sometimes when I read some stories, I would be wondering if its real. Meet a strong men of God for her deliverance. She need help.
the Story funny smh

Dear sir....i took time to read posts without skiping any line.......wit all ds points u raised....hw r u sure dat u r still into d marriage at ur will via d juju?......u r still alive cos of one tin or cos of she needs sm1 called husband......d evil she did is still disturbng her ....God can forgve easily bt nature doesnt.....be wise n take ur heed......numerous threat to life for no reason is nt funny......i knw u r afraid as per startng all over bt is beta late dan late ......be wise sir

Tallesty1:
You don't value your life bro

Tell him.
Imagine wen babes full everywhere, dey go mountain dey fast and pray for husband. Dis one dey show herself.
My guy life no get duplicate o. Maybe she dey give u crazy sex or e get d side wen she for hold u. Hmmmmm u beta run ooo. Woman wen make dem sack u for work.
Deny u of ur means of livelihood,threaten to stab you ,does voodoo and everything negative . u come here come still dey ask? No stay. Wait make she use gamaline cook for u ,then u go post on nairaland from grave ask us wetin to do.
Stay dey bear am ooo . oponu

MathsChic:

Madam. there is no need to get all excited and angry. If you want to think like "most people" you are most welcome to do that.
Yes, as you have rightly observed the marriage is not working and it would be best to advise the man from that perspective, not immediately crucify a woman whose side of the story you have not heard. I bet you have no idea how this would have played out if it was a woman saying the same thing about her husband, have you?. Many of the testosterone-driven posts here would most probably have taken sides with a man whose story they haven't heard.

When a person calls 911, to lodge a complaint of being followed or being threatened, why does the police respond first to the immediate danger? Why not wait and hear from the other party? Nothing wrong in thinking like most people when it comes to the preservation and wellbeing of a human. I don't care what naira land men would have said assuming it was woman at the receiving end, neither can that cloud my reasoning in this matter.
What is wrong is wrong. And if it was a woman or a child who came to say what this op has said, my conscience behooves me to seek their wellbeing and safety first, before any other thing.

I am speechless- I read through the whole story.
If the Op were my brother I would have done the unthinkable to that woman.
How can a so called church sister be so heartless, and the pastor is still saying rubbish.
@Op if you don't love your life remain there, forget your parents and her parents pleas and get out fast.
Divorce her before 2016, she doesn't deserve you.
I am so pissed right now.

I've only seen this in Africa magic. I don't know it really happens in real life. I don't know if you have been told this by fellow nairalanders because of the length of this thread. Divorce her immediately and go for HIV test. You said it yourself that she was into adultery and she had sex (unprotected, I think). She may have got STDs.

Another minute in that marriage means that you don't care about your life. She will kill you, it is just a matter of time. RUN, I say RUN for your life.

Lastly, I really sympathise with you and also annoy... You stayed till you lost your job, dignity, sanity, esteem etc. Now you want to wait till you lose your life. once again, RUN.

stonecoldcafe:


I couldn't help but click on your friend's facebook memorial page out of curiosity. Please tell me his family did something concerning his demise. Tell me the woman is cooling off her heels in jail.

This domestic abuse thing is not just for women but men too. Just the way we tell a woman to leave a physically abusive home and protect herself, its the same advice we must give to the man as well. No double standards. Life is precious and we only have one life to live. RIP to your friend.

I believe op is under some sort of spell but the fact he can open this thread shows his spirit has begun to rebel against his current situation. What I don't understand is why his immediate family cannot lift him from this pit. Why is his immediate family leading him back to the marriage like a sheep to the slaughter house? OP please whatever you do, you must take God serious after leaving that woman. She is the type that WILL throw spiritual arrows your way. You must be prepared to continue fighting the good fight of faith. Don't slack and say at least i've left her, you must turn pastor ontop this your issue. All the best.

[s]God knows if you are my brother, you would have left that home long ago.[/s]

his was a complicated case, a part of his family wanted her to pay the other part wanted her to go free. She was arrested and charged but was later released under unexplained circumstances....

My brother no divorce after marriage if heaven is your goal, the best thing you can do to be prayerful and move closer to God, no Divorce after marriage. Dis will be a lesson for all single that they should pray before choosing.

As a married woman,I won't advice you to continue with the marriage,you have sacrificed more than enough,ur job,money,clothes,car,e.t.c.As someone said earlier,you need to get closer to God,let God direct ur next step.It is well with you.

lolaluv1:


When a person calls 911, to lodge a complaint of being followed or being threatened, why does the police respond first to the immediate danger? Why not wait and hear from the other party? Nothing wrong in thinking like most people when it comes to the preservation and wellbeing of a human. I don't care what naira land men would have said assuming it was woman at the receiving end, neither can that cloud my reasoning in this matter.
What is wrong is wrong. And if it was a woman or a child who came to say what this op has said, my conscience behooves me to seek their wellbeing and safety first, before any other thing.

First, you are not the police. Neither is anyone on Nairaland.
Second, shouldn't care more that you haven't heard from the other party and are only drawing your conclusions from one side of the story?
You clearly don't get it. I have no other words for you.

samocholi:

Greetings to u all,please I need a candid advise because am fed up and confused at same time.It all started in 2011 when I met my wife through my collegue in the bank. I used to work in operations and hardly have time to truly search for a wife that is what I thought back then.so I had this collegue of mind who appears responsible and is also a church worker in a responsible church,not all these money making churchs.so I confided in him , so one day he came to me that he has this lady where he normally goes to worship atimes that he will take me to meet her ,that she is God fearing ,a church worker and her father is a pastor in one of the northern states,which he did and introduced us and gradually we started dating,


I even took her to see my parent.to their amazement she woke up around 4am and swept and cleaned the house before we could even wake up for morning prayers.when my Dad saw this he was really please and was like this truly is wife material.but my Mum was like don’t conclude oh as per girls of nowadays that we should keep praying.at first I wanted us to do our traditional marriage in April 2012 and after that white wedding but she started indirectly pressuring me that we should do trad in August and white in November,2011.i thot about it,and with my naïve mind said to myself that since she seems nice and am ready to marry.


I agreed and we got married in 2011.we did both court and church marriage.immediatly we came back from honey moon my life has been one hell of a life or another.it began when my former collegue in the bank sent her sister to bring her cv to me incase we are recruiting so that I can submit for her.so the lady called later to thank me for the assistance and my wife was with me in the sitting room.it was around 7-8pm.after the call my wife started quarreling,that who is that lady calling me that am cheating on her,she went inside the room and brought out our wedding cert.that she will tear it and that we should go our separate ways.i became shocked ,I then told her that she can take the lady’s number or I can call the lady in her presence.that I don’t even know the lady. I did not even have the lady number in my phone,the lady collected my number to follow up and that is all.



I left her with my phones and entered the room.this was happening barely a month and a half after our wedding.as the days go by she started bringing different quarrels and problem.after like a year two month into the marriage,one faithful Friday night after I came back from work and I was fast asleep she woke me up around 11pm that we should talk.and I told her that if we can leave it till morning knowing fully well that the next day was satuday unless if the matter is btw life and death then I can wait.she said it is not btw life and death and was insisting that we talk before I knew it she brought out a knife and wanted to stab me so I manage to collect the knife and threw it into the wordrobe.


By then the sleep in my eyes cleared immediately and I was like what is the matter what is wrong or what wrong have I done to her,my people up till tofday she has not given me an answer.so she stood there speechless so I assume all is well then as I was going tom bed she took one of her high heel and struck me behind my head I fell down and went blank.after a while I woke up and saw her looking at me.so I got up and entered my car with blood all over me to her uncle’s house and showed them and told them what happened.before I continue we live in Abj,so the uncle called her parent and her mum came to Abj the next day.before then I had written and taken my divorce letter to the pastor that am not doing again.


After that the pastor and her people intervened and talked to her. I went to that my colleague that introduced her to me that what does he know about her that I may not know so he said she told him in confidence that she was in cult in the university and that her boyfriend then was the capon.she also told him that the boy friend was shot in school then and died in her arms.when I confronted her she down played everything and wanted to pick a quarrel,so that one died down.


Before I continue,am a banker ,and my wife has a boutique that she sells men wears in Abj. She hardly laughs but b4 we got married she was always laughing.i havs severally asked her what the matter is but she will say it is nothing. Before now I did not know that my wife is a runs girl,after our baby’s birth in Dec 2012 my wife went and did family planning without my consent,it was in the evening when the stuf started disturbing her that I got to know. In August last year that is 2014,I was watching news when she came back by 9:30pm,she started making it a habit of coming late in 2014 and that has caused serious quarrel btw us. So when she came in she droped her phone on the center table and went inside to take her shower.as I was watching the television I now said let me go through her gallery because she likes taking pictures.after that I now checked her messages.i was shocked what I saw.

She sent a text to a married man,saying that she cursed him with the sperm he pured inside her and the man said it was mutual that she is the one came to his house to collect money for the shoes and shirts he bought,he also said he will curse her with his children’s life that she is not the only one that has a child and insisted that it was mutual.at that point my hands started shaking and before I know I she jumped out of the bathroom with soap on her body to take her phone.immediatly she came to the sitting room and saw me with her phone she frozed for like 15seconds not knowing what to say after that I asked her who is the man and she said that I was one of her friends from owerri that used her phone to chat the man.

when I checked the chat history it was not just one day chat it spans four days becos the chat was very lengthy. So I was pissed off, I reported the issue to the pastor where we got married and he down play it that she cannot do such a thing..
My wife has quarreled with all my neighbours in my compound of 8 flat,she has also quarreled with our security guards at the gate to the extent that they have refused to wash her car.On 25 of dec 2014 after returning from the church my wife spreed her cloth under the sun and my neighbour’s puppy came and played with the cloth and tore part of it.the next day she went to tell then but she did not grt a good response so she went behind and boiled hot water and pured on the puppy. My neighbor’s wife went and call police for her the next day being Sunday.but their aim is to keep her in cell till Monday to teach her a lesson.unknown to them my uncle is a top police officer so I called him and we were able to bail her putting Monday date.since then small thing my wife will start saying things that she is suspecting me , that am having am affair.i now told her how,she now said a man that does not drink alcohol and does not smoke will surely womanise.i then asure her that I have done nothing of such.and truly since I married her four years ago I have never looked at any woman aside her.

To cut a long stry short,February this year as usual during valentine I to her to a shop and asked her to pick whatever she wants.then she picked cloths and shoes worth 70k and I paid. After that February ending I usually give her 50k for upkeep so tha day I had keep the 50k but there was a plumbing problem that I had to take 5k out of it to solve so I gave her 45k promising to bring the balance home or I credit her,and that faithful morning we were having a meeting in which a top official is coming from head office and my head of operations was nor around so I was sitting in for her.

so I asked my wife to help me take our daughter to sch that day as I have to rush to the office b4 time. After giving my wife the 45k she threw it on the floor that it is not enough and started insulting me that what kind of useless job is that ,unknown to me she had gone and locked the entrance door and taken the key,as I was about to go out I discovered that the door was lock,so I called her aunte to talk to her,as she was on the phone with the aunt I went through the back door. As I was about to drive out I saw my wife rushing to close the gate with only pant and singlet,I mean pant and singlet not bump hort or rapper.i was surprise,but before she could close the gate I had already passed she now took a big stone and stared running after the car.
she threw the stone at my suv ,it sounded like a bomb very loud.at first I did not know what happened untill I saw her running towards the car so I stoped,she now came held my side mirrow and started breaking it so I had to drive off. I was devasted and could not make it to work,so I called someone in the office that I won’st be able to make it to the office that am having some issues at home.


She went back to the house and called my Dad that if I come back she will kill me.so my Dad called me and I explained to him immediately what happened. so he said I should not go back home that day, I went and slept in a hotel In town .so the next day her mum came and I went home.Now it is not that am afraid of her but because I respect women and will not want to beat ofr fight her,I am far biger and taller than her if I decide to cough she will vanish so is not that am afraid of her am only respecting the marriage institution. When I got home the second day to resume work the third day I discovered that she had tore all my cloths,my shirt both office and casuals,all my suit including my wedding suit,.so I had nothing to wear the next day.so I missed work wednesdy,Thursday and Friday,during all these happening I have been in touch with my office and told them am having some family issues and could not make it to work.



I resumed the next Monday to work and everything seem to be going well, then on Tuesday I got a sack letter from human resources of the bank.unkonwn to me. the new manager that was posted to my branch got a querry for myself and the head of operations not being around for the initial meeting. so he was angry and he wrote to the bank’s human resources and when they checked that I was not logged on for the three days I was sacked,all because of my wife.most times she sends abusive texts messages to me while in the office.For instance if am attending to customers and she is calling and I did not pick on time she will now send a nasty text that I delibertly don”t want to pick her calls.i have even told her to come and see how we work in my office.so since march am yet to get any serious thing to do.
I January I had 2.5m I paid our rent 1m and part pay for a land 1m and the remaining 500k lasted us from march till june.as usual with banks I was not paid anything.so when my savings finished in june the major financial burden fell on her,with little coming from me now.Since then my wife has made my life a living hell with all sorts of insult. For example in November,there was nothing in the house so she went to southern fries and bought rice and chicken for herself,then bought a watery oha soup with out meat that I should make garri and eat with it.it was when I wanted to microwave it that I discovered that it was watery and has no meat.i did not say anything.


Most times I stay back at home unless I have an appointment or an interview just not to spend unnecessary .so I was checking one of the cupboard in our room and I saw somethings she got from a native doctor,they include a bottle of concosion with the label witches and wizards destroying oil,the second one was two of her bathing soap with burnt candle on it when I looked at the soap closely I saw small cross buried inside,the third thing I saw was the complimentary card of the native doctor.All these things I just mentioned are real and I have their pictures that I snapped.i picked them and went to her uncle’S place to show him and he was mad,he immediately called her parent to come to Abj immediately and I called my parent to come becos I told them I don’t want the marriage again. Both parties came and the meeting lasted from 5pm to 12 mid nite and continued again the next day.

she could not defend her sellf and I said am not doing again and everyone started beging that I should give her one more chance.and it seems the issues was resolved.i started my investigation and discovered that unknown to me my wife is a runs girl even b4 I married her and after marriage she continued .that is why she went and did family planning without my knowledge so that she can be sleeping with me with out condom.and this days she dresses sugestivly.i have reported to the pastor ,her parent about her dressing but she has not changed.presently she is fighting with a lady in her former church the lady is a leader in the church.she said the lady has been attacking her in the dream and anytime they lady sees her the lady calls her prostitute.She told me that the lady is sleeping with her pastor.My wife has bad mouth and insult at every provocation,she hadly laughs always moody but when some kind of men call her she will be laughing as if tomorrow no dey.

Today being Christmas as we were preparing to go to church,she was noW feeding our daughter who just turned 3 last week.becos the baby was being slow to eat she started shouting that if the baby does not eat quikly that she will injure her.when I heard that I came and told her that such statement to a baby is not good,I have cautioned her severally not to be telling the baby that she will injure her.because there was a day I was playing with our baby and the baby was telling me that she will injure me.so becos of that I cautioned her.that was all,instead of her to take corrections she started insulting me.that am useless,that the whole burden is on her that she regrets marrying me.that she will surprise me one of these days.


My dear brothers and sisters in the house especially the married ones I frankly need ur candid advise as I am tired of her ,her bad and unrepentant character and her evil ways but am only looking at the term Christian marriage in terms of divorce as I ultimately want to make heaven just as every one.

Thank u for taking ur time to go through my ordeal.

With the kind of friend you have, you don't need enemies. I'll advise you to discard that thing you call a wife.

MathsChic:

First, you are not the police. Neither is anyone on Nairaland.
Second, shouldn't care more that you haven't heard from the other party and are only drawing your conclusions from one side of the story?
You clearly don't get it. I have no other words for you.

Just as you are not a judge of the law. And clearly not in the position to tell me or anyone what to care about.

Aaaaand I don't wish to 'get' whatever it is you're trying to justify.
Bye!!

OP..
Leave the marriage and take your daughter with you.
Use this last few days of 2015 to make plans.

Act like everything is normal o.. Don't even let her have any vague idea of whatchu up to. Check for a nice self contained apartment in a safe and secure place. Rent it,furnish it and prepare to move in. Before doing that,meet a lawyer and draft a divorce letter. Do not involve any pastor,friend or umunna. I repeat,DO NOT INVOLVE ANY PASTOR,FRIEND OR UMUNNA.

Change your sim.
Look for a secure school for your child.
Sell your car and buy a smaller and less expensive one..
Covertly move your credentials,clothes and any other essential thing to the new pad.
One fine day,take yer child and get the hell outta that contaminated house. Remember to destroy the old sim.
A day or two after leaving,make sure she gets the divorce letter.
May heaven guide you from that point..

Omg!i rily dnt knw wat to say,take ur child n run for ur dear life o!Run o

OP, I really sympathize with u, bad marriage is worst thing after hell fire, you married a devil not wife...u need to divorce her asap!

Seamareggae:

O bobby... This one don comot 4 advice.. Enter insult naaa

i know.....but its too painfull and annoying,even if its not my palava.....he is about to killed,and he is still there...ahn ahn

hi

queenfav:
They are divorced now o.The woman was a real terrorist.On some occasions,when they have issues at night she would start using spoon to hit stainless plates and bowls,telling him he won't sleep in peace.The man would go to his car,wind up the windows ,turn on the AC and sleep there till dawn.When I asked him how they met,he said they dated for 5 months and got married when she became pregnant.Things are happening in this country bro,that's y this op's story is not surprising to me.One has to be prayerful and discerning when getting married.

Oga. Na when you die u go get sense? Stay there na and look for advise. That girl go kill you troway. Abeg leave the witch alone. Take your daughter and leave. I don't even know if that girl us your daughter. From your story, she can plant pregnancy on your head.
Secretly find out if that girl is yours before taking action. Leave that girl now.

U seem not to love ur dear life. That is d simple message. Ur so called family or other relatives don't like or wish u alive , d pastor too is ... Nothing but a deceiver if all ds ur story is a true one. U are dead already bros because she has rendered u USELESS . My prayer is that God will revive and restore u and all that the devil has stolen from u. Finally pls and pls run for ur dear life and engage urself in a serious prayer because ONLY GOD can see u tru. U are already in a great mess. But God will set u free. Ur story make me cry and know more about this endtime woman on earth. A word s enough for the wise.

zicoraads:

I only earn 50k
Besides, it's Christmas...only stingy people don't prepare nothing this period

50k is enough na . At least 15% don solve am.

Is this african magic or a real life story
Marriage they say is 4-better-4worst. But in this case, your life is at risk. The only thing you have now is your life and your daughter.
My advice now is that you should run for your life; physically and spiritually.

#pls, run faster than usern bolt.

Though am not yet married but I advice u leave that woman for ur dear life,cuz the next thing is dead.

Though am not yet married but I advice u leave that woman for ur dear life,cuz the next thing is dead

Since divorce isn't an option, the best option is seperation and take custody of your daughter. Since you said you have evidences of her irresponsible activities I believe if well proven the court will grant you custody of the child. You need to get back your life back.
Selecting a spouse is more spiritual than physical. How many of us pray for our wife to be even when we don't know them yet.

samocholi:

Greetings to u all,please I need a candid advise because am fed up and confused at same time.It all started in 2011 when I met my wife through my collegue in the bank..........

What the f*uck is wrong with you?! Do you've a f*ucking mental issue or were you f*ucking born re*tarded? Why did you allow such evil person to ruin your life in the name of f*ucking "religious marriage institution"?

That evil woman you called your wife did the following to you. She;

- beat the sh*it out of you
- does prostitution while accusing you of infidelity (worse hypocrite ever).
- nearly killed a neighbor's dog with hot water (a heartless act),
- creates unnecessary problems at home.
- pursued you half n*ude in public.
- stoned your car.
- insults you whenever and wherever she wants.
- threatened you with a knife.
- threatened to kill you many times.
- threatens and maltreats her own baby in your f*ucking face.
- forced you from going to work over nothing!
- rendered you jobless (You f*ucked with your job).
- engages in cult activities.
- is selfish and greedy.
- has problem with everyone
- makes your f*ucking life a living hell.
And many more...

You f*ucked up from the beginning. Asking someone to get you a wife was a terrible decision and the beginning of your problem. How could you "not have time" to find yourself a woman but had time for marriage? Doesn't make sense at all!

As if asking someone to get you a wife wasn't bad enough, you still didn't even investigate the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, to at least know who she was. How could someone be so st*upid?

The day she threatened you with a knife, should have been the day the marriage ended! But you didn't end it. You found out she's a full-blown prostitute and yet you didn't end it. You found out she's a cultist and yet again you didn't end it. She chased you outside butt-n*aked and smashed your car with a rock, and yet again you didn't end it. She knocked you out and you lay there unconscious and bleeding while she stared at you (very creepy) and yet the dead-brain husband woke up and didn't end it. The woman has done creepy and dangerous things to you and the next thing that remains is to finally kill you.

What you've in your home is not a wife, it's something very evil and can end your life. Send her packing now if you really want to live. After you get rid of her, lick your wound and move on with your life.

The extended family of that woman should send her to a psychiatrist hospital as soon as possible before she kills someone.

Marriage is a serious stuff that shouldn't be played with. The person you marry can either make you happy or ruin your life, that's why it's always very important to investigate the person and have a long courtship, to be sure if the person is the right person for you, before you tie the knot. Never marry someone you don't really know very well.

My wife and I courted for four years before we tied the knot. We've be married for 15yrs now and still going strong. I'm a very happy husband and my wife is the happiest wife on earth. Not that we don't quarrel at all, we do but we handle it well, silently, with utmost respect for each other and resolve the issue immediately. We help and support each other. We don't have any infidelity crap issue because we trust each other and communicate well with great mutual understanding. That's how a good marriage should be.

Chuksyno:
You have summarized it all with serious points. His approach to the whole mess is rather ill-timed. It's good to be man enough and know the right thing to do at the right time.

One salient fact about this whole marriage thing is that the crowning intelligence of any man shows in the nature of partner he ends up with in marriage. So someone can easily look at your partner and calls you either a fool or a wise man. And fortunately and unfortunately, your married partner can come into your life and either make you [even] more successful or destroy your life and everything you have labored for in the past. Marriage is a very delicate thing and I wish everyone know so much and have deep knowledge and understanding before going into it. Funny thing is that once you get married, all your friends and family members pull apart and you face the music alone. So the only thing that can sustain you in it is what you already know about it else get ready to be consumed because [even] the devil is so interested in your marriage so that through it he can manifest and take charge of your home. So much to know; so much to learn my people.

kweenkong:
Women deceiving since time immemorial with church going and religion. Men and women should learn ways to test integrity and personality of there intending.

To your story your in laws are not ashamed begging and attending such mediation. I trust my people, I am on my own.

If all you have said is true I commend your patience but you made a whole lot of mistakes.

For both men and women people should learn to deal with issues decisively. It is your life and only you can take a decision. Both the pastor are not been fair to you.
From your story she is an adulteress, a quarrelsome woman, a fetish one hmmm
The only thing she has not been accused of is stealing.

Your life takes priority

True, the girl's family is shameless. I had this cousin, he is late now. He used to beat his wife and every time, they'll bring their 'ish' to my dad. One day I asked the woman if she valued her life, then it's high time she left my brother. I know nobody in my family will mediate in such meetings.

Op, I read through everything and truly cannot fathom a way out other than for you to make a turn 360°. It's increasingly looking like scenes outta Nollywood. what! Yoruba, people always say: Office l'o ma r'ehin akowe....meaning she will overcome you soon, it's just a matter of time. Bros, with whatever you can salvage from your dented integrity, self worth and esteem; Run and don't look back!.Run with urgency!

Tallesty1:
You don't value your life bro

If everything you said is true, why not leave first and leave divorce issue to be between you and God.
All those saying you should stay put, do they really feel what you are going through?

She's working towards it, and waiting for you to die before taking off with your kid and whatever she can lay her hands on.better run now that you are still alive .thank you .

Bootybuttchic:
i know.....but its too painfull and annoying,even if its not my palava.....he is about to killed,and he is still there...ahn ahn

Every man has his weak point... And he's in a mess right now...

It's not easy thoo... I pray God sees him thru..

Umm voluminous.....i beg I vex click enter my ashewo thread

donpata:
She's an adulteress. Divorce her b4 she kills u. btw, hw many days did u take to write this volume?

U wey dey find hard working, suffer head woman who will be hand washing ur clothes. U go soon fall into this type of bondage