MrsPhyno:

Who is the him? I don't prevent; its ultimately his choice.
If he chooses to sin and break his vows to God., his wife and his family, thats nobodies fault but his own

Fhemmmy:


[b]I can see you are not getting it . . . . do you read part of the write up where was mentioned that the wife smells of garlic and onion? do you read the part that says the wife was too tired from all the wahala of the weekend and tell the man off, or maybe you didn't read the part where it says the woman was even depressed from the time she realize only one more day left in the weekend after all the wahala . . . . or wait a minute, please read again where she said that the woman just lie down there with the man just doing his own thing.

Now again, like i mentioned earlier, the ladies needs to stop accepting wishy washy in their relationship, before the exchange of vows, make sure there are serious talk on how the chores of the house should and would be handled and don't wait till after the wedding (after you have been washing and cooking and worshiping the man) to now wanna lay down some rules.

If serious talk were made before the exchange of vows and they both make the work easier and have fun together, it will be lots easier to curb cheating than leaving it to God.[/b]

feeekey:
Is there really a perfect solution to ds side chick thingy? BTW ds is a perfect description of how hubbys relate with 'em may God av mercy.anyone dat has d slution shld share jus so everyone can learn

RiloKiley:
Ballet classes? Violins? Seychelles?



Very interesting writeup though, I was hooked from the start. However I think this lady's envious imagination ran off with her on some points. A man doesn't have that much time for a side chick to be that romantically involved.

Great read though.

Fhemmmy:


[b]I can see you are not getting it . . . . do you read part of the write up where was mentioned that the wife smells of garlic and onion? do you read the part that says the wife was too tired from all the wahala of the weekend and tell the man off, or maybe you didn't read the part where it says the woman was even depressed from the time she realize only one more day left in the weekend after all the wahala . . . . or wait a minute, please read again where she said that the woman just lie down there with the man just doing his own thing.

Now again, like i mentioned earlier, the ladies needs to stop accepting wishy washy in their relationship, before the exchange of vows, make sure there are serious talk on how the chores of the house should and would be handled and don't wait till after the wedding (after you have been washing and cooking and worshiping the man) to now wanna lay down some rules.

If serious talk were made before the exchange of vows and they both make the work easier and have fun together, it will be lots easier to curb cheating than leaving it to God.[/b]

Babacele:
yea like a booklet ...... hmmm but it captures d plight of so many women. Why would my yesterangels/baby/sweetheart/darlings suddenly go stale today? It baffles me for real. what power has skimpy skirts ,sophisticated young looks n sex siren postures to steal us from our supposedly soulmates? somebody please tell me.

MrsPhyno:

I get what ur saying but I'm saying that none of those are good enough excuses for the guy to cheat. Because she's tired or smells like garlic like which Kain rubbish.....

So its still 100% the dudes fault and curbing cheating is not the wife's rresponsibility. She doesn't cheat, she has kept her promise. He cheats, he broke his promise and is a dirty liar finish. Self control is key, just because she smells like garlic doesn't mean he should go outside . that's why he has a mouth, so he can talk about it, instead of becoming an irresponsible scoundrel

andromida:


Is it so hard to talk to her about the garlic smell and other stuff?

babysophie:
All sagging boobs wre once erect n all standing boobs wil fall someday. Someday d side chick wil also b a wife.

babysophie:
All sagging boobs wre once erect n all standing boobs wil fall someday. Someday d side chick wil also b a wife.

Babacele:
that is correct Sophie, absolutely.

Babacele:
correct Sophie, absolutely. but there is no 1 answer to the provocations that this topic elicits when history, religion, culture and human dynamics are involved. Different folks will engage different strokes but I d subscribe to the spirit n content of the contract between the marital parties ab initio . I'm still learning, though.

tearoses:
that isnt a side chick o!
The man is long gone
only God can bring this one back home

Anyway let me rant about hair nets
I think they are the most unsexy thing invented
To what effect
Hubby sees you in hair net every night
yet oga in the office sees your nice hair everyday
let the hair be messed up jare

Fhemmmy:


Not all women are easy to talk to . . . . . So let the woman too do all those things she did that made the man to commit to her, you wanna tell me if you go on a date with the man before you marry and you know you smell of garlic and onion, you wont take care of it before he picks you up for the date?

In one word, what works during dating will always and forever work . . . . . if you use to turn his head with acrobatic hoochie coochie, why stop now all in the name of "We are already married" while in the marriage is even when you need to learn more and profitable moves that will make the man wanna run home after work.

The woman needs to make herself a later of discovery that the more the husband think he knows, the more he discovers.

tearoses:
that isnt a side chick o!
The man is long gone
only God can bring this one back home
Big joe has been very busy
The annoying thing is that when the man is old, sick, haggard & fagged out and the side chicks have all run away, its the wife who will be left to look after him
It is well.

Anyway let me rant about hair nets
I think they are the most unsexy thing invented
To what effect
Hubby sees you in hair net every night
yet oga in the office sees your nice hair everyday
let the hair be messed up jare

montezz:

I get the point you are coming from.....I hope you know dating and marriage(parenting) is totally different. She can be up and doing while dating him because the kids aint the picture. What the writer wrote in the article shows the woman is a very busy type(could be a full housewife/career type). Why can't the man help out with the kids? What happens to the lovey dovey they played in the bath tub while dating? Can't he playfully lead her to the bathroom and wash the'onion and garlic odor' off her body and give her the hot and crazy sex he gives the side chick. Marriage involves two people and both should strive to make things work..not some guy running outta his home,touring a 'sophisticated wanton' around the city. Some women are hard to talk to...I agree. But the man in the op's post never made a move to improve the relationship till he got caught.

Fhemmmy:


I totally agree with you BUT that was why i said many discussion ought to take place before wedding night . . . .Such as:
1. Would they have to hire assistance to help
2. What could be the man's duty from all the home chores
3. Date nights
And so one . . . .Once all that is agreed on and the man breaks them, it will be easier to talk to the man and let him retrace his steps but when a woman while dating the man washes his clothes, go to his house and cook for him and do all chores for him while the man and his friends just sit and watch soccer, then dont expect much after the "I DO"

montezz:

You are absolutely right!
Some men are bound to cheat even when everything you listed above is in place. Marriage is just so complicated and it scares me to the bone.

Fhemmmy:


Agreed and that was why i said earlier that, as the woman do your part so as for the man that would cheat not to see you as a reason why you did . . . . Same goes for the man not to allow the woman to point fingers at him as reason why she cheated. . . .

MrsPhyno:
The person who wrote this is talented ........

Men that cheat need to be castrated

profneyo:


Castrated loun loun

Fhemmmy:


The wife over-worked herself and who is to be blamed for that? I have told ladies that "Dont entertain what you wont in a marriage while you are dating, put all coins in the table and both have a serious talk before you say "I DO"" but most ladies wanna just marry by fire by fire and hope to change the man once you become his Mrs.

MrsPhyno:

no chill abi

profneyo:


None whatsoever

Go and sleep. Mr. Phyno is keeping that spot warm for you.

bukatyne:


You cannot compare the responibilities in dating to marriage na especially when kids start coming although I agree that a lot of people do not necessarily go deep during courtship.

I think the cultural belief that a woman is solely responsible for building the home while the husband is a sleeping financial partner (never mind that women contribute a lot financially to the home) is a very serious problem.

Rather than look for the next lady to cheat with, why doesn't the husband in the OP really drill down and look for a permanent solution to the problem?

OK, wifey doesn't have time for him because she is overworked/ cannot prioritize/ lays too much emphasis on mundane tasks/ cannot multitask etc.

What is the solution? Take the kids to school myself/get a maid/clean up immediately/ help her prioritize/ pick up some/more chores/ teach her how to delegate etc.

To what end? Spending more time together and having more quality time/sex/discussions together etc.

Yes, some women are Jezebels however how many women will you tell.... Babe, I noticed we don't spend much time together in bed/watching a movie/to talk etc. due to chores and the kids. I am thinking we should stop/I pick up etc. that they will not appreciate?

If he spends half the time he used in courting and nurturing the relationship with his side babe to nourish his marriage, don't you think it would blossom more?

IMHO, anyone who under the guise of 'my spouse is not meeting my needs' cheat is indirectly saying I am no longer interested in this marriage because cheating never solves any problem

I just watched Dumebi and Bitter leaf Cynthia which buttresses my point.

Dumebi wanted above all her husbandman's love and admiration and went about it in funny ways.

Instead of her husband to channel her need into good, he was ready to throw the towel and cheat

Not very Frank will be fortunate enough to meet a reformed Cynthia to do his work; often times, he has to do his work himself.

tearoses:
Many times its just an excuse for an affair
some men with beautiful wives still have affairs

Looking after kids and raising a family is not easy
And if the husband does not help with any chores then the wife is left to do everything
Then you get some husbands who even though don't help at all in the house still refuse any house helps
there are only 24 hours in a day and the woman is exhausted
Ive seen where the woman is up before 5am bathing kids and cooking packed lunch while hubby is snoring in bed
he gets more sleep than she does
How wont she age and look haggard?
If you want your wife to be looking lovely and sexy all the time, then provide a conducive environment and make her happy
inu didun lo mara ya

Family planning is also important
Some people say they want to have all their kids while they are young
if you have 4 kids under age 6 then you should expect your wife to be tired unless she is Victoria Beckham.

bukatyne:


You cannot compare the responibilities in dating to marriage na especially when kids start coming although I agree that a lot of people do not necessarily go deep during courtship.

I think the cultural belief that a woman is solely responsible for building the home while the husband is a sleeping financial partner (never mind that women contribute a lot financially to the home) is a very serious problem.

Rather than look for the next lady to cheat with, why doesn't the husband in the OP really drill down and look for a permanent solution to the problem?

OK, wifey doesn't have time for him because she is overworked/ cannot prioritize/ lays too much emphasis on mundane tasks/ cannot multitask etc.

What is the solution? Take the kids to school myself/get a maid/clean up immediately/ help her prioritize/ pick up some/more chores/ teach her how to delegate etc.

To what end? Spending more time together and having more quality time/sex/discussions together etc.

Yes, some women are Jezebels however how many women will you tell.... Babe, I noticed we don't spend much time together in bed/watching a movie/to talk etc. due to chores and the kids. I am thinking we should stop/I pick up etc. that they will not appreciate?

If he spends half the time he used in courting and nurturing the relationship with his side babe to nourish his marriage, don't you think it would blossom more?

IMHO, anyone who under the guise of 'my spouse is not meeting my needs' cheat is indirectly saying I am no longer interested in this marriage because cheating never solves any problem

I just watched Dumebi and Bitter leaf Cynthia which buttresses my point.

Dumebi wanted above all her husbandman's love and admiration and went about it in funny ways.

Instead of her husband to channel her need into good, he was ready to throw the towel and cheat

Not very Frank will be fortunate enough to meet a reformed Cynthia to do his work; often times, he has to do his work himself.