Is choosing the right spouse a thing of luck? Or is it as a result of careful screening, analyzing and being rational in deciding whom to marry? I have a wonderful spouse whom I've married for a couple of years now. I used to think it was as a result of my careful screening of the different girl that came my way. Thinking about it now, wasn't i just lucky? Look at respectable people like some pastors and family members who couldn't keep a marriage. We all know that respectable friend who always got it right and who we strive to be like who couldn't keep a marriage for a few years. We also know of people who are seen as irresponsible yet have great marriages. Some of our parents had partners married for them and it turned out well while it didn't turn out well for others.

When i hear of marriages breaking everyday i wonder, could this guys be foolish and didn't see signs? We could argue that people are blinded by love but in reality how many adults marry for strictly love? How many mature people have butterflies in their tummies and are so in love that they can't reason right? These days people date and even cohabit so we can't say they were completely ignorant of the other persons attitude, behaviour and lifestyle. We could also say people marry for desperation but then, why don't the working class single girl be so desperate that she goes and marries a shoemaker or bike rider? Even when desperate, people still manag to marry suitable partners.

I can't figure it out that's why i'm throwing the question open.

A little bit of both plus a lot of God's grace, mercy and help!

Men hide a lot behind their gifts and cool convos, ladies hide a lot behind their dimples, blushes and breathtaking beauty but God alone is the Revealer of all Intents and will keep you from anything that will potentially derail your life later on in the future.

Go with God my brova
&hav a gr8 weekend!

Both!

Honestly i don't know. Some things are impossible to tell.

LUCK and FATE!

I'm not saying one should not do his/her findings very well before getting married to the other person.

I'm not saying one should not engage in serious fasting and prayers when looking for partners.

I'm not saying one should not do proper and thorough investigation into the type of person and the type of family the other person is coming from.

I'm not saying one should not consider and examine the type of company the other person keeps before being considered as the right person for you.

I'm not saying it's not good to consider one's spiritual maturity of the other person before considering him/her.

I'm not saying one should not engage in careful screening, careful analysis and careful decision before getting hooked with the other person.


However, we have seen and heard about so many who did all the stated above and even more, who still ended up with marrying a devil incarnate at the end of the day, but only discovered after the legal marriage.

And we have also seen and heard about many too, who didn't do any of the above, in fact, never believed in such screening or any analysis, but got married to someone who's like an angel, and whose marriage is like heavenly paradise.


The truth is that, there are too many mysteries in this life.
One of the mysteries is...........why will a good man/woman end up with the first born of the devil.

And why will an extremely bad/wicked person get married to a good person.



If you're lucky to have a good spouse, thank your God, thank your stars and cherish him/her.

If you're unlucky to have a bad spouse, as a good person, don't blame yourself too much, take it as one of the mysteries of life, pray, communicate your worries, try to be realistic in your request from the other person, if its still bearable, continue the relationship with the mindset that he go better. But if its life threatening, you might need to save your life first because it's only when one is alive that such can remain married.


For the good person who is lucky to get married to another good person, do not think it's your doing, you're only lucky, if you doubt me, just think of that your relation, colleague, friend, uncle,, aunt, etc who are extremely good and nice people but get hooked with a bad spouse and see how lucky you are.

Let me just stop here.

I've been thinking of this thread, the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that it's a matter of luck and fate.

There are some couples who got married after about 6, 8, 9 or eben 10 years courtship, trying to know each other very well, trying to know each others immediate and extended relations very well, trying to know each others spiritual orientation very well, trying to know how to cope with each other very well. Alas, after marriage, they discovered that they ain't compatible at all, they tried to make the marriage work, but they couldn't just, something is not just right about one or both of them. At the end, they get divorced/separated. Are we going to say it's became they don't do enough screening and thorough analysis of each other? No, One or both of them is just unlucky.



And in another scenario, we see some couples who didn't even know each other before getting married. They're matchmade, they live in far distance from each other. Apart from names, they hardly know any other thing about each other, yet, when they get married, the marriage is like heaven on earth, they enjoy their marriage like no other does. They are always happy with each other, they understand each other very well. When there is disagreement, they disagree to agree, everything works perfectly in their marriage. Do we now say it's because of personal brilliance of one or both of them in choosing life partners? No, one or both of them is just lucky.


It's unexplainable how it's like that, but I believe it's one of the mysteries of life.


May God help us all.

@lalasticlala, how I wish this thread hits FP, so that we can have other people's view on this topic. Thanks.

It is neither luck nor brilliance.but God...simple.

Both. .
It takes luck/fate/God to make your paths cross. .

Then you use your God-given sense of judgement to know if he/she is actually what you want...

[size=4pt]
I bless the day I met you sweetie[/size]

greatgod2012:
@lalasticlala, how I wish this thread hits FP, so that we can have other people's view on this topic. Thanks.

I align with ur views on this. I agree, this is front page worthy. Lalasticlala where u at?

Yes , it's more of Fate and Luck. I'm a very stubborn dude that does not waste time to raise my voice. I'm ready to go Muhammed Ali if you say you won chance me. But lucky anough to marry an angel that you can't hear her voice. Extremely gentle the kind of girl that can't stand and quarrell like must Nigerian wives do. Sometimes I wonder if I ended up with those kind of women who raise their voices on the husband like a house boy. Lol, I can't stand such, I go carry slap reset your brain.
Thank God for my kind of wifey.

You will need the both.

Luck: to have fate bring him/her to your path
Brilliance: ability to identify him/her among many that may come your way, how to go about it, etc


See my profile for erectile issues and how to spice your love life

Gods doing..

Its luck so one needs to pray hard

Luck

God's grace!

personal brilliance and observation with great scrutiny......above all,GOD

Na God ooo!

Pray?




U are wrong sir

ozoemenafn:
Its luck so one needs to pray hard

luck

how can u talk abt choosing d right person or getting married in dis kind of economic hardship in nigeria ? Op abeg paste beta tins

I think its a combination of both.. U hav to shine ya eyes wella and be observant, and u also need luck to favour u.

Qui sera sera

God+both=God

Na Gamble.....

A person who married a good spouse is lucky because many married the wrong partner.

If one fails to define what attributes he/she want in a partner in accordance with what attribute he/possesses early, he/she at the same time sets up a fall, and his/her wisdom/intelligence will be unavoidably queried.

Op, I subscribe to the both.

Combination of the two. But more of personal brilliance than luck. God expect us to use our god-given brilliance to make the best choice for ourselves (Deuteronomy 30 vs 15), Paul the Apostle also enjoin us to 'watch and pray'... Thus, the bottom line is know what you want, pray to God for direction, study well, exercise due diligence/care in making your decisions. And settle to enjoy your fulfilling spouse.

Rexhenrex:
God's grace!

Yes o,it GOD grace o

It's thru God, that your spouse is even cool headed doesn't mean he/she is the right one.

I think you need both but most importantly ""personal Screening """ cos everything is been on display while dating....

Never forget,,,God over everything....

Rexhenrex:
God's grace!

Yes o,it GOD grace o. Naijabet man say so