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Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) - Family (31) - Nairaland

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My Elder Sister Is Feeling Suicidal / Are you feeling angry right now? Let-off steam here! / Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 7:25pm On Nov 07, 2015
MommyD24:
I don't even know where to start from...
My story is way too long. I can't even believe how I got here, I just know that four years ago, I was a very bright intelligent student with so much dreams, aspirations and ambitions...but I've lost my way and can't seem to find it back.
Failed relationships, a 2year old son, an extra year in school, accommodation expiring next month, no idea on how to raise the extra year's school fees or how i'll even survive.
Was it all worth it?No...
I've made terrible choices and mistakes..
I just feel is time to pull the curtains.. where do I go from here?
Your family?How about them?
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by MommyD24(f): 7:29pm On Nov 07, 2015
thorpido:
Your family?How about them?

Struggling...
In their own words, they've carried my burden for as long as they could, they have issues of their own to deal with.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 7:34pm On Nov 07, 2015
MommyD24:


Struggling...
In their own words, they've carried my burden for as long as they could, they have issues of their own to deal with.
Okay from where you are now,you have to move foward.The most important need is money.You have to graduate at least.
Is your son staying with you?Is the father helping out with funds?
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by MommyD24(f): 7:55pm On Nov 07, 2015
thorpido:
Okay from where you are now,you have to move foward.The most important need is money.You have to graduate at least.
Is your son staying with you?Is the father helping out with funds?

Yeah, My son stays with me. No, his dad isn't even in the picture.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 7:59pm On Nov 07, 2015
MommyD24:


Yeah, My son stays with me. No, his dad isn't even in the picture.
Can i get your number?

1 Like

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by MommyD24(f): 8:05pm On Nov 07, 2015
thorpido:
Can i get your number?
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 8:44pm On Nov 07, 2015
MommyD24:


Here it is, would modify this post soon.
.
MommyD24 seen.You can modify your post.

1 Like

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Aitee1: 1:35pm On Nov 08, 2015
thorpido:
Can i get your number?

God bless your loving soul!

6 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 2:43pm On Nov 08, 2015
Aitee1:


God bless your loving soul!
Amen

10 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by anna5: 1:31pm On Nov 10, 2015
hi as I write this now I don't know if I will be able too see tomorrow. if nt because of my mum I would have popped the pills a long time ago. I gained admission for medicine last year but our second semester result came out and I failed maths which means I will have to leave the department. it happened a month ago but I just told my dad today. and as I expected he told me that if am nt able to fix it then I should get married and leave his house or he will sell all his properties and pack out. he said it as if I wanted to fail. he has always been like this, always driving me to the edge. I don't even know y I wanted to study med in the first place, I wish I had gone for something else atleast I would have rest. I don't know wt to do with my life, ending it seems like a gud choice but my mum will be greatly affected as for my dad I would want him to feel great pains knowing that he is the reason y I did it.
he has so tormented all of us in the family if nt for the fact that he pays our school fees we would have put him in his rightful place a long time ago. he acts as if haveing us as children is his greatest mistake. he treats other people's kids as gold but us as dirt
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 1:51pm On Nov 10, 2015
anna5:
hi as I write this now I don't know if I will be able too see tomorrow. if nt because of my mum I would have popped the pills a long time ago. I gained admission for medicine last year but our second semester result came out and I failed maths which means I will have to leave the department. it happened a month ago but I just told my dad today. and as I expected he told me that if am nt able to fix it then I should get married and leave his house or he will sell all his properties and pack out. he said it as if I wanted to fail. he has always been like this, always driving me to the edge. I don't even know y I wanted to study med in the first place, I wish I had gone for something else atleast I would have rest. I don't know wt to do with my life, ending it seems like a gud choice but my mum will be greatly affected as for my dad I would want him to feel great pains knowing that he is the reason y I did it.
he has so tormented all of us in the family if nt for the fact that he pays our school fees we would have put him in his rightful place a long time ago. he acts as if haveing us as children is his greatest mistake. he treats other people's kids as gold but us as dirt
Who's idea was it to study medicine?Yours or your dad's?
If you have to leave the department of medicine,can you change to another course?
If I may ask,what is really your own desires as per academics?
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by anna5: 2:14pm On Nov 10, 2015
thorpido:
Who's idea was it to study medicine?Yours or your dad's?
If you have to leave the department of medicine,can you change to another course?
If I may ask,what is really your own desires as per academics?
my idea but the way he just kept mounting pressure on me made it worst. I only said I wanted to do medicine because my senior bro also said he wanted to do it and everyone was proud of him so I wanted the same thing. I can change to anothe department but my dad said if that should happen I should get married
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 3:32pm On Nov 10, 2015
anna5:
my idea but the way he just kept mounting pressure on me made it worst. I only said I wanted to do medicine because my senior bro also said he wanted to do it and everyone was proud of him so I wanted the same thing. I can change to anothe department but my dad said if that should happen I should get married
So marriage is another department?Your dad must be joking.
If the rule of your university demands that you leave the department,wait a while and have a talk with him.Let him know the school rule is that you have to leave the department.
The choices you have is either to enrol for UTME and try to gain admission into another school or you change to another course in the same university.Talk to your mum about this or any of your dad's confidants and let them talk to him.He will eventually calm down.
The reality of life is that a lot of people fail in the university but many later pass and are doing well in life.You on your part has to be very focused.Medicine and surgery is not for people who want to play

3 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by anna5: 3:48pm On Nov 10, 2015
thorpido:
So marriage is another department?Your dad must be joking.
If the rule of your university demands that you leave the department,wait a while and have a talk with him.Let him know the school rule is that you have to leave the department.
The choices you have is either to enrol for UTME and try to gain admission into another school or you change to another course in the same university.Talk to your mum about this or any of your dad's confidants and let them talk to him.He will eventually calm down.
The reality of life is that a lot of people fail in the university but many later pass and are doing well in life.You on your part has to be very focused.Medicine and surgery is not for people who want to play
the want thing with my dad is he doesn't listen to anyone, I might just leave the house for hiim the problem is were do I go to. am nt playful just that I have always had problem in math it by luck that I passed it in waec
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by gloryl(f): 5:10pm On Nov 10, 2015
Tgirl4real:
The thoughts of starting a counselling/encouragement thread for people that are depressed or suicidal had been on my mind for a long time now. I wanted to create an avenue where they can open up and get solace from people around here.

I really don't know how to put this down, but if you are feeling depressed and battling with the thoughts of suicide, kindly share so that we can all go through it together. Through our interactions, we can help lift the burden and who knows, you can actually find a solution to your problem here.

This is the old thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/826801/feeling-suicidal-come-here-first

Please let's share...

Dear poster, please I need advice before I lose my mind and die of heart ache. I am suffering from a problem I created for myself. Please paste me your email. I need to talk to you please.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by scampy(m): 8:13pm On Nov 10, 2015
gloryl:


Dear poster, please I need advice before I lose my mind and die of heart ache. I am suffering from a problem I created for myself. Please paste me your email. I need to talk to you please.

You can also share the problem here. There are lots of people that will be willing to help. Thanks and God bless you.

2 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by bellong: 9:11pm On Nov 10, 2015
Anna5,

You are too young to be forced into a marriage. Like Thorpido told you, it is only a matter of time, your dad will calm down.

What you need now is to refocus your energy on the next step and way forward.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by anna5: 10:24pm On Nov 10, 2015
bellong:
Anna5,

You are too young to be forced into a marriage. Like Thorpido told you, it is only a matter of time, your dad will calm down.

What you need now is to refocus your energy on the next step and way forward.
thank you I feel a lot better now, my mum said it will never happen that I should leave him until he calms down
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by yoksy(f): 9:41am On Nov 13, 2015
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my pregnancy) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 2:49pm On Nov 13, 2015
yoksy:
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my pregnancy) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.
The first question I'll ask you is,do you really know the man you married?Was he this way when you were dating or did he change?
I'll want you to sit with him when the atmosphere is most conducive and have a frank talk with him about your marriage.It seems like he has not 'settled' even though he is married.
Does your hubby have someone he looks up to or listens to?Even though 3rd parties are usually not encouraged in marriages,if your hubby is uncooperative,you may need to talk with someone he respects.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by yoksy(f): 3:11pm On Nov 13, 2015
thorpido:
The first question I'll ask you is,do you really know the man you married?Was he this way when you were dating or did he change?
I'll want you to sit with him when the atmosphere is most conducive and have a frank talk with him about your marriage.It seems like he has not 'settled' even though he is married.
Does your hubby have someone he looks up to or listens to?Even though 3rd parties are usually not encouraged in marriages,if your hubby is uncooperative,you may need to talk with someone he respects.
he changed I would neva have married such a man, I've tried talking to him severally to no avail of recent I went to see his uncle n as u know d advice is continue to b patient n prayerful
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by thorpido(m): 4:36pm On Nov 13, 2015
yoksy:
he changed I would neva have married such a man, I've tried talking to him severally to no avail of recent I went to see his uncle n as u know d advice is continue to b patient n prayerful
For now,I'll say you should concentrate on yourself.Take care of yourself and wait till you deliver your baby.After your baby is born,you will re-evaluate your marriage.

2 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by curtains: 3:42am On Nov 14, 2015
I just googled how to commit suicide before I came here. I have snipper in my house I hv bin thinking of taking it, at least it's painless... my husband cheated on me by fulfilling his thre3 some fantasy tears hv not stoped flowing from my eyes. I wish I can tell my mum so she can talk me out of it... my heavy n broken heart will kill me even if I don't take that snipper
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 5:07am On Nov 14, 2015
curtains:
I just googled how to commit suicide before I came here. I have snipper in my house I hv bin thinking of taking it, at least it's painless... my husband cheated on me by fulfilling his thre3 some fantasy tears hv not stoped flowing from my eyes. I wish I can tell my mum so she can talk me out of it... my heavy n broken heart will kill me even if I don't take that snipper
cry
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Eke40seven(m): 6:43am On Nov 14, 2015
curtains:
I just googled how to commit suicide before I came here. I have snipper in my house I hv bin thinking of taking it, at least it's painless... my husband cheated on me by fulfilling his thre3 some fantasy tears hv not stoped flowing from my eyes. I wish I can tell my mum so she can talk me out of it... my heavy n broken heart will kill me even if I don't take that snipper
Hello! First and foremost, snipper is not a painless way to the world beyond, I had done some research. So you see, you are getting it wrong from the start. Usually, i'm not good at doing this but for someone who once at different point fought depression ALONE I understand that feeling right now. I understand people like you, just like me, you love too much and every little thing that betrays that love hurts like hell.
In all, if you die today, your husband will continue his activities, may be this time 4 somes and some other more wierd fantasies that will shock you even from your grave.
Just talk to someone with wisdom and knowledge in this issue (not ones with loads of bad advise). It really helps. Do things that make you happy, even sometimes wrong wierd things. Your life, joy and happiness is too precious to be truncated by a man who do not know your worth or who is too blind to realise it now. Do a self assessment of your own and examine areas of your life and marriage where you need to work on..
I have been having some bouts of surges of "heavy" heart recently, and reaching out to you now just gave me some relief. There is a relief that comes from touching other people's life positively.... Just do whatever that makes you happy.

4 Likes

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 6:12pm On Nov 14, 2015
yoksy:
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my pregnancy) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.



Do you suspect he might be suffering from depression?

Has his health affected his finances? If yes, who buys stuff and takes care of his responsibilities in the house?

Has he ever used a viagra with you before? Do you suspect his Manhood no longer rises effectively?

These are serious issues because your hubby may be going through some emotional trauma he is not willing to let you of.
If his health has affected his thing and it isnt functioning effectively, he may be ashamed to make you aware, and he resorts to testing the thing with some one else.

Please answer the above questions. Be sure it is not depression. If it is, then its a serious matter.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 3:20am On Nov 15, 2015
anna5:
hi as I write this now I don't know if I will be able too see tomorrow. if nt because of my mum I would have popped the pills a long time ago. I gained admission for medicine last year but our second semester result came out and I failed maths which means I will have to leave the department. it happened a month ago but I just told my dad today. and as I expected he told me that if am nt able to fix it then I should get married and leave his house or he will sell all his properties and pack out. he said it as if I wanted to fail. he has always been like this, always driving me to the edge. I don't even know y I wanted to study med in the first place, I wish I had gone for something else atleast I would have rest. I don't know wt to do with my life, ending it seems like a gud choice but my mum will be greatly affected as for my dad I would want him to feel great pains knowing that he is the reason y I did it.
he has so tormented all of us in the family if nt for the fact that he pays our school fees we would have put him in his rightful place a long time ago. he acts as if haveing us as children is his greatest mistake. he treats other people's kids as gold but us as dirt

I'm sorry the relationship with your Dad isn't great. It seems he's like this with your siblings, so at least you're not alone. I don't know how old you are, but if you cannot move out, I would suggest getting a part-time job to start saving some money for yourself. Ttry to keep a positive mindset. You will not live under his roof forever. It's likely none of you will be able to change him at this point. Many Nigerian parents have the mentality that their children must be in so-called prestigious careers, instead of nurturing them at a your age and encouraging them to follow their natural talents.

It seems medicine isn't your passion and that's okay. You're say you're not sure why you wanted to study it in the first place. It just means that there is something else you should be pursuing, as you yourself stated. If you have to leave the department, don't let that get you down. You have to do what you're truly interested in, and what you are good at. Sometimes they go hand in hand: if you're interested in something most likely you will be good at it, and vice versa.

So, what "something else" would you like to do with your life? What do you aspire to be?

Create your own path. The most successful people out there are successful because they're following their passion. Make a list of what you're good at and what you love doing, see if your can tie them to a course at your school; pursue this and you will succeed.

1 Like

Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Hysmady(m): 9:22am On Nov 15, 2015
My so called Stepmother is a Christian and calls herself a prophetess....Shes so harsh and wicked to the extent that if an infant sight her,the infant will cry...She has the gut to chase away my late mom relatives yesterday angry She will never see joy,hapiness,mercy,light,progression,fruit of labour and every good things in her life...AMEN...To the extent that I found out she has charmed and hynotised my dad...My dad doesn't know what he is doing again,he has lost his reputation, respect even his own family, he has turn down on them...The woman is so ungrateful ,and she calls her self a prophetess undecided ...Am my dad first son and child with two siblings which are girls in which one of them is still young...Am just confused and need serious advice cus am thinking after my final year, I want to leave my father s house cus of the frustration and I feel my dad has lost everything and has nothing to offer me either as a first son bcus this woman has gone extremely deep into him....i even recently found out my dad sold one of his property without even informing me...I just look up to God right now even no family has no help to offer...Am on my own....Everything was not like this when my mom was demised even after till the day this woman entered our house....Infact I cant type everything in my mind or else it will be extremely long...I need best advice for myself...thank you
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by yoksy(f): 9:41am On Nov 15, 2015
Generals03:




Do you suspect he might be suffering from depression?

Has his health affected his finances? If yes, who buys stuff and takes care of his responsibilities in the house?

Has he ever used a viagra with you before? Do you suspect his Manhood no longer rises effectively?

These are serious issues because your hubby may be going through some emotional trauma he is not willing to let you of.
If his health has affected his thing and it isnt functioning effectively, he may be ashamed to make you aware, and he resorts to testing the thing with some one else.

Please answer the above questions. Be sure it is not depression. If it is, then its a serious matter.

he still gets his monthly pay cos it's a federal work he is doin though he is not as strong as he use to be. y must he b depressed am always encouraging him n letting him know am fine thou sex is very important but being happy is more.
Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by Nobody: 2:07pm On Nov 15, 2015
curtains:
I just googled how to commit suicide before I came here. I have snipper in my house I hv bin thinking of taking it, at least it's painless... my husband cheated on me by fulfilling his thre3 some fantasy tears hv not stoped flowing from my eyes. I wish I can tell my mum so she can talk me out of it... my heavy n broken heart will kill me even if I don't take that snipper

Dear Curtains, I hope peeps here can talk you out of it. Why do you want to commit suicide? What will your suicide achieve? we are not sure what happens if you commit suicide so we can't know if the pain will end or not we just know for a fact that you will leave this realm.

So I encourage you to use the sniper to kill the roaches and rats not your important self. Since you are alive you must have something to contribute to someone your children and even your husband.

You are not alive because of him, you are not even alive because of your children. You are alive because of you. You were doing fine before you met him and were he to drop dead or run away you will live so how has he because of some years of marriage become the reason for your existence.

I think it's ok to talk to your mum or a counselor who can empathize with your pain until you get to a better place. You don't have to handle the pain on your own it's ok to breakdown it's not ok to take your own life because of his actions.

2 Likes

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