Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,565 members, 7,955,096 topics. Date: Saturday, 21 September 2024 at 04:45 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Have A Family Problem (5256 Views)
Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? / Can You Start A Family With This Salary In Nigeria? / Can I Start A Family With 70k? (2) (3) (4)
Re: I Have A Family Problem by 1k001(m): 11:17pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
To the OP: Happy wife, happy life. Allow your wife do what she wants, pick your battles wisely, this is not one fighting over. Choose another time to teach your wife the principles that you imbibe. To the wife: Just chill and be generous. Choose battles wisely. To all. Keep life simple, no need for long stories or unnecessary disagreement over things that are essentially trivial. 6 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by veave(f): 1:37am On Aug 22, 2016 |
Na wah oh. Toh 1.give them money. 2.let your wife buy the things so you can bear a grudge. 3. Buy the things yourself and face family panel. BTW. Who is providing money for that? Don't you think someone is not getting enough houe keeping money and is looking for where to pinch from to solve personal need? My thoughts tho. |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nyceguy92: 2:18am On Aug 22, 2016 |
OP mentioned that this woman was of poor financial standing so she needs money. She is more likely to rely more on breastfeeding and weaning onto home cooked food than NAN, etc. I strongly suggest you give cash so she can apply it to areas of most need. Remember they have to eat in the house. Alternatively, you can give your wife a token to buy a few items while you make it up with cash when you get there. This will be my approach if I were you. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by shegxi(m): 6:52am On Aug 22, 2016 |
veave:even if she is nt getting enough house keeping money, that is nt the right approach. and may i remind u that people who are big on giving dn't necessarily give because they have enough or excess. i just think it is a case of woman that has either poor attitude towards money or personal vendatta against her neighbour. 3 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by veave(f): 7:31am On Aug 22, 2016 |
shegxi: Remember, i said i think. My thoughts could be wrong tho. Because i wonder why you would prefer to give cheap gifts simply because that is the one they use when your husband has willingly agreed to foot the bill for higher quality. Has it not occurred to her that they use the ones they use because of cost? Just like you rightly said. Givers do not necessarily have it all, but just have the heart of giving which is golden. Op's wife need serious orientation about that. Besides, she is the type of friend one should avoid. Imagine bearing a grudge with her neighbour this big and pretending all is well. Only bidding her time for a pay back. God go help us. BTW, between 1-3 which of them would you choose? 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 8:20am On Aug 22, 2016 |
Your wife is just being greedy and unnecessarily selfish. These things you want to buy for them are not even much. some women sha. Anyway I will advice you to buy it nevertheless and tell her not to try and touch the items, after all you are the man of the house.@Chimco 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Acidosis(m): 9:39am On Aug 22, 2016 |
For peace to reign in your house, do what she wants, but don't end it there. Continue to teach her the principles of love. In many situations, we may not be able to give the same quality/quantity of consumables, etc. as gifts to people. However, telling you to your face that your neighbors baby cannot share the same materials with her baby is unethical. If someone ask me for a phone, wristwatch, laptop, etc., truth is I MAY not buy the exact quality/quantity I use. Not because I look down on whoever is asking, but solely because of financial limitations. If your wife tells you DO NOT BUY this for financial reasons, then she HAS A point. But if the rationale behind the disagreement dwells on non-financial issues like 'class', then again, you need to teach her principles of love and sacrifice. Until she learns this, do not allow a young maid come close to your house. Cheers 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by bukatyne(f): 11:23am On Aug 22, 2016 |
byvan03: 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 12:02pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
veave:Thank you My Sister. My neighbour gave me their gift out of abundance of their hearts,with the little they have. Must I give exact gifts they gave me if I can afford to give more? No! I was even surprise how she knew the product they are using. My wife even complained bitterly that the diapers (my baby) she gave us was leaking when used. should I buy the same diaper (my baby) to them? No! I'm a father with Children and I know that I give my children the best in life with the help of God. Thanks again. 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by shegxi(m): 12:37pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
veave: |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by blank(f): 1:51pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
GodnGold: Don't listen to this. Are you paying them back? Apart from being able to afford it, this is wrong on so many levels. If someone does that to me, I will not collect it. I will tell them that there's no need for them to return my gift except he is saying that we are fighting? 6 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by freecocoa(f): 2:08pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
OP your wife is an 1diot, mschew nonsense. |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 5:53pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
freecocoa:please dont insult my wife. Make your own contribution if you have any. I merely seek your advice not insult. 6 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by freecocoa(f): 6:19pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
CHIMCO:For starters, calling a person what they are can't be termed insult and when you bring something like this here, best expect not to like all you'll see. I have no advice to give for such a nonsense and annoying issue, people like your wife are part of the problems of this world and I find them highy irritating, talking about how other kids shouldn't use same products as hers, it's not even as if she's extremely wealthy sef, what will happen if she has all the money in the world? mschew nonsense once again. P.S OP you seem like a nice person so I really don't mean to upset you but I can't help calling a spade what it is. 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 7:25pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
CHIMCO: Dude your wife is extremely paranoid.... You don't solve problems like this by playing along, you have made your decision, ensuring your wife respects it is why you are the man of the house... Buy what you want to buy and don't allow her blackmail you.... 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by blank(f): 8:00pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Are we still on this matter? Haven't you guys gone to see your neighbour yet? |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by ogawisdom(m): 8:33pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
CHIMCO: Who is d man and wife in this relationship B4 peace sometimes there is usually war dnt let ur wife control and order u arnd to this point 3 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by veave(f): 10:40pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
CHIMCO: Don't fight with her. Just give them money to buy what they want. Trust me. Daiper would be very far from it. Things are real hard. Anyone you give money now would never stop putting you in prayers 3 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Fastpace(f): 12:16am On Aug 23, 2016 |
Hmmn!End time wife |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Ranchhoddas: 12:30am On Aug 23, 2016 |
What a thread! |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by diportivo: 2:18am On Aug 23, 2016 |
Funny thread I'm baffled dat some ppl are asking that the wife's wishes be granted for peace to reign.....say what Ur gifts usually are a reflection of what u are used to, and it shldnt matter who the recipient is.if they will use it or not shldnt be ur concern.you av given what u can afford and dats dat...or if it were dangote's wife dat gave birth,u will go to the UK to buy detergents cos dats what dey are used to? 3 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by DBestDoc(f): 2:54am On Aug 23, 2016 |
dahmie2013: Thank You my brother... Being educated is hardly synonymous with having common sense. You and your wife should better keep your gifts to yourselves, it's needless if you can't give cheerfully and wholeheartedly, that's why it's a gift... Nobody force una 3 Likes |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by PresVA: 7:46am On Aug 23, 2016 |
This is what you call a family problem? And you even opened a thread on it? No offence, you and your wife go sabi nag shaa... |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 7:50am On Aug 23, 2016 |
Mrs Chimco, since you will read this thread this is directed at you and this is sister to sister I hope by now you have supported your husband in what he wants to do for this family. See, Some battles may be won on the face of it, but the damage goes a lot deeper and extends longer than you would ever imagine. So choose your battles wisely. Many times when you hear a couple/marriage going though strife and they both tell you the reason, you look at them both and wonder how this small thing can cause this big wahala. The truth is that what is causing the wahala is months and years of the frustrations and the implications of battles that should not have been fought in the first instance. You see in your husbands mind no matter how subtle, with this your action, you now come across as jealous, wicked, proud, unsubmissive and cannot be trusted with his money. All that because of a simple present for a neighbours birth. Something that should be a thing of joy has now turned your home into a war zone....WHY? Now talking about the issue gan gan, the hand of the giver is always on top and you cannot do good and reap bad. Forget the "She is friendly with my husband" so I dont like her biz. And thats another thing. if you dont like something, nip it in the bud. Dont wait until you have an opportunity to rub it in. It makes you look like a schemer. If you dont like your husbands association with the neighbour then you should have made it clear at the time. Now that you've waited for your pound of flesh makes you look like a bad person. Back to the gift; there is no point of giving a gift if you are not giving it from the bottom of your heart. I also know that when you give, you receive Gods blessings You also please God when you respect your husband. Your husband seems like a decent man (I dont know him o) but when someone insulted you yesterday he was quick to jump to your defence and he genuinely cares about other people. Personally If I were you, I would do what he wants. You are killing 3 birds with one stone; You have listened to your husband,(something I am sure the he will appreciate) you have given to the needy & you have blessed a little baby with a gift. If you don't agree with the gift because they wont use it, then that's a different thing, and I agree with you, but the reasons your husband states for you refusing to let go of the gifts are not right. 16 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by GodnGold: 10:47am On Aug 23, 2016 |
blank:It was typed in sarcasm.Op is a man and this is a fight he should withdraw from. |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by 5minsmadness: 11:40am On Aug 23, 2016 |
CHIMCO: Lol. First thing u should realise is that this is not a big deal. Dont make it one. Women tend to be jealous, its part of thier MO. You have good intentions but if your wife is against it and is pulling the jealousy card jejerly concede the battle to your wife. It can be annoying but its one of the sacrifices u have to make to keep the peace in your home. There will be greater battles to fight where u have to stamp your foot on the ground. This one isnt one of them. Cheers bro. |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 11:50am On Aug 23, 2016 |
5minsmadness: Dude, it's better not to give than to give grudgingly..... Little things like this are best nipped in the bud at their infancy else he'd be trying to cut it down for the rest of his marries life.... Like my dad always says, anything you cannot sustain in a marriage, don't start it.... ND she is even blackmailing him, this is a ticking bomb I tell you, conceding to the wife in an issue such as this is the worst thing a man can possibly do in the scenario.... If she can make an issue out of this, what do you think she'd so when real issues arise? 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by 5minsmadness: 12:37pm On Aug 23, 2016 |
Acidosis: Excellent point. |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by 5minsmadness: 12:41pm On Aug 23, 2016 |
veave:True this! |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by 5minsmadness: 12:53pm On Aug 23, 2016 |
njokusboy: I had more to say but tearoses has done justice in her last post. I'm not looking to insult op's wife but from all indications she looks like a trouble-maker. I wont be surprised if this is but one of the many "issues" in thier home. As in, what is she calling family meeting over? Is the man planning on marrying a second wife? Everything in this scenario is flimsy. If it will make her happy to give the neighbors child keysoap and local pampers so she can get back at them for not talking to her, shuo, let her do so. So that tomorrow she wont say her husband is cheating on her and even bought gifts for his lover, then all of nairaland will insult him. He has nothing invested in this neighbor, let her have her way. In the meantime (like acidosis suggested) he should teach her the principle of love and giving and not holding a grudge and not looking down on others. There will be peace in jis home and she will be receptive to change. OP might feel offended but i doubt this is the first time she isnt letting him do what he wants. He should let it go to reap better rewards in future. |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 2:03pm On Aug 23, 2016 |
tearoses:Thanks |
Re: I Have A Family Problem by Pidggin(f): 3:29pm On Aug 23, 2016 |
If your story is true then it seems your wife is very petty, such a woman will have problems with many people |
9 Things To Know If You Want To Marry Ekiti Guy / Boost Your Child's Nutritional Intake With Reload 4 Kids / 5 Nigerian Women Share Why They Regret Getting Married
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 94 |