freecocoa:
That's the beauty of our individuality.

I just believe that people who easily get offended aren't really nice people, I mean from my point of view, you have to make room for people's excesses to an extent and if one always reacts to everything done to them, it will ruin a lot of things, especially as the offender may have just made a honest mistake, so it's best not to react immediately till you are certain the action taken is worth the anger.

I'll consider things like, not being big on sharing, bad table manners, bad dress sense, mouth odour, poor hygiene(this one to some level sha), as minor because these things can be changed or managed better/easier than temper can.

@bolded - You can say that again but I feel you though. They are not the best people to have around.

Kimoni:


@bolded - You can say that again but I feel you though. They are not the best people to have around.

I no fit type much. But I find sometimes temperamental people may not necessarily be a horrible person. I know people that you will call temperamental as they can't hide theur anger. They are also impatient as won't make excuses for people .You offend them or your are being too slow they call you out straight and the next minute they have forgotten about it. It could be tedious or dramatic but with them what you see is what you get. Sometimes they are also very fiercely loyal. I agree though that they need to manage their emotions but sometimes being prone to anger does not make someone a bad person.


I don't get angry easily and I can give people a veeeeerrrrry long rope BUT once they hang themselves that's it. My mum would say I dey fear you o the way you can cut people off ehn.its not like I would hate the person or anything I just would not want to have anything to do with them anymore.and it would take alooooot to change my mind.my sister is like those people I described earlier but tend to forgive people more than I do. The only thing is everyone will know that this person deserves to be cut off as I would have given multiple chances. I just hate drama and dramatic people.

I also find that I don't get angry easily but my anger when I do can be destructive I could say really mean things(not abuse can't abuse to save my life) but hurtful things. My faith has really helped with that though and I try not to get angry to that level whereby I turn nasty. I don't like it and thankfully that side rarely(I hope never) comes out again.

BoboYekini:
Yes I see your angle. Makes perfect sense that white Knighting can be caused by unresolved daddy issues, but Locke was a walking(driving) contradiction. While his abandonment of his prestigious job was beta male behavior, one could argue that his calm handling of the different situations with his work subordinate, his superior and even the nurse on the phone was exquisite Don Draper.
Anyway, speaking of the skewed marriage-divorce laws in the West, I completely agree that they have been pushed by feminists and manginas. It's simply to be expected that in this age of computer driven success, that more beta males will get to power and positions where they can influence the laws, people like Zuckerberg. And Seun lol.
Beta is the new alpha.

While I could describe him as somewhat alpha, he lost frame in that moment and was held in that loop throughout the length of the movie. You could say he snapped and was on auto-pilot and he might only realise the extent of his error after a while; days or months. You could understand this especially where he was troubleshooting work issues.

I think it was a well-directed movie, anyway. And Hardy delivered And you're right on the money with Zuckerberg and co.

Kimoni

Sorry I couldnt respond earlier

My own model might be unique because of what I want. I wanted a very educated wife and married one, Actually she is more educated than me.
I have more work experience, she has more paper qualifications. Currently I make more than her but she could eventually make more(if we both depend solely on our salaries)

As a person i would be honest I am not a very picky person. My bedroom as a bachelor wasnt always clean . The only place that were clean are my car and living room and I dont expect her to be the one to be cleaning everywhere. Though she does it anyway

Food. I dont really care about food. Most time when she asks what do you want to eat, I just respond "Anything or whatever you want to eat"

I am the type of person who doesnt mind throwing money at issues. Office clothes send to laundry, casuals throw in washing machine, If the house need cleaning get a maid, if the lawn need mowing get a handyman. even if we are on leave, I would still pay for baby sitter

Our joint current income is enough for us right now but in the future we would likely earn much more, What I earn alone can probably take care of us, what she would earn in future too can easily take care of both of us. The additional income can go into making our lives easy and for luxuries. probably hire a live in nanny, maid and handymen to do the work buy more cars, go on vacations more often.

My life was simple before I got married, and I dont think it would change. I wont start asking for my clothes to be perfectly ironed just because I have a wife or for her to cook fresh soup daily and 3 course meal because before she finished I fit don chop one snack or down one bottle of Guinness and the hunger don go and the freshly cooked soup don turn yesterday soup

Timbuktou:


While I could describe him as somewhat alpha, he lost frame in that moment and was held in that loop throughout the length of the movie. You could say he snapped and was on auto-pilot and he might only realise the extent of his error after a while; days or months. You could understand this especially where he was troubleshooting work issues.

I think it was a well-directed movie, anyway. And Hardy delivered And you're right on the money with Zuckerberg and co.

No shit. I'm a fan. I read somewhere that the movie was made in a week or so.

BoboYekini:
No shit. I'm a fan. I read somewhere that the movie was made in a week or so.

A week is impressive. Then again, not much to do by way of casting so, it must have been relatively easy. I imagine nollywood would have done it in 4hours or less

Timbuktou:


A week is impressive. Then again, not much to do by way of casting so, it must have been relatively easy. I imagine nollywood would have done it in 4hours or less

Haha no doubt. Hey about this thread, na boys dey here abi na married men? Shouldn't we be talking strippers liquor n shît? All I see is washing machines and amino sulphate

@Kimoni,

Marrying right is not marrying a perfect person but marrying a complimentary person. Someone who aligns and shares your values, belief and thought. Can two walk together except they agree?

If that is not done right, all these big grammars about domestic chores wouldn't finish.

BoboYekini:
Haha no doubt. Hey about this thread, na boys dey here abi na married men? Shouldn't we be talking strippers liquor n shît? All I see is washing machines and amino sulphate

Hehe. It's both, my mahn. It should encompass the entire spectrum of manhood experiences. So, the washing machine talk has somewhat of a place here as a sphere in the general experiences of the average man.

Per strippers, you could start a discussion on that. Someone has to set the ball rolling.

@raumdeuter - waoh! thanks for the details. I'll say your wifey is lucky cuz of your undemanding nature. She can take her time to do the house chores. But knowing us women, even without any pressure, we would still look for ways to show off our multi-tasking abilities. Our hands must just be kept active

W

damiso:

I no fit type much. But I find sometimes temperamental people may not necessarily be a horrible person. I know people that you will call temperamental as they can't hide theur anger. They are also impatient as won't make excuses for people .You offend them or your are being too slow they call you out straight and the next minute they have forgotten about it. It could be tedious or dramatic but with them what you see is what you get. Sometimes they are also very fiercely loyal. I agree though that they need to manage their emotions but sometimes being prone to anger does not make someone a bad person.

I don't get angry easily and I can give people a veeeeerrrrry long rope BUT once they hang themselves that's it. My mum would say I dey fear you o the way you can cut people off ehn.its not like I would hate the person or anything I just would not want to have anything to do with them anymore.and it would take alooooot to change my mind.my sister is like those people I described earlier but tend to forgive people more than I do. The only thing is everyone will know that this person deserves to be cut off as I would have given multiple chances. I just hate drama and dramatic people.

I also find that I don't get angry easily but my anger when I do can be destructive I could say really mean things(not abuse can't abuse to save my life) but hurtful things. My faith has really helped with that though and I try not to get angry to that level whereby I turn nasty. I don't like it and thankfully that side rarely(I hope never) comes out again.

@destructive -

I get what you mean and I fully agree. Infact, I have two elders brothers like that. In our younger years, we feared the hot tempered one and thought the quiet one was an angel; but now that we are much older, we realize the former only barks but never bites, but the gentle brother, choi!! extremely quiet, unpredictable and very brutal when he strikes fortunately, they both now testify that their wives have them better persons. Hallelujah

@ freecocoa

bellong:
@Kimoni,

Marrying right is not marrying a perfect person but marrying a complimentary person. Someone who aligns and shares your values, belief and thought. Can two walk together except they agree?

If that is not done right, all these big grammars about domestic chores wouldn't finish.

Lol...Bellong. I agree and disagree. Will bring it up with you again much later.

lemme allow Tim and Yekini to see front

Kimoni:


Lol...Bellong. I agree and disagree. Will bring it up with you again much later.

lemme allow Tim and Yekini to see front

okie dokie...

Well, this post is old...

I'm currently having problems with my husband. At the moment we're in different countries, I haven't seen him in 8 months, and he barely pays any attention to me. He does send me daily messages, but only in the morning and then he forgets that I exist. He's not romantic, he's never been, but I can't take this lack of attention anymore. I wanna feel loved by my husband, I'm thinking about quitting the relationship...

freecocoa:
That's the beauty of our individuality.

I just believe that people who easily get offended aren't really nice people, I mean from my point of view, you have to make room for people's excesses to an extent and if one always reacts to everything done to them, it will ruin a lot of things, especially as the offender may have just made a honest mistake, so it's best not to react immediately till you are certain the action taken is worth the anger.

I'll consider things like, not being big on sharing, bad table manners, bad dress sense, mouth odour, poor hygiene(this one to some level sha), as minor because these things can be changed or managed better/easier than temper can.

I agree

A person's value system is more important than who will press power on washing machine

Kimoni:
W

@destructive -

I get what you mean and I fully agree. Infact, I have two elders brothers like that. In our younger years, we feared the hot tempered one and thought the quiet one was an angel; but now that we are much older, we realize the former only barks but never bites, but the gentle brother, choi!! extremely quiet, unpredictable and very brutal when he strikes fortunately, they both now testify that their wives have them better persons. Hallelujah

@ freecocoa

Not proud of it. Only ever been in a physical altercation once in my life and people talked about that smack down for ages it was in sec school and the girl was always picking on me cos she thought I was quiet and easy going . The day I had enough ehn people kept looking at me strangely for weeks as they could not reconcile it to my normal behaviour.

I once threw an iron at my younger sister.

It was worse in my teenage years though and as I grow older in age and faith it happens less. I just try to communicate my feelings in other ways.

That's why when you guys say damiso is quiet I just go dey laugh

Kimoni:
W

@destructive -

I get what you mean and I fully agree. Infact, I have two elders brothers like that. In our younger years, we feared the hot tempered one and thought the quiet one was an angel; but now that we are much older, we realize the former only barks but never bites, but the gentle brother, choi!! extremely quiet, unpredictable and very brutal when he strikes fortunately, they both now testify that their wives have them better persons. Hallelujah

@ freecocoa

Yea well, I guess we all have different experiences and that's part of what shapes our views on things, all the encounters I've had with temperamental people, they never put the other person's feelings into consideration before taking actions and that's something I can't deal with, plus being quiet doesn't automatically make one a nice person either because quiet people can be hot tempered too, the only difference is they may not use words to express their anger.

The issue is that while the barker may calm down afterwards, he may say something damaging in a fit of unjustified rage and I as a person, believe what you say matter a lot, so you can't always get angry over every little thing, cussing me out only to later tell me "I was just angry, I didn't mean it" so please keep your emotions in check.

pickabeau1:


I agree

A person's value system is more important than who will press power on washing machine

Truer words have not been said.

BoboYekini:
Are you suggesting that men wait until marriage before engaging in sex and honing their skills?

If Christian, yes. ANd skills can be honed during marriage. One doesn't have to come to marriage sexually perfected. Indeed, you can't, as you wil still have to adjust to your wife' preferences.

And I know this may well prove challenging - especially where marriage happens late.

So, where would you like to start !


TV

freecocoa:
Yea well, I guess we all have different experiences and that's part of what shapes our views on things, all the encounters I've had with temperamental people, they never put the other person's feelings into consideration before taking actions and that's something I can't deal with, plus being quiet doesn't automatically make one a nice person either because quiet people can be hot tempered too, the only difference is they may not use words to express their anger.

The issue is that while the barker may calm down afterwards, he may say something damaging in a fit of unjustified rage and I as a person, believe what you say matter a lot, so you can't always get angry over every little thing, cussing me out only to later tell me "I was just angry, I didn't mean it" so please keep your emotions in check.

Also true

The Bible says an angry man is like a city without walls

pickabeau1:


Also true

The Bible says an angry man is like a city without walls

Abi?

A man who can't reign in his emotions and basic impulses...and is not seriously attending to it...and to actually marry such a one?...I no fit


TV

TV01:

Abi?

A man who can't reign in his emotions and basic impulses...and is not seriously attending to it...and to actually marry such a one?...I no fit


TV

Well if he does the chores dutifully he Is 10/10

Ok, let's talk about sex.
I've read multiple threads on NL where the ladies complain about their man's (boyfriend or husband, as the case may be) inability to 'satisfy' them. More often than not, it's a case of premature ejacûlation.
We all know that the cause of this, in 90 percent of guys, is inexperience. Most of these guys have little to no history of constant sex with a willing partner, hence the inability to draw out the process. It is a learned response.
Now the conundrum - Women universally want a man who can lay the pipe, and at the same time will typically refuse sex with a man until he shows commitment (read LTR/marriage). He shows commitment and fixates on her at the detriment of his sexual mastery, which he would have certainly got if he had enough girls willing to have sexual relations without drama.
Well finally she has sex with him after 6months/marriage and of course he underperforms and she is horrified.
So gentlemen, what to do. Let's not even try to reason with the womenfolk or persuade them to let us have all the sex we want before LTR/marriage. They cannot be reasoned with .
How does a young fella looking to get married hone his sexual skills into becoming the ready made stud that his wife-to-be expects?

damiso:


Not proud of it. Only ever been in a physical altercation once in my life and people talked about that smack down for ages it was in sec school and the girl was always picking on me cos she thought I was quiet and easy going . The day I had enough ehn people kept looking at me strangely for weeks as they could not reconcile it to my normal behaviour.

I once threw an iron at my younger sister.

It was worse in my teenage years though and as I grow older in age and faith it happens less. I just try to communicate my feelings in other ways.

That's why when you guys say damiso is quiet I just go dey laugh

i find it very hard to believe.
spin the tale anyhow you want. tell us you once beat up a bus conductor, we won't still believe you.
i have put your name forward to the united nations to help us solve the middle east crisis once and for all.
all hail queen damiso.......the minister of peace.

pickabeau1:


Well if he does the chores dutifully he Is 10/10

Well, there's nothing sexier than a floor-mopping, dish-washing man, is there?

pickabeau1:


Also true

The Bible says an angry man is like a city without walls

Never knew there's a pastor in you, keep up the good work.

BoboYekini:
Ok, let's talk about sex.
I've read multiple threads on NL where the ladies complain about their man's (boyfriend or husband, as the case may be) inability to 'satisfy' them. More often than not, it's a case of premature ejacûlation.
We all know that the cause of this, in 90 percent of guys, is inexperience. Most of these guys have little to no history of constant sex with a willing partner, hence the inability to draw out the process. It is a learned response.
Now the conundrum - Women universally want a man who can lay the pipe, and at the same time will typically refuse sex with a man until he shows commitment (read LTR/marriage). He shows commitment and fixates on her at the detriment of his sexual mastery, which he would have certainly got if he had enough girls willing to have sexual relations without drama.
Well finally she has sex with him after 6months/marriage and of course he underperforms and she is horrified.
So gentlemen, what to do. Let's not even try to reason with the womenfolk or persuade them to let us have all the sex we want before LTR/marriage. They cannot be reasoned with .
How does a young fella looking to get married hone his sexual skills into becoming the ready made stud that his wife-to-be expects?

Duh! Get a partner who understands that sex is not doing the man a favour and you are good to go.

TV01:

If Christian, yes. ANd skills can be honed during marriage. One doesn't have to come to marriage sexually perfected. Indeed, you can't, as you wil still have to adjust to your wife' preferences.

And I know this may well prove challenging - especially where marriage happens late.

So, where would you like to start !


TV

Haha but that's the issue, Women expect(want) you to come ready. How you get the experience be damned.

coogar:


i find it very hard to believe.
spin the tale anyhow you want. tell us you once beat up a bus conductor, we won't still believe you.
i have put your name forward to the united nations to help us solve the middle east crisis once and for all.
all hail queen damiso.......the minister of peace.

Na you know o coogar



Since its bible verses reigning now let me quote my own

'Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God'

But seriously I agree with Freecocoa learning to keep your emotions in check as well considering the feelings of others is a worthy trait to cultivate if one is prone to being temperamental.

Timbuktou:


Well, there's nothing sexier than a floor-mopping, dish-washing man, is there?

until they start seeing him as a mumu and they go out there to start shagging the man that treats them like debris.

damiso:

Na you know o coogar
Since its bible verses reigning now let me quote by own
'Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God'

so you know bible verse like this and yet you are telling us about throwing iron here and there.
damiso, mind yourself o. don't let us down here....you shall be getting a call soon from the united nations.

coogar:


until they start seeing him as a mumu and they go out there to start shagging the man that treats them like debris.



so you know bible verse like this and yet you are telling us about throwing iron here and there.
damiso, mind yourself o. don't let us down here....you shall be getting a call soon from the united nations.

I don vex ni and I was ironing my clothes thank God no one was hurt sha but that girl's mouth when we were younger I can't believe we are now very close.

BoboYekini; I have to admit, TV is right about honing one's skills in marriage. There's nothing you would learn having sex outside marriage that you couldn't learn after getting married. It isn't rocket science, and all it takes is two willing minds and participants and patience.

Firstly, how would the woman know she isn't being satisfied if she hadn't been satisfied before getting married? . So, she begins to get frustrated and impatient and might act out in resentment against him at best, or might even step out on the man or divorce him because he's lousy in bed. The irony however is that she has given what belongs to this man to other men and he's been short-changed both before and after marriage because she gave her best (her innocence and freshness) to other undeserving men and is angry at him for her indiscretions. And you should know that before the sexual revolution, the world was fine with relatively "unsatisfied" women. We went to the moon and space, raised healthier humans and homes were definitely happier. Most religions and cultures preach virginity till marriage for good reason; it makes sex in marriage less complicated, also Okafor's law doesn't come into play.

Furthermore, most of these complainers don't know how to do the thing sef. Speaking from experience, the ones who know how to do are more vocal and participatory and you can feed off that energy and openness and do what should be done. It's the ones that lie stiller than the bed that often come up with compaints of not being satisfied. So, I wouldn't pay too much mind to such. It's a matter of a self-analysis really. You should know if you're putting in the effort or not.

Ultimately, teach your daughters, and sons to wait till marriage. The world would be a happier place if they did.