veave:
Na wah oh.

Toh 1.give them money. 2.let your wife buy the things so you can bear a grudge. 3. Buy the things yourself and face family panel.


BTW.

Who is providing money for that?
Don't you think someone is not getting enough houe keeping money and is looking for where to pinch from to solve personal need? My thoughts tho.

shegxi:
even if she is nt getting enough house keeping money, that is nt the right approach. and may i remind u that people who are big on giving dn't necessarily give because they have enough or excess.
i just think it is a case of woman that has either poor attitude towards money or personal vendatta against her neighbour.

byvan03:
Put the money in an envelope and give them. Just cut the long story short. Usually women buy those stuffs but your wife seems to be the stingy and paranoid type. So present the money in an envelope before she buys embarrassing gifts. Don't buy baby milk, buy non consumables.

veave:




Remember, i said i think. My thoughts could be wrong tho. Because i wonder why you would prefer to give cheap gifts simply because that is the one they use when your husband has willingly agreed to foot the bill for higher quality. Has it not occurred to her that they use the ones they use because of cost? Just like you rightly said. Givers do not necessarily have it all, but just have the heart of giving which is golden. Op's wife need serious orientation about that. Besides, she is the type of friend one should avoid. Imagine bearing a grudge with her neighbour this big and pretending all is well. Only bidding her time for a pay back. God go help us.


BTW, between 1-3 which of them would you choose?

veave:




Remember, i said i think. My thoughts could be wrong tho. Because i wonder why you would prefer to give cheap gifts simply because that is the one they use when your husband has willingly agreed to foot the bill for higher quality. Has it not occurred to her that they use the ones they use because of cost? Just like you rightly said. Givers do not necessarily have it all, but just have the heart of giving which is golden. Op's wife need serious orientation about that. Besides, she is the type of friend one should avoid. Imagine bearing a grudge with her neighbour this big and pretending all is well. Only bidding her time for a pay back. God go help us.

i would gladly go with the first option for peace.
BTW, between 1-3 which of them would you choose?

GodnGold:
CHIMCO, buy the exact things they bought when your wife put to bed.

freecocoa:
OP your wife is an 1diot, mschew nonsense.

CHIMCO:
please dont insult my wife. Make your own contribution if you have any. I merely seek your advice not insult.

CHIMCO:
Thanks but She strongly opposed any physical cash on them, indeed that was my initial thoughts. And I don't want to give them anything behind her back to avoid her concluding her suspicion....She is even threatening to call my people that I have feelings for my neighbour's wife. l believed that a gift that did not cost you is not a gift.

CHIMCO:
My neighbours wife put to bed. I am making arrangement on how to pay vist to the child with gifts. My wife also put to bed early this year and Surprisenly, i was at work when my wife called me and informed me that this very neigbour came to visit our child with tubers of yam and diaper(my babe). I was surprised because i wasnt expecting anything from them and i know that they are poor sharing one room. I thanked them. Now they had a new babe and i am planning to pay a visit. My wife asked me what i intend to buy, i told her i want to buy the following: 1 SMA gold 2. Diaper(pampers) 3 detergent(zip big size) and bottles of eve water big sizes. My wife opposed to the above and insist on the following: 1 that it is her sole responsibility to buy things for them, that i should give her the money.( i know she will not buy what i want) 2 she said they uses NAN babe formular and WOW detergent. That i should give them what they use. But the above things i mentioned was what i normally use for my children and i can afford it for them. We are having serious issues on the above now. My wife threatens to size the items and use it on our children if i buy the ones our children uses. She even alleaged that i have eyes on her on mere alleagation that she talks and laughs with me whenever she is not around and thats the reason i want to buy what our children uses for them. Please i need your candid advice on the above. My wife is also a member of this forum she will also read and learn. Thanks.

CHIMCO:
Thank you My Sister. My neighbour gave me their gift out of abundance of their hearts,with the little they have. Must I give exact gifts they gave me if I can afford to give more? No! I was even surprise how she knew the product they are using. My wife even complained bitterly that the diapers (my baby) she gave us was leaking when used. should I buy the same diaper (my baby) to them? No! I'm a father with Children and I know that I give my children the best in life with the help of God. Thanks again.

dahmie2013:
@Op, 4rm ur description, any sane human being will relate more with u dan with ur wife. Seems u're an open person with a large heart, ur wife's d opposite. I don't blame d woman 4 talking more 2 u, probably ur wife looks down on dem. But I'm glad u mentned she'll read d comments, let her know dat dis life is a phase & nothing lasts 4eva. Dey might be poor 2day, but only God knows 2moro.

blank:


Don't listen to this. Are you paying them back? Apart from being able to afford it, this is wrong on so many levels. If someone does that to me, I will not collect it. I will tell them that there's no need for them to return my gift except he is saying that we are fighting?

CHIMCO:
My neighbours wife put to bed. I am making arrangement on how to pay vist to the child with gifts. My wife also put to bed early this year and Surprisenly, i was at work when my wife called me and informed me that this very neigbour came to visit our child with tubers of yam and diaper(my babe). I was surprised because i wasnt expecting anything from them and i know that they are poor sharing one room. I thanked them. Now they had a new babe and i am planning to pay a visit. My wife asked me what i intend to buy, i told her i want to buy the following: 1 SMA gold 2. Diaper(pampers) 3 detergent(zip big size) and bottles of eve water big sizes. My wife opposed to the above and insist on the following: 1 that it is her sole responsibility to buy things for them, that i should give her the money.( i know she will not buy what i want) 2 she said they uses NAN babe formular and WOW detergent. That i should give them what they use. But the above things i mentioned was what i normally use for my children and i can afford it for them. We are having serious issues on the above now. My wife threatens to seize the items and use it on our children if i buy the ones our children uses. She even alleaged that i have eyes on her on mere alleagation that she talks and laughs with me whenever she is not around and thats the reason i want to buy what our children uses for them. Please i need your candid advice on the above. My wife is also a member of this forum she will also read and learn. Thanks.

5minsmadness:


Lol.
First thing u should realise is that this is not a big deal. Dont make it one. Women tend to be jealous, its part of thier MO. You have good intentions but if your wife is against it and is pulling the jealousy card jejerly concede the battle to your wife. It can be annoying but its one of the sacrifices u have to make to keep the peace in your home. There will be greater battles to fight where u have to stamp your foot on the ground. This one isnt one of them.

Cheers bro.

Acidosis:
For peace to reign in your house, do what she wants, but don't end it there.



Continue to teach her the principles of love. In many situations, we may not be able to give the same quality/quantity of consumables, etc. as gifts to people. However, telling you to your face that your neighbors baby cannot share the same materials with her baby is unethical. If someone ask me for a phone, wristwatch, laptop, etc., truth is I MAY not buy the exact quality/quantity I use. Not because I look down on whoever is asking, but solely because of financial limitations.

If your wife tells you DO NOT BUY this for financial reasons, then she HAS A point. But if the rationale behind the disagreement dwells on non-financial issues like 'class', then again, you need to teach her principles of love and sacrifice.

Until she learns this, do not allow a young maid come close to your house.


Cheers

veave:





Don't fight with her. Just give them money to buy what they want. Trust me. Daiper would be very far from it. Things are real hard. Anyone you give money now would never stop putting you in prayers

njokusboy:


Dude, it's better not to give than to give grudgingly.....
Little things like this are best nipped in the bud at their infancy else he'd be trying to cut it down for the rest of his marries life.... Like my dad always says, anything you cannot sustain in a marriage, don't start it....
ND she is even blackmailing him, this is a ticking bomb I tell you, conceding to the wife in an issue such as this is the worst thing a man can possibly do in the scenario....
If she can make an issue out of this, what do you think she'd so when real issues arise?

tearoses:
Mrs Chimco, since you will read this thread this is directed at you and this is sister to sister

I hope by now you have supported your husband in what he wants to do for this family.
See, Some battles may be won on the face of it, but the damage goes a lot deeper and extends longer than you would ever imagine.
So choose your battles wisely.

Many times when you hear a couple/marriage going though strife and they both tell you the reason, you look at them both and wonder how this small thing can cause this big wahala. The truth is that what is causing the wahala is months and years of the frustrations and the implications of battles that should not have been fought in the first instance.

You see in your husbands mind no matter how subtle, with this your action, you now come across as jealous, wicked, proud, unsubmissive and cannot be trusted with his money. All that because of a simple present for a neighbours birth.
Something that should be a thing of joy has now turned your home into a war zone....WHY?

Now talking about the issue gan gan, the hand of the giver is always on top and you cannot do good and reap bad. Forget the "She is friendly with my husband" so I dont like her biz.
And thats another thing. if you dont like something, nip it in the bud. Dont wait until you have an opportunity to rub it in. It makes you look like a schemer.
If you dont like your husbands association with the neighbour then you should have made it clear at the time. Now that you've waited for your pound of flesh makes you look like a bad person.

Back to the gift; there is no point of giving a gift if you are not giving it from the bottom of your heart.
I also know that when you give, you receive Gods blessings
You also please God when you respect your husband. Your husband seems like a decent man (I dont know him o) but when someone insulted you yesterday he was quick to jump to your defence and he genuinely cares about other people.

Personally If I were you, I would do what he wants. You are killing 3 birds with one stone; You have listened to your husband,(something I am sure the he will appreciate) you have given to the needy & you have blessed a little baby with a gift.

If you don't agree with the gift because they wont use it, then that's a different thing, and I agree with you, but the reasons your husband states for you refusing to let go of the gifts are not right.