Some Women before they get into the family they try to be their nicer self but immediately their stay has been stamped and approved their real self comes out they turn to tiger. God help us from bad wives.

All is well sister, you just need more prayer. I feel ur pain, but that's life sometimes.

sit down there......u said u re not lazy....okay







....












goan do bricklayer or factory work for some main time to do ur clearance so DAT u can go for ur nysc on time...i pray u got a good job after ur service.......peace out

I hustled through hair dressing and all but I have stopped all that now.. as I want to fully concentrate on my final year of study.

What's your course of study? which of the institutions?

If this story ain't fabricated like I suspect then that wife no try, even if the guy is financially down (since you don't know how bouyant he is at that moment), she shouldn't have jumped in to say 'No money'. It's not her business, cos some relatives even if she knows nothing about it, anytime there is no show, they naturally assume it's the wife and keep malice with her, not caring if the family had been soaking garri and using boiled egg as meat for days. I know this, cos I witnessed it.
We don't know what sort of relationship you had with your brother before he married. We don't know how much he earns, he has his own family + more responsibilities, so it can't always be like before. I find that part you eavesdropped hard to believe, though it might be true.

OP if true, talk to your brother whenever she is not around, and discuss whatever you need with him, hopefully if he has he'll give.
And thank God you have an handiwork, create time for it

ngoben:
...who ask u dat 1 ...must u comment....didint u read d stuff well

Yes, I must comment. Do you have a problem with that? All these Internet saucy girls mtchewwww!!

Luckygurl:


Did you not see where she wrote she's in her finals?
Project stuffs and it's likes

Yes, I didn't see, read hurriedly. It's very understandable why she needs money then.

What did you demand money for? I don't see myself responding to a sibling that needs money for sorting in school even if am sitting on billions.




...in D'banj's voice ..."please don't tell me nonsense"...

humbledbyfaith:
hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

I have a feeling that you nag or complain too much more than you appreciate what he's done for you, that's why he treats you that way. That alone is a big discouragement to him.

See ehn babe, there are better ways to get anything you want from anyone including a stony heart, you know. Do you show him the respect that he deserves? How do you act towards his wife? Do you help out in house chores? Do you try to be very nice and friendly to him and his wife? Are you jovial when at home with them? Do you always start a friendly conversation with him and his wife? Are you really striving hard to be independent financially, Eg buy stuff like OK things to sell? Do you show you appreciate all he's been doing? Or all you do is Nag! Nag!! Nag!!! And make series of request. These are subtle but very effective ways to get through him. Everybody likes to be appreciated. I can never believe that he will abandon the only ones left in his extended family for no reason. Forget this spell bu.ll.s.h.i..t you guys always talk about. Your attitude has a lot to do with it.

Ladies of nowadays just makes one afraid of getting married, why will a lady stop her hubby from helping anybody muchless his siblings .......some pple just tink about today n not d future......Wat if sumtin happens in d future n its only d family of d guy dat can help her......God help d wife if anything happens to d guy at any time...dats wen she'll knw she needs family .......I blame dat guy tho, out of numerous Gud ladies out der he chose to marry a wife dat ain't compatible wit d family .....dis is Nigeria n ur second hubby is ur husband's family members ...der r no 2 ways bout it

Nne, even your own mother can forget or forsake you but the Almighty God never will. Surrender the matter to God because He knows what to do when you don't know what to do.

Secondly, I don't know how your relationship with your pastor is: go and discuss with him, he might be able to help out one way or the other.

Finally, life should have taught you a big lesson, being an orphan. You don't depend on anyone 100% so if he fails, your life ends. What kind of mentality is that? You can do something even without money. Learn hair braiding/dressing, bead making etc so as to help yourself with it. The Nigeria of today is such that one graduates, has no job and still does the same job people who didn't go to school do. If it happens to you like that (God forbid), will you still depend on your brother to solve even the smallest problems for you?

Hopefully, God will give you a good husband soon but you still must be resourceful so as not to wear him out with over-dependence on him.

Start immediately to look for a handiwork so as to take care of yourself and your younger brother because he must also go to Higher Institution. Before long, you will see what good this decision will do you.

Don't forget to thank me later. God bless you.

help me tell the op that she do even more than this when she get married. also informed her to stop sobering and fave reality it's everywhere, i dnt trust girls

help me tell the op that she will do even more than this to her husband's mother and family when she get married. also informed her to stop sobering and face reality it's everywhere, i dnt trust girls

Acidosis:
There are some stories I don't believe, this is one of them.


Your story may be true anyway but why beg mods to place this on the front-page? as in this is the 3rd thread you've opened on the same issue. What exactly would you gain from this newest thread that you haven't learnt on your previous threads? MONEY?



OP simply open a new thread and solicit for financial assistance to complete your education.
All this nonsensical repetitions doesn't make sense when all that is needed is MONEY.


Btw, where did you get this name? The humbled-by-faith I know on Nairaland has been a member since 2011/2012. Are you the same humbled-by-faith?

Lol!!
I think you meant "Humbledbygrace" not "Humbledbyfaith".
I thought same too before I digged around and found out they ain't same.

U wan comit suicide....hehe some pple r just mad!
Y i wan kill myself because of one fool...who wouldnot even cry at my funeral....

By the way me too sha my bro beat me up ooo coz of dog....hehe....i will never forget !

Good morning i read your post, contact me i will help you out......stay cool and remain blessed......... if your brother doesnt help you do not be disappointed, i was once like that but today the rest is history.......i am not writting this to seek attentions but to encourage you, your presennt situation does not determine your tomorrow..............in my only way i will bail u out...

GoodBoi1:
Next time think before you post. Peace

Nop....You need that advice instead.

Nothing lasts for too long, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, just be patient, I experienced worst than you did, but now I can say things are better, just serve God in truth and spirit and he will answer you in due time God help you

Swissheart:
Nop....You need that advice instead.

Did you forget to use your other account?

came into this thread late meh, all I can say is if you have the means to help the op,please do,she came here for a solution and the only solution she needs now is quick funds,not prayers not blames, just funds after settling her project fees we can then talk about who is to blame, and by the way I can see uplawal flaunting her stupidity on this thread trying to convince people that Islam is better, hehehehe such a clown, Islam the religion of pissful people

byvan03:
What did you demand money for? I don't see myself responding to a sibling that needs money for sorting in school even if am sitting on billions.

read the article before you type trash

so many silly old ladies forming tough luck then claiming they trying to help op by not being a part of the pity party circle jerk ... She is frustrated hence she is venting , this is a perfectly natural response as a human being that feels trapped . You people are even more useless than the so called pity party, they at least give her some level of comfort whilst you peeps just further aggravate her by calling her a lazy entitled wench and tell her to sit up whilst providing zero means to do so . What you guys are doing is the equivalent of me bashing you for not being a billionaire able to afford some uber expense because you just a simpleton content with your own folly and not a goal driven person ,then telling you to sit up . Just pure bashing with zero value , even snot nosed kids can bash. However advising her to attempt to sit up in itself isn't bad , but behaving like if she was hardworking she would be independent by now and she is completely at fault for not being independent is a just world fallacy , hardwork is a prerequisite to money and lucky encounters but it is by no means a guarantee . And to the group bashing her for being a witch against her sis in law , even if she is old and able what about their junior bro ?

Chumzylove:
Well to the Op I just pray that you're not also lying. against ur bro and the wife, perhaps the money is not there you may not know what they're passing through trust me on this, since you can make hair you can do that in ur hostel during weekend's, sell indomie and egg, with recharge card, you'll get small penny from there. What am saying is from experience am married to a husband who's the 1st son and their orphans but his own case is different he strive hard to see them get to the level they're now, but the immediate bro and the last went an got married while staying in his own house, is that not selfishness, the sis will always cry for money but when she returns from sch you'll see new handbags,clothes and shoes that she brought and you'll be asking if she's doing a beauty contest. But they see me as threat and someone that wants to break their home because I got married to their bro who they see as their father. What point am I trying to make one thing I've discovered is that some orphans when their bro gets married they feel he has drifted away from them and that he's now concern about his wife and kids, jealousy and envy comes in and they'll start transferring these hatred to the wife and feels she's the cause of the problem, they no longer see any good in her. Pls when we try to criticise the wife let us also know the truth, am not writing for writing sake am speaking from example I can lay down my life for my husband's siblings because I'll spend my entire life with them but when I put to bed and my mum came, my younger sis came for her baptism, in fact he whole story changed, these my sis in law that I've always encouraged started showing me that in fact its her brothers house, because I didn't want to cause problem and you know people will always blame the wife I kept quiet and endured all her misbehaviour, its a long story sha at the end a humble and dedicated wife suffers for what she knows nothing about. Do your best as a sis in law don't interfere in their lives, maybe he's passing through a financial break down. Also remember that you're a woman and if you hurt ur bro wife you'll get married and also the law of karma will visit you. When you're done with ur project you can look for a mini job, save and do ur clearance. Posting these thing here to me also shows the kind of person you are. Believe me when things turn around for good between you, ur bro and the wife you won't come and give us the testimony. Patient, humility is the key to a successful life.

I just hope this scenario is not what's actually happening
Humbledbyfaith, you need to understand that your brother's loyalty is now divided between you, your brother and his immediate family.
Yes!! He's your elder bro and you're his responsibility but for how long will that be?


It's obvious he's possibly trying his best which might not be good enough.
Cut him some slack! Get on your feet and become responsible for you and your younger bro's upkeep
Stop whining ontop this issue over and over again.
Remember, there's dignity in labour.

I'm not saying the journey will be so smooth, it won't. I'm quite sure of that but as long as there's life, there's hope.

Heed to this advice and you'd look back in time and be glad you did

PS: I read through the thread and noticed a few people offering to help.
That's a good start, you could reach out to them.
This is not the first time people are rendering help here on NL.

Just be careful while at it

Ahmed0336:
i have a friend who happens to be in similar situation. He is the first Son and have 3 younger ones. Him been wan marry i tell am say make him chill first, allow his immediate younger brother grad before getting married to avoid story that touches. And to be honest thats what saved his younger ones, Cos as he married chai!!! Him matter don pass our power cos we no just understand d dude again

Exactly why I couldn't marry this year. I lost my elder bros last year. He had a house wife with a 2-month-old baby. A daughter in nursery. A son in SS3. Our last born a final year radiography student. His burial expenses was on me. So I had to shelf marriage plans to settle these issues first. I no want katakata for my life o.

freecocoa:
Lol @ fetching water for 30 days.

OP's story is actually making me laugh because it reminds me of the nonsense nollywood like drama my cousin's wife puts up.

Even if there's no money, she has no place cutting into the conversation like that, when the request never even land, Shior.

E be like say the liquor still dey shack you
She said days of thirst as in needing water. Not 30 days o.

Drink more water make your eyes clear

humbledbyfaith:
hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

I have a strong feeling your story is fake

nuelzz04:
Ladies of nowadays just makes one afraid of getting married, why will a lady stop her hubby from helping anybody muchless his siblings .......some pple just tink about today n not d future......Wat if sumtin happens in d future n its only d family of d guy dat can help her......God help d wife if anything happens to d guy at any time...dats wen she'll knw she needs family .......I blame dat guy tho, out of numerous Gud ladies out der he chose to marry a wife dat ain't compatible wit d family .....dis is Nigeria n ur second hubby is ur husband's family members ...der r no 2 ways bout it

How can a lady stop the husband from helping others if he wants to? Then that husband is a fool, and shouldn't be called one. If he decides not to help others, its what he's always wanted to do and not because he's married now.
No one can ask me not to send money to whomever i deem fit provided its my money. I'm sure you would also say the same, and almost everyone one here will too.

byvan03:
What did you demand money for? I don't see myself responding to a sibling that needs money for sorting in school even if am sitting on billions.

Didn't you sort in school? The lady explained what she's going through and all you could say is not giving money to sort.

I have gone thru this "lady's" profile and i think she's fake. Pardon my bluntness and lack of sympathy.

She opened this account in february and all her posts are about hw her brother neglected her and how she can't pay her school fees and that of her younger brother. She never fails to mention d school fees part in all 3 posts.

I'm beginning to think she's stylishly soliciting for funds from well meaning people. I'm not saying u guys shouldnt help her if u have d means to. I just think there are better ways to ask for money than painting an unexistin brother black.

eyinjuege:


How can a lady stop the husband from helping others if he wants to? Then that husband is a fool, and shouldn't be called one. If he decides not to help others, its what he's always wanted to do and not because he's married now.
No one can ask me not to send money to whomever i deem fit provided its my money. I'm sure you would also say the same, and almost everyone one here will too.

according to d story he was helping bfr.......I guess madam must v said or must v done sumtin

God,any woman that will make me abandon my family,separate me from such.

Chillisauce:
You never reach to marry
Dead parents ko.! You go invoke tire.

Pls if you are a christian go to your church for funds. No be only to collect tithe them sabi.

If a Moslem, you know your way to the mosque.

If neither of the two. Go get a boyfriend ojare. No be only to do osho free . If you dey chop frog chop better one

Love no dey this one oh.
This is emergency. As you no fit find work take support yourself..it better you know where you are skilled and go for it. Let your Bros breathe abeg.

Time you use to complain from last yr you suppose Don sell 40k recharge card for traffic in one week.

My dear..carry your self and find your way ojare.

N'a your type dey collect handout money 100 times yet no result.

Not a cool thing to say to someone in serious pains...I can feel her frustration