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Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian - Islam for Muslims (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 10:32pm On May 23, 2015
truthman2012:


Satan is visible and touchable? A capital lie!

When last did you see him?

How does he look like?

Why are you silent on the other hadiths:

Water not polluted by dirts.

Silver vessels, a hell in the stomach.




lolsssss. when he was created was it in spirit..... was it the spirit that carried JESUS to the bill.... lolsss

the second hadith has a better explanation..... but it will be useful for Muslims alone...... cos we call something as QAIDDAH USUULIYAH that's the fundamental bases for all water is that it's PURE.
hope you get that?

for the Silva..... that HADITH made it impermissible to use it at all for utensils. but can be wear by male as RING only not other adornment.
females can also wear anything as adornment but only for his husband.
.


how they're well cleared off now
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by mustymatic(m): 10:33pm On May 23, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
Wad a fvcking god named allahh I fart on allahhz face I spit on muhamMADz grave
U get sense so?
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Nobody: 10:36pm On May 23, 2015
mustymatic:

U get sense so?
U nid a chilled bottle of "carmel" pizz as prescribed by muhamMAD

2 Likes

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by mustymatic(m): 10:43pm On May 23, 2015
truthman2012:


What is your explanation to the hadiths na?

None of you has said anything on the hadiths, except one who said satan is visible and tangible. Lie as usual.
Open your mind bro, there's nothing wrong with the ahadiths, only wisdom whic u lack.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by mustymatic(m): 10:44pm On May 23, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
U nid a chilled bottle of "carmel" pizz as prescribed by muhamMAD
dis mumu guy dnt kni a thing abt Christianity, only spitting rubbish.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Nobody: 10:50pm On May 23, 2015
mustymatic:

dis mumu guy dnt kni a thing abt Christianity, only spitting rubbish.

Ogbenni, I see d truth and I spit it out
MuhamMAD was a bandit cum r a p I s t
I don't regret saying it

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 11:27pm On May 23, 2015
truthman2012:


Satan is visible and touchable? A capital lie!

When last did you see him?

How does he look like?

Why are you silent on the other hadiths:

Water not polluted by dirts.

Silver vessels, a hell in the stomach.



lolsssss. when he was created was it in spirit..... was it the spirit that carried JESUS to the bill.... lolsss

the second hadith has a better explanation..... but it will be useful for Muslims alone...... cos we call something as QAIDDAH USUULIYAH that's the fundamental bases for all water is that it's PURE.
hope you get that?

for the Silva..... that HADITH made it impermissible to use it at all for utensils. but can be wear by male as RING only not other adornment.
females can also wear anything as adornment but only for his husband.
.


how they're well cleared off now
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 7:16am On May 24, 2015
mustymatic:
U R The greatest mumu of all time smiley u don't hav an ounce of sense of humour
Look at a defence from islam apologist! Smh!

2 Likes

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by true2god: 7:30am On May 24, 2015
Empiree:
So you still shopping around looking for ahadith that your brain can't decipher. Islam is giving you sleepless night. I guess Islam is knocking you off and humiliating your Christian faith so bad.

You too long here man. Your next phase is to come to Islam now. You can quote ahadith all you want. You don't speak Arabic. You are exhausted already. That alone puts you in chokehold.
You are talking rubish, I was expecting you to deny the hadith, as usual, as being fabricated.

Your prophet is a commedian, more funny than Basket Mouth (a nigerian comedian).
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by mustymatic(m): 7:30am On May 24, 2015
truthman2012:

Look at a defence from islam apologist! Smh!
More of a description
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by true2god: 7:47am On May 24, 2015
truthman2012:


Oh yes! So many things are wrong with the hadiths and in fact am surprised you couldn't see anything wrong. No wonder you have been saying what you have been saying.

Satan is a spirit-being not visible to man, including prophets. He cannot be physically held and tied to a pillar for people to see. That shows he was only hallucinating and ditto for many of his statements.

In what science is it said that water cannot be polluted by throwing dirty things into it, moreso a well that is not flowing? Polluted water causes most of the known deseases, how could Muhammad say water is pure and not defiled by anything? Even the old illiterate people in harmlets and villages know water is impure when dirty things are thrown into it. Don't you know that yourself?

Muhammad expected them to use dirty and stinking water for ablution, which included putting some of it into their mouth.

Finally, what is wrong in using silver vessels in drinking or eating? Many of the utensils we use today are silver. Who has ever experieced hell in their stomach?

How reasonable therefore is it to follow the spiritual and medical prescriptions of such a person?

How can you be sure Muhammad received any revelation from the true God, who could not have inspired him to say such nonsense?
Muslims' blind allegiance to a mad prophet is appalling. The problem is that most of them, from early childhood, had been mind-programmed and brainwashed to see mohammed as a perfect man who did (and cannot) no wrong. So in their subconcious mind, mohammed is an ok person. But to a non-muslim, be it christians, Jews, hindus, shintos, or even atheist, who have the opportunity to read and learn about mohammed, he (mohammed) is bad person with a psychological problem.

So it is important to understand the muslims' mind-set on mohammed. It takes strengh and courage for an indoctrinated muslim to accept the fact that mohammed is an evil man with a psychological disorder.

How did mohammed intend to arrest the devil and hang him on a wall?

2 Likes

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 7:50am On May 24, 2015
smallrincowis16:




lolsssss. when he was created was it in spirit..... was it the spirit that carried JESUS to the bill.... lolsss

the second hadith has a better explanation..... but it will be useful for Muslims alone...... cos we call something as QAIDDAH USUULIYAH that's the fundamental bases for all water is that it's PURE.
hope you get that?

for the Silva..... that HADITH made it impermissible to use it at all for utensils. but can be wear by male as RING only not other adornment.
females can also wear anything as adornment but only for his husband.

how they're well cleared off now

To you, Satan is no more a spirit, he now lives physically as a man that you can handle and tie up to your mosque pillar? Good of you. Telling lies mean nothing to muslims as the quran itself is lies.

So all water is pure to muslims even if menses, dungs etc are thrown into it. The first thing allahh does to his believers is tamper with their brain so as to make them abnormal human beings. No normal human being will say water is still pure after dirts have thrown into it and has become stinking.

Silver is good when you wear it as ring in your hand and no hell in your fingers. It is good as a necklace on your neck and no hellish feeling in your neck but if you drink water from it, the water turns to hellfire in your stomach. Serious. What a rational occurence. This is applicable only in islamic science, a science that operates against rational reactions and behaviours.

I use silver utensils daily and I don't feel hell in my stomach, making allah, Muhammad and all of you blatant liars.

I am yet to see a muslim that reasons rationally even if he is a professor, when it comes to religious issues. It is unfortunate that wester education is not enough to detect the lies of satan.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by true2god: 7:53am On May 24, 2015
mustymatic:

U R The greatest mumu of all time smiley
u don't hav an ounce of sense of humour
Stop defending your prophet's stupidityy. If what the op had written is fake, fabricated or non-authentic hadith, you can refute that using a counter-hadith or even quran.

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Nobody: 8:04am On May 24, 2015
smallrincowis16:
2)

christians do claim that Jesus of the Bible was
the only SINLESS PERSON hence being the
perfect sacrifice for the remission of sins of
mankind..
But unfortunately, we have some biblical figures
whom the Bible never recorded their sins e.g
ENOCH, ABEL, MARY..
for the benefit of doubt, I will (from a Christian
perspective) believe that these figures were
sinners because they were given birth to by male
and female having knowledge of each other
because Christianity teaches we are automatic
sinners by birth...
Unfortunately, melchizedek was Sinless according
to the Bible and he had no mother and had no
father, making him different from Jesus who came
out from under a woman .
If melchizedek might have been a sinner because
the Bible couldn't record everything, how then can
we be sure Jesus didn't sin since the Bible didn't
record anything about him from age 12-30
Moreover the baptism of John the Baptist was for
repentance and we read..
Mark 1:4-5 John did baptize in the wilderness,
and preach the baptism of repentance for the
remission of sins... And there went out unto him
all the land of Judaea, and they of Jerusalem, and
were all baptized of him in the river of Jordan,
confessing their sins....
Matthew 3:13 Then Jesus came from Galilee to
the Jordan to be baptized by John......
Didn't this proof Jesus to be a sinner?
Why should he be baptized before he started his
ministry?

You obviously haven't study the bible or christian doctrines to the fullest..

•Jesus was the only one conceived without "original sin" including his vessel(Mary)(the immaculate conception) according to the christian belief and the Catholic church(whose doctrines have the most verisimilitude and authenticity anyway )

•He only accepted to be baptised to fulfil all righteousness and as a sign of humility as recorded in the gospels.

It was irrelevant to put Jesus' life as a child into writing.
His ministry began at 30 which is the most important, or do you want them to start writing about how he used the bathroom,or how he played with his friend's after helping Joseph in the workshop..

I don't believe in the Christian ••• but sincerely its realer than Islam.
Islam is just so fake and built on •••••

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by danbrowndmf(m): 9:02am On May 24, 2015
Darkrebel666:


You obviously haven't study the bible or christian doctrines to the fullest..

•Jesus was the only one conceived without "original sin" including his vessel(Mary)(the immaculate conception) according to the christian belief and the Catholic church(whose doctrines have the most verisimilitude and authenticity anyway )

•He only accepted to be baptised to fulfil all righteousness and as a sign of humility as recorded in the gospels.

It was irrelevant to put Jesus' life as a child into writing.
His ministry began at 30 which is the most important, or do you want them to start writing about how he used the bathroom,or how he played with his friend's after helping Joseph in the workshop..

I don't believe in the Christian ••• but sincerely its realer than Islam.
Islam is just so fake and built on •••••

But your parents are christian right?
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Nobody: 9:58am On May 24, 2015
danbrowndmf:
But your parents are christian right?


Yes...but not fanatics..

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 11:36am On May 24, 2015
truthman2012:


To you, Satan is no more a spirit, he now lives physically as a man that you can handle and tie up to your mosque pillar? Good of you. Telling lies mean nothing to muslims as the quran itself is lies.

So all water is pure to muslims even if menses, dungs etc are thrown into it. The first thing allahh does to his believers is tamper with their brain so as to make them abnormal human beings. No normal human being will say water is still pure after dirts have thrown into it and has become stinking.

Silver is good when you wear it as ring in your hand and no hell in your fingers. It is good as a necklace on your neck and no hellish feeling in your neck but if you drink water from it, the water turns to hellfire in your stomach. Serious. What a rational occurence. This is applicable only in islamic science, a science that operates against rational reactions and behaviours.

I use silver utensils daily and I don't feel hell in my stomach, making allah, Muhammad and all of you blatant liars.

I am yet to see a muslim that reasons rationally even if he is a professor, when it comes to religious issues. It is unfortunate that wester education is not enough to detect the lies of satan.

I can see how deluded you're... that was why I hesitated.
just answer this question.

was Jesus carried by Satan spirit to the hill?
and was Jesus speaking with Satan spirit?


lolsss
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 11:41am On May 24, 2015
smallrincowis16:

I can see how deluded you're... that was why I hesitated. just answer this question.
was Jesus carried by Satan spirit to the hill? and was Jesus speaking with Satan spirit?

lolsss
Trash!

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 4:28pm On May 24, 2015
truthman2012:

Trash!


answer the question plsssss lolssssssss
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 4:28pm On May 24, 2015
truthman2012:

Trash!


answer the question plsssss lolssssssss

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Anas09: 5:00pm On May 24, 2015
APostle Truthman. When you are talking to this people try to understand their perspective. Mohammed plagiarised the Bible. But you know. He was a bad copier, and his companions then were scared to correct him, so he went on to copy the Bible without knowing that behind the words, is the holy spirit, so was not careful to get certain concpets right. When mohammed read that Satan took Jesus to the highest mountain and showed him the whole world, the guy thought Jesus was saying satan was flesh and blood. Mohammed thought it was a physical event. So he also came up with an episode of him and satan. Since satan tempted Jesus, Mohammed wants to prove that he is stronger than Jesus, so instead of being tempted he tied satan up on a pillar. Wonderful.
The muslim folk don't believe so don't know the operations of the Holy Spirit. If allah is not satan, allah would know how the holy spirit operates. Unfortunately he(allah) doesn't. The Isa of the koran was only human, no spirit in him, so wen mohammed read that Jesus spoke with satan, he just assumed it was like me and u talking. Evn me here talking. Satan speaks to me, just jesus also speaks to me. Theses entities are spirits, I don't see them, but how do I interact with them? Its through my own spirit. I am primarily a spirit being, having a soul but dwelling in this house called the body.
Excuse me Mr Muslim. The discussion satan had with Jesus was not physical, it was in the spirit. Do u even know that the spirit realm rules over the physical? And spirits see everything? They are not limited by time, space, and distance. So they are everywhere at the same time. But Muhammed won't know that, why would he? He was coping eveything without cross checking errors.
When someone catches him in his lies, he will blot out "The Bible is corrupt". Ole.

5 Likes

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 5:32pm On May 24, 2015
@ Anas09

Thank you.

Muhammad and muslims are carnal people, who don't and cannot understand the bible. Nobody can understand God except by the Holy Spirit.

You are right. Jesus didn't see satan physically (Mat. 4:1). He was led by the spirit to the wilderness.

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by malvisguy212: 6:37pm On May 24, 2015
smallrincowis16:

I can see how deluded you're... that was why I hesitated. just answer this question.
was Jesus carried by Satan spirit to the hill? and was Jesus speaking with Satan spirit?

lolsss
let me get this straight, are you saying satan is not a spirit?
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by mustymatic(m): 11:23pm On May 24, 2015
true2god:
Stop defending your prophet's stupidityy. If what the op had written is fake, fabricated or non-authentic hadith, you can refute that using a counter-hadith or even quran.
Who says there's anything wrong with the hadiths?
Common sense is not common.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 11:56pm On May 24, 2015
malvisguy212:
let me get this straight, are you saying satan is not a spirit?



he is both.... even other JINN
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by malvisguy212: 8:24am On May 25, 2015
smallrincowis16:




he is both.... even other JINN
trash, satan is 100 percent spirit and if satan should have a flesh, then he will have to possessed somebody.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 2:15pm On May 25, 2015
mustymatic:

Who says there's anything wrong with the hadiths?
Common sense is not common.

To you, nothing is wrong when Muhammad said well water into which menses and dead dogs are thrown, stinking is pure. Where do you put your common sense?
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by basilico: 2:46pm On May 25, 2015




Print This Article
MOHAMMAD AND AYESHA

By Ayesha Ahmed

Mrs. Abu Bakr: Abu ,I don’t like that weirdo friend of yours coming here daily.

Abu Bakr: Why?

Mrs Abu Bakr: I don’t like the way he looks at little Ayesha.

Abu Bakr: Crazy woman, he is her grandfather’s age, he loves children, that’s all.

Mrs Abu bakr: I don’t know if he loves children or just wants to make love to children.

AbuBakr:What nonsense are you saying. For God’s sake he has Quran in his chest.

Mrs AbuBakr: Quran is in his chest, not between his legs. Anyways I don’t want him to come near my little daughter. He gives lice to her  every time he hugs her. Even his beard has lice.

Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 87, Number 130:

Allah's Apostle used to visit Um Haram bint Milhan she was the wife of 'Ubada bin As-Samit. One day the Prophet visited her and she provided him with food and started looking for lice in his head.

Abu Dawood Book 19, Number 3074:

She was picking lice from the head of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) while the wife of Uthman ibn Affan and the immigrant women were with him.

AbuBkr: Woman you should not talk about prophet of Allah like that. He is the greatest man who ever lived.

Mrs Abu Bakr: If he is so great why does he swim with the dead dogs in the pond which has garbage and menstrual blood?

AbuBakr: What are you talking about?

Mrs AbuBakr: Yesterday I went to throw garbage in the Budaah well; he was jumping up and down and enjoying himself in the filthy stinky water. I asked him what he was doing in the dirty water. He said this water is clean. I said how that water can be clean with so many dead dogs, rags of menstrual blood and garbage in it. He said nothing makes water dirty. He then drank some water, performed wudu and left to lead Maghreb prayer. No wonder he stinks so bad.

Abu Dawood ,Book 1, Number 0066:

Narrated AbuSa'id al-Khudri:

The people asked the Messenger of Allah (peace_be_upon_him): Can we perform ablution out of the well of Buda'ah, which is a well into which menstrual clothes, dead dogs and stinking things were thrown? He replied: Water is pure and is not defiled by anything.

Abu Dawood,Book 1, Number 0067:

Narrated AbuSa'id al-Khudri:

I heard that the people asked the Prophet of Allah (peace_be_upon_him): Water is brought for you from the well of Buda'ah. It is a well in which dead dogs, menstrual clothes and excrement of people are thrown. The Messenger of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) replied: Verily water is pure and is not defiled by anything.

Tafsir Qurtubi, chapter vol 13, page 51

Prophet drank dirty water from Budaah well and performed wudu with it.

(For other references to Prophet’s(PBUH) bathing, drinking and making wudu with the water from Budaah well with dead dogs, garbage and menstrual blood listen to the last part of the following debate between a muslim scholar and a Christian Arab)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7162436352561262986&hl=en

AbuBakr: Woman, don’t you understand, you witnessed Allah’s miracle .If I and you drink the Budaah well water, we  will be sick and may even die. But nothing happens to Mohammed. Doesn’t that prove that he is Allah’s prophet?

Mrs Abu Bakr: No, that proves that he is a nut case and we should not allow him near our daughter.Â

AbuBakr: Too late for that. Today he asked me for her hand and I accepted.

MrsAbuBakr: You crazy old man, why didn’t you say no. Mohammed is not only crazy, he is her grandfather’s age.

AbuBakr: I did but he said these are Allah’s orders and he is helpless in that matter. I had to agree, I don’t want to make Allah angry and end up in hellfire.

Mrs AbuBakr: Can you at least put a marriage condition not to come near Ayesha after he bathes or make wudu in Budaah water?.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Ifeann(f): 4:35pm On May 25, 2015
Demmzy15:
Truthman2012 is humiliated once again! grin grin

What is this one talking about. Truthman has floored u Muslims with these simple questions. None of u Muslims have attempted to answer it. Empiree even alluded to the issue being a translation thing by insinuating the op converts to Islam and learn Arabic.
What nonsense. Simple translation and its only Arabic that can't be translated because the English exposes mohammed as a fraud.

following mohammeds teachings will kill. How can he say nothing corrupts water. Disgusting fellow. I wonder how many Muslims have died paying attention to that advice.

Truthman2012 exposing mohammed as usual and u Muslims can't even make a decent argument.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 6:17pm On May 25, 2015
malvisguy212:
trash, satan is 100 percent spirit and if satan should have a flesh, then he will have to possessed somebody.



that's where the pro of Christian is.
they have there own world
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Empiree: 7:55pm On May 25, 2015
author=Ifeann post=34084119]What is this one talking about. Truthman has floored u Muslims with these simple questions.
We are absolutely under no obligation to answer his questions on the condition that he never acknowledged sincere answers from us. He copied that silly mentality from you.

None of u Muslims have attempted to answer it.
And if we do, is he ready to concede (including yourelf and cohorts)

Emp.iree even alluded to the issue being a translation thing by insinuating the op converts to Islam and learn Arabic. What nonsense. Simple translation and its only Arabic that can't be translated because the English exposes mohammed as a fraud.
@underlined is clearly your insinuation. You have no case mrs.

following mohammeds teachings will kill.
PROPAGANDA! Unfortunately, we have only one Muhammad

How can he say nothing corrupts water.
Replicating your boyfriend, truthman2012, carnal mind can not understand unless he/she has 'holy spirit'.

Disgusting fellow.
Indeed, he (truthman2012) truly is. I am glad you figured this out.

I wonder how many Muslims have died paying attention to that advice.
ZERO

Truthman2012 [s]exposing mohammed as usual and u Muslims can't even make a decent argument.[/s]
Rubbish!

2 Likes

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Ifeann(f): 10:00pm On May 25, 2015
Empiree:
We are absolutely under no obligation to answer his questions on the condition that he never acknowledged sincere answers from us. He copied that silly mentality from you.

And if we do, is he ready to concede (including yourelf and cohorts)

@underlined is clearly your insinuation. You have no case mrs.

PROPAGANDA! Unfortunately, we have only one Muhammad

Replicating your boyfriend, truthman2012, carnal mind can not understand unless he/she has 'holy spirit'.

Indeed, he (truthman2012) truly is. I am glad you figured this out.

ZERO

Rubbish!

And you are yet to address the points raised by the op which exposes mohammed as an ignorant fraud who gave bad advise.

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