i hope this doesn't sound stupid b4 all of u but i love mixed children, how they look but i'm sure i don't want to marry a white man. i still love my black guys but is it wrong to want to have at least one child from a white man but still not end up marrying him?

a lot of black guys have the same desire.

However, you do know raising a child isnt just about the physical features.

And if you want to have an out of wedlock child, are you financially able to support the kid on your own?

tpiah:

a lot of black guys have the same desire.

However, you do know raising a child isnt just about the physical features.

And if you want to have an out of wedlock child, are you financially able to support the kid on your own?

i would still get married so i think the financial aspect is covered up , preferabbly to a black man/nigerian but i have the desire to own at least one mixed child.

Georgette$:

i would still get married so i think the financial aspect is covered up , but i have the desire to own at least one mixed child.

So when you "marry" the Nigerian man with your biracial child are you planning on also having a black child or only parading the mixed kid as a great accomplishment?

If you in your heart of hearts want to do so go for it! Personally I don't think its wrong. Why not? People do so all the time, you are not the first person to think so neither would you be the last!

Georgette$:

i would still get married so i think the financial aspect is covered up , preferabbly to a black man/nigerian but i have the desire to own at least one mixed child.

"own"?

"trophy" kids, just like "trophy" spouses, dont always jar well.

I understand your desire since many black women like having mixed race kids. In fact, I once met a lady who had a mixed race child with no visible father either. She probably used artificial insemination and a sperm bank.

The situation just raises a little moral dilemma thats all. I'm not trying to be judgmental though.


Why dont you like the idea of marrying a white guy? Or at least letting the father have some input in his child's life?

savanaha:

So when you "marry" the Nigerian man with your biracial child are you planning on also having a black child or only parading the mixed kid as a great accomplishment?

oh yes! still have more kids that's y i emphasized on having at least "one" mixed child. i would still love all my kids equally, i just have the desire to have a mixed child not necessarily mixed children, at least one mixed child.

*Shentz*:

If you in your heart of hearts want to do so go for it! Personally I don't think its wrong. Why not? People do so all the time, you are not the first person to think so neither would you be the last!

i'm just thinking of what complications might arise

tpiah:




"own"?

"trophy" kids, just like "trophy" spouses, dont always jar well.

I understand your desire since many black women like having mixed race kids. In fact, I once met a lady who had a mixed race child with no visible father either. She probably used artificial insemination and a sperm bank.

The situation just raises a little moral dilemma thats all. I'm not trying to be judgmental though.


Why dont you like the idea of marrying a white guy? Or at least letting the father have some input in his child's life?

i understand where u r coming from. well we know love is above and conquer all things, it's possible i could end up with a white man but when i say preference, i want a black preferrably nigerian man.

u r misunderstandin the word "own", just meant like having one of mine

Georgette$:


i understand where u r coming from. well we know love is above and conquer all things, it's possible i could end up with a white man but when i say preference, i want a black preferrably nigerian man.

u r misunderstandin the word "own", just meant like having one of mine

oh, ok.


btw, are you specific about race- as in does white here also include others like hispanic, asian, etc.

tpiah:


oh, ok.


btw, are you specific about race- as in does white here also include others like hispanic, asian, etc.

no hispanic, asian, chinese lol

iice:

Chinese is Asian

yea i know was just being sarcastic there

Georgette$:

no hispanic, asian, chinese lol

so what you're actually attracted to isnt just the physical features, since many Hispanics also share those with whites.

anyway, as long as you're financially ok, it shouldnt be anyone's business, ideally.

tpiah:


so what you're actually attracted to isnt just the physical features, since many Hispanics also share those with whites.

anyway, as long as you're financially ok, it shouldnt be anyone's business, ideally.

yea, thanks. just the complications that may arise bothering me.

Georgette$:

i hope this doesn't sound stupid b4 all of u but i love mixed children, how they look but i'm sure i don't want to marry a white man. i still love my black guys but is it wrong to want to have at least one child from a white man but still not end up marrying him?

I know few Serbian dudes that can help you out.

So if you are wanting to have a mixed child with a white man for aesthetic reasons, why not go for artificial insemination? That way there is no other man involved. Also do you truly believe that if you had a biracial child and then other black children you won't have favorites? I mean it seems odd that you want atleast one mixed child but you won't. . .

some things to think about:

The one child will look differently than their other siblings, thus the child will ask about dad. Are you prepared to tell the truth or will you lie.
The other children will notice your preference for that child and might feel slighted will you over compinsate.
Do you plan to have this child before marriage to a Nigerian man?
How do you plan to overcome the cultural stigma of being a single mom?

sistawoman:

some things to think about:

The one child will look differently than their other siblings, thus the child will ask about dad. Are you prepared to tell the truth or will you lie.
The other children will notice your preference for that child and might feel slighted will you over compinsate.
Do you plan to have this child before marriage to a Nigerian man?
How do you plan to overcome the cultural stigma of being a single mom?

My point exactly!!! That child will stand out in the mix of ur kids, he/her will start asking questions, u can not love them equally, u will divide ur family. Make up ur mind, sis

sistawoman:

some things to think about:

The one child will look differently than their other siblings, thus the child will ask about dad. Are you prepared to tell the truth or will you lie.
The other children will notice your preference for that child and might feel slighted will you over compinsate.
Do you plan to have this child before marriage to a Nigerian man?
How do you plan to overcome the cultural stigma of being a single mom?

Add to that . . .

Custody warfare from the the father's side.

justwise:

My point exactly!!! That child will stand out in the mix of ur kids, he/her will start asking questions, u can not love them equally, u will divide ur family. Make up ur mind, sis

She wants a child from a Caucasian. . . . .I am not sure she said she wanted other kids from a black man.
The OP wants a child of a mixed-race without marrying the father. . . .

thread title says "want" anyway.

people's desires can change over time.

Most kids are cute regardless which race they are.

~Sauron~:

She wants a child from a Caucasian. . . . .I am not sure she said she wanted other kids from a black man.
The OP wants a child of a mixed-race without marrying the father. . . .

I still want other kids from the man I would marry, a black/nigerian man But i just want to have a mixed child at least and we all know a black/nigerian man cannot give mixed kids.

tpiah:

thread title says "want" anyway.

people's desires can change over time.

Most kids are cute regardless which race they are.

it's not really being cute that is the main reason, i just love mixed kids too.

justwise:

My point exactly!!! That child will stand out in the mix of ur kids, he/her will start asking questions, u can not love them equally, u will divide ur family. Make up ur mind, sis

We know we all have one life to live and to make the best of it, it's my desire to have a mixed child, how do i make up my mind in such?

sistawoman:

some things to think about:

The one child will look differently than their other siblings, thus the child will ask about dad. Are you prepared to tell the truth or will you lie.
The other children will notice your preference for that child and might feel slighted will you over compinsate.
Do you plan to have this child before marriage to a Nigerian man?
How do you plan to overcome the cultural stigma of being a single mom?

i don't have to lie, i would say the truth.
i plan to before marriage because i dont plan to look outside during my marriage.
i would still get married, wouldnt be a single mum.
i would love my kids equally, that's why they r all from me.

savanaha:

So if you are wanting to have a mixed child with a white man for aesthetic reasons, why not go for artificial insemination? That way there is no other man involved. Also do you truly believe that if you had a biracial child and then other black children you won't have favorites? I mean it seems odd that you want atleast one mixed child but you won't. . .

i neva even thought of this idea but thanks anyways. maybe i can't tell the future but i know i would love all my kids equally. this is just ne life to live, i've always wanted a mixed child, i don't know how wrong it seems but at the same time my preference is to marry a black/nigerian man especially.

Wonders shall never end on NL!

Just what's thrilling about having mixed kids? And what's wrong with black kids? I'd like to state the obvious that humans, tend to, in our pursuit of stupid desires, call for problems. I believe you can only do that if you don't plan on getting married, but think about the warfare with the dad.

Then, if you're getting married to a black man, Nigerian or wherever he's from, do you think the mixed kid won't stand out? Even though all of them are from you, let's get on a reality check, you can't love them the same. There's a difference between what you had a passion for and got it than what happened to you because it's natural. You had the mixed kid because it was your passion, and have the black kids because you got married and the man wants kids because he thinks you can have them. Come off the high horse that you'll love them the same --- you can tell that to the monkeys.

No matter how much you love kids, there's bound to be that favorite amongst them -- this is a fact, take it or leave it.

What becomes of your marriage when your husband finds out you're so obsessive about this mixed kids than anything else that has to do with all of you as a family? I think you want to try the life we see in movies. What if for some reasons, the kid doesn't look mixed and turns out to be all white or all black? Huh?? Think again!

However, let me make my point clear, there's nothing wrong in wanting a mixed kid. But get over the fact that it won't affect your future family --- because it always will. And when it hits, you're prone to the worst hurting.

tpiah:

a lot of black guys have the same desire.

However, you do know raising a child isnt just about the physical features.

And if you want to have an out of wedlock child, are you financially able to support the kid on your own?

I don't agree dat a lot of guys have d desire 2 have mixed kids
personally i don't have such desire
I know a lot of whites who wish 2 have pure black children .

Georgette$:

i don't have to lie, i would say the truth.

What truth will you tell the mixed race child? And what truth will you tell your black children?

i would still get married, wouldnt be a single mum.

Do you plan to get prego and married all at the same time?

i would love my kids equally, that's why they r all from me.

I will wait on your response to my first question to answer this.

Igwe, the seeker and martho, b4 you guys crucify me I AM NOT AGAINST BLACK KIDS AND WOULD STILL HAVE SOME BLACK KIDS.
I NEVER SAID I DO NOT WANT BLACK KIDS NEITHER DID I SAY I WOULD DECEIVE PEOPLE IT IS MY HUSBAND. This is just my desire to have at least one. I AM NOT OBSESSIVE ABOUT MIXED KIDS.

sistawoman:

What truth will you tell the mixed race child? And what truth will you tell your black children?

I cannot really say much becuase it is just a desire i want, not like it is or already happening but if i have to think, perhaps the truth. What of girls that got pregnant by their boyfriends but ended up breaking up, don't they still get married again? I would tell him/her, the father we are not together. How about adoption? what do those parents tell the adopted child?

[/quote]
Do you plan to get prego and married all at the same time?

Well i prefer to have the child before marriage.

[quote]

Georgette$:

I still want other kids from the man I would marry, a black/nigerian man But i just want to have a mixed child at least and we all know a black/nigerian man cannot give mixed kids.

A Nigerian man to marry a baby mother in this land of abundance??
I hope you are loaded to the hilt cos if not. . . . .that is a miscalculated gamble.