I remember tagging along when my mum went shopping every last Saturday of the month. I drew one heavy step after another because this was my least favourite chore – grocery shopping. The market was always messy and when we passed the butchers’, oh, that stench! And I always wondered if it was the same piece of meat exposed on wooden tables, which also had flies hovering over it that we were going to put into our pot of stew!

Sometimes we would buy so much and have to carry so many bags. When we had to stop to buy another item, I would drop the bags to rest my hands and sometimes, forget that I kept the nylon with the pack of Maggi cubes on the okro seller’s table! We would get home and begin to look for Maggi and I would remember the okro seller’s stand, miles away. My ears would then remain sore for days from pulling and twitching.

As much as I hated going to the market, I still went with mum on every trip. I had to help. It was the least I could do considering that she was going to grind the pepper with a grinding stone (yes, grinding stone! My dad claims the taste of blender-stew is different!) and “wash” beans for moi-moi with a protruding belly.

It became more difficult when I first left for boarding school. Mum was in her third trimester and she had to do the market trips alone. She was always easily exhausted as she dragged the heavy bags home. She couldn’t bargain as well as she used to. She had to sit to rest at every stall she bought an item. When asked why she did all of that, she’d say ‘such is the fragrance of motherhood, the pact of every African woman’.

Thirteen years later, when asked about my mum’s household care pattern, I say that method is called ‘suffer-head theory’. Yes, I do not believe the fragrance of motherhood is to overwork oneself. Grind pepper with stones? If you don’t like the taste of blender-stew, please add more curry!

My life is much easier. I do not do market trips anymore. My family eats very healthy too. The secret? I buy my groceries online! I draw up a list of the items I need and log on to any one of the grocery sites. My favourite being: www.jaramall.com. I buy all I need and have them delivered to my home. When no one is available to receive the groceries at home, I request for them to be brought to my office and I take them home. And my groceries are always fresh and well-packaged – no flies or stench!

I am a 21st century woman and even at that, my family stays healthy! So, whose household care pattern do you dig? Mine or my mum’s?

http://234pearl./2013/05/08/suffer-head-is-that-the-fragrance-of-an-african-woman/

Without a shadow of a doubt!

Lol, the men are attracted to the sufferhead nature now. They always praise all their suffering mothers. You don't want your sons to sing sweet mother I no go forget you for this suffer wey you suffer for me? You want to carry last, abi? Abeg get with the program.

I don't know what to make of this write up.....

As far as i can remember,the internet was introduced in Nigeria in 1996 and even at that in 2008 just 15.9% had access to the internet.

How would have your mum do her shopping online and grind her tomatoes when all these electronics gadgets were still a luxury to most.
The internet still remains a phenomenon in the country and rural areas still shout out from this illumination,we are yet to have a stable electricity system in the country and you are here talking about online shopping?

Yes we are 21 century women good for us but that wasn't the case for some of our mothers. Anything to make our mothers look like slaves.....

At least for you to order online, you have a credit card
.. blender etc


Some of all these ones that shouts and praise those suffer heads don't even have food to chop.

The 200 naira their husbands gives them should be well accounted for while buying 50 naira ice fish and 15 naira crayfish etc.

This one can't be done online oh.

Make evribody dey him lane...

Chillis:
At least for you to order online, you have a credit card
.. blender etc


Some of all these ones that shouts and praise those suffer heads don't even have food to chop.

The 200 naira their husbands gives them should be well accounted for while buying 50 naira ice fish and 15 naira crayfish etc.

This one can't be done online oh.

Make evribody dey him lane...

Thank you darling for this,i don't get this woman....

Chillis:
At least for you to order online, you have a credit card
.. blender etc


Some of all these ones that shouts and praise those suffer heads don't even have food to chop.

The 200 naira their husbands gives them should be well accounted for while buying 50 naira ice fish and 15 naira crayfish etc.

This one can't be done online oh.

Make evribody dey him lane...

Seconded.

.

This post is since 2013.

Abeg make the past stay in the past

suffer head babes

It doesn't look suffer head to me o.I love grocery shopping . There's fun in writing your list.,There's fun in going to market where you would meet different people from all works of life from the high to the lowly. Then nothing come sweet pass doing aprico that is over prising the food and buying it less than you budgeted and then KEEPING THE CHANGE.

edwife:
I don't know what to make of this write up.....

As far as i can remember,the internet was introduced in Nigeria in 1996 and even at that in 2008 just 15.9% had access to the internet.

How would have your mum do her shopping online and grind her tomatoes when all these electronics gadgets were still a luxury to most.
The internet still remains a phenomenon in the country and rural areas still shout out from this illumination,we are yet to have a stable electricity system in the country and you are here talking about online shopping?

Yes we are 21 century women good for us but that wasn't the case for some of our mothers. Anything to make our mothers look like slaves.....

Electric blenders have been available in Naija way before the 80's. And even then, not having a blender did not necessarily mean you had to bend on all fours and grind your life away on a grinding stone. For an extra 5naira or so, you could blend your tomatoes, pepper, onions, Egusi, Crayfish, Ogbolo, etc at the market.

Chillis:
At least for you to order online, you have a credit card
.. blender etc
Some of all these ones that shouts and praise those suffer heads don't even have food to chop.
The 200 naira their husbands gives them should be well accounted for while buying 50 naira ice fish and 15 naira crayfish etc.
This one can't be done online oh.
Make evribody dey him lane...

How you sef, take know?

Chillis:
At least for you to order online, you have a credit card
.. blender etc


Some of all these ones that shouts and praise those suffer heads don't even have food to chop.

The 200 naira their husbands gives them should be well accounted for while buying 50 naira ice fish and 15 naira crayfish etc.

This one can't be done online oh.

Make evribody dey him lane...

Chilli and her funny comments.

EfemenaXY:


Electric blenders have been available in Naija way before the 80's. And even then, not having a blender did not necessarily mean you had to bend on all fours and grind your life away on a grinding stone. For an extra 5naira or so, you could blend your tomatoes, pepper, onions, Egusi, Crayfish, Ogbolo, etc at the market.

Well i said it was a luxury to some-and what is there in grinding tomatoes you gonna use to cook food for 3 or 4 people?

It is not like you are cooking for the whole state or neighbourhood but a family of 4 or 5.

I have tried using it on my short stay in the village and did not find it that hard at all,besides these women we are talking about were wired to take such challenges.

Women who want to grind tomatoes with stones can do it. That's their business. What I have a problem with is when every woman is expected to do it as a sign of womanhood or motherhood or when a woman who does not want to grind tomatoes with stones is considered lazy.

edwife:


Well i said it was a luxury to some-and what is there in grinding tomatoes you gonna use to cook food for 3 or 4 people?

It is not like you are cooking for the whole state or neighbourhood but a family of 4 or 5.

I have tried using it on my short stay in the village and did not find it that hard at all,besides these women we are talking about were wired to take such challenges.

Even in the village market, on market days, you can get your tomatoes et al blended. Come to think of it, they don't all use electricity to run those machinery. They're hand-held devices you just rotate. As you pour your egusi in, with the left hand, rotate with the right and collected the nicely grounded stuff in a polythene bag.

You ask what's wrong with bending down on all fours to grind away?

One word. ARTHRITIS.

Like there is enough time in the day to do these in the 21st century. Each to there own sha. There's a reason I guess why I still get I'd when buying wine, because I don't give myself unnecessary wahala. Working hard is not the same as working smart!

EfemenaXY:


Even in the village market, on market days, you can get your tomatoes et al blended. Come to think of it, they don't all use electricity to run those machinery. They're hand-held devices you just rotate. As you pour your egusi in, with the left hand, rotate with the right and collected the nicely grounded stuff in a polythene bag.

You ask what's wrong with bending down on all fours to grind away?

One word. ARTHRITIS.

Lol Efe that was their choices which you and i have no control.What i am saying if you read my initial post,that was their time and they didn't die.If we are talking about this day and age,i totally agree but if you find pleasure in doing that-what is wrong there?

I know about the machinery for the egusi and even where i was raised for kassava leaves.

Herzempeter sorry for the misspell did share a picture in the kitchen one day and i was pleased,she didn't sound suffer-head to me.

shaybebaby:
Like there is enough time in the day to do these in the 21st century. Each to there own sha. There's a reason I guess why I still get I'd when buying wine, because I don't give myself unnecessary wahala. Working hard is not the same as working smart!

That's it girl. Working smart not working hard.

edwife:


Lol Efe that was their choices which you and i have no control.What i am saying if you read my initial post,that was their time and they didn't die.If we are talking about this day and age,i totally agree but if you find pleasure in doing that-what is wrong there?

I know about the machinery for the egusi and even where i was raised for kassava leaves.

Herzempeter sorry for the misspell did share a picture in the kitchen one day and i was pleased,she didn't sound suffer-head to me.

The title of this thread very appropriately encapsulates @Op's mother's attitude towards slave labour.

She even had the option of using the electric blender but stated that hubby preferred it done with a grinding stone. So she did have that choice but didn't want to take it up. Yet she struggled through the later phases of her preganancy?

The sad part of all this is that there are many folks out there who still think like that today. How many threads have we got on here about some guys thinking a woman's worth is measured by how much she handwashes his tough, khaki jeans trousers?

Chillisause was right on the money. Again.

EfemenaXY:


The title of this thread very appropriately encapsulates @Op's mother's attitude towards slave labour.

She even had the option of using the electric blender but stated that hubby preferred it done with a grinding stone. So she did have that choice but didn't want to take it up. Yet she struggled through the later phases of her preganancy?

The sad part of all this is that there are many folks out there who still think like that today. How many threads have we got on here about some guys thinking a woman's worth is measured by how much she handwashes his tough, khaki jeans trousers?

Chillisause was right on the money. Again.

Yep chillisauce said it all,make everybody dey him lane....

Ahannn cool down na


why your blood dey hot?


op is doing comparison. So she's asking her readers which one do you prefer is it the conventional African method or Oyinbo online method of purchase



lobatan. KOMUjadani

edwife:
I don't know what to make of this write up.....

As far as i can remember,the internet was introduced in Nigeria in 1996 and even at that in 2008 just 15.9% had access to the internet.

How would have your mum do her shopping online and grind her tomatoes when all these electronics gadgets were still a luxury to most.
The internet still remains a phenomenon in the country and rural areas still shout out from this illumination,we are yet to have a stable electricity system in the country and you are here talking about online shopping?

Yes we are 21 century women good for us but that wasn't the case for some of our mothers. Anything to make our mothers look like slaves.....

The bottom line is CHOICE

some people feel washing machine doesn't wash jeans clean compared to hand washing. To each her own sha


Hawa you anyway. Hope you are good? It's been a while

EfemenaXY:


The title of this thread very appropriately encapsulates @Op's mother's attitude towards slave labour.

She even had the option of using the electric blender but stated that hubby preferred it done with a grinding stone. So she did have that choice but didn't want to take it up. Yet she struggled through the later phases of her preganancy?

The sad part of all this is that there are many folks out there who still think like that today. How many threads have we got on here about some guys thinking a woman's worth is measured by how much she handwashes his tough, khaki jeans trousers?

Chillisause was right on the money. Again.

SAMBARRY:
Ahannn cool down na
why your blood dey hot?

op is doing comparison. So she's asking her readers which one do you prefer is it the conventional African method or Oyinbo online method of purchase

lobatan. KOMUjadani

Lol i am cool i just didn't understand her post really,she asked :So, whose household care pattern do you dig? Mine or my mum’s?

Of course we will dig hers,but as chillisauce said....she has a credit or debit card her mum didn't,there were limited access to the internet so how can we choose?

It's like someone saying tracking to school like most of our parents did and getting a bus which one do we dig?

Chillisauce where them dey sell 15 naira fish?

this woman you no go kill person

Chillis:
At least for you to order online, you have a credit card
.. blender etc


Some of all these ones that shouts and praise those suffer heads don't even have food to chop.

The 200 naira their husbands gives them should be well accounted for while buying 50 naira ice fish and 15 naira crayfish etc.

This one can't be done online oh.

Make evribody dey him lane...

SAMBARRY:
The bottom line is CHOICE

some people feel washing machine doesn't wash jeans clean compared to hand washing. To each her own sha


Hawa you anyway. Hope you are good? It's been a while

I dey suspect you Kulyie.

Just admit it. You be the handwashing-Canoe-soap-in-an-iron-bucket kinda girl.

Go on, admit it.

Just as Edwife na hitch-my-wrapper-grinding-stone-kind-of-girl...

I'm good. You? Happy Sunday!

Of course I still prefer the convenientional African shopping where you can choose what you wan gan gan and you can price, move around till you see a seller that is ready to sell for you at your terms. I don't dig the online shopping o jare except when I'm in a grocery store and I'm cash trapped i can use pos.and because of this longer throat sales girls that will say there's no change so that you can be forced to leave your change with them

as for the stone grinding, since I was younger I've not used it again. It's either blender or nothing and how much is blender, with 5k you can get binatone blender

edwife:


Lol i am cool i just didn't understand her post really,she asked :So, whose household care pattern do you dig? Mine or my mum’s?

Of course we will dig hers,but as chillisauce said....she has a credit or debit card her mum didn't,there were limited access to the internet so how can we choose?

It's like someone saying tracking to school like most of our parents did and getting a bus which one do we dig?

SAMBARRY:
Of course I still prefer the convenientional African shopping where you can choose what you wan gan gan and you can price, move around till you see a seller that is ready to sell for you at your terms. I don't dig the online shopping o jare except when I'm in a grocery store and I'm cash trapped i can use pos.and because of this longer throat sales girls that will say there's no change so that you can be forced to leave your change with them

Kia!

You're worse than Chillisauce.

So your Tassan Nairas nor dey ever miss road?

MsBliss:
It doesn't look suffer head to me o.I love grocery shopping . There's fun in writing your list.,There's fun in going to market where you would meet different people from all works of life from the high to the lowly. Then nothing come sweet pass doing aprico that is over prising the food and buying it less than you budgeted and then KEEPING THE CHANGE.

this is only fun in the village where their markets are swept daily and always clean with no air pollution. in the towns or city ehn. no go there o. agberos will make you regret coming.always clutching your purse so that no one steals it from you. lol

EfemenaXY:


Kia!

You're worse than Chillisauce.

So your Tassan Nairas nor dey ever miss road?

except my mind wants to release it. If my mind says no na pos tins


except she says aunty let me help you carry it inside boot I can find something for her. Asides that. Na oyo o

EfemenaXY:


I dey suspect you Kulyie.

Just admit it. You be the handwashing-Canoe-soap-in-an-iron-bucket kinda girl.

Go on, admit it.

Just as Edwife na hitch-my-wrapper-grinding-stone-kind-of-girl...

I'm good. You? Happy Sunday!

Efe how you take know?

It sweet me pass anything whenever i go to the village,my MIL will be doing it and i always take the stone from her and do it....

Okay let's us say it is for fun i do it not like an obligation.

As for online shopping,na my enemy number one,i got to touch what i buy.....

cococandy:
this is only fun in the village where their markets are swept daily and always clean with no air pollution. in the towns or city ehn. no go there o. agberos will make you regret coming.always clutching your purse so that no one steals it from you. lol

that one too is another case on its own with those Agberos lurking around waiting for you to forget your wallet where you bought pepper