This is why u must nt marry a non virgin. Enjoy ur marriage since u and most men have decided to marry women dat sleep around and tel u virginity is nt important

Yieldings:
This is one of the reasons why people need to deal with unfinished business before getting married. If you're still harbouring feelings for an ex, before you get married get rid of them or come to the realization that the r/ship is over, and accept it. She needs to give herself closure and it starts by cutting off the communication with him. You don't need the other party's input before you can get closure. No married woman or man should be texting or calling their ex, especially if it's to talk about your r/ship with them, what happened, what didn't happen, etc. Don't look back unless you want to go back there.

the best response by a mile. I think op should be worried. I have a similar situation sometime last year. I was posted to the city where my ex family is settled now. Although over the years since separation, we normally keep in touch during special occasions such as bd, Xmas and new year. But we never talked about " us" until recently. The chat was on wassap and we both agreed that despite the fact that we are in the same area, both happily married, our spouse know about us, we won't get to see and we never attempt to meet up. The feelings were mutual so to save ourselves, we know the consequences of such meetings may be beyond our control. The wife err by discussing such intimacy with her ex and still referring to him as special and sweetheart. Op should call her to order immediately. She may not be aware of the danger she is walking into now. After all " kerekere ni imu elude wo ogba".

Smile when i read this as i have a female friend whom we used to call ourselves sweethearts in school (though we never dated).

She's married now and when we chat, like she's asking my opinion on something i am good at, she say things like;

"thanks sweetheart mi"
"thats why i love you"

For my mind, i'll be thinking; if you let your hubby go see this convo, i no dey ooo

this is serious. You beta
wake up bro

Laryne:
You need to be worried...she wouldn't mind a bleep with him; chop and clean mouth! Give yourself brain if not you go pressure her enter her ex trap...
Shay we go live long!

her ex no set any trap. Thats the way she is.

Yieldings:
This is one of the reasons why people need to deal with unfinished business before getting married. If you're still harbouring feelings for an ex, before you get married get rid of them or come to the realization that the r/ship is over, and accept it. She needs to give herself closure and it starts by cutting off the communication with him. You don't need the other party's input before you can get closure. No married woman or man should be texting or calling their ex, especially if it's to talk about your r/ship with them, what happened, what didn't happen, etc. Don't look back unless you want to go back there .

...such a comment, ending with a strong admonition, can only come from a bright mind...enough respect for the highlighted quote...

tearoses:
The fact that they are in visible contact with each other makes this more dangerous and this may go either way if not managed properly.

Therefore you need to do something

Have a chat with your wife. Explain to her what might happen between her and the ex if emotions are not kept in check and if the opportunity arises for them to be together.
Also explain to her the consequences including signalling the end of the marriage if this happens.

Dont threaten her as threatening her wont work but be firm with her that some things are not acceptable. Let her know that you love her and give her an opportunity to let you know if there is anything wrong in your relationship with her.

Keep your eyes open too but not to the point where it becomes an obsession.

Trust me cc. She would spin it as him being jealous and insecure. Someone that would send such a message has already lost respect for the husband.

Until she does the unthinkable and loses her family before her eyes would be clear. She believes the grass is greener on the other side and lives in a state of idealism. Trying to set her right would only make her resent him.

She alone can nip this in the bud and the guy should start preparing his mind for the worst.

kweenkong:
You should talk to her. She regrets a lost love.
Ask the details of the meeting not to quarrel but to work towards your marriage. Tell her the dangers of the ex, reassure her of your love. But let her if she messes up she is gone.

She met up with an ex who never had sex with her but it resurrected old feelings. Let her know the guy might not feel the same and she should think if she is willing to end her marriage for that.

Part of your duties as a husband and leader of your home is guidance. God is ur strength.

you make sense. I respect this. If she keeps thinking about her ex , how will she focus on her marriage. I wonder why some pple see nothing wrong with this

Yieldings:
This is one of the reasons why people need to deal with unfinished business before getting married. If you're still harbouring feelings for an ex, before you get married get rid of them or come to the realization that the r/ship is over, and accept it. She needs to give herself closure and it starts by cutting off the communication with him. You don't need the other party's input before you can get closure. No married woman or man should be texting or calling their ex, especially if it's to talk about your r/ship with them, what happened, what didn't happen, etc. Don't look back unless you want to go back there.

that temptation of taking a last bite though

jayAjoku:
you strike me as a free spirited, do what you want girl ...........










.... i like that

Thanks for the compliments...

I think she is bored, so check your self my guy...

theyrynsolar:


You are suppose to be locked up in a zoo for Ten months for this stupid talk coming from you... What happened to the part where she said she is happy in her marriage... Or which part of the text depict she wanna have a fling with the guy... Oga Laryne be guided ooo

You no want eat meat but you use your teeth dey share am for children. Dearie some meaning are clearly implied and too obvious.

lakamua:
This is why u must nt marry a non virgin. Enjoy ur marriage since u and most men have decided to marry women dat sleep around and tel u virginity is nt important

...some truths are hard to hear and much difficult to understand and such a truth is what you have just said...in the case of the OP's wife, if she's still bonded to her ex, it won't be long before an 's' sneaks into the 'ex'...irrespective of what measures the OP puts in place...

Bisjosh:
Op just calm down

We all(male and female) always will remember that special someone. Doesn't mean she would cheat on u


Do u also always tell her about everyone u meet?

true talk

Nnemuka:
well even if i get married tomorrow, some part of me will never forget a particular ex especially his skills and the fact that he is my first.

see this one again oooooo. how old are you first?

Laryne:

You no want eat meat but you use your teeth dey share am for children. Dearie some meaning are clearly implied and too obvious.

Ayaff collect your own if you don't collect mine

efficiencie:


...some truths are hard to hear and much difficult to understand and such a truth is what you have just said...in the case of the OP's wife, if she's still bonded to her ex, it won't be long before an 's' sneaks into the 'ex'...irrespective of what measures the OP puts in place...

does ex = sex?

My sincere advice :never go thru her messages again, never.
Unfortunately, u will forever be hunted by the one u Just read. Confrontation will not take it away, level of suspicion has been raised, trust has diminished, love is undoubtedly now doubted....
Dude, u just invaded the bees hive.... A cascade if reaction has been set rolling.... God will help ur marriage man, God will help u. Would u still have sound sleep for the next few days? I doubt... God help u still. Have u checked ur bp of recent? U need to... God help u bro....*big hug*

kweenkong:
You should talk to her. She regrets a lost love.
Ask the details of the meeting not to quarrel but to work towards your marriage. Tell her the dangers of the ex, reassure her of your love. But let her if she messes up she is gone.

She met up with an ex who never had sex with her but it resurrected old feelings. Let her know the guy might not feel the same and she should think if she is willing to end her marriage for that.

Part of your duties as a husband and leader of your home is guidance. God is ur strength.

God really dash some people sense on NL
still some people spill trash every day.

Moana:


Maybe there are things you neglect to do in your marriage. Find out what it is thats missing and fix that. All these exes she wont even remember their names after this sef.

Please Stop this talk , the wife should simply divorce her husband before hitting on an ex naa. It's cowardice when married people use the challenges in their marriage as an excuse to cheat.

The guy should use the carrot and stick approach, make all the noise you can make right now but when she is sober pamper her and let her know an ex baggage is a no-no.

Dere is possibility of them having secret affairs

Hmmmm Gbese re oo onyi bi tyre

theyrynsolar:

Ayaff collect your own if you don't collect mine

Please whats Ayaff?

I read this post with mixed feelings. I want to place myself in the shoe of the man concerned. What thoughts could be raging through his mind? To b candid even if his wife is totally commited to the marriage as she affirmed to be happy, the trust is already waning. What really in the ex-factor that we can't completely let go? The text may have been due to d excitement of running into her long lost love, also one should consider the circumstance of their separation. But the man should sit his wife down and let her know he saw her msg. They should talk things over...because the idea of both seeing each other is very tempting ...and if such meeting not properly managed, it could spell doom for these people.

She ran into her ex .. Simple hi bye and keep it moving
She clearly still loves him (FACT)
So oga at the top berra b careful he fuk up once she goneeeeeeeeeeeee

One of the things I'm going to make up my mind on before getting married, is never to go through my husband's phone. Wouldn't want to know about anything that 'll compromise my peace of mind and sanity.

Once I'm married, then I'm married. If I catch u red-handed, fine.. We' d follow it up from there. But as long as I don't know and I don't suspect, then we shall all be fine.


Having said all these, Lord, pls.. Give me a faithful and truly deserving husband, IJN.

OP, screen-grab the msg or u dey lie. This txt doesn't sound ladyish.

Oliviaarims:



Having said all these, Lord, pls.. Give me a faithful and truly deserving husband, IJN.

Amen, The Lord will grant your wish.

Moezzy:
Amen, The Lord will grant your wish.

Amen. Thanks.

Onegai:
Step up your game: start loving up your wife, paying her attention, take her out, spend time with her, gifts.

Basically, wear red pant and black bra

Exactly. Why is no one telling the man to do this as well? Cos if roles were reversed, she would be blamed for not doing her job well.

Oga, go buy red boxers and black vest jare. Just be careful not to end up looking like Abija...