Jobos:


I am waiting for the day women will began to pay groom price, this subject will not be an issue. Don't turn culture upside down cos of education. It will only increase the number of unmarried women.

#deep

Jobos:


I am waiting for the day women will began to pay groom price, this subject will not be an issue. Don't turn culture upside down cos of education. It will only increase the number of unmarried women.

I am AGAINST bride price and think it is stupid. No need to pay someone to take their hands in marriage if it wasn't an issue then so many men wouldn't be bishing about it!

Chiam55:


I think the children will carry their father's name not the wife.

The guys are coming for ur head, plz be on the lookout dear

netizenbuzz:


Y must u always compare urself to the white man? Wat kind of slave mentality is this? There was nothing like surname in our culture b4 sef, so y r u giving urself unnecessary headache?

e ma binu oo

Chiam55:


Naaaaah I can't do that.... I want a prenuptial agreement everybody keeps what they came in with

That's modern day slavery ( marriage)

Some one might be ready to marry u though ....

mmsen:


Now you are lying - I didn't add or alter anything.

Either you cannot read or you did not read it properly.

What I wrote was very clear and very concise. It's not a difficult concept, like I said, your reading comprehension might not be up to scratch.

You used the word 'choice' and I used the word 'may' but you simply repeated what I said whilst claiming to say something different.

Just accept that you were in a rush to argue a non-existent point.

You did add to your original post and it's not that serious. I won't change my response to your original statement.

yorubaboiy:

iwo na gbo nkan to jade lenu e.......awon oyinbo gan,kosi bi baba won shey fe lowo to oruko oko ni won je....bawo wa ni ti yin se je ma.....

Y must u always compare urself to the white man? Wat kind of slave mentality is this? There was nothing like surname in our culture b4 sef, so y r u giving urself unnecessary headache?

Gaidenk:

Madam keep quiet,you a known notorious feminist and would support a perversion of all that traditionally keeps the male as head,your opinion shouldn't be relevant to any true culturally upholding person.

Head? Do you even know what it means to be the head of a home? Me thinks not. You think it's all about bringing in the cash and being waited upon tooth and nail? Or you think it's about your wife bearing your name or always having the last say? Me thinks not. Can you stay up through the night just to pray for your family? Can you starve just for your family to eat? (most men I know are served their food first before even worrying about the kids). Will you willing lose your life before you allow any member of your family drop a pint of blood? Most men today want the tilte of being the head of the home without the responsibility that comes with it. When the responsibilty comes, they push it to wife. She's a woman anyway, it's her duty to keep the home. See how Jesus lead the church and see all the sacrifices that came with it then search yourself again if you actually deserve to be called the head of your home.
My dear feminist or not, if you think surname=being the head, then I honestly don't know of you o.

MrsChima:


If you leave the village maybe you will see it is not a new trend. Secondly, I don't worry about what other people do....I don't run their life. Try it.

This is reality of life..Why do you think the husband always want a male child? That's because the male child always carry the father's name while the female don't...I have said it b4 and will say it again, most ladies doing this always have issues with their marriage.

MrsChima:


I don't run people's relationships and don't want people to run mine. I don't care if women want their men to be alpha males...I don't care. What I am concern with is misogynistic bulls hit spewed on this thread and many others. Why do YOU and other people worry about others relationships and how they like to live it?

Why are Africans so judgemental but yet preaches the bible every chance they gets not knowing judging someone is a sin!

Every relationship isn't the same and what YOU LIKE doesn't have anything to do with the next couple. People should focus on their own relationship if they have one!

Honey im not being judgmental im just saying it how it is
i dont give a damn abt anyone's relationship, im simply stating u facts
just telling u its as natural as it is, not societal
at the same time i do believe every relationship has a uniqueness, im anti-cliche, i like it when people find themselves and build something original
so if it makes u feel any beta, make it work for u
in the end, nobody really changes, we can only become a beta version of ourselves so why will anyone fuccken judge

I will be back to comment when i marry

Justfollowit:


That sounds better however I think I would rather do both. I like having options. , I enjoy being in control.

Pardon me but i don't seem to understand what you meant by being in control?

Beface:

The bible is talking about the significant of women changing their surname's to the husband's name. Am not talking about quality of life here rather am talking about WHAT OUGHT TO BE DONE. Talking about women's right is retaining your father's name part of it?

Thank u jare, and don't mind mrsChima, if she is truly married.. women then were willing to bear their husband's name once they get married and marriage then was far far better..but since the coming of gender equality and femism, divorce has taken over the land.

Dragonking:


Thank u jare, and don't mind mrsChima, if she is truly married.. women then were willing to bear their husband's name once they get married and marriage then was far far better..but since the coming of gender equality and femism, divorce has taken over the land.

LMAO. I know you would love to know if I am truly married or not...try minding your business.

Secondly....if feminism is the reason why divorce is rampant then why are dumb as men talking about they divorced their wives because of cheating etc?

You blame cheating on feminism too? Foolishness!

That's why you have 'Nee' smh.

boynigeria:

Honey im not being judgmental im just saying it how it is
i dont give a damn abt anyone's relationship, im simply stating u facts
just telling u its as natural as it is, not societal
at the same time i do believe every relationship has a uniqueness, im anti-cliche, i like it when people find themselves and build something original
so if it makes u feel any beta, make it work for u
in the end, nobody really changes, we can only become a beta version of ourselves so why will anyone fuccken judge

Yes...why would anyone judge is the question of the century but Africans (non-Africans) do!

Beface:

Pardon me but i don't seem to understand what you meant by being in control?

I like being control of the outcome, so that it won't come as a surprise when either happens. I find it easier to move on that way.

Dragonking:


This is reality of life..Why do you think the husband always want a male child? That's because the male child always carry the father's name while the female don't...I have said it b4 and will say it again, most ladies doing this always have issues with their marriage.

What does a child have to do with the woman I know plenty of women with hyphenated names and their children has the father's name.

I don't see what is the issue here. If you think a married woman with a maiden name is a sign of troubled marriage...please don't get married and if you are...divorce the vixtim!

Foolishness!

MrsChima:


I am a woman who don't conform to the mass idea of how one's should live their life because society say so.

I am a feminist of gender equality. Most females have their father 's name and if feminism has to do with surname..we will be advocating for women NOT to take their father's surname which is NOT the case.

My stance is women do not have to take their husband's surname if they don't want to and taking surname doesn't prove ANYTHING.

They are no longer two but one. Little things are little things, but they are the foundation on which d bigger picture leans.

truthalways:
I recently noticed that our newly wedded ladies are retaining their fathers name after marriage. You hear names like Bisi Johnson-Adekunle, Evangeline Ojukwu-Chukwuma or Halima Haruna-Ciroma. Guys can you allow this and ladies why are you doing this?

Y call it craze. Na him papa born me or he wan nmake my own origin erase?. I'd so gladly retain surname rather than take my husbands. There r cultures around the world dat practise that and the notion of changing to one's husbands family name is an english one copied by the rest of us.

Not in my house...

Apina:

They are no longer two but one. Little things are little things, but they are the foundation on which d bigger picture leans.

If you read my other posts I have spoken about man and wife becoming one. It has nothing to do with surname though.

MrsChima:


Yes...why would anyone judge is the question of the century but Africans (non-Africans) do!

yea, its all around the globe, its what people do to feel beta about themselves even when they are worse
i like ur reasoning, ure intellectual, smartest person ive spoken to on nairaland and ive spoke to so many people here

Dragonking:


Thank u jare, and don't mind mrsChima, if she is truly married.. women then were willing to bear their husband's name once they get married and marriage then was far far better..but since the coming of gender equality and femism, divorce has taken over the land.

My friend you have said it all.

I told my wife voluntarily to include her father's name in her name after our wedding.

boynigeria:

yea, its all around the globe, its what people do to feel beta about themselves even when they are worse
i like ur reasoning, ure intellectual, smartest person ive spoken to on nairaland and ive spoke to so many people here

Thanks dear! Let me go kick this manbish down on Romance section!

MrsChima:


Thanks dear! Let me go kick this manbish down on Romance section!

lol uwc

[b] I see nothing wrong with that. It should be a mutual agreement between a man and his wife. People should learn to mind their business and not try to meddle into other people's affair with their shallow and bad complex.
Besides, we take on our father's name because we are our father's children, i don't see a husband becoming his wife's father after they get married. A child bears it's father's name not because it is "under" the father, but because it needs to be "identified". A child's father's name should not die or be forgotten simply because she is a girl-child.
Again, it's high time these shallow minded individuals on nairaland stopped calling women who frown on their inferiority complex feminists. I've read this thread from the first to the last page and i noticed that a significant amount of males see nothing wrong with a woman retaining her father's name after marriage. Do you call them feminists too? .
Finally, there is nothing wrong with that, it all boils down to understanding between couples, and it does not make a husband any less of a man if his wife wishes to keep her father's name. [/b]

Justfollowit:


I like being control of the outcome, so that it won't come as a surprise when either happens. I find it easier to move on that way.

In as much as i agreed with you,we just have to face the fact there are some things we have no control over. That is where the expectancy theory come into play.

MrsChima:


Just because you give her a ring and say I do doesn't mean she has to take your surname upon marriage. There is no law in it both land and scriptural.

Go and sit your butt down hypocrite and you had no other thought than to create MrsChima? Get your egoistical self outta here.

Hollamydey:
B4 nko, am still d daughter of my father. Besides am married 2 my husband nd nt sold 2 him [s]so I still have d right 2 maintain by father's name nd dat of his,[/s] ko fa ija rara.....#my opinion

soro niyen

Therefore for this reason a woman shall leave her parents house and live with her hubby as one not two...women retaining their parents name after marriage is absolute rubbish, let her ask if her mummy did so to her daddy..if this tarry on then there won't be an estimated value between men and women...guys let's protest aganist this nonsense

irunoko:
See dictator general aka I am the man of the house. Omo I no envy your wife 1 bit

You didn't need to envy her. People around do envy and respect us. Read what I said, When it comes to basic like this the is no point dragging it. She knows the tradition of marriage before she marries me. I am not acting movie in the house. She has her freedom and she does want she wants in the house, that doesn't mean she will take the place of dictating what happens in OUR home. Its a decision we both make. Like I said her mother didn't keep her name so why should she? And I will not support or subject my daughter in retaining my name. Wtf If my daughter is getting married she will answer her husband name and not my. You didn't know me and you shouldn't call me names. I said my opinion and I am not married to you.