thorpido:
This right here.


The comments on this thread tho.

The average Nigerian woman is up in arms.


#singing where is the love....

VikingsOO7:
A well written article. I dunno why people are attacking the messenger instead of appreciating the simple message the op is trying to share.

Onegai:


You don't get, I started counting threads a while back bashing women or telling them to change for the better. Then I tried comparing it to threads extolling women. The ratio was 10: 0. Not one male moniker thought to say "hey, we have great women", it was all just insults and putting down in nasty and petty manner.

They don't even realise how bad is to constantly feed yourself negative ideas about a gender, it means when you eventually do get married, you will go in thinking it is a battlefield, that every little issue will become an avenue for a vicious fight. With that mindset, your marriage is dead on arrival. You cannot keep saying "she is evil and bad" and then think you will meet a pretty girl, marry her and one day NOT say the same thing about her. You are what you consume.

Do you know I met some guys on NL who are married and they said they're disgusted by Family section guys? I've met 3 now who call them small boys and one went to say I should stop coming to this section because my mind would be poisoned.

EfemenaXY:


It works both ways.

Living in chronic poverty where gaining access to the very basics (food, clothing, shelter) isn't the exclusive preserve of the women folk.

No one here is saying don't stand by your partner when you hit a rough patch. What we're saying is: learn to appreciate your other half when they take on the added responsibility of running the home and bringing in the bacon.

There is nothing more depressing for a woman to work flat out just to keep the family afloat while the man does nothing to improve the situation. Thousands of women do it anyway but what adds pepper to the injury is when the man becomes obnoxious and makes an already difficult situation intolerable by making comments such as, "oh, shebi you've grown wings now because you're the sole earner..." or situations (like the @op's father) where the man gets too comfortable and doesn't see the need to get up and do something.

@op is getting a lot of stick because he endorses a slave mentality for women. Who wants to age before their time? For little to no appreciation with no thanks / acknowledgement.

eyinjuege:


He's pleading with women to be like his mother, but the question is aren't women still supporting their homes financially?

More women support their spouses compared to those that don't when they get into financial difficulties.

A lot of women hustle for the school fees of their children, women have been doing that and are still doing it. They make sure there's food at home, the kids are well cared for and dress neatly despite the challenges their husbands face financially.
He makes it sound as though all the sacrifices these same women have made and are still making mean nothing. As if they don't.
I've been privileged to have access to a lot of people in my line of work, and I will say it that most women always go the extra mile for their families.
Is it the one that always takes out cooperative loan, and borrows money about in order that her family can complete their building project? At the end of the month, she's left with nothing to go home with. Is it the one that always wants to be the first to collect the monthly thrift money because school fees period is coming?
Is it the one that the husband has been jobless since I've known the family, and yet the children are going to the best schools, she uses the latest models of cars (given to her by the office) which is changed every four years and she's allowed to buy it for peanuts and she does it and automatically changes her husband's car every four years too. She's still as humble as ever, and you can see/palpate the respect she gives her husband who equally holds her in awe.
These are all professional women with good jobs btw.
Even the pepper seller hustling is doing it to help their partners

His message was directed solely to those "fair weather wives" who expect their husbands to be a dangote till thy kingdom comes.
Of course we have lots and lots of hard working women. Who work day and night to support their family. But that's not the point here.

Shym3xx:
Lol.

This is what happens when guys get some loose coins and start chasing pretentious women, who only want to enjoy the goodies, for marriage. Any woman that wasn't there with you when you were shooting in the gym. But only came when you got that big contract, is only interested in the financial buffer you have to offer. And once it goes, she's definitely going to follow suit.

Funny story. The guy is a sucker.

Dyt:
Everyone likes to be the saint
Like someone I knoe
The husband and his family claimed she left cos he had nothing
But when he had
Different women, don't sleep home weekends, partying and what not
He became broke
Wife stood by him and even gave him money but he preferred to give the gfs that was still with him
She got fed up and left

Now when you hear the husbands side, you think the woman is evil
But when you hear the wife's side, would you still say what she did was wrong?
Oh you would have said she shouldn't give him money again but stayed


We all have a limit we can take
Be it woman/man

PaulIdu:


from experience I know 99 percent of Nigerian women marry to take financial burden of their parent and alleviate any small poverty disturbing them , ..

Ngokafor:

......what nonsense is this now??..so pathetic!

keepingmum:
You dont trust your wife to share a major life changing event such as loosing your job/finances rather you share it with your mother and you expect your wife's support??

Who do you expect to pick up the bills and support the household in your state of joblessness? Your mother abi?

I dont know the calibre of boys that are raised these days with some very silly self entitled spirit. Why complain when wifey refuses to stay back, after all you didnt think her worthy enough to share that info.

Its like a child who fails a class and rather than go home and tell his parents, i have failed and have to repeat; you instead tell your friends. When school resumes, is it your friends that will pay those fees ? Do your parents not deserve to be prewarned of the additional responsibilities about to befall them?

Then ofcourse there is also the question of how you have being treating your wife in your days of "rolling in the dosh".

abeg i de go chop choco milo this morning

Joy1706:
Not all men deserve loyalty. If you were treating me like trash and sleeping around when you had money, and then expect me to stand by you when you're now broke, hahahahhaha ha I laugh in Spanish. The misery I will put you through no go get part 2. Loyalty my ass. By the time I start, na you go pack your bags comot from house. Yes, I'm a very vindictive person and I never forget

EfemenaXY:

Many of these guys bring it all upon themselves by believing Love = Money

It all depends on how they portray themselves during the dating stage. If they give the impression they've got bottomless pockets and feel the best way to get a girl is by flashing the cash, then they have no one but themselves to blame when things take a financial downturn and the lady walks out.

It's all about the standards set at the beginning.

PaulIdu:


I can't blame any party here because from experience I know 99 percent of Nigerian women marry to take financial burden of their parent and alleviate any small poverty disturbing them , so when the factor that joined them in marriage in the first place is missing they immediate cut rope and tend to move on ..My advise to men is to know the reason why a girl has agreed to marry you, is it because of your job, your looks,your temperament, your ambition or just to prove a point that she can get married.. marry a girl that loves you for no reason and make sure you love her deeply just for that reason ..

eyinjuege:
Dear blogger,

Women equally leave rich people for whatever reason.
Did your friend turn to the Lion of the tribe of anger after his job loss?
Did he become unbearable to live with?
What was his relationship with his wife like before he lost his job?
Your own mother wasn't and wouldn't be the only who has supported her husband in difficult times.
We see women hustling everyday to support their families despite some of their husbands not bringing in anything to the table. In fact, millions of women in Nigeria do that. Go to the market, you will see women carrying heavy load for others even while heavily pregnant, go to construction sites, go to banks, hospitals, civil service, just to name a few. All in a bid to make their families live a better life.
In a bid to paint your mother as a saint and your father as a man who's sole purpose in life is to eat afang soup, you really don't need your friend's marital and financial woes to do that.

keepingmum:
You dont trust your wife to share a major life changing event such as loosing your job/finances rather you share it with your mother and you expect your wife's support??

Who do you expect to pick up the bills and support the household in your state of joblessness? Your mother abi?

I dont know the calibre of boys that are raised these days with some very silly self entitled spirit. Why complain when wifey refuses to stay back, after all you didnt think her worthy enough to share that info.

Its like a child who fails a class and rather than go home and tell his parents, i have failed and have to repeat; you instead tell your friends. When school resumes, is it your friends that will pay those fees ? Do your parents not deserve to be prewarned of the additional responsibilities about to befall them?

Then ofcourse there is also the question of how you have being treating your wife in your days of "rolling in the dosh".

abeg i de go chop choco milo this morning

Smoke2015:


http://josephedgarng..com.ng/2016/10/diary-he-lost-his-job-his-wife-left-him.html?m=1

VikingsOO7:
A well written article. I dunno why people are attacking the messenger instead of appreciating the simple message the op is trying to share.

mecussey:


Me i wonder how everybody have become interested in the Ops father, mother and afang soup instead of the msg he was trying to pass accross.