife, the OP should know who the lunatic is and then deal with the person accordingly. Although the purest form of love I have seen is between mum and child, some mums just dont have the capacity. If you love someone you are supposed to wish them happiness no matter what and not disrupt their family. 4 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Raymie(m): 11:35pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
iiichidodo:Now, this is just plain wrong. Instead of countering @MadCow's argument with superior points, all yhu do is measure balls and d1cks and denigerate his family. I hope yhu're not married because if yhu really act this way in real life, even yhur mum should be wary of yhu, leave all the NL show of love. That @MadCow has his priorities does not mean he loves his mother any less than yhu do yhurs. I align with his argument and I'm a confirmed mummy's boi. Funnily enough, I showed her this post this evening. She reasons alongside @MadCow's assertion. She even said that if the man dares drive his wife on account of this issue for a day, that he has lost control of his home forever, his mother may as well move in and take over headship of the home. As I mentioned to @Freecocoa, let's remove the hierachy and family ties and treat this case as between two feuding women. Judge it from that angle and advise OP therefrom. 7 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Raymie(m): 11:38pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Dheartless:if it did happen, her dad deserves it. You do not come to my turf to fight me. Anything yhu see, yhu take. QED. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by iiichidodo: 11:53pm On Mar 28, 2015 |
Raymie:We are not here to parley with a wuss who is 'out to get us' out of persistent goadings and @sslickings from her (you read us right) fellow ladies...try trace our backforths to observe where the knives came out and see who set them out first.Any who,you should read back previous pages to see what we posited.....in a nutshell,the man should strong-arm each of them as to what they both stand to lose if they keep this going anylonger.Instead of clapping the wife for a job well done battering his mum...see? BOTH were wrong and BOTH needs to be taught lessons although in varying degrees such as the wife going on temporary separation and the mother getting a stern warning with a subtle threat or bluff she might get cut off completely....Forget that diseased animal's mowings, he's just a henpecked flea bag,shoot!, if he was in the OP's shoes, he'd hold his wife's gait steady while she pummels his mum into coma... |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 12:13am On Mar 29, 2015 |
iiichidodo:So, essentially, you believe a man who chooses to take a wife and stand by her in a situation such as this has a lesser pen/s than the one who will follow mama and agree to drop his wife without acting upon any independent opinion he may have on the subject that may not be to mama's taste? Why would a man need a big pen/s if he wanted his mother to unconditionally have it? ...I mean, yeah thanks mum for creating me and my vag but it does belong to my husband, that much I'm sure of, but I'm grateful still 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by iiichidodo: 12:28am On Mar 29, 2015 |
Flytefalls:Trying to put words in our mouths,are we lassie? Let us re-iterate that the OP should give both parties a time out-mum gets the 'hair dry treatment' and a cut off threat while wife takes a break from her matrimonial home-This allows both parties get an independent visceral feeling what they might get to lose with this stand off hanging about and look actively towards ending this mutually and amicably.We don't see any woman wrapping or mums boy here,all we see is a man taking control of his family's destiny and not suckin up to no woman with his fleabag pigtails. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 12:42am On Mar 29, 2015 |
Mr op, sorry for your predicament, this is indeed a situation, no man wishes to find himself …. settling a fight btw ur wife and ur mum. To settle this matter, you need to be objective and must not cloud your sense of judgment with emotional threats and blackmail from either party..(mum or wife) -1st, ur mum slapped ur wife. (ur mum goofed) -2nd ur wife retaliated, hence the fight (she goofed as well) . Your wife has to apologize to ur mum. then u have to point it out to ur mum that she messed up as well, by hitting ur wife(not in ur wife’s presence though)…asking her if her (ur mum) MIL ever slapped her? Mr op, its ur family that’s in danger of disintegrating at the moment, so you have to man up and protect ur wife. Except you are of the school of thoughts that will choose ur mum over ur immediate family. (NB ur wife is urs, while ur mum is ur dads[i][/i]). Goodluck! 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by jplay(m): 12:59am On Mar 29, 2015 |
BigBang666:Both should apologize to each other. The mother should apologize like the wife. Telling the wife to be the only one to apologize is promoting partiality. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by cococandy(f): 1:07am On Mar 29, 2015 |
Why on earth are you being rude? iiichidodo: 3 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:13am On Mar 29, 2015 |
iiichidodo: What they might lose? Haha! If you believe your remedy is better than Madcow's, then I must protest. A married man cannot afford to think like just any man, not if he wants peace in his home. Your solution solves nothing, don't expect to have a happy marriage if you do not care to consider your wife's (or mother's) happiness by sucking in your pride and delving deeper into the issues. In this case, the mother had no right to slap another woman in her own house for her own belongings; use your discernment, this was wrong. Both should be told of what you perceived to be their errors, but you'd be wrong to send your wife away from her home due to the actions initiated by your mother (who will comfortably return to her home). That is not justice and it will only beget resentment, and wifey'd wish she punched, not scratched! Trust me, ain't no one looking to be friends after that 4 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:17am On Mar 29, 2015 |
jplay: I intentionally left that out,... Mr Op can not force his mum to apologize,..but his manner of approach cud make his mum realize that, her approach wasnt really the best, and slapping her DIL proofs nothing. but the wife has to apologize (nothing to do with partiality)...it is the right thing to do. execpt its normal for the wife to slap/retaliate a slap from her own mother. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by cococandy(f): 1:21am On Mar 29, 2015 |
Single guys feel like hey are blessed while single ladies are cursed. Twisted minds. Sophyrocks: 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Idowuogbo(f): 2:15am On Mar 29, 2015 |
justwise:Lmao! Na wa ooo |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by cococandy(f): 2:19am On Mar 29, 2015 |
Askseek: |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Idowuogbo(f): 2:19am On Mar 29, 2015 |
Persin go slap me in my own HOUSE?! Ayayaya!!! I comment my reserve 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 3:48am On Mar 29, 2015 |
A woman was just sitting in her husbands house watching African magic and rocking her infant son to sleep one bright day The door bell rings Her husband rushes to the door and behold his mom,aunt and mom's friend had arrived Wife puts junior down in the day bed and says Ekaaro ma one by one curtsying as usual. They sit down Mama how are you doing she asked With a sinister look on her face mama says fine,how are my children? They are fine mama, she responds she calls her two year old daughter playing with toys at the corner,titi ,titilayo come and greet mama Like a good wife she proceeds to the kitchen and brings out three bottles of coke and a bottle of big stout for mama Plus a saucer full of biscuits and chin chin They start munching away Wife starts chit chatting happily with everyone and husband decides to leave them and go get an oil change As they are munching the chin chin,wife gives them photo album of baby 's naming ceremony They are flipping and looking,all of a sudden mama starts yanking off some pictures from the album and placing on her laps Wife says mama what are you doing? Mama responds,what do you think I am doing,are you blind?I want these pictures eediot,Ori odaa,oloriburuku,omo jat jati,how dare you ask me foolish questions,I know your mother didn't train you well,thunder fire that your mouth. The girl picks up her phone to tell her husband that mama has started again The mother says shu oooo mrs reporter are you done? You are calling Kunle abi,to come and beat me up or what She turns to the other women with her " isn't it what I told you people,look at the useless persin Kunle married as wife",Chei,why did my God punish me like this ,my Kunle ah,olorun mi,my own is finished o ,see the mad woman he brought for me Wife says mama please stop nau,stop doing... Mama swings around like tiger,stop what? If you don't shut up that your mouth I will shut it for you finally Before she could say another word,next thing Tawai tawai two hot slaps Wife hold her face Tawai,a third slap has landed 3 Likes |
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