op contact me on Wechat with unclegud for a very serious discussion.

Jailerrr:
Nawaoooo! ok na, na all these guys wey be say sex na their priority na im some people de worry for, I have come to understand that no sex no love for guys.as for me, about turn!

Haba, are you that myopic??

Chubhie:
You place premium on intelligence.Has it occurred to you that your ideal husband could be too busy locked away with passion in putting his intelligence to work?

Paths MUST be crossed either through angelic orchestration or self-help.

Dont appear desperate cos an intelligent dude can spot such from one mile radius.

Look for locations or places you feel your ideal intelligent dudes congregate and adapt to such
environments.

Iron sharpens iron.you MUST first become that which you desperately seek.

It must be a give and take situation with that which you seek or you end up bored and miserable with them.

Can you be comfortable with a Seun sitting in front of his computer all day and coding in alien languages without having his bath?

You talk of an ex being all perfect yet you can't love him? You must understand that love is a fleeting sensation and barely enough to see you through marriage.

If that your ex ticks all the other boxes why not work on yourself and reconsider him?

You can not have everything on a plater of gold else that's rigging from your maker.

Perhaps,your maker is looking up to you to make this one decision.Such a wise God!

You've said it all, I wish I could give you a hundred likes on dis

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

Sounded like one of my cousin sister.

Well, just try and be more friendly and reduce this your strictness.
Take public transport often, go out once in awhile. Not house to work, then work to church and back to the house again. That's not the outing I'm talking about. Make male friends and you will see yourself getting used to one and that one will reciprocate too. It's going to be stage by stage. You don't expect a total stranger to just come and propose to you. Or one relation saying he/she has one boy abroad who's looking for a wife and they try hooking you up. This isn't a problem at all.......
Reading your post alone, there might be someone here who's having crush on you already. Falling for you might be next. Are you ready to communicate..... Open hands of friendship girl and you will see wonders in no time.

Good night.

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

U ever heard the saying "U can't have it all in life"
There's no happy ever after in life
Bae, that's ur own cross
Deal with it

Good day Sister. There's been a lot of wonderful advice which I'm sure you have noted.
I want to point out that you seem to be a prayerful person and believe me that is all you need.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You need to know that and tell yourself that repeatedly if necessary. Stop comparing yourself with others cos believe me it's not about who gets married first.
Keep praying as you have been doing and the one you have been waiting for will surely locate you.
God bless

Op, i want to marry you

quote author=seizethaBae post=49715863]I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired[/quote]

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

**And I clicked on your profile to see if I would meet this sister... But there were hardly any trace of contacts. It would be good to get to know you, in any case. And no, I do not see you as desperate. You are desperately unburdening out a question and that's a very far cry from being desperate. Could I get to know you, if that's okay with you?**

Lleigh:


You should eats beans....to reduce starchy food eat more protein and exercise.

the percentage of carbohydrate (fiber and starch) is higher than that of protein in the beans we eat in Nigeria. However, an exception is soybeans.

[s]

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

[/s]

When you were doing HARD TO GET

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

Your write up brought tears to my eyes. I am 21 but seriously considering becoming a career woman...I don't know if Christians are allowed
Let us know when you find him
Or when you find a balance

My married friend died recently during childbirth. I stopped trying to impress people..the pressure ladies are in though...beginning to dislike guys...stopped eye contacts

ibietela2:
[s][/s]

When you were doing HARD TO GET

Shhhhh

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

your search is over, please P.M me let's work things out... U will be surprised ... I'm waiting...

Wait a minute...


Did u offend any of ur village person

Every aboki with him own kettle...

seizethaBae:
Standard too high ke! you dont know me atall. I really wish i can explain every details of dat past r/ship with dis Mr Right,there is no spark atall frm myside and i cant marry him out of pity. It is not by standard,you love who you love. And do you tink anyone will be single if we decide to go for whoever comes our way;feelings or no feelings? and lastly let me get d bold part straight;are you saying its wrong to wish/pray for someone i will love and will love me back,or i shld enter a marriage without having feelings for d man?

Not everybody will get hitched... You are desperate now and not intelligent.

gidjah:
You will some day get married bae,you just need to get a lil bit more less strict and reduce your yard lines drawn.i wanna believe fine men come close,but your feelings ain't there,would you want the kind of person you will have feelings for or vice versa?,
Iife is not most times how we want it to get played,love grows with time too, the person you tend not to have feelings for today,might b d one your feelings gets strongest for with time ,that's how love grows .if it grows with time, it will stay permanent,you will have to let your love grow with some nice guy out there,watch it ,tend it,water it and watch it grow to stay forever.you are pretty young,that's why you are still feeling this way,but mind you ,age is never on your side,you grow old daily,watch it,I pray it does get better with you.gat an older sis who was just
LIke you,she started like you,finished her school very young ,na so we talk to her,she go say,'this one ,I don't have feelings for,''that one he is not minding me'..bla bla bla..to make the short story long,my older sis works with the accountant general of the federation as the head,she is well over fourty today but guys have stopped coming!,she is still there with all the comforts she has,was with 'aunty'few days ago, age no be here o, she told me she gets depressed dail over how she has been,and how she has treated guys,..with all the cars and affluence,na only married guys dey show for her side!.her pastor even asked her to keep her cars at home and start trekking may be boys will show up,...for were !!??

,
ewooo..

Nigayoyo:


seriously bro, I wanted her to fully refine herself before looking for intelligent guys. For example, I also wanted an intelligent girl so I knew I needed to improve my IQ. Also I won't want a girl with big tummy so I eat boiled fish, boiled chicken without the skin, steamed lettuce and spinach, and coconut oil-made omelette every day in order to maintain a flat tummy. I don't eat rice, beans, yam, and other starchy foods.

Most often than not, humans expect what they can't give. There's more to life than that jare.

My thought exactly...she thinks she is intelligent. She isn't... I have spotted it and so did those guys who didn't love her back. Women think beauty and sex equal intelligence and wealth.

Nigayoyo:


Dear, I could have suggested hooking you up with some of my friends but your written English needs adjustment. First try working on that since you also want intelligent guys!

Oga, your own plenty ooh. Na essay she dey write? You use post on nairaland take judge her written prowess.LOOOOOOOl

Marry anyone.

The feelings will grow.

seizethaBae:
if u guys no d level of my seriousness walah iu wont take it as a joke. shams040 im not here to look for patner/husband but to find experience pple to diagnose what could be wrong with me or if it happens to most ladies before they settle down. Experience pple pls respond plsssss

I want to suggest to you that if you truly need to get married or make your relationship work well, the approach is SIMPLE. BE THE RIGHT WOMAN! the question is: HOW DOES THIS BE? work on yourself - the total makeup of your CHARACTER. many times, u will be amazed to discover while u are in the changing room of life character that the right man is not far from you. it's just that your orientation and conception was wrong back then.
an excerpt from The Bible: Rebecca worked on hospitality, not minding who the person was and that convinced Servant's Head of Abraham to know more about her family.

gidjah:
You will some day get married bae,you just need to get a lil bit more less strict and reduce your yard lines drawn.i wanna believe fine men come close,but your feelings ain't there,would you want the kind of person you will have feelings for or vice versa?,
Iife is not most times how we want it to get played,love grows with time too, the person you tend not to have feelings for today,might b d one your feelings gets strongest for with time ,that's how love grows .if it grows with time, it will stay permanent,you will have to let your love grow with some nice guy out there,watch it ,tend it,water it and watch it grow to stay forever.you are pretty young,that's why you are still feeling this way,but mind you ,age is never on your side,you grow old daily,watch it,I pray it does get better with you.gat an older sis who was just
LIke you,she started like you,finished her school very young ,na so we talk to her,she go say,'this one ,I don't have feelings for,''that one he is not minding me'..bla bla bla..to make the short story long,my older sis works with the accountant general of the federation as the head,she is well over fourty today but guys have stopped coming!,she is still there with all the comforts she has,was with 'aunty'few days ago, age no be here o, she told me she gets depressed dail over how she has been,and how she has treated guys,..with all the cars and affluence,na only married guys dey show for her side!.her pastor even asked her to keep her cars at home and start trekking may be boys will show up,...for were !!??

So you're basically telling the OP that she should get with someone she has no feelings for, on the hope that she will develop feelings later for that person, and if not, she'll be 40 and unmarried and depressed, abi?

I don't understand why women are always the ones who need to lower their standards, be less choosy, always accommodate. God forbid you tell a man he should marry a woman he has no feelings for and let the love grow.

OP, I know marriage is important to you but you need to relax. What do you do socially? Do you go to events where men and women can mingle?

u are just so very much right my br.U HIT D NAIL STRAIGHT ON D HEAD.THANKS

lobito007:

You seem like you have set your standards too high, which underlines why you find it difficult to develop feelings for a man. What is your love language? What about a man makes you tick? Which of these things are lacking in the men you find it difficult developing feelings for? You mentioned the fact that an ex was just perfect for you, yet you could not develop feelings for him. What else are you looking for? It appears you have no clue. If this ex was perfect, why did he become an ex initially? Examine it critically- if a guy, especially one that you had dated, was by your assessment, perfect, why could you still not develop feelings for him after you reconciled? At least, you were in a relationship before. Did you never love him the whole time? Do you even know what love is? Have you ever fallen in love? Do you know what love feels like? Do some soul searching. Your talk of how you could not develop feelings, especially for suitors you thought were okay, is the type a teenage girl who is just trying out dating would come up with. You stated that the ones whom you love don't love you and the ones who love you, you do not love. That is a natural phenomenon and it is not peculiar to just you. So, if this has happened to virtually everyone, dont you think that there is a possibility that a lot of thriving marriages started out with unmutual feelings that later blossomed into mutual feelings over time? You are praying for someone you will have feelings for before you get married. You think it is every prayer God will answer?? What if such a man never comes. You would rather watch the ones who truly love you slip away? Not wise, if you asked me. You are a 27-year-old lady! Think and act like one!

baum1:


Oga, your own plenty ooh. Na essay she dey write? You use post on nairaland take judge her written prowess.LOOOOOOOl

Where again? Meeting her to hear: so you knows me?

U CAN C Y SHE IS AVIN DIS MAN-ISSUE NOW.thank u so much 4 ur reply to her

toni4691:
Your response to the guy that requested your contacts isn't OK. You can meet your husband anywhere. Even a Nairalander can be the man.

thanks for dis,i just hope she will understand dis major point of marriage

mastermaestro:


From your maiden post it is clear that you aren't faced with a famine of suitors, just that you haven't found the one that matches your inner colour. Read and think carefully, my baby sister who got married at the twilight of 2015 actually got married to a guy she initially adjudged a mismatch. She confided in me how she didn't feel anything for him when he first asked her out. For many months her heart never panted a second for him.

I was far away. She called me on the phone one morning to discuss it with me. She told me how she wanted a guy as smart and sociable as myself and a cousin of mine. This guy wasn't close in many respects. That morning I had to open her mind to a few details about love and marriage. Well most important of all, I asked her to go enquire from the Creator of marriage if the dude was right for her. Yes I actually asked her to. Human judgments are usually flawed! It's extremely risky and a huge gamble as well for anyone to rely solely on themselves when choosing a lifetime bedroom mate. This is my belief.

After a few days she called me to tell me she hadn't found out anything yet. Well I told her that the guy was her soulmate. How I knew is something for another day. My sweet sister was distraught. The conversation lost steam and she hung up. Few days later she rang me to inform me she had confirmed what I told her. I wasn't interested in how she found out. Today they are married. She is overjoyed. They both call me all the time expressing their gratitude.

Moral lesson:

1. Don't chase after feelings of love.
2. Love is not enough.
3. The weak-looking one is usually the jackpot.
4. The flashy ones usually are a load of pain when you arrive home together.
5. Never lean on your own understanding when making the choice. It's a risk you may never be able to undo.

Op please go find your perfect ex and give him a chance. Marriage is not fairytales. If only my younger sister had listened. She told the guy who loved her through her school days that he was too perfect. The guy is now successful and married with a family, while she is still single and lonely. She has said many times she wishes she could have him back. Don't lose your chance.

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

‎I know my comment may come late, but let me say this for the single ladies that may read it.


The number 1 mistake‎ ladies make while searching, waiting and screening potential suitors is:

1. Ladies mostly think about: Me, I, Myself...without considering the other party they want to meet.

How do I mean? 

You are a lady, u want a tall, dark, neat, intelligent, handsome man earning good income‎, but then, u fail to ask yourself: do I meet the standard this type of man I want to settle with wants in a lady? Do I have the qualities this my dream man want in a lady he would want to commit to and settle with

Some ladies aren't that physically beautiful and attractive, yet they want a hot looking guy that also has money, how come It may happen to a very few lucky ladies by luck and destiny, but it's very rare!‎

Some ladies are so damn broke, no job, no career, no business, no handwork, no nothing and they don't look exceedingly beautiful (not the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder type of beauty o), and they want a tall, dark/fair, handsome guy with good income source, how come

Many ladies feel they are smart, intelligent, classy, but to their dream man (the type of man they desire), they are dull, unintelligent, tacky and not up to his standard.

Ladies forget easily that men also have standard o (very high standard o).
‎
This is where compromise comes into play....marriage isn't all about emotional love, butterfly love, tikini love....love fades away...Angelina Jolie was madly in love with  ‎Brad Pitt, but today they are about divorcing and no longer in love...Kim K was madly in love with Ray J that she gave him her virginity, but today, Kim K hates Ray J with passion and now loves Kanye West she never gave a chance. Tiwa Savage was once in love with Tee Billz, but today, the love has turn sour! 


So as a lady, while u are busy listing the qualities u want in your dream man, please also bring out a check list to mark the qualities u have that will make u that your dream man's dream woman!

You may have average hips/as$/bo0bs/no-flat-tummy, etc and your dream man wants a lady with big hips/as$/b0obs/flat tummy/tiny voice, etc. What then happens? There will be conflict of interest and unfortunately, the man makes the final decision when it comes to deciding who to marry, sadly.‎

The more refined a man is, the higher his taste of women; this is one of the reasons men cheat even after marrying hot women....our taste in women changes as we become more financially, politically and academically exposed! So there's high possibility that your dream man may not find u attractive and good enough for himself, sadly.‎
‎
If u want to be happy in marriage and in life generally, learn to love those who love you and stop fantasizing about those who don't want u!

When it comes to choosing a life partner, God and nature gave men that sole right to decide...so it's not your fault....it is only a man that can decide who to marry and when to marry.

You may think u are very beautiful and hot (most women think so due to several irrelevant complements they receive from both unserious, promiscuous and serious guys), but to those kind of guys u fancy and desire, u are below their standard in terms of physical beauty, character, intelligence, academics, smartness, home-keeping, humor, etc....but u won't know because u feel since u have a good job, u are good to go.

Note: on a normal day, all things being equal, financial status of a lady is never on the list of the 5 major qualities men look out for in a would-be wife.
‎
Some of the qualities men consider first are:‎

1. Physical beauty/attractiveness
2. Character/morality/respect/humility
3. Home-keeping ability
4. Ability to communicate effectively
5. Friendliness

And maybe
6. Financial status/type of job/career
7. Family background
8. Etc

So check yourself very well; do u really have the qualities of a woman that your dream guy wants in a woman

Everything is not about religion and prayer, God has given us wisdom to make choices and take responsibility of our lives, so use that wisdom!

Love is never enough reason to marry any man or woman! Marriage takes more than emotional love that fades away with time and familiarity!

Marriage need stable income, mutual respect, understanding, sacrifice, patience, humility and tolerance to stand than it needs emotional love! 

Wake up before it's too late!! May you find whatever you seek!‎

seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

I would have sent you a mail but since you don't like perfect guys make I kuku Sidon dey look...

Because me I be near perfect o..TDH with correct brain and I still get money to pay my bills.

But the wahala be say I'm too principled and I am a no nonsense man...

sisisioge:
Oh baby...I should buy you a drink! Whew! My story isn't far from yours o.

But relax...it will happen.

For someone not an eye sore, my case is freaking funny. The A loves B but B loves C story is just too real. And they say I'm doing shakara, some even say I'm an intentional bachelorette ( I no fit spell am jare) wetin we go do nau? Finding the One is an herculean task!

Here is my advice: try to live more and not think too hard about it. Treat yourself to some feel good therapy dear...expensive hair(no apologies, trust me it feels goooood to wear them) , nice perfumes (my sis just got the bottle of Marc Jacob that looks like a purse...been stealing it), lovely shoes and put on some lipstick! Ogbeni, live a little by enjoying your spinsterhood while it last. You will soon be responsible for plenty people

By the way, I no be your mate for age o...my mama dey presently confused about my status sef. My bestie is married to a guy she met within a year! They met here on NL o( they just saw each other and knew straight up) I never fail to point out their luck to them. No be say guys aren't coming, we just no dey jive ni. A particular Nairalander has turned it to fight for me after I told him straight up its a nono for me after an exchange of about three emails. Wetin person go do nau...we owe ourselves the responsibility of finding the One lest we create dysfunctional homes. I miss the companionship, I miss the sense of being a team mate, I seriously can't wait to procreate, I envy my friends with those wonderful kids mehn...but I want a man who would light me up like a bulb.

You will find... Just relax.

OK look at this scenario? if you are locked up with an enemy(male) in a room to survive yourselves, at first you guys might not get along but with time you'll get along. or even love yourself? why?

apart from food, cloths and shelter every other needs(like perfect man) is only but an illusion. everybody has different type in their heads.

how can life be interesting when you have exactly what you wish for? my dear when you get this "perfect man" you'll get bored. or maybe you'll need another type of "perfect" love don't hold a marriage. understanding does.

E bami womo o Emi na fe love oo I want to love. baby...I should buy you a drink! Whew! My story isn't far from yours oBut relax...it will happen.

For someone not an eye sore, my case is freaking funny. The A loves B but B loves C story is just too real. And they say I'm doing shakara, some even say I'm an intentional bachelorette ( I no fit spell am jare) wetin we go do nau? Finding the One is an herculean task!

Here is my advice: try to live more and not think too hard about it. Treat yourself to some feel good therapy dear...expensive hair(no apologies, trust me it feels goooood to wear them) , nice perfumes (my sis just got the bottle of Marc Jacob that looks like a purse...been stealing it), lovely shoes and put on some lipstick! Ogbeni, live a little by enjoying your spinsterhood while it last. You will soon be responsible for plenty people

By the way, I no be your mate for age o...my mama dey presently confused about my status sef. My bestie is married to a guy she met within a year! They met here on NL o( they just saw each other and knew straight up) I never fail to point out their luck to them. No be say guys aren't coming, we just no dey jive ni. A particular Nairalander has turned it to fight for me after I told him straight up its a nono for me after an exchange of about three emails. Wetin person go do nau...we owe ourselves the responsibility of finding the One lest we create dysfunctional homes. I miss the companionship, I miss the sense of being a team mate, I seriously can't wait to procreate, I envy my friends with those wonderful kids mehn...but I want a man who would light me up like a bulb.

You will find... Just relax.[/quote]

seizethaBae:
if u guys no d level of my seriousness walah iu wont take it as a joke. shams040 im not here to look for patner/husband but to find experience pple to diagnose what could be wrong with me or if it happens to most ladies before they settle down. Experience pple pls respond plsssss

OK let's cut the chase..

There is nothing wrong with you dearie but what you are feeling is M.A.I (marriage anxiety syndrome) which usually sets in at late 20s for ladies and mid 30s for guys and I'm sorry to say once it sets in you can't undo it but you can only manage it.

Be friendly and be open minded....go out and interact with people and try to relax without getting too concerned about it and that man will surely walk into your life but the wahala is this feeling thing...I always tell ladies go be with guys who truly want them rather than the one they want.

Anyways let me drop my phone number and I will remove it soon so add me on watsup and let's interact...

I know nairaland tantafos will say toks Wan woo you but ko kan aye,emi naa ti balaga iyawo lo ku ti mo n wa ...

Make you no fear o na just friend thingy..I am too careful to just woo a lady but I love socializing